by Candis Terry
“It’s not unusual . . .”
“Oh, Tom, don’t you have somewhere else to sing?”
“He does, but he likes it here with you.”
Kelly laughed. “Mom? I could really use a little of that cold air you bring with you.”
“Oh. Sorry. Here you go.”
Though Kelly couldn’t see her mother, she totally felt the rush of icy air lift from the backseat and swirl through the interior of the car. “Ahhhhhh.” She leaned her head back on the headrest. “Thanks.”
“You really did do a tremendous job on that outfit.”
“Kate would probably say I need silver platform Louboutins instead of the pink boots.”
“Nonsense. Kate doesn’t know what she’s talking about anymore. Have you seen what she wears now? Tennis shoes and jeans. Every day.”
Kelly chuckled. “I’ve even seen her in a pair of stretch pants and a stained T-shirt.”
“Better alert the media.”
They both chuckled.
“She’s going to be all right, just so you know.”
“Kate? Yeah. She’s really happy. That’s all that matters.”
“Not Kate, honey. Though she’s going to be just fine, too. I meant the little girl you just visited.”
Kelly swung around in her seat. “Charity?”
“The one with all those golden curls.”
“Yes. That’s her. How do you know?” She couldn’t see her mother, but she could feel her energy, and that’s where Kelly focused her gaze.
“I may get into the doghouse once in a while, but I know who to sweeten up when I need something.”
“Isn’t that against the rules?”
“Of course.” Her mother tsked. “You’d think they’d cut you some slack after . . . you know. But noooooo.”
“So really? Charity is going to be okay?”
“She’s got a bit of a rough road ahead, but she’s going to make it.”
Kelly felt a rush of relief push from her lungs. “Oh. I am so glad to hear that.”
“You did a great job in there, daughter.”
“Thanks. I really don’t know what I’m doing yet. I probably should have waited for the rest of the clowns, but I just had this energy racing around inside me, and I needed to come here.”
“As long as you follow your heart, you’re going to do just fine.”
“I haven’t done such a good job so far.”
“You’ve done an amazing job. Sometimes when your path in life takes a different direction, the best thing you can do is just hang on for the ride.”
Kelly felt a whisper of cool air brush past her cheek.
“Your daddy and I have always been very proud of you.”
“You have?”
“Always. But we would have been just as proud if you’d decided to push the cash register keys at the Gas and Grub. You’re our daughter.”
Kelly felt a little hum in her heart. “It’s really nice, you know? To be able to talk with you like this.”
“Now that I think on it,” her mother said, “We really never did do much talking when you were younger.”
“I tried.” Kelly sighed. “And I gave up.”
“I’m sorry about that. I really didn’t know. I was—”
“Too busy,” Kelly said.
“Yeah.”
“I’m going to vow that if I ever have kids I’m going to treat them all equal.”
“No, you won’t,” her mother said. “But you will love them all equal. Everyone is different, honey. You can’t treat one child the same as another, anymore than you could have prepared for one court case against another. Everyone is unique. Kate? She was a handful from the moment she took her first bawling breath. She was always getting into something. Always pushing my buttons farther than they needed to go. I could control it when she was little, but then she grew up and got her own opinion. We were too much alike, I think.”
“Seriously?” Kelly laughed. “You think?”
“Now your brother, he caused us even more worry. But he was so darned charming he could talk his way out of a one-way trip to trouble.”
“He still can.”
“Yeah, but Emma’s on to him. She’s a smart cookie. I think his BS-ing days are over.” Her mother sighed. “And you . . .”
Kelly didn’t know if she wanted to hear what her parents had thought about her.
“You were quiet. You never got into any trouble. Straight A’s and no backtalk. Unfortunately, you were so easy to raise we often took that for granted.”
“So you’re saying I should have been more of a rebel?”
“Oh, honey, no. You are perfect just the way you are.”
Kelly’s throat tightened. “I’m far from it.”
“If you’re still talking about that murder case, let it go. They don’t come up with phrases like What goes around comes around for nothing.”
“Does that mean Andrew Colson will get what he deserves?”
“Well, I can’t tell you the details. But I do believe when Karma bites him in the ass, she’s going to have the teeth of a piranha. Now . . .”
A cool gust of air spun around the front seat of the car.
“Put this jalopy in gear,” her mother said, “and go have yourself some fun.”
Kelly had never been one to wish ill-will on anyone, but sometimes things changed. Right now she didn’t have time to focus on anything except meeting James at the lodge house after he got off work.
Maybe she’d meet him at the door in something skimpy.
Or maybe nothing at all.
“I’m really sorry about this.” James shoved his hands in the pockets of his uniform pants as he stood in the entryway of Dean Silverthorne’s grandiose home apologizing to the woman who’d stolen his heart. He’d known better than to let it happen, but he hadn’t been able to stop it. Situations like the one that had popped up in the past half-hour were the perfect reason he needed to stay unattached. His life was just too fucked-up. What woman in her right mind would want to be a part of constant chaos?
The tiny little shorts and midriff top she wore weren’t making it any easier. All he really wanted to do was touch every part of her luscious body and make love to her until they were both blind. Not go run all over town and hunt down his missing little brother.
“Don’t apologize,” Kelly said through those full lips that always tasted as sweet as honey. “I completely understand.”
Her hand came up and stroked his cheek, and he could tell by the look in those amazing eyes of hers that she really did understand. But that still didn’t make it any better.
“When did he go missing?” she asked.
“Rocky called me about half an hour ago.”
“You shouldn’t have come all the way out here just to tell me.”
“Maybe.” His chest tightened. “I just needed to see you.”
She smiled. Rose up to her toes and gave him a quick kiss. “I know you’re in a hurry, but can you wait here for just a minute?”
“Sure.”
“I’ll be right back.” She turned and jogged up the stairs.
In his mind—which seemed to be focused on her day and night—Kelly Silverthorne was breathtaking to watch coming toward him. Watching her walk away completely stole his breath.
He heard her shuffling around upstairs in the guest room she’d been using while housesitting, and then he heard a door close. Before he could catch his breath, she was back, in a pair of jeans and a simple cotton shirt.
“Okay, let’s go,” she said, tucking the strap of her shiny pink purse over her shoulder.
“Where are you going?”
“With you.”
“Why?”
One small hand slid to her curvy hip. “You know why.”
“Uh-uh.” Even while his heart flipped upside down he slowly shook his head. “Tell me.”
For a moment she hesitated. Then she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. She smelled sweet and cle
an like wildflowers after a cool rain.
“Because I care about you. And I think you’ve been going through all this alone for long enough.” She gave him a slow kiss. “Now if you really don’t want me—”
“I want you.” And there lay his entire problem.
He wanted her.
So much so that he’d gotten to the point at which he couldn’t think about anything except her. He’d been ignoring his responsibilities, pushing everything else aside because he wanted to spend every waking—and sleeping—moment with her. It wasn’t about the sex, although that was amazing. It was more. The way she made him feel. The calm she brought to his troubled soul. The warmth. The laughter.
Before her, he’d been content with some superficial one-on-one with a pretty girl. But it wouldn’t take long before they’d grow bored with his lack of commitment and they’d move on. So would he.
With Kelly it was different.
He didn’t want to go anywhere without her. He wanted to touch her silky skin. Breathe her sweet scent. Kiss her when she laughed. Hold her when she cried.
She’d become as important to him as air.
And because of that, his brother was now missing.
He needed to focus. To pull his head out of his ass and pay attention.
Without another word or thought, he took Kelly by the hand and led her out to his truck. He opened the driver’s door, and when she began to slide over to the passenger seat he clamped his hand over her thigh. “You stay right here.” He kissed her sweet mouth. “Beside me.”
He didn’t know how long he’d be able to hold onto her, or if he should just let her go altogether. After the family mess she would most likely see today, there would be no doubt she’d leave.
They all did.
After two hours and four rounds of checking Alex’s favorite hangouts, James looked exhausted and worried. Mile by mile the creases in his forehead had deepened. His beautiful lips had flattened and thinned until they were almost indiscernible. With each location and no sign of Alex, she’d heard more creative profanity and self-recrimination than she thought possible from one man. She couldn’t stand it anymore.
“Stop.”
He slammed on the brakes in the middle of Mule Deer Road. “What is it?” James peered through the windshield. “Do you see him?”
“Pull the truck over,” she said. “Please.”
Through the dark interior of the truck, he looked at her like he thought she might be crazy. But after two beats, he pulled to the curb. Kelly shifted in the seat to look at him. She reached up and cupped his face in her hands. Smoothed her fingers over the worry lines marring his forehead. Leaned forward and pressed her lips against his.
“I know the panic that’s burning inside you right now, James. But you aren’t going to do yourself or Alex any good if you’re tied up in a knot. Take a deep breath.”
“Kelly. I—”
“Please. If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for me.”
His chest and shoulders lifted on a deep intake of air.
“Again.”
He complied, and she smiled. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“I don’t know what to do,” he admitted. “I’ve looked everywhere I can think of. I’m a cop for god’s sake. I should be able to find him.”
“We’ll find him.”
A harsh breath pushed from his lungs. “I suck at this.”
“What?”
He glanced out the side window. “Being a brother.”
“Well, the job certainly doesn’t come with an instruction manual, does it?” she said, trying to make light of it. When he turned to look at her and she saw the despair in his eyes, the laughter died on her lips.
“Tell me what happened, James.”
His shoulders lifted in a shrug. “He took off.”
“I don’t mean tonight,” she said. “Tell me what happened with him that twists you up in a knot.”
His mouth opened, then closed. He looked at her as though he had much to say but the debate at war in his head prevented him from doing so. Then the chains that held him broke.
“Do you remember when I told you about the time I nearly died? And how things with Alex were complicated?”
“Vividly.”
“There’s more. I’ve never admitted it to anyone.” His brows lowered. “I’d like to tell you. If you don’t mind.”
If that didn’t verify trust, nothing did. “Of course.”
He shifted his gaze out the windshield and quietly told her the story of a fifteen-year-old boy who’d been put in charge of a colicky infant while his mother went out every night in search of a new husband. He told her of the night that infant had cried and cried and that nothing could be done to make him stop. He told her of his fear of losing his temper so he walked out and left that crying infant alone. He told her of the inner rage and guilt that had consumed him that night. Consumed him enough to take a dare, steal a motorcycle, and proceed to nearly kill himself.
The tale stole her breath and made her heart ache. The dark expression on his face convinced her that nothing in his mind would absolve him of his reckless actions—not the harm he’d done to himself, but that he’d abandoned Alex.
Now she understood.
The enormous responsibility of raising Alex—doing right by him—paralyzed James with fear. How could she convince him to forgive himself? That he’d been only a boy himself that day?
“If anything happens to him I’ll—”
“We’re going to find him.” She curved her fingers over his hand. Kept her tone quiet and even, just as she would while trying to soothe a victim who was about to take the stand and face their attacker. But this was so much more personal. “I promise you.”
His eyes searched her face, and he nodded. And then he kissed her. On his tongue, Kelly could taste his fear, his regret, and his guilt. No matter how badly she wanted to kiss all of his troubles away, it was something he had to work out for himself. All she could do was offer support.
“Let me take you home,” he said. “You look tired.”
“Are you tired of me?”
“No.” His eyes widened like she’d just made the stupidest statement in the world. “I just thought—”
“Well save all that thinking for when you really need it. I’m no Tinker Bell,” she reminded him. “Now put this truck in gear and let’s go find Alex.”
Relief eased the furrows in his forehead and at the corners of his eyes. “Thank you.”
All she could do now was hold his hand. And pray.
As he took his foot off the brake and eased the truck back out onto the road, Kelly reached for his hand and did just that.
They had two deputy units keeping an eye out for Alex. She and James had exhausted all avenues and were heading back to the little house on Railroad Avenue to come up with some other angles. Two blocks from home, they spotted him.
“Son of a bitch.”
Kelly heard the huge sigh of relief push from James’s lungs at the sight of his six-foot-tall baby brother ambling down the sidewalk as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
The truck rolled up alongside Alex, and James rolled down the window. “Nice evening.”
Alex looked up. “Yep.”
“Get in.”
“I’m good.” Alex turned his head and looked back down the sidewalk.
“Get. In.” James’s deep, demanding tone left no room for quarrel.
Within seconds, Kelly was sandwiched between the brothers while anger and resentment rolled off them in waves. Two alpha males battling for leadership. No question who would win, but that didn’t necessarily mean he would best the other. Too much of the past continued to serve as a wedge between the two of them.
She looked up at James’s profile caught in the shadows and highlights from the dashboard lights. Jaw clenched, muscles twitching. Then she turned her gaze to Alex, slouched in the seat like he didn’t care. Yet every muscle in his long, lanky body was tight and on
alert.
James turned the truck into the driveway, and before the tires came to a stop Alex was out the door and heading toward the house. James threw the gearshift into park and was out the door right after him. Forgotten, Kelly sat in the center of the truck debating whether to stay put or follow them into the house. When the battle within those four walls began with a vengeance, she chose a third option. The front porch. Just in case there was blood drawn.
As soon as she sat down in the old wicker chair, Poppy and Princess scratched at the screen door, looking for an escape from the turmoil swirling though the living room. Without making any abrupt moves, Kelly eased open the door and the little dogs ran out. She lifted them both into her arms and eased down into the chair. Princess quivered beneath her silky fur while Poppy looked up at her with worry in her big brown eyes.
“It’s going to be okay.” Kelly stroked their heads and cooed to them in a quiet voice. “Nothing to worry about.”
Princess leaned against her chest and continued to quiver, while Poppy lay across her lap with a heavy sigh. For the duration of the standoff inside the house, Kelly continued to stroke their fur in an attempt to calm their fears. When a door slammed at the back of the house and the voices quieted, she figured the boys had come to an impasse. Before long the screen door opened. She looked up as James came out onto the porch. The dogs sat up and wiggled with excitement.
“Are you okay?” she asked him.
“I sent him to his room before I wiped the smirk from his face.”
She tried to smile. He couldn’t send Alex to his room forever. It wasn’t a resolution, only a stalling tactic. One her own parents had used with Kate more times than Kelly could remember. In the end, they still had to find a solution.
“So, are you okay?” she repeated as he kneeled before her and stroked the little dogs’ heads with his big hand.
He looked up at her, and she received her answer in the dark of his eyes. No.
“I’m really sorry about that,” he said, “I should have taken you home so you didn’t have to get in the middle of all this.”