The F It List (Love You Forever Book 6)

by Alexis Winter

  “Really good or really, really bad?” I ask, following after him.

  “Yep, that’s it,” he replies, taking his seat on the couch.

  I sit at his side and cut off a piece of chicken. I take a bite with a little rice, and the flavor floods my mouth. The chicken is moist and tender with delicious seasoning. The whole thing seems to melt in my mouth. “Save this recipe,” I say, motioning toward the plate with my fork.

  He’s chewing, but he tries to smile as he nods in agreement. We both eat our dinner and watch an episode of some home makeover show, then we cuddle up on the couch to take a little break before getting back to work on the bedroom. He’s leaned back with his feet kicked up on the table. His right arm is around me, holding me to his side as we both stare off at the TV screen.

  “So, did I hear you say something to Harley about Vegas?”

  I smile and look up at him. “Or Hawaii. What do you think?”

  “A beach wedding?” He looks at me. “Sounds pretty good to me, plus we can escape the impending cold winter weather.”

  My eyes stretch wide. “Oh,” I say, trying to wrap my head around what he’s suggesting.

  “Oh,” he repeats.

  “I just didn’t realize you wanted to do it that soon.”

  He shrugs. “I mean, if you want to wait, I’ll wait. But I don’t need to wait. I know what I want, and that’s not changing.”

  I look over at him and his blue eyes are sparkling even in my dimly-lit apartment, and I can’t help but smile. “I know what I want too.”

  “Hawaii?”

  I nod once. “Hawaii,” I agree.

  He immediately gets up and grabs his laptop, carrying it back to the couch. He sits back at my side and opens it, then does a Google search for the best resorts in Hawaii. After checking out several different places, we finally settle on one. The resort seems to be a fan favorite. It’s on the beach and it has a bar, restaurant, and spa.

  “How many people are we planning on?” he asks.

  I shrug. “I don’t know. With Jimmy, I’d planned for about 300, but I really don’t want to pay for that many people. Plus that wasn’t very personal. Really, the only people I want there are you, me, Harley, and Foster.”

  “What about your parents?”

  I wave my hand through the air. “My parents are . . . how do I put it? Free spirits.”

  He frowns. “What does that mean?”

  “It means that they both retired and went on to live out their dream of traveling the world. Who knows where they are right now? I get a postcard in the mail every month or so. They’re probably in the middle of the ocean right now, enjoying a couples’ cruise.”

  “So we’ll just send them pictures?”

  I nod and smile. “What about your parents?”

  “We’ll send them pictures too. We don’t speak much, and I know they won’t have the money for a trip like that. I guess I’ll invite Chuck though . . . and his new girlfriend, Tiffany.”

  “Let’s pick a date.”

  He pulls up the calendar and we flip through November and December, stopping on January. We end up picking January 16th of next year. That’ll give us just enough time to find our wedding bands and clothes. We reserve the honeymoon suite along with two more rooms for our guests, then put the laptop away to go back to working in the bedroom. We finish up around 10 p.m. All of his clothing is now put away, and everything I’m getting rid of is bagged up and waiting by the door. We finally get to slip into bed, where he holds me close until I drift off.

  November

  * * *

  “Yes, I’m at the store now. I’ll get the marshmallows for your yams and we’ll be right there,” I tell Harley over the phone as I’m racing through the aisles of the grocery store.

  “Thank you. I don’t know how I could forget them. This is my first Thanksgiving dinner and I’m already blowing it,” she says.

  I smile. “You’re not blowing it. You just have a lot on your mind with the baby and the house and the shelter, plus you’re still working. Just sit down and take a breather. I’d say have a glass of wine, but you know . . .”

  She laughs. “See you soon.”

  I slide the phone into my coat pocket and turn down the aisle that holds the marshmallows. I stop directly in front of them and grab a bag, then turn to rush back to the register, but walk straight into someone. “Whoa, I’m so sorry—” the words fall from my lips as I look up and find that I’m face-to-face with Jimmy.

  “Hey, where’s the fire?” he asks, his hands locking around my biceps to steady me.

  “Sorry, I’m just in a hurry. We’re going to Harley’s for Thanksgiving and she’s having a meltdown because she forgot the marshmallows for her yams.”

  He laughs. “That sounds like Harley.”

  “It’s even worse now that she’s pregnant.”

  His brows draw together. “She’s pregnant?”

  “Yep.”

  “With a baby?”

  I laugh. “Doesn’t sound like the Harley you knew, right? And she’s married.”

  His brows rise in surprise this time. “Damn, guess I’ve missed a lot.”

  The awkwardness sets in now and I give a silent nod. I notice his eyes drop down to the bag of marshmallows in my left hand that I’m holding to my chest.

  “You’re . . . engaged?”

  “Oh,” I breathe out. I hold out my hand and see that he wasn’t looking at the marshmallows, but rather the big rock on my finger. “Yeah, we’re making it official in January. Hawaii.”

  He tilts his head to the side. “That doesn’t sound like you. I remember when . . .” His words drop off. “I remember you were always a fan of a more traditional wedding.”

  I nod. “Yeah, well, you kind of ruined that for me.” I shrug. “So we’re doing things a little differently.”

  He presses his lips together and his eyes fall down to the floor between us. “Listen, Cora . . .” he starts, but I stop him.

  “Whatever you feel you need to say, you really don’t. Okay? I’m fine. I’m really, really fine. Great, actually. I know it was hard to see it in the beginning, but looking back, you walking out that day was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. I found Grayson—a friend who turned into so much more, and I couldn’t imagine my life right now without him. So you’re off the hook, Jimmy. I no longer love you. I no longer hate you. You’re just a person from my past. So don’t feel guilty or anything. Go on and live your life.” I offer up a smile, hoping to reassure him.

  He forces a smile. “I’m glad you’re good. I really am. You deserve it after what I put you through.”

  I frown. “That doesn’t sound like the Jimmy I know.”

  He lets out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, that Jimmy wouldn’t have lived long if this Jimmy didn’t take over. I’m sober now. I’m in a 12-step program. I have a sponsor and everything.”

  “Good for you,” I say and actually mean it.

  “Anyway, one of those steps is making amends, and well, I owe you an apology, so if you can just let me say what I need to say, I’ll let you walk out of here in a minute.”

  I nod, urging him on.

  “Back then, I was a mess. You knew me. I was a functioning alcoholic. I wasn’t happy with my life, my job, my friends. Nothing was good enough, and instead of doing something about it, I just pushed it all down with alcohol. I used you. I misled you. You were a good person and you loved me even when I didn’t deserve it. I wish I could’ve been the guy I am now back then. Not only for myself, but for you too. I wish I could’ve been the guy you deserved. I just kept thinking that if I let you plan the wedding, then by the time it came around, I’d be ready. But I wasn’t. All I could see when I looked at my future was not only ruining my life, but yours too. I know you probably won’t believe this, but that day, I left for you. I knew you’d never walk away, and I knew I was no good for you. I wasn’t good for anyone. I just . . . had to get away before I took you down with me. After that, I went on a
bender for a week straight. I knew I fucked everything up, which only made me drink more. The night I ran into you guys at the bar, it was one of the worst nights of my life. I got hammered, came after you guys, got thrown out, and then I was arrested for public intoxication while attempting to walk home. That was what it took to get me into a program.”

  “Wow,” I say, not knowing what else to say.

  He nods. “I know. I’m a mess, but I’m working on myself. Anyway, I just thought I owed you an explanation, plus I wanted to tell you how sorry I was in person, so it’s great that we ran into each other. And I’m glad you’re so happy and getting everything you always wanted. You deserve it.”

  I smile. “Thank you, Jimmy.”

  He nods and returns the smile. “Anyway, I guess you should get those marshmallows over to Harley before she has a complete meltdown.”

  “Oh yeah,” I say, looking at the bag in my hand. “It was good seeing you.”

  “You too.”

  “Take care of yourself,” I say, stepping around him.

  “You too,” he says again, spinning around to watch me walk away.

  I take a deep breath the moment I’m away from him. That was strange, I think as I’m paying for the marshmallows. I make it back out to the car and Grayson is sitting in the driver’s seat.

  “They busy?” he asks, referring to the amount of time I was in the store while he was on a call.

  “They are, but that’s not what took me so long. I ran into Jimmy.”

  He looks over at me, eyes moving up and down to make sure I’m okay.

  “It’s fine. We talked. He’s sober and in a program. He wanted to apologize and explain.”

  “Explain what?”

  “Why he left the way he did. He said he did it for me.”

  “And you believe him?”

  I do, but I shrug. “It doesn’t really matter anymore, because I have everything I’ve ever wanted with you.”

  That makes him smile and that ends the discussion. Pretty soon, we’re pulling into the driveway behind Harley’s Jeep. Grayson puts it in park and we both climb out, making our way to the door. As we’re coming up the steps, the door swings open and a very pregnant Harley greets us, but not with a warm hug or smile. No . . . she’s on a mission.

  “Thank God!” she says, ripping the marshmallows out of my hand and rushing to the kitchen to add the topping.

  I laugh and follow her in. Foster is by the front door. “Thank you for picking those up, and please excuse Harley. She’s a bit . . . flustered today,” he says with a smile.

  “It’s no problem,” I say, hugging him quickly before going to help Harley in the kitchen. When I walk in, she’s pouring the bag over the yams.

  “You need help?”

  “I need more than help. I need a vacation after this day. Did you know that in order to cook a turkey the right amount of time, you have to get up at the butt crack of dawn?”

  “I did not,” I say, grabbing a raisin and popping it into my mouth. She reaches over and smacks my hand.

  “Don’t eat that! It’s for the stuffing!”

  I roll my eyes. “Since when are you into all this cooking stuff?”

  She shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s weird, right?” She looks back at me as she goes to put the pan of yams in the oven. “I just had this urge to cook this big dinner for Thanksgiving.”

  I laugh and shake my head. “Must be the hormones.”

  Her eyes are wide as she nods her head. “They fuck you up. Like, I suddenly can’t poop anymore without having to drink this nasty liquid. I want sex all the time, despite my appearance. You’d think being this fat would be a big turnoff, but nope, I can’t get enough.”

  I laugh. “You’re not fat; you’re pregnant. How’s Foster handling all the changes?”

  “Really well, actually. He loves that I want sex all the time. He wants it just as much as I do.”

  I nod. “So it’s probably fair to say you two never get anything accomplished?” I giggle.

  She rolls her eyes. “We get things done. Not a lot of things. Well, mostly one thing,” she laughs out. “Speaking of pregnancy,” she glances over her shoulder to make sure we’re still alone, “did you ever take a test?”

  I can’t hold back any longer, “Oh yeah, I completely forgot to tell you. I did and it was positive.” I say it so nonchalantly that I can tell the words don’t resonate with her immediately.

  “Wait . . . WHAT?” she practically screams. Both guys come running in and I can’t help but double over in laughter.

  “What happened?” Foster asks, running over to Harley, “Are you in labor?”

  I step next to Grayson and place a hand over the growing belly I’ve hidden under oversize sweaters. “We’re having a baby,” I say as tears fall from Harley’s face.

  She lunges at me and pulls me in for the tightest hug as she sobs. “I hate you so much, you jerk. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? How could you tell me like that?” She play-slaps me as she whips the tears away from her face.

  “I know. I’m sorry, Harley. You have NO idea how hard it was to keep it from you guys. I wanted to tell you earlier, but Grayson wanted to propose first.”

  “Congrats, man!” Foster says as the guys slap each other on the back.

  “I can’t believe we’re pregnant together! Oh my God, our babies will be best of friends! They’re going to marry each other!” Harley is attempting to jump up and down with excitement as Foster tries to calm her down.

  “Okay, let’s just focus on us cooking up some healthy babies first,” I say as I laugh and Harley pulls me in for another long hug.

  Twenty-Two

  Grayson

  December

  * * *

  “Are you sure you have everything?” Cora asks me over the phone. She’s at the grocery store picking up some last-minute items for the Christmas dinner I’m at home preparing. After Harley and Foster hosted Thanksgiving, I suggested we do Christmas here. Harley was more than happy to hear that she wouldn’t have to do another big dinner anytime soon.

  “Yes, that’s it,” I reply, coming to a stop in the kitchen.

  “Okay, I’ll be home soon,” Cora says. “Love you.”

  “I love you too. See ya soon.” I hang up the phone and get back to work on preparing the ham. I wrap it in foil and toss it into the oven. Once that’s done, I get to peeling the eggs. Cora walks in just as I’m placing the deviled eggs in the fridge. She drops an armful of grocery bags onto the table.

  “That place was crazy,” she says, breathing heavy as she takes off her coat.

  I laugh and lean in for a kiss. “Thank you.”

  “This meal better be worth that. I nearly got into a fight over the last can of cranberry sauce!”

  I laugh. “Well, I’m glad you didn’t.”

  “No, I picked up a can of pumpkin pie filling and threw it on her foot. When she bent down to hold her toes, I took off running with the cranberry can.”

  I laugh. “You did not!”

  “I swear. I hope she didn’t follow me home. If she did, you’re dealing with that crazy-ass woman. She was twice my size. She could kill me if she wanted to.”

  I laugh and shake my head. “Well, thank you for risking your life.”

  She shrugs. “All in a day’s work.”

  Harley and Foster make it over just as I’m pulling the ham out of the oven and placing everything else on the table.

  “Something smells delicious,” Harley says, waddling into the kitchen, letting her nose lead her.

  “Yay! Hopefully it tastes just as good,” I say, giving her a hug then shaking Foster’s hand. Harley wastes no time going to the table and taking a seat.

  “Come on, we’ll talk while we eat. I’m starving,” she says, waving us over. We laugh but go to take our seats. While we eat, we talk about their house and how it’s coming along. We talk about the new shelter and all the things it will offer, then we talk about our wedding and how the days are flying b
y.

  Dinner goes smoothly, and it was worth all the work I put into it. Everything turned out perfectly. After dinner, we all move into the living room to exchange gifts. We’d put a $50 limit on the gifts and we drew names to play Secret Santa. I got Harley’s name, so I got her one of my favorite cookbooks. I figured it would be a good gift since at Thanksgiving she said she got all her recipes online. Foster drew my name, and he gave me a whiskey glass set and decanter. Cora got Foster and she got him a bunch of baby items—things like a How to Be a Dad book, burp clothes to protect his fancy suits and shirts, and nose plugs for when he has to change dirty diapers. And Harley got Cora. She gave her a sexy bra and panty set for the honeymoon with a note about how it would showcase her belly. I’m more than excited to see her in it. Plus, with her pregnancy hormones, it’s like she can’t get enough lately.

  Those of us who can drink—in other words, the guys—have some wine and listen to Christmas music while we pick at the leftover dinner, talk, and laugh. Harley gets pretty tired around 9 p.m. and they leave for the night. Finally, I can give Cora her present. I pull it out of its hiding spot and turn toward her.

  She smiles. “I thought we agreed not to do gifts this year so we can put more money into the Hawaii trip?”

  “It didn’t cost much,” I say, insisting she take it.

  She accepts it then sits on the edge of the couch next to me where I watch her slowly unwrap it. She opens the box and pulls out the plaque. It’s wooden with an engraved gold plate on top. It states the marathon name and date and includes her name and how she placed.

  She gasps. “What’s this?”

  “I thought it would be nice to commemorate your first marathon. You know, since this whole thing started with that list.”

  “Did you have this made?”

  I nod. “There was a booth the day of the marathon. They were taking orders for them—just a way to make a little extra money for the cause, I’m sure. But it took several months to make and ship. It came in a few weeks ago and I saved it for Christmas. I just thought it would be nice to show off all your hard work.”