Carnal Desire

by K. T Fisher

  "Anyway, one thing led to another and we had some pretty hot sex." His eyes look down to the table I'm sat on and I cast a disgusted look. He blushes and I see a hint of a smile. "I cleaned it off properly Di!" He protests. Then his eyes flicker to the wall. He's obviously replaying another memory. This sounds like it was a little more serious than a quick fling.

  "Anyway, as soon as we were done with her tattoo she got up and left."

  "What about Elle?" I'm guessing that as he hasn't got a black eye she doesn't know about this. She doesn't strike me as the type to accept this kind of behavior, casual relationship or not.

  "I haven't told her." He looks to me, sighing heavily. "I'm torn mate, part of me says I respect her enough to tell her, and the other part of me say's it's none of her business who I put my dick in." The first part of that comment is the Ink I know and love, the second half is the biker talking.

  There's a huge bang as the door flies fully open, causing me to jump. Ink tenses, I turn to see a very pissed off Elle. She's obviously heard our conversation. Fuck, I'm so glad Ink had removed the tattoo gun from my arm before the crash.

  "You fucking bastard!" Elle rushes across the room, fists clenched, her face hard and pissed off. She stands right in front of Ink. I sensibly move away a little to give them some space. "I thought I was a little more than a casual fuck, or am I just somewhere to stick your dick, like all the others!" She screams. Wow, this girl sure can shout.

  Just as I suspected, she lets loose with her hands, giving him such a hard slap across the face that I can feel the sting. That's going to leave a mark.

  "Elle. I was going to tell you, honest babe. It meant nothing." Ink holds Elle's hands down by her side to stop her flying fists.

  "Well it meant something to me, you fucker! You've been balls deep in my pussy every day since we met, it's not like you needed to look elsewhere for it. I mean fucking hell, Ink! You fucked me so hard the other night because you were jealous of Ice flirting with me! How would you feel if I went off and fucked him?" Ink suddenly looks pissed, without needing to hear his words we all know that Ink wouldn't like that at all; but she's right. Why should he have all the fun and Elle not have any, if they're not serious?

  "So why? What don't I have that she has?" Elle is losing a little of her fire now. Instead, she's starting to look defeated and broken.

  "It's not like that Elle, the opportunity was there and I just couldn't resist. I'm sorry babe; I've tried to tell you. I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want to hurt you." Ink's eyes show the sadness he's feeling. This girl means more to him than he realizes.

  "Too late Ink, I won't be anyone's sloppy seconds. The sex was good but I can't, and won't, put up with you whoring around. I'm out of here." Elle turns quickly, giving me a quick look of apology as she passes. She slams the door behind her as she leaves.

  "Aren't you going after her?" I ask. Ink shakes his head.

  "I'll give her time to calm down first, besides I've got your tattoo to finish." I think he's making a mistake, but I don't correct him. I just hope for his sake she's still here when he's ready to go fix things.

  Ink picks up the tattoo gun and continues where he left off, coloring the rising sun on my arm.

  ***

  Elle

  I'm such a stupid cow!

  Ink never made me any promises. I know that. He never said he'd be faithful, hell he's a biker. Does he even know what faithful means?

  I thought with the occasional jealous fits he's shown, that something was happening between us. I guess I was wrong.

  Tears are streaming down my face as I enter the room we've been sharing since we got back.

  Quickly I grab my bag, stuffing everything into it haphazardly. Walking into the bathroom I sweep my toiletries from the shelf straight into the bag, uncaring whether I ruin my clothes or not. I contemplate taking the sexy lingerie I bought to wear for him, but decide against it. I don't want that memory anymore. The best thing for me is to forget all about Ink.

  I take one last look at the bed where we made love this morning, his betrayal catching in my throat.

  I can't forgive him. I'm out of here.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Eve

  Ink has been so down since Elle left. Neither of them has told me what happened. I think Diane knows but she's keeping tight lipped. It's not like her to gossip, well not unless it's about the club whores anyway.

  Its lunchtime and Ink's just come in from working in the shop in town; he looks drained. I call him over to the bar where I'm sitting. Angel's gone off on some errand and I'm too nosey not to take this opportunity to find out what's been happening. Besides, I care for them both. They’ve become really good friends of mine.

  "You want to tell me what's going on?" I ask him directly. He gives me a pained look, before pulling up a stool and sitting next to me. The prospect on duty quickly appears, passing him a beer and topping up my cola. It's too early for me to be drinking.

  "Basically, I fucked up," he sighs loudly, looking over at me. "I fucked up big time, Eve. I didn't realize what I could have had. There was this great woman right in front of my eyes and I threw it away in a moment. I was thinking with my dick instead of my head, and now Elle's gone. She won’t talk to me; I've fucked it all up before it even began." Ink's never given me the impression he's a man whore, but from the odd comment the guys make, I do know he's not into repeat performances. It's why I was so surprised to see Elle return from England with him.

  We spend some time talking about how he feels about Elle. I can see he's scared that he has any feelings for her at all. He'd thought it was just some hot sex for the both of them and was making the most of it while it lasted. From what Elle had told me in our earlier chats I'd thought she was on the same wavelength as him as well.

  Ink took advantage of Emma's offering herself up with no strings. It was something he'd not have thought twice about before Elle, but he thinks there's more between him and Elle than just sex. There's a connection there he's not had before. He's quick to protest that he doesn't love her. He's pretty vague when he says he's not even sure he knows what love is. That's a conversation I want to dig into deeper, but he's too resistant. He tries to change the topic but I won't let him. It's obvious this guy has some demons in his past, but he's not going to share them with me today.

  He tells me about Elle's reaction to his possessiveness the night they arrived. That sounds like Elle. I think she'd have reacted like that even if they were together properly. She's quite strong and independent bless her. I can see how he'd misunderstand that. I try and explain that even though I'm Angel's old lady I'd be pissed if he spoke about me like that. Just because these guys are alpha bikers, they shouldn't talk about women like that. I try to help him understand that Elle and I weren't raised around the biker lifestyle. While his behavior may have been considered a compliment by someone like Diane, personally I can see why Elle was pissed off. To me it's like a dog pissing on a tree to mark his territory. There's nothing romantic about that. It's just macho bullshit.

  Ink was the one person who stood by me when Elvis died, he was there for me. If I can help him resolve this situation with Elle, I will.

  "You're off back to work this afternoon aren't you?" He nods. "Let me call Elle and see if I can get her to come over and have a chat. I'm not sure I'll be able to persuade her to come back here, but I'll play the boredom card. Guilt her into it if I have to." A smile starts to light up his face.

  "You'd do that for me?" What happened to this guy that he seems so pleased by my small gesture?

  "I'll do it for both of you. Elle is my friend as well, and right now, she's the only friend I have outside of this fucked up lifestyle I seem to have landed myself in."

  I'm not just doing it for him. I need to speak to someone outside of the club, and as I'm forbidden to leave the compound my options are limited. I can't believe Angel used the word forbidden with me. It was like a red rag to a bull. He blustered his way through an apology,
trying to convince me it was for my safety. I finally forgave him, but that was days later after he finally gave in and made love to me. I'd forgive that man anything after a hot session in bed.

  I blush, drawing my attention back to Ink and away from the hot scenes I'm re-enacting in my head. He gives me a knowing smirk.

  "You're thinking about Angel aren't you?" He laughs. Damn, was I that obvious?

  "So..." I try to get our conversation back on track. "Do you want me to call her or not?"

  "If you can get her to give me another chance I'll be your friend forever." He smiles.

  "Ink, you were gonna be my friend forever anyway." I laugh. "I'll see what I can do."

  Ink gets up from his chair, pausing to give me a kiss on the cheek. I'm glad Angel isn't around to see it, innocent as it was. He still has a bee in his bonnet over me getting close to Ink on my last trip out here.

  "I'm glad you're back, babe." Ink hugs me. "You're good for this club." He grabs his keys from the bar, and heads back to work.

  I pull out my phone, wondering what's the best way to start this conversation with Elle. I decide to chicken out and text her instead.

  EVE: Hey babe, I'm dying of boredom here. Any chance you could come over this afternoon?

  ELLE: Will Ink be there? I don't want to bump into him.

  EVE: Nope, he's at the shop in town, won't be back till late.

  ELLE: In that case, yes, see you in an hour xx

  I'm looking forward to seeing my friend again. I hope she and Ink can work out whatever this is between them. I can see it from both sides, and feel a little like I'm stuck in the middle here. I don't want to lose Elle though; over here she seems to be my only connection with the real world.

  I look at the clock and notice it's time to go rescue Teresa. She's been looking after Elizabeth this morning, and if I know my daughter they'll both be worn out.

  Chapter Twenty

  Eve

  Elle takes just over an hour to get to the Severed MC clubhouse. Heads turn as she walks in. Her long blonde hair looks perfect as always. She's wearing black shorts that show off those fabulous legs of hers, and a plain white shirt. I can tell she's a little nervous and unsure as she looks around the room. As soon as she spots me sitting at the bar her face breaks out in a huge smile. I rush over to give her a hug.

  "God I missed you." She says into my ear, hugging me back.

  "How are you?" We both sit on bar stools, facing each other.

  "Better now I've seen you. I've been bored shitless."

  I laugh, but see she's deadly serious. "You can come see me anytime."

  She gives me a look. I know what she's going to say. "Yeah right, when I can bump into him whilst I'm here. Sounds fabulous."

  The prospect approaches us to take our order, but we don't want anything to drink. I suggest going somewhere quiet, and with more privacy than here. Angel is out on club business, and Elizabeth is down for a nap in Teresa's room after watching one of Teresa’s many Disney films on DVD. I decide the best place is mine and Angel’s room.

  "Where are we going?" Elle asks when I tell her to follow me.

  "My room, we need to talk."

  "We are talking."

  I turn to look at her. She knows what I'm going to say. "We need to really talk Elle, alone."

  She sighs, nodding her head, then following me to my room. When I shut the door we sit on my bed, facing each other, our legs crossed.

  "Ok, honey. I think it's time we had a heart to heart."

  Elle bites on her bottom lip. I hate the shine that appears in her eyes, but she nods her head.

  "He hurt me, Eve." She sniffles a little. "I went to surprise him while he was at the shop. When I got there I overheard him telling Diane how he fucked some random woman. He fit her in for a quickie before doing her tattoo! I mean, for fucks sake! Who does that shit?"

  I place my hand on her knee as she swipes away the tears that are threatening to fall.

  "I thought we were going somewhere. I know he's not the settling down type, but I had this feeling that we’d connected. Obviously I was wrong."

  "He does care about you." I protest.

  "Not enough to keep his dick out of another woman." She looks up to the ceiling, raking her fingers through her blonde locks. "I just want to belong somewhere, Eve. I know it sounds really pathetic, but I've never been wanted by anyone. Nobody ever wanted me, not even my parents."

  I stay silent, Elle hasn't told me her life story yet. I gathered she was a private person and was happy to wait until she was ready.

  "An hour after I was born, I was placed in care. My mother didn’t even want me for a day, she just gave me away.” She pauses, and I pass her a box of tissues. She takes one, blowing her nose loudly before continuing. “I grew up in a shitty children’s home, eventually moving from foster home to foster home. Even the foster families didn’t want to keep me. They just wanted the paychecks. I was an unwanted burden for everyone. I was beaten nearly every day in my teen years.” She sees the question in my eyes before I can ask it. “No, I was never sexually abused; it was just beatings and psychological abuse. Forever being told I was useless and ugly. Told I wasn’t wanted. I was dressed in unfashionable and threadbare hand me downs, so I was pretty much a loner all through school." Tears stream down her face now. I try and hold my own back. "To this day I'm still a loner. I struggle to bond with people, but as soon as I met you, Eve, I just knew, I felt a connection with you I’ve never felt before. You're my first real friend."

  She smiles but it's full of tears and mine fall freely. I can't hold back anymore after she said that. I really feel for her. I know our friendship was very sudden, but I think it’s because we somehow recognized the broken part of each other. It helped us bond. I can’t imagine how bad my childhood would have been if I hadn't had Teresa and her family. Whilst my mother wouldn’t win any mother of the year awards, at least she’d kept me. Elle had nobody. I scoot over, holding her as she cries. When she's calmed down she looks at me.

  "I want a family Eve. I want to have children, give them what I never had. I didn’t think that I wanted that until I met you, and saw what you had. I'm so jealous of your life right now." She scoffs a little. "Well apart from the evil twin part."

  We both laugh a little at that.

  "Honey, you will always have me in your life."

  "Yeah, I know." She lets out a deep, heavy breath. "For a moment there, I actually thought Ink might be the man to give me that. Obviously not."

  "Elle, I think you need to have a chat with Ink." She shoots me a hard glare. "Hear me out. I spoke to Ink this morning. He’s been miserable since you left. He knows he fucked up.” She’s about to protest but I continue. “I'm not agreeing with what he did. I'm furious at him for what he did, but I think deep down he’s got some demons of his own. You two need to sit down and talk it through."

  She shakes her head at me. "Ink isn’t the settling down type, Eve. The sex was amazing,” she blushes a little at the memory. “But seeing what you have, and realizing it’s what I want, means I need to find someone who can give me that. That's not Ink, I thought for a second it could be, but when I heard what he’d done I knew he’s the wrong man for me."

  We pull apart. I smooth down her hair the same way I do with Elizabeth when she’s upset. "You need to say all this to him babe, he needs to hear it. He needs to talk to you too, tell you what is haunting him, and what he wants from the future."

  She stands up from the bed, straightening herself out. "I need time to think about it. I promise I’ll ring him tomorrow though."

  I stand and smile. "Good."

  We walk out arm in arm, stopping in the bar for a quick drink before she goes. We're still gossiping about Ink when Ellen, one of the old ladies overhears us and wanders over.

  "God that man is delicious, don't you girls tell my old man, but just looking at Ink makes my foo foo clench real hard."

  Elle and I almost choke on our drinks, we’re laughing s
o hard at her comment. I tell Ellen to bugger off so we can gossip. Ellen grins as she walks off to join her old man.

  ***

  I'm sitting on a bench out back of the clubhouse with Teresa when I spot Preacher stomping across the yard, a furious look on his face.

  Oh no, this can't be good. When there's drink around, Preacher can get in a really touchy mood.

  I look at who he has his eyes set on; almost laughing out loud when I see he's headed for our newest member, Justice.

  Justice is minding his own business, flirting with a few of the club women. Most of them are single, daughters of members or their friends, but there's one who’s very much taken. The pretty red head who’s laughing along with the rest of them is non-other than Rose, Preachers old lady.