Yngve, AR - Alien Beach
Page 32
The soldier protested lamely, amazed at how squeaky and unbalanced his voice sounded - he was talking like a teenager again.
"But this could mean something, Teach. If you'd just help me think this through, I might get it out of my head."
Already the soldier saw that the protest was ill-phrased, half admitting that he shouldn't have made the question at all. Why was he doing this?
The teacher smiled his agreement. "If it'll help you, sure. What was your question again?"
"What's one divided by zero?"
"You can't say that."
"But I just said it."
"I mean, you're not allowed to make that question."
"Why?"
"There is no answer to it - the equation is pointless."
"You mean mathematicians have tried to figure out the answer, and failed?"
"No... look at it this way. There is an infinite upon infinite number of possible mathematical statements one can make. A number of them are useful to describe the real world, such as..."
He wrote on the blackboard with his chalk piece:
1 + 1 = 2 (TRUE)
"A very large set of all possible statements are logically false, such as..."
1 + 1 = 3 (FALSE)
"And so you can make false statements, but they're not useful as a tool to understand the world. See? That's why you flunk your tests."
"But I was asking about this special equation: one divided by zero. How do you know this 'statement' is as useless as 'one plus one equals three'?"
"Let's sort this out once and for all. 'One' can stand for just about anything in the real world - say, 'one apple,' 'one electron,' or 'one universe'. It doesn't matter which, as long as it is 'one' something . 'Zero,' on the other hand, can't be used to represent a thing - because it stands for nothing at all. Therefore the setup serves no point. It's a joke on mathematics."
The soldier said: "Suppose there was a use for that kind of setup. If one really needed to describe the relation between... something and nothing in mathematical terms?"
"So you assume this equation will reveal the relation between something and nothing. Let's try to find some answers for..."
1 / 0 = ?
The soldier replied: "I figured there could be several possible answers... for instance, 'infinity' ."
"Aha," the teacher said, "but if you take..."
6 / 3 = 2
"From that you will get..."
2 x 3 = 6
"So if you say the answer is 'infinity,' you would get..."
1 / 0 = infinity
infinity x 0 = 1 (FALSE)
"See? The answer is false. Zero times infinity is still just zero, not one."
"But how do you know that?"
"The question should not be made. Besides, even if your answers to the equation were taken as valid, it would prove nothing."
"Why?"
"Because the 'zero' in the equation cannot correspond to anything in the real world."
"Why shouldn't you be able to use the 'zero' to represent something?"
"It's pointless to talk about non-existence as if it were a thing!"
"But if we can't use the concept of 'non-existent,' then how are we supposed to know what 'existent' means. You can't have 'yes' without 'no,' 'true' without 'false'."
"That's philosophy, not mathematics. I don't teach ontology in my class. Look, I only want to help you - your other grades are not that bad, but - you mustn't sit and dream in class. Just concentrate on the curriculum, and you'll make it into college... make it in life. Let's shake on it. Okay?"
The teacher extended his hand - its palm covered with white chalk-dust - and gave the soldier a suave "let's-be-pals" face. It all happened again, like before... the soldier would shake hands, make his promise and would spend the rest of his life in a downhill slide of wrongful choices, aborted careers and failed relations.
Teach only wanted to help. He was right, he had to be. The soldier moved to shake the teacher's dry, white hand...
He froze. Something was different from the way he remembered the event.
This time around, the teacher he saw was himself a defeated man, the melancholy in his face tinged with bitterness. Disappointment and frustrated dreams oozed from every pore and line of the man's face.
The soldier hadn't seen it so clearly then, only felt a vague doubt. Only now did he realize how deeply this small defeat had wounded him. He stood up from his chair and faced the teacher, whose hand had frozen still.
"Why?" he said out loud. " Why did I let you scare me into thinking I was stupid? Why did I chicken out on this day? I remember it all now. You made me promise - no, that's wrong - I made myself promise never to ask such questions again. What was I so afraid of, that I willingly shut off a part of my own mind?"
"What are you talking about?" said the teacher, voice oddly neutral.
"There was nothing wrong in asking a question, just because the answer wasn't pre-printed in the books! You were afraid of my question, because it forced you to actually think instead of repeating old memories! It's you who didn't make it in life - and you wanted to drag me down with me!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Ancestor - I don't know your real name - it's you who brought me back, isn't it? Thank you for having helped me see. This was the moment in my spacetime continuum you saw, from your vantage-point outside time and space. You saw the promise I showed - but I betrayed it, just for fear of falling. I'm not afraid anymore. I will pursue the unanswered questions to wherever they lead - even if they should lead nowhere."
"Nowhere is ," said the teacher, but his mouth didn't move.
"Teach" had become a ventriloquist's doll.
Someone was operating his speech clumsily: "Energy in direction... to your vector of smaller representation... weak link in the wave function..."
But the words had rhythm, and music.
"A beautiful wave like my own - 'five, six, seven, eight nine ten, I love you' - like the part in my wave function that is bifurcated into the Ancestor continuum - 'some kind of happiness is measured out in miles' - but also goes in other direction difficult to align with direction along the time vector - 'why don't we sing this song all together' - you like me the first Ancestor in the direction of your choice - 'look at me!' - the music plays differently in different directions -"
The music -
The soldier shut his eyes, and opened them.
He was at the beach again, rising from the warm blue-green waves, treading the ground under his long, flat feet. Ann was there and saw him; she was wearing a vest full of pockets, carrying diving equipment in a backpack. Her sun-bleached hair fluttered in the evening breeze, as she walked up to the strange figure that stood in the foaming surf.
She came close enough to touch, and saw what he had become.
"Who are you?" she asked.
"My land-name is -"
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
The musical albums listed below (many still available) served as invaluable inspiration during the work on this novel.
From the story's birth as a detailed synopsis with illustrated sketches in 1991/92, up to the final stages of writing, music helped my brain get up to speed and visualize key scenes.
Music can induce images in the mind: expressions of transcendence, apocalypse... or the plain joy of being alive. I am indeed grateful that music exists.
-A.R. Yngve
February 12, 2005
The Beatles: Yellow Submarine
Various: The Music of COSMOS (from the PBS TV series COSMOS )
Jean-Michel Jarre: Revolutions
The Grid: Evolver
Gustave Holst: The Planets
Modest Mussorgsky: Night on Bald Mountain
NOTE: This 2005 version of ALIEN BEACH is a slightly revised edition of the novel which appeared as a web serial in 1999-2000. The plot and characters are unchanged.
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