The F It List (Love You Forever Book 6)

by Alexis Winter

  I raise my hand and brush her cheek, tucking a strand of hair back behind her ear. “Get some rest and I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

  “Okay. Thanks again for the weekend.” She scrunches up her face and scratches her head. “Though I feel like ‘thank you’ isn’t good enough.”

  I laugh. “It’s enough.”

  I go to step out the door, but then turn back toward her. My lips are against hers in a flash. She didn’t even see it coming. She falls back against the wall and I step forward, pressing my chest against hers as we kiss. Her lips become softer and more fluid as they move slowly with my own. My tongue dips into her mouth, tasting her mint-flavored gum as her warmth sinks into me. I don’t know what it is about her, but fuck. Every time we touch, it’s like an explosion for me. I don’t want to pull away. I don’t want to go all night without being able to pull her against me. I’ve had one weekend of her and it’s enough to become addicted.

  When we’re both breathless, I pull away and a smile forms on its own as I watch the shock on her face. “Good night, Cora,” I say, walking out and closing the door behind me. As I walk down the hallway, I wonder if that kiss was a mistake, but then I think that maybe it was exactly what she needed in order to see that I’m not spending all this time with her out of pity. I’m not doing anything just because it’s on that list. I’m doing it for her. Because I want her like I’ve never wanted anyone.

  Nine

  Cora

  Letting him walk away is hard. All I want to do is grab his hand and pull him back into my apartment where I can drag him to my bed and keep him prisoner. But I don’t. I need time to think. I need time to sort this out. Grayson and I crossed some lines this weekend—lines I promised myself I wouldn’t cross. But honestly, they were lines I didn’t know existed. I thought that he would never want to be with me in the ways we were together this weekend. Now that we’ve slept together, I have no idea how to just be me again.

  I mean, why did he sleep with me? Was it for the list? I don’t think so. I mean, have an orgasm was on that list and he’d already given me that. Sleeping with Grayson wasn’t on the list, yet he did it anyway. Was it because he was horny and I was the only one there? Or does he have feelings for me? And if he does have feelings for me, then when did they start?

  I know I had plenty of time to bring it up on the ride home, but I was scared. I was afraid he’d just tell me it didn’t mean anything, and I wouldn’t know how to respond to that because I don’t know exactly what it means to me yet.

  I lock the door behind him and go for a shower. With the hot water pouring down over my head, all thoughts stop. All the confusion fades away. I can just go through the motions of my shower without having to kill my brain with all the overthinking I’ve been doing. But the moment I’m done with washing and shaving, the memory of last night’s shower fills my head. Just thinking about it has my skin burning and tingling. I can still feel his strong hands on me. I can still feel his soft lips moving with my own.

  I shake off these thoughts and turn off the water, noticing how badly my hands are shaking from reliving that memory. I wrap a towel around myself and dry off. I replace the towel with my robe and brush out my hair. Then I go to the kitchen to find something for dinner. I end up settling on a salad and a bottle of water that I take to the couch to eat while I watch TV. I watch one episode while I eat, and then shut everything off to go to bed. Lying in my dark bedroom all alone, my head fills with thoughts of him. I look at the clock and see that it’s going on 10 p.m. I take a deep breath to try to settle my mind, but it doesn’t work. I miss having him next to me. I miss feeling his warmth. I miss the feeling of being held to his chest.

  My phone dings and I pick it up to see a text from Grayson.

  Grayson: Are you up? I’m at your front door.

  I place the phone on the table and rush to the door. I pull it open and my eyes meet his. He looks at me and he almost looks lost. His eyes are hooded and darker than usual. His jaw is set, sharp and angular. His body is tensed like he’s trying to hold himself back.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask, breathless.

  “I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he says no louder than a whisper.

  “I can’t stop thinking about you either,” I confess.

  In the next second, he’s charging toward me. His lips find mine as he picks me up against him. My legs wrap around his hips and my arms lock around his neck. I kiss him like he’s the air I’ve been deprived of. He closes the door and I hear the soft click of the lock before he turns and walks us back into my bedroom.

  He kicks off his shoes before he lays me down in bed, covering my body with his, our kiss never breaking. I push his shirt up his chest and he reaches behind him to tug it off. His lips are right back on mine. His hand comes between us and I feel him tug open my robe. It’s splayed out on either side of me, revealing my body to him. His lips leave mine, kissing slowly down my jaw and neck, lighting little fires everywhere he kisses. His hot chest feels good pressing against my bare skin. His weight is like heaven as his body molds to mine. Suddenly, I don’t have to think anymore. All I have to do is just be with him, letting whatever comes naturally happen.

  When I push his basketball shorts down his hips, he springs free, rock hard and ready. I wrap my hand around him, stroking him up and down teasingly. He catches my hand and pulls it away as he positions himself where I want him most. He pushes forward, filling me with one roll of his hips. I suck in a loud breath, relieved by our connection.

  As he drills into me, his hands tangle in my hair as he pulls my mouth back to his. “You’re so fucking perfect, Cora,” he whispers against my lips. “You feel so good,” he says, his words cutting off my soft moan.

  Hearing that sound escape his lips, and knowing it’s because of me, has my body burning hot and tingling from head to toe. When my muscles harden, my release starts to build. He rolls his hips and hits that perfect spot inside of me that has only recently been found. And just like that, I’m shattering around him. My labored breaths, moans, and whimpers have him doubling his pace. The next thing I know, he’s releasing every last drop onto my stomach with a growl.

  He falls to my side, panting and just as breathless as I am. I grab a tissue off the bedside table and go to wipe up the mess on my stomach, but he takes it from me and does it himself. He tosses it into a nearby trash can before lying back at my side.

  I almost expect him to get up and leave now like Jimmy would always do, but instead, he pulls me against him and presses a soft kiss to my shoulder. “I don’t know what we’re doing,” he says softly, his breath blowing across my cheek.

  “What do you want to do?” I ask, feeling like he’s just as lost and confused as I am.

  He shrugs. “What do you want to do?”

  There it is. The question I’ve been asking myself since I woke up this morning. I take a deep breath and roll over to face him. I place my hand on his jaw and his eyes find mine in the darkness of my bedroom. “I don’t know. I’m so confused by all of this.”

  His eyes fall from mine, down to my lips.

  “I know that I don’t think I’m ready to jump back into another relationship right now,” I tell him. “But I also know that I don’t want to stop doing what we’re doing.”

  His eyes move back up to lock on mine. “So you don’t want to stop, either?”

  I shake my head as a small smile stretches across my lips.

  “So we keep doing what we’re doing then. Nobody has to know. And when we know more, we’ll figure it out then. Sound good?”

  I nod. “Sounds good,” I agree.

  He pulls me closer and I settle in, finally feeling like I can rest. My eyes flutter closed and the next thing I know, I’m out to the world, feeling safe and loved in his arms.

  When my alarm goes off at 6 a.m., I find his side of the bed empty and cold. I turn off the alarm and sit up. Grabbing my phone, I find one unread text.

  Grayson: Sorry I had t
o leave, but you were still sleeping. Hope you slept well. I’ll see you in a few hours.

  I smile at the text and push myself out of bed to get ready for work.

  Grayson and I meet in the break room for coffee and donuts. Then we connect again for lunch as we both eat a sandwich off the cart. We keep our talk light and friendly, not mentioning all the time we’ve spent together after work or on the weekends. But he does bring up the gym and my training.

  “I talked to my buddy Jeff. He’s cool with letting us come into the gym this evening. He’s dropping the key off at my place today. What time are you wanting to go?”

  I pop a chip into my mouth and chew it slowly. “I don’t know. What time does the gym close?”

  “Five, I think. It’s a smaller gym—not one of those key card places that lets people come and go as they please. He gives boxing lessons and they offer a few classes.”

  “Let’s go around 7 p.m.?”

  He nods. “All right, 7 p.m. it is.”

  He slides the key into the door and it opens easily. He quickly puts in the code and allows me to walk in. As I look around the big room, he locks the door and leads me to the center of the room where a bunch of mats are laid out. He drops his bag on the floor.

  “All right, let’s stretch out and warm up,” he says, rolling his neck to crack it.

  I step on the mat and sit down across from him. I place my feet against his and reach forward until he grabs my hands. Then we take turns pulling each other forward to stretch. After that, we do some toe touches and stretch our legs and arms, then he takes me to the treadmill. I hop on and he takes the one next to me. We both put in our earbuds and start the machines. I start slowly and gain speed, but he starts fast and stays there. It makes me wonder how far he usually runs and how often, but I don’t ask since we both have our own music going in our ears.

  I distract myself from the pain by watching him. He doesn’t look to be having as much trouble as I am. He hasn’t even broken a sweat yet, and already, I’m dripping. I feel like I’m huffing and puffing, unable to take in enough oxygen, and he’s running like a pro. As he runs, his biceps flex and his jaw ticks. He looks sexy as hell and just watching him has my body breaking out in goosebumps. I watch his long stride and the way his arms move smoothly forward and then back. I watch the way his chest slowly rises and falls, and the way his tongue comes out to wet his lips. Watching him is definitely a distraction, but now I’m distracted for a whole different reason. I’m no longer comparing my running skills to his. Now I’m just thinking about pulling him against me and feeling him slide deep inside.

  Thinking about how he feels when he enters me, I trip over my own feet. As I’m falling, I grab ahold of the handles on the treadmill and manage to keep myself up, but Grayson is fast. He’s already stopped his machine and he hits some kind of emergency button on mine, stopping it so I can get myself upright.

  “Are you okay?” he asks when I get to my feet. He takes my wrist in his hand and pulls me off the treadmill.

  I nod, breathless as I sit on the end of the machine. “I’m fine. Just tripped over my own feet. Not very graceful.”

  He cracks a smile but doesn’t laugh. He peeks at the screen on the machine. “Well, you ran a mile and a half. That’s not bad for your first day.”

  “I can go further,” I say around my labored breathing.

  He waves his hand. “Not today. Let’s take it slow so you don’t overdo it.” He looks around. “You want to do anything else while we’re here? Some strength training?”

  I shrug as I stand up and walk around the gym to check out the machines. I sit on the ab machine, set the weight, and start. I watch Grayson as he takes me in for a moment, then he goes over to two heavy ropes lying on the floor. He places his earbuds in his ears, then picks them up and starts slapping them off the floor. The way his muscles flex as he does this task makes my tingles return.

  I do a few sets on the machine I’m on, but then decide that I’ve had enough of working out and not enough of him. I walk over and stand behind him, watching. Out of nowhere, he drops the ropes, wipes the sweat from his forehead, and turns around. He stops abruptly when he finds me standing behind him. A look of confusion covers his face, but then I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his mouth to mine. Suddenly, he knows exactly what I want to do next.

  He pulls me closer to him, his chest pressing against mine. Then his hands find my thighs and he picks me up against him. My legs wrap around his hips as he carries me somewhere. There’s some shifting, and the next thing I know, he’s laying me down. I quickly open my eyes to see that he’s brought me to the center of the mats. This must be where they train and practice when the ring is in use. My eyes flutter closed when his teeth scrape across my neck.

  “I’ve been waiting for this all day,” he says as his hands push my yoga pants down my hips. “Ever since I left you naked in bed this morning.” He yanks the pants down and my shoes come off with them. The next thing I know, his pants are lowered and he’s burying himself in me.

  I let out a moan at the moment of contact and wrap my arms around him again to keep him close. His mouth finds mine and he kisses me hard and deep as his body moves in and out of mine. His hand tightens on my hip, pulling me into his thrusts. Our breathing rises and becomes heavy. We both have moans and whimpers leaving our lips. When he rocks his hips against me and hits that magical spot inside me, I see stars. My whole body tenses, rock hard, and the tingles seem to come alive—becoming one with every single nerve ending. Coldness spreads through my bones and they freeze until they also erupt in tingles. I ride out my orgasm, and just as mine ends, his begins. He lets out a deep moan as he empties himself into me with jerky movements.

  He collapses on top of me. “Fuck, Cora,” he breathes out, pressing a kiss to my jaw.

  I hug him close as I wait for my breathing and heart to regulate. Finally, when we’ve both found our bodies again, he lifts himself off of me.

  “I hope there aren’t cameras in here,” he laughs out.

  I giggle and think, Hey, look at me! Went from not ever having an orgasm to making amateur porn. The thought makes me giggle, but he doesn’t ask why. I pull my pants back on and sit up to replace my shoes. He holds out his hand to help me up, and I take it. He pulls me upward so fast that I lose my footing and fall into his arms.

  He catches me with a smirk, and since we’re nose to nose, he leans in, pressing a kiss to my lips. But this isn’t the same kind of kiss as before. This is soft and slow and teasing on so many levels. When the kiss ends, he pulls away. “Let’s get out of here and get cleaned up.”

  Ten

  Grayson

  I grab my bag off the floor by the door and let her out before setting the alarm. I quickly exit behind her and lock the door from the outside before dropping the keys into my bag and taking her hand to lead her over to my awaiting car. I open the trunk and put my bag inside, then open her door and allow her to slide in. I rush around the car to get behind the wheel, and she’s quiet as we drive over to her place. I wonder if she’s still overthinking what it is we’re doing, or if maybe she’s just tired from the gym. I pull into the parking lot and shift the car into park. We both get out and I grab my bag as we make our way up to her apartment.

  Inside, I pull her against me again and our lips meet. Then I carry her into the bathroom. She’s pulling off clothes and so am I as I reach into the shower and get the water started. Then we both step in and I get to watch as the water runs over her perky breasts. I pour some shampoo into my hand and massage it into her hair. As I do that, she lathers up my body with soap, taking extra time to stroke me up and down and bring my body back to life.

  After we’re both clean, we wrap ourselves up in towels and go to the bedroom, where we remain the rest of the night.

  I hate waking up early and leaving her here alone, but I have to get ready for work. I brush the hair off her face and gently leave a peck on her forehead before grabbing my things and walking ou
t of her apartment. On my way home, I stop at my regular gym and get my workout in. I spend an hour doing cardio and strength training, then cool off with a jog. It’s a little after 5 a.m. when I get home and take a shower.

  I dress for work in my regular black dress pants and white polo shirt. I pull on my shoes and belt, then go for some breakfast. In the fridge, I find some yogurt and fruit. I stir the yogurt before setting it aside. I cut up a couple strawberries, add some grapes and blueberries, then make a couple pieces of whole wheat toast. I take everything to the living room to sit on the couch and eat while I catch up on the news.

  I eat and drink my coffee before gathering up my things and heading for the office. It’s still early when I arrive, and there aren’t many people here. Mostly just the slacker guys who didn’t finish their work from yesterday, so they came in early today. They’re hanging out in the break room on my floor when I walk in to make some coffee.

  “Morning, guys,” I say, heading toward the coffee pot.

  “Hey, what’s up?” Brody asks, shoving the rest of his breakfast burrito into his mouth.

  I shrug as I focus on pouring the coffee grounds into the filter. “Not much.”

  “Hey, did you guys hear that the sexy little blonde from downstairs was left at the altar a few weeks ago? What’s her name? Carol? Coraline?” Brad says.

  “Cora,” I say.

  “Yeah, that’s it. Cora.” I turn around in time to see him pointing at me. “What’s the scoop on her?”

  “I don’t know, but she’s pretty hot. She must be crazy,” Brody says.

  “No,” Brad says, shaking his head. “I mean, the few times I’ve talked to her, she seemed pretty cool. Not crazy at all,” Brad argues. “And even if she is a little crazy, I can handle that. Long enough to get what I want out of her anyway,” he laughs out and Brody joins in.