Baby Experts 02

by The Midwife’s Glass Slipper

  “You are spooked. You’re afraid I’ll do something you don’t want me to do. So why did you tell me?”

  “You had the right to know. Sagebrush is a small town.”

  “And I could put have two and two together easily if I saw you pregnant and figured out the dates.”

  “Yes,” she admitted, wanting to turn from his probing blue eyes but unable to do so.

  His voice lowered…was gentle yet more intense. “You’re not going to cut me out of the baby’s life. If I’m a dad, I’m going be a dad. Do you understand that, Francesca?”

  She went cold inside from the thought of him wanting any kind of control, and licked her dry lips. “What does that mean?”

  “It means I want to spend time with my son or daughter. I want to have a say in decisions. I want to act like a real parent. I’ve looked forward all my life to being a dad. I’m not going to let the opportunity slip away.”

  Grady came from a large family, a loving family, and she should have realized he’d feel this way.

  “Don’t look so scared, Frannie. I’m not going to try to take custody away from you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

  She didn’t know what she was thinking. No one had ever called her Frannie.

  “I’m not scared,” she returned defensively, squaring her shoulders. “I’m just worried you’ll want to tell me what to do and that’s not going to happen.”

  He eyed her assessingly. “I guess we really don’t know each other, do we? One night on the sofa doesn’t a couple make.”

  “No, it doesn’t. And we’re not a couple.”

  He let a few pounding heartbeats pass before he asked, “When are you due?”

  “February twenty-seventh.”

  “What are you going to do about your practice?”

  “I haven’t figured everything out yet. I’ve only known a short while.”

  He cocked his head. “Did you think about not telling me and moving away from Sagebrush?”

  She was hoping her guilt didn’t show.

  “You did, didn’t you?” he accused. Then calmly he asked, “What made you decide to stay and not run?”

  “I’m not a coward. I have a life here. I’m not going to let any man make me give up what I’m building.”

  He slid his hands into the back pockets of his jeans—as if maybe he wanted to do something else with them—and continued to study her. “So what do you suggest we do?”

  “I’d like you to give me time—the length of my pregnancy—to figure some things out.”

  A line creased his brow and he didn’t seem to like the idea. Yet he asked, “You’ll call me when the baby’s born?”

  She nodded.

  His strong jaw set and his mouth formed a tight line. “I have one condition.”

  “What?”

  “You e-mail me a report every time you go to the doctor just to let me know everything’s okay.”

  For some reason, she didn’t quibble. She didn’t see the condition as manipulation. Grady was asking her to communicate with him and it didn’t have to be in a personal way, just in the form of a report. She could do that.

  “All right,” she agreed. “That won’t be a problem.”

  “Have you been to see a doctor yet?” he asked.

  “Yes, yesterday. Dr. Jared Madison’s my doctor. Every other month, I’ll see his obstetrical nurse practitioner. She’s my roommate, Emily Diaz. When I hit the third trimester, I’ll see him.”

  Grady reached over to his desk and picked up a card from the holder there. He turned it around and jotted something on the back. Then he handed it to her. “My e-mail address is on the front. My cell phone number’s on the back. If you need anything—”

  “I won’t, Grady. Really.”

  “When you go into labor, I want to know.”

  “When I go into labor? Why?”

  “Because I want to be with you. I want to anticipate this baby being born and be there when he or she is. I mean it, Frannie. Don’t deny me that right.”

  Remembering the night they’d spent together—his passion, tenderness and hunger, she assured him, “I won’t,” controlling her voice so it wouldn’t tremble. Then she tucked his card into her purse and turned to leave.

  He followed her to the door.

  After he’d opened it for her, he suggested, “I want you to think about the benefit of a child having two parents rather than one. I know it won’t be easy to do, but we’re smart people. We should be able to figure it out.”

  She’d have six and a half more months to figure this out, thank goodness. She had a feeling she was going to need every day of those six and a half months to decide how she could coparent with Grady without being involved with him. Getting involved when she was actually ready for it wouldn’t be easy. Getting involved in this situation would be sheer lunacy.

  As she said good-bye and left, she realized she liked having a nickname for the first time in her life…and she liked the sound of that nickname on Grady Fitzgerald’s lips.

  Chapter Seven

  Emily was concerned Jared had changed his mind about wanting to be with her at the charity banquet. He’d been quiet ever since he picked her up Saturday evening.

  Now as they stood outside the ballroom, he asked, “Would you like me to check your shawl?”

  “Please,” she replied, not wanting to be encumbered by the wrap at the dinner table.

  She’d begun to shrug it off when she felt Jared’s large hand at her shoulder, helping her remove it. As his fingers brushed against her collarbone, she trembled. She glanced at him over her shoulder. When he gazed into her eyes, they seemed frozen in time. She was sure she saw desire in his eyes, but she wasn’t sure what else.

  “Jared, is something wrong tonight?” she asked softly.

  He let out a long sigh. “You mean besides the fact that you look prettier than I’ve ever seen you?”

  There was frustration in his voice as his eyes ran over the black silk-jersey halter dress with its cranberry trim around the decolletage and hem. She’d worn her hair swept up into a bed of curls, and garnets dangled from delicate gold chain earrings.

  His compliment bathed her with its male appreciation and she didn’t understand the problem.

  Loose curls from her upswept hairdo dangled around her face. He fingered one and wrapped it around his index finger. “When you opened your door to me tonight, I didn’t want to bring you to some charity dinner. I wanted to—”

  “Emily! Jared! We’ve been waiting for you. We snatched one of the tables for four.” Tessa rushed up to them and gave Emily a hug. “It seems like forever since I’ve seen you.”

  Emily hugged her friend back. She missed Tessa’s presence in the house, but she wanted Jared to finish that sentence. She wanted to hear what he felt.

  Tessa’s husband, Vince, gave her a hug, too. In the past month, she’d gotten to know him better and considered him a friend. She introduced him to Jared and the men shook hands.

  “You were the chief of police in Sagebrush for a while, weren’t you?” Jared asked Vince.

  “For a few months. I just started working for an investigative and security firm in Lubbock.”

  Tessa hooked her arm through her husband’s. “We’d better reclaim our table or somebody might steal it.”

  After Jared checked Emily’s shawl, his hand moved to the small of her back. She could feel the imprint of it through the thin fabric. “We’ll talk later,” he mumbled, guiding her into the ballroom.

  Emily saw many faces she recognized. But with Jared’s hand on her back, her mind focused on his hand’s heat and texture and the trill of sparks that skipped down her spine. There was always heat when the two of them were together. What had he been about to say? That he wanted to make love to her? That he would rather have closed the door at her house and spent the night in bed with her? Could she satisfy him? Would his desire last beyond one night?

  At the table, he pulled out her chair for her. When she
sat, he leaned close as he pushed her in. If she turned her head, her cheek might graze his jaw. She took in a deep breath.

  Jared straightened, but she was still so aware of him. The current between them tonight was lightning hot, lightning fast, and as dangerous as lightning.

  Jared took the seat around the corner from Emily. She noticed the way his dark-brown hair waved over his forehead, the way his brow creased as if he was deep in thought. He was wearing a charcoal suit and a red-and-charcoal tie tonight. She saw him in a suit practically every day, but tonight—he seemed bigger than life, more than her boss, more than a friend. Maybe she was just deluding herself, believing he might be falling for her, too.

  “Emily tells me she’s been spending time with your daughters,” Tessa observed, glancing from Emily to Jared as if she could sense the current rippling between them.

  “Yes, she has,” Jared replied. “She’s very good with them.”

  Tessa smiled fondly at Emily. “She’s one of our favorite babysitters.”

  “How old are your children?” Jared asked.

  Emily was grateful he was keeping the conversation going.

  Tessa let Vince answer. “Natalie is fourteen months. Sean is ten months. You should bring the girls over sometime. The four of them would probably have a great play session.”

  Emily watched Jared to see if he was open to the suggestion. To her surprise, he said, “That would be great. Amy and Courtney go to preschool now, but that’s only for three days a week.”

  “What about tomorrow?” Tessa asked. “We can try out our new grill. Are you free?” she asked Emily.

  Emily felt awkward. She didn’t want Jared to feel forced to spend time with her. She wasn’t sure what to say. “Yes, I’m free, but—” She glanced at Jared. “You three have a lot in common with your kids. I don’t want you to feel as if you have to invite me….” She trailed off.

  Tessa looked from Emily to Jared. “I’m not playing matchmaker. I just thought we might all have a good time.”

  Jared stepped into the awkwardness and covered Emily’s hand with his. Tingles swept up her arm. “I enjoy Emily’s company and I’m sure with four kids around we can use her help keeping them on an even keel.”

  A three-piece band had been setting up and as they began playing couples headed to the dance floor.

  Jared asked Emily, “Would you like to dance?”

  “It’s been so long since I’ve been on a dance floor, I don’t know if I remember how.”

  “It’s like riding a bicycle,” he teased, stood and offered her his hand. She took it, rising to her feet. With her hand in Jared’s, she felt…excited but safe. Her breaths quickened as she anticipated being held in his arms once more.

  On the dance floor, they stood in the ballroom dancing position, a good six inches apart. Then he gave her a crooked smile, pulled her a little closer and wrapped his fingers tighter around hers.

  Her breasts against his chest, her cheek against the fabric of his suit, she inhaled his cologne and felt almost dizzy from just being so close.

  After the first verse of the song, Jared asked, “Why would you think I wouldn’t want you to go with me to Tessa and Vince’s?”

  “Do you?” she asked, holding her breath.

  “Yes.” His fingers moved against hers. “But it’s much safer for us to be in a crowd like this, or to be with another couple with kids around.”

  Safer.

  Now his eyes were serious. “I don’t want to hurt you. I told you I don’t want to get involved with anyone again. I never intend to remarry. Once was enough.”

  He was so certain. Her hopes for more than one night, for a committed relationship dissolved. Yet maybe if she told him how she felt…“You and I both came through a divorce, but I guess I feel differently about it. I’d like to have a second chance at finding real happiness.”

  “I’d rather just be content.”

  She couldn’t argue with him about that, but she wanted more than contentment. She wanted to share her life, share her thoughts, share her dreams. But Jared didn’t. He was making himself perfectly clear.

  For a short while, they simply danced. Jared’s firm guidance made it easy, though her heart raced at the slide of his fingers down her back, the pressure of his palm against hers. The expression on his face told her serious passion could develop between them if he let it.

  Would he let it? Would she?

  One song segued into the next and the dance floor became more crowded. Jared brought Emily closer to him. When she looked up, her lips were very near his cheek. The nerve in his jaw worked and she thought she could feel the thumping of his heart. Maybe the sensation was hers pounding even harder.

  “You wanted to know why I was so quiet tonight when I picked you up.” His voice was low…intimate.

  “I wondered if you regretted asking me to come tonight.”

  Leaning back slightly, he studied her, then shook his head. “Your ex-husband must have done a number on you. Any man would be glad to escort you.”

  She felt herself blushing.

  “You’re part of the reason why I was quiet. It’s not because I don’t want to be with you, because I do.”

  “What’s the other part?”

  “My mind’s on a discussion I had with my mother this afternoon.”

  “She’s in rehab now?”

  “Yes. And she’s making progress. But she’s worried. She’s worried she’ll be a burden rather than an asset when she comes home. She’s thinking that maybe after rehab, she should go into an assisted-living facility.”

  “But you don’t think she should.”

  “Only if that’s what she really wants. I think she’s just frustrated with not recovering more quickly, and after another week or so, she’ll be stronger. I also think she’ll be happier if she lives with us. If she can’t take care of the girls, I’ll hire a nanny. But I think it’s better for her to be with us than to be alone in a tiny apartment.”

  “No one wants to be a burden.”

  “I understand that.”

  Emily gazed into his troubled green eyes. “There’s something else going on, isn’t there? This isn’t about just her ability to take care of the girls.”

  He was slow to respond, but finally said, “She doesn’t believe I really want her around. We haven’t had the best relationship over the years.”

  Suspecting she was stepping into very deep water, Emily asked, “Do you want her around?”

  Now he went silent altogether.

  “I shouldn’t have asked. Your family is none of my business.” She knew Jared’s privacy was important to him. She shouldn’t have probed.

  Their bodies were still close, the attraction between them as strong as ever. But Jared’s restraint was palpable and so was his intent. He was not going to get seriously involved with her, definitely not emotionally, and maybe not even physically.

  This time after a sixties’ ballad ended, they went back to the table, the tension between them obvious. The strain between them was such a contrast to the loving devotion between Vince and Tessa. Emily knew that devotion had started in high school. They’d undergone heartache and a long separation until they’d found each other again.

  Emily wondered if she yearned to jump into a relationship with Jared because she was beginning to care for his girls. Maybe she just basically wanted to be a mom.

  But then she looked over at him, their gazes locked, her heart lurched, attraction pulsed between them. She knew her growing feelings for Jared were altogether separate from her affection for his daughters.

  Over dinner, Vince and Jared talked about security problems in businesses. Tessa and Jared spoke in general of their practices. Emily and Jared seemed to have nothing to say to each other. Because he didn’t want to let her in? Because she wanted too much? Could they settle for friendship?

  At the end of the evening, after goodbyes and “see you tomorrow” to Tessa and Vince, Emily and Jared walked to his car. The silence betwee
n them was so strained that she wished she had driven herself.

  Jared tried to make small talk in the car on the way home. “Dinner was good for a group that size.”

  “Yes, it was,” she agreed, although the prime rib had tasted like sawdust in her mouth.

  Taking the cue, she made a stab at small talk, too. “Did Vince tell you they’re building a barn on their property? They want to adopt wild mustangs and gentle them.”

  “Yes, he told me about that. He mentioned Tessa’s father is involved.”

  “At one time, Tessa’s dad and Vince butted heads. Her dad didn’t approve of Vince twenty years ago. It’s nice to see they’re becoming friends now.”

  Jared went quiet again, and she realized she’d probably said the wrong thing. Parents and children reuniting, reconciling, resolving their differences wasn’t something he wanted to talk about.

  Suddenly Emily’s phone rang. It was Francesca. “Hi, what’s up?” Emily asked.

  “I just wanted you to know I’m at the hospital and I’ll be tied up for a few more hours. I didn’t want you to worry. How was dinner?”

  “We’re on our way home.”

  “That didn’t answer my question.”

  “No, I guess it didn’t.”

  “Uh-oh. That bad, huh?”

  “Possibly.”

  “All right. I’ll get the scoop in the morning.”

  “Thanks for letting me know.” Emily closed her phone.

  “A problem?” Jared asked.

  “No. Francesca’s going to be tied up at the hospital for a while. She didn’t want me to worry.”

  “Women are very different from men,” he remarked.

  “How so?”

  “You’ve only known Francesca and Tessa for what? About eight months?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Yet your friends act as if you’ve been friends for years.”

  “We clicked when we met. We seemed to understand each other instantly. Yet we didn’t trust right away. That came slowly.” It had only been this summer that she’d told Francesca and Tessa about her career as a midwife and everything that had happened.

  “Relationships are all about trust, aren’t they?” he mused, and she wondered what he meant by that. It sounded as if trust was an issue for him, too. Because of his marriage? Or more precisely, his divorce? Would he ever tell her about that?