Through the Window 2

by Mary Jane Ballew

  She smiled, “Thank you, cousin, for saying so,” she said softly. “I am so glad you decided to come and join us.

  He smiled, “Of course, what would make this evening truly perfect is if you would agree to play for us?” he suggested.

  Georgiana smiled, “All right, if you like I will play for you,” she agreed. “Do you have anything in particular, you might like to hear?”

  “I would love to hear you play, Believe Me, if all those Endearing Young Charms,” he told her. “I should like to hear it very much.”

  Georgiana stopped suddenly and turned to look back at him, “Are you very sure, cousin?” she asked him, her voice filled with concern.

  Owen smiled to reassure her, “Tis a fond memory for me, Georgie,” he said softly, his voice filled with melancholy. “I would like to cherish it and not forget, so please, go and play it.”

  Georgiana smiled, “Then you shall hear me play for you now,” she told him as she walked over to the pianoforte.

  Richard stood up and walked over towards Georgiana, “I would be happy to turn the pages for you,” he offered.

  Georgiana moved over just a little, “If you like.”

  Richard sat down next her, “I remember the first time you played this song,” he commented. “I believe Emily taught it to you, did she not?”

  Tears filled Georgiana’s eyes, “Yes she did,” she said as she struggled to bring her emotions under control. “I believe it was one of her favorites.”

  “I remember when you played it for us all and she sang,” he said softly as she began to play.

  Owen took in a deep breath and thought back to a time when Emily was still with them. He could almost hear her singing there for them now. As the melody played on, he found himself smiling; the pain of losing her was still there but had lost some of its sting. Gone was some of the deepest sorrow. Finally, after all this time he was able to replace the bitter thoughts of losing her with happier memories of the times they shared. He slowly opened his eyes and realized for the first time he could let go of some of the hurt and sadness that he had been holding on to. Finally, now he could begin to heal. He listened to Georgiana play and smiled.

  Georgiana played as well as she could for her cousin. As the final notes came before her, she sniffled in just a little and blinked away a few stray tears. She turned to her cousin and smiled. “I hope that was to your liking, cousin Owen?”

  “It was, Georgie. I promise you that it truly was,” he said as he walked over and kissed her tenderly on the cheek.

  Richard took in a small breath and cleared his throat, “What shall we play next Georgie?” he asked her.

  She looked over at him and smiled, “I have one in mind,” she teased him. “And I think you shall sing for us all,” she laughed.

  Richard was just about to protest when Owen laughed, “Oh yes, little brother, I think she is right. You must sing for your supper,” he joked.

  Before Richard could say anything more, Georgiana began to play, and he began to sing along with her. Owen walked back over and extended his arm to Caroline, “Would you care to take a turn with me, Miss Bingley?” he asked her.

  Caroline stood up and walked with him about the room. “That song, I believe it means a great deal to you?” she said softly.

  “It was one of Emily’s favorites,” he told her. “She taught it to Georgie while she was still a little girl.”

  Caroline smiled, “It is very lovely,” she commented as she looked back over at the Colonel and Georgiana. “I think I know what your secret was…” she began to say.

  Owen furrowed his brow, “My secret?” he said not remembering what she was talking about.

  “Yes, while we were out walking this morning in the park, you said that I should not feel sorry for the Colonel and Miss Bennet because you knew two secrets,” she reminded him.

  Owen smiled, “Yes, I do recall that now,” he said. “So tell me then, Miss Bingley, what are the two secrets?”

  Caroline looked back over at Georgiana and Colonel Fitzwilliam and said softly, “The Colonel has fallen in love already,” she said. “And she will be acceptable to your mother because she does come with her own income. He has fallen in love with Miss Darcy,” she guessed.

  Owen looked at his younger brother, “I believe he has, yes; although I do not think he fully realizes it yet,” he told her.

  “But what of Miss Bennet then?” Caroline asked him. “The Colonel has been very attentive to her.”

  “Yes, he has,” Owen admitted. “But after I took a turn in the gardens with Miss Bennet and asked her a few pertinent questions, I now believe my brother's attention to her is that of a brother and nothing more. She said as much herself.”

  “Then she does not have feelings for him herself?” Caroline asked.

  “No,” he said. “There might have been some infatuation there in the beginning, but I believe she is not in love with him.”

  “And what of your cousin, what are Georgiana’s feelings for the colonel, do you know?” she asked him.

  “That I cannot say for certain,” he told her. “Georgie is still rather young, and it is possible that she may not yet know herself how she is truly feeling. I have observed on several occasions that she becomes very distressed when my brother gives his attention to Miss Bennet, though,” he told her. “Based on that and the way they are together, I believe it is possible one day they will marry.”

  Caroline realized for the first time just what a truly romantic man he was, “You have the heart of a romantic,” she whispered.

  He looked at her and smiled, “Do you think so Miss Bingley?” he asked her.

  She nodded her head, “I do, Mr. Fitzwilliam,” she told him. She looked at him and furrowed her brow as she realized something, “But wait, you have only told me one secret, and yet you said you had two…”

  His smile widened, “I did say that,” he said as he leaned in closer to her. “What no one yet knows, not even my mother or father; for I have not told another living soul this secret that I am about to tell you, is this,” he began to say then stopped suddenly. “I can trust you, can I not Miss Bingley, to keep what I am about to share in the strictest of confidence?”

  Caroline knew at once that he was sincerely asking if she could be trusted with his secret. There was a time when she would have been offended by such an inquiry. However, now as she examined her conduct of recent years, she realized the doubt in her character was deserved. “I will not speak what you share with me to another living soul until such a time as you give leave of me to do so.”

  He took in a deep breath and considered for a moment if he should take that first step. In many ways, what he was about to do was a kind of leap of faith of his own. He had not allowed himself to trust another woman in such an intimate way since his beloved Emily. Yet, as he looked into Caroline’s eyes, he found himself feeling things again that he had all but thought died and buried forever. “What no one else knows, is this, Miss Bingley. My younger brother will not have to make his own way in this world as my mother and father suppose. You see, I have witnessed my aunt’s plight as well. I know how difficult it can be for one member of the family to have much while another has so little. I have every intention of sharing my inheritance with my brother one day. In fact, it is my intention to allow Richard to live with any family he might have at Willowing. I shall bear the title Lord Fitzwilliam as the law requires, but I am determined that he share in the benefits that my father and his father before him worked so very hard to secure.”

  Caroline was astonished, “Mr. Fitzwilliam, that is remarkably generous of you!”

  He shook his head, “I thank you for your kind words, Miss Bingley, but in truth, I no longer find I have the desire to live out my days at Willowing,” he said in a somber voice. Seeing the look of surprise on her face, he quickly added, “When Emily was alive, we spent a great deal of our time there. We made plans for our future. We talked about having children and growing old together. Whe
n she died, all those hopes and dreams came to an abrupt end. Now I find the ghosts that haunt those halls bring back such painful memories that cannot be vanquished. I would much rather allow Richard to begin anew there. The income of fifteen thousand a year that my father is leaving me is more than enough to provide for both myself and Richard. I am determined that five thousand a year will go to my brother. I believe I will be better suited here in London, and I think Hallowell a very fine house. Do you not agree with me, Miss Bingley?”

  Caroline suddenly felt overwhelmed with guilt for her actions with her own brother. When she considered the depth of love and generosity Mr. Fitzwilliam had for his brother, she felt shamed by her own conduct. She sniffled in and quickly averted her eyes. “I do think Hallowell a very fine house, Mr. Fitzwilliam,” she said softly. She chewed her lip for just a moment as her emotions overcame her. She pulled away from him, “Excuse me, Mr. Fitzwilliam. I believe I need some air for a moment,” she said as she struggled to regain her composure. She moved towards the door and almost reached it when she felt his strong hand take hold of hers.

  “Miss Bingley,” he said in a hushed voice, “I did not mean to upset you just now. Please forgive me if what I shared distressed you in any way.”

  Caroline looked over towards Georgiana and Colonel Fitzwilliam. They still sat together at the opposite side of the room playing the pianoforte, oblivious to the inner turmoil she was now struggling with. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “It is nothing you have said, Mr. Fitzwilliam,” she said as she shook her head and tried again to get her emotions under control. “It is just that, hearing of how much you love your brother makes me regret most keenly my own actions towards my own brother.”

  He furrowed his brow in confusion, “What actions are you speaking of, Miss Bingley?”

  Caroline swallowed hard, “Actions so very unkind and dreadful that I am sure when they are made known to you,” her voice broke just a little as she continued. “You will no longer wish to be in my company.”

  Owen pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her. “Miss Bingley, I am sure it cannot be as bad as all that,” he assured her. “I have seen you in your brother’s company, and he seems to hold no ill will towards you.”

  Caroline took the handkerchief from him and moved further away from Georgiana and Colonel Fitzwilliam. She wiped her eyes gently and sniffled in again. “Before Charles and Jane married,” she began to say as fresh tears formed in her eyes. “Before they married, I sought to bring about an end to their acquaintance, even though I knew my brother was in love with her. I lied to him and purposely deceived him for my own selfish reasons. I behaved as a dreadful sister to him; I thought nothing of his happiness or well-being, only my own.”

  Owen reached out and took her hand in his, “Miss Bingley, before you pronounce yourself a demon and declare me a saint, please know that I did not always feel this way. There was a time when I would have happily lived out my days with Emily at Willowing; but you see, losing her has opened my eyes to a great many things. In fact, in having loved Emily as I did and then losing her so unexpectedly, I have come to see that our time on this earth is far too short to place so much value on such trivial things as titles, and position of birth. You yourself mentioned how unfair it seemed that I should have a life of ease while my brother will not, all because he had the misfortune of being born after me.”

  Caroline wiped her eyes, “But I have been so very unkind to my brother for a very long time,” she mumbled. She looked up into his eyes; there was so much kindness and understanding there she had not noticed before. She let her guard down just a little, as she took in a small breath then said, “I was not always so unfeeling to Charles. There was a time when we were closer than we are now.”

  Owen searched her eyes, “What brought about the change between you?” he asked her.

  She shook her head and looked over at Georgiana and the Colonel, “I cannot speak of it now,” she said as she took in a deep breath and forced herself to blink away the remaining tears.

  He knew this was not the time to press the matter further, “I understand Miss Bingley,” he said as he took her hand and placed it on his arm, “I do truly understand, but I hope one day very soon you will unburden yourself of whatever it is that has tormented you for so very long.” He whispered as he guided her back over to join his brother and cousin.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Darcy sat at his desk overlooking his accounts as well as his letters when he noticed a bill had come from the dress shop. He smiled, it gave him great satisfaction to be able to buy Elizabeth the things she wanted. He opened the bill and read over the note. His eyes narrowed as he saw the amount due for six new gowns and several new hats. He shook his head in disbelief as he ran his hands through his hair. He knew he told Elizabeth to buy what she wished, but this was not what he expected of her. As he sat there considering how he should speak to her, he found it more and more difficult to believe these purchases would have come from Elizabeth. It was not that he would begrudge her new gowns or anything else she wanted, but it was so unlike her to be overly excessive. He leaned back in his chair and considered what to do as Elizabeth came into his study.

  “I am about to go with Jane to help Lydia secure a gown to wear to Mary’s wedding, and Georgiana’s coming out ball,” Elizabeth told him as she went to put on her bonnet.

  Darcy held up the bill, “I think you should look at this before you go,” he told her as he handed it to her.

  Elizabeth placed her bonnet down on the desk and took the note. She read it over as her eyes widened in shock, “Oh William!” she cried out. “This has to be a mistake!” she said as she read it over again. “I promise you! I would never spend so much!”

  Darcy’s eyes narrowed, “No, Elizabeth, it is not a mistake,” he told her. “I believe the bill is correct.”

  Her eyes opened wide as she looked at him, “William! You cannot believe I would spend so much on dresses and hats!?” she said, somewhat surprised that he would believe that of her.

  Darcy furrowed his brow, “No,” he shook his head, “No, my darling,” he assured her. “I do not believe it is you who did this.”

  Relief washed over Elizabeth’s face, “Who then?” she said, but then realized. “Oh Lydia!” she sighed as she walked over and sat down. “William, I had no idea when Mary told me Lydia bought so many new gowns and hats that she would be so presumptuous as to have them billed to you.”

  “I am not at all surprised that she would do such a thing,” he told her. “Clearly, Wickham’s influence over her has only encouraged her inconsiderate and thoughtless behavior. I am sure she thought little of you when she sought to take advantage of your kindness to her.”

  Elizabeth shook her head as she looked at the bill again. “Oh William, what will you do?”

  Darcy thought for a moment, “Well, my love, if you read the bill, only one of the dresses has been completed for the sum of,” he walked over and took the bill back from her. “For the sum of three pounds eight shillings. Apparently, Mr. Higgins is a wise enough businessman to know better than to make all of these gowns without some compensation first.”

  “Still, such a sum for only one gown,” Elizabeth remarked. “William, I am so sorry. I had no idea she would attempt such a thing.”

  Darcy shook his head, “Do not concern yourself, my love,” he assured her. “I will handle the matter. However, you must speak with your sister; this cannot go on. I will admit that I could easily pay such a sum, but I will not do so. Lydia and Wickham must learn to live within their means.”

  Elizabeth sighed. “I will speak with her today. She is to accompany us to the dressmakers,” she told him.

  Darcy placed the letter on his desk and walked back over to Elizabeth. “I will write a note to Mr. Higgins at once telling him that you will be there with your sister to collect the one dress that has been completed, and that we have decided not to go ahead with the other gowns at this time. I wi
ll further explain to him that he is not to accept any commissions from Mrs. Wickham in the future without expressly checking with myself or you,” he told her.

  Elizabeth could see the look of frustration in his eyes, “I am sorry, William. I know this is all rather embarrassing for you,” she said, feeling bad for him. “I remember what you said about the way gossip travels here in London. I promise I will speak with my father and make sure he does not allow Lydia to do anything like this again,” she told him. “Then I will speak to Lydia directly.”

  Darcy smiled, “All will be well, my love,” he told her. “I believe I know best how to handle this. Clearly, Mr. Higgins is a shrewd man, or he would have completed all the gowns and then sent me a bill. I believe he must have suspected that I was not aware of Lydia’s schemes and that is why he only completed the one gown and not all six. I think he will understand as long as he is paid for the one gown.”

  Elizabeth looked into his eyes, “Then you are not angry with me?’ she asked him.