Luke (7 Brides for 7 Brothers Book 1)

by Barbara Freethy

"But I don't want you to think that we're careless with the customers on these hikes. Brad is a really good guide. He just got caught up talking to Mr. and Mrs. Harrison, and—"

  "Stop. I don't think any of that," he said, calming her worries. "It's possible the kids would have turned back as soon as they saw what was in store for them and Brad would have gone after them if I'd let him know. I figured I could handle the situation myself, and I did. So we're good."

  "All right. Thanks."

  "To be honest, I might have tried the same thing at their age, especially after the story Tom told last night about undiscovered gold."

  "I keep telling him we need to rethink that," she said with a laugh as she grabbed her new hiking boots off a rock and sat down to put them on.

  "It might be worth considering."

  "Would you risk your life for a gold nugget?"

  "I've risked it for a lot less."

  She finished tying her shoes and then stood up. "Why do you do it, Luke?"

  It was a question she'd asked him before—ten years ago. It was a question his family had asked, his sponsors, thousands of reporters around the globe.

  Why do you do it? What drives you? Do you have a death wish? What are you trying to prove?

  He'd never come up with a good answer.

  "Luke," she pressed, her gaze inquisitive. "I really want to know. I asked you before, and you could never tell me."

  "Why do you think I can tell you now?"

  "Because you've had ten years to think about it."

  He tipped his head. "Good point."

  "But still no answer?"

  "I guess…" His voice trailed away as he looked off to the distant peaks of El Capitan and Half Dome. "I need to push myself. I need to feel…alive. There's always been this feeling that I have to chase, only I never quite catch it."

  Her gaze clung to his. "I think that's the most honest you've ever been with me."

  "I never lied to you, Lizzie. Maybe I'm just more self-aware now."

  "Maybe you are."

  He looked into her serious and searching blue eyes and felt like she was stripping him bare and not in the way he wanted. She was getting into his head. She was seeing past his defenses, and why not? He'd just opened himself up in a big way.

  "Do you think you'll ever catch the feeling?" she asked him.

  He shrugged. "Who knows? It could be I'm just addicted to the adrenaline rush. I'm always looking for the next one."

  "Only the next one doesn't satisfy you any more than the one before," she said.

  "I wouldn't say that," he hedged.

  "You want to know what I think?"

  "Probably not," he said warily.

  "I don't think you're chasing a feeling…I think you're chasing yourself. You're afraid to be still, afraid you won't be enough if you're not moving, not achieving something, but you are enough, and you don't need to climb a mountain to realize that."

  It was probably the most insightful thing anyone had ever said to him, but it also made him feel defensive. "Being still doesn't get you anywhere. Sometimes it's not enough to sit in a quiet room and plan out your life. You have to go look for it. You have to grab it with both hands and hang on tight."

  She stared back at him. "There have to be quiet times. You can't live your life on a dead run."

  "Who says you can't? You? Would you have taken this break if Kelly hadn't died? Wouldn't you be walking the fast streets of New York, looking for your next gig, your next moment to be in the spotlight?"

  A frown entered her eyes. "I don't know. Perhaps—for a while longer anyway."

  "That's where I am. I like my life. I like what I do. Why should I change it?"

  "I guess you shouldn't." She let out a breath and looked away from him. "Brad is waving us over. Are you ready to go back?"

  He was more than ready to end this conversation, that was for sure. Lizzie had rattled him with her comments, and he'd obviously shaken her up, too. That was the thing. They were both really good at cutting through each other's bullshit. At one point that had seemed like a positive; now…he didn't know.

  * * *

  She'd been having fun until she'd remembered that Luke's life was thousands of miles away from here, and he had no intention of changing it. Which meant that he was no doubt going to destroy her life by selling the resort to some corporation that would install their own staff. Or even if they kept her on for a while, it would probably be temporary.

  Worry and annoyance made her walk faster on the way back to the lodge. She could feel Luke's presence behind her, but she didn't look around or speak to him again, and he seemed just as uninterested in talking to her.

  Maybe they both needed to do more thinking, less talking.

  If he sold the resort, she'd figure something out. It would be another rough change for Kaitlyn, although possibly a welcome one for her niece. But whatever happened, they'd make it.

  She just really loved the lodge, the staff, the guests, not to mention the location. It might not have been her first choice of a job, but in some ways she felt like she'd really found a home, people she could count on. At the resort, they all looked out for one another. They were a family and the guests often became friends. She liked the social interaction, the constantly changing dynamics.

  Sometimes she missed the music—more than sometimes in truth, but after everything that had happened—the pain of losing Kelly, the difficulty connecting with Kaitlyn, and the abrupt change in her living and working situations—music seemed like the last thing she needed to worry about.

  One day she'd play again.

  Or not. But either way, she'd survive. She'd always been a survivor. That hadn't changed.

  When they reached the resort, the group split up. She didn't know where Luke went. When she turned around, he was gone. It was just as well.

  She went to the pool first and saw Kaitlyn sunning herself on a lounger. She was alone, headphones in her ears as usual. Walking over, she sat down on the chair next to her niece and touched her on the arm.

  Kaitlyn squinted one eye open and then sighed. She took out her earphones.

  "How's it going?" Liz asked.

  "Fine."

  "Did you get lunch?"

  "Yes."

  "How is the summer reading coming along?" she asked. Kaitlyn was due to start school on Tuesday and she'd been given a reading list to complete over the summer.

  "I'll get it done," she replied, ready to put her headphones back in.

  She put a hand on her arm. "Why don't we talk about what you've read later tonight?"

  "Why?"

  "Because I'm worried you won't get your reading finished and then you'll be behind."

  "I said I'll do it. They're stupid easy books."

  "Then they shouldn't take you long to get through. You used to love to read. We read Harry Potter together when I watched you that week your parents went to London."

  "I was nine."

  "Kids your age still read."

  Kaitlyn shrugged, looking bored with the whole conversation. Then her phone buzzed, and she looked down at a text.

  "Who's that?" Liz asked.

  "No one."

  "Obviously, it's someone."

  "You've taken me away from all my friends. Isn't that enough for you?"

  "I don't think those friends were very good for you."

  Kaitlyn didn't bother to answer, her attention on her phone as her fingers flew over the keypad.

  "I'm going to be in my office," she said, giving up. "I'll see you at dinner."

  No answer. She sighed and got to her feet, then headed back into the lodge.

  She worked in her office for the next hour, going over the staffing schedule. The part-time summer help would be gone after Monday as they settled into a quieter time of the year. She also went over the books and then reviewed the notes she'd made in preparation for a pitch to Colin Brannigan about repairs and improvements.

  She felt a little sad thinking that Colin was gone. S
he'd been so focused on what his death meant to her that she felt guilty for not grieving him in the proper way. He had been more than a boss to her. She hadn't known him well, but he'd been Luke's father, and he'd saved her ass by giving her the job without any experience. For some reason he'd believed in her, and he'd told her that he liked to bet on the underdog.

  She just wished he'd bet a little more on his son. She thought Luke's wandering ways and his need to chase something had to do with his father's absence in his life as well as his mother's death. He'd been close to his brothers, but there had been so many of them, and Luke, at heart, was kind of a loner. He could be funny and loud and the life of the party, but then there were the times when he just wanted to think and ponder, walk and hike, study the stars and contemplate life. That was the Luke she actually loved the most. That was the guy she'd given her heart to. He might not think he liked to be still, but she knew he did.

  The door to her office opened, and her pulse jumped. But it wasn't Luke who entered the room; it was Brad.

  "Sorry about what happened earlier," he told her. "I should have figured those boys would try to sneak away. I'm usually better at spotting the troublemakers."

  "Their parents distracted you."

  "Still, it's my responsibility, and I know you want to make a good impression on Luke."

  "I don't think what happened today will influence his decision in any way."

  "Well, that's good." Brad paused. "I also wanted to talk to you about Shari. She won't like me butting into her business, but I'm worried that she's working too much. I know she's going to cut back after the weekend, but we still don't have a replacement chef, and she seems really tired lately."

  "I talked to her about it earlier. She knows we need her input on the chef search, and she's been very slow to give it. Frankly, I don't think she knows what to do with herself if she's not in the kitchen."

  "I get it. But I want her off her feet a bit more."

  "I will try to make that happen. "

  "I know you have a lot on your plate now that Colin has passed away."

  "I can handle it."

  "I hope Luke leaves things the way they are. I asked him to give us a heads-up if he's going to sell. We all don't just work here; many of us live here, too."

  "I don't think he'll shut us down without notice," she said. "He's not that kind of man."

  Brad cocked his head to the right. "Is he the kind of man you might give a second chance to?"

  She sucked in a quick breath at the question. "I—why would you ask that?"

  "I saw him holding your hand. You looked good together."

  "I tripped. He helped me up."

  Brad grinned. "And that's the story you're sticking to?"

  "That's the one."

  Brad walked to the door. "We're going to show Luke's latest movie in the living room at eight tonight. I've told all the guests. Shari is going to make three different kinds of popcorn, for what reason, I do not know, but it's happening."

  "Really? I didn't know about that."

  "You don't mind, do you? It's movie night."

  "Does Luke know?"

  "I just ran it past him. He said he'd come."

  "Okay, then I guess that will work."

  "Good." Brad paused. "For what it's worth, Liz, I don't think he's over you. So if you're not over him…"

  Brad gave her a second to answer. When she didn't respond, he left.

  The door was almost closed when she finally got the words out. "I am over him."

  But there was no one there to hear her vow. Just as well, because she wasn't sure she believed her own words.

  Nine

  Almost twenty people, including guests and staff members, showed up in the living room for Luke's movie. They had set up a player to stream movies to a big screen on the wall, with cozy couches and armchairs arranged for comfortable seating. Shari had put out not only several varieties of popcorn but also brownies, a fruit plate, and pitchers of lemonade.

  Liz had gotten Kaitlyn to come, and she was sitting next to Julie Harrison, looking probably as happy as Liz had seen her in a while. She just needed to make sure that when the lights went out, Kaitlyn didn't disappear with the boys.

  Before starting the movie, Brad introduced Luke and asked him if he wanted to say a few words.

  Luke stepped to the front of the room, and Liz couldn't help the little thrill that ran down her spine. He'd changed out of jeans and T-shirt and wore slacks and a button-down shirt tonight. His beard was neatly trimmed and his handsome face and dark-brown eyes compelled the attention of everyone, including her.

  "The movie you're about to see," Luke said, "was shot across five continents and ten countries. The people you'll meet are just like you. They might not speak your language, but they're living their lives just as you do: working jobs, going to school, raising families, and struggling to find meaning in their worlds. On their days off, they pursue passions that push them to the limits. Why do they do this?" He paused for a moment. "It's because they're afraid."

  Goose bumps ran down her arms at his words. Was he talking about the people in the film or about himself?

  "You might not believe that they're afraid when you watch them clinging to the face of a sheer rock wall thousands of feet above the ground or launching themselves out of a plane," Luke continued. "But they are. It's just not what you think of as fear. They're not afraid of falling or even of dying. Well, maybe some are, if they're smart," he added with a laugh. "But what they're really afraid of is that they'll let fear stop them from reaching for the stars. It's fear that they won't try hard enough to live up to their potential, to try as much as they can, to experience everything a human being can feel. You'll see amazing stories, and not all of them are triumphant, but we learn as much, if not more, from the failures. I hope you enjoy taking the journey with them as much as I did."

  Luke's words resonated deep within her. Luke wasn't just chasing something he couldn't quite catch; he was worried that he wouldn't live hard enough, wouldn't be all that he was supposed to be. But would he ever feel satisfied with what he'd already done, the amazing things he'd accomplished so far?

  She really hoped so.

  Luke stood against the back wall as the movie played. She was acutely aware of his presence for the first few minutes, but then she got caught up in the storylines. Luke didn't just show himself and other thrill seekers jumping off cliffs; he started on a more personal level. He showed them at work, at home with their families. He talked to them about their dreams, their fears, their flaws. Sometimes he went with them on their adventures, a participant as well as a cameraman. Other times, he hung back; he let them have their own moment to succeed or fail.

  As the film played, she experienced as many emotions as the people she was watching and judging by the entranced silence in the room, she wasn't alone. When the lights came on, she felt as exhausted and exhilarated as the climbers reaching the summit of Mt. Everest.

  Luke was immediately swarmed with people offering amazed thanks and congratulations.

  Liz was happy to see that Kaitlyn and the boys had stayed, although she realized she'd been so caught up in the movie she probably wouldn't have seen them leave.

  Shari came up next to her. "So, can I just say wow? That man is a super stud. And you let him go?"

  "It seemed like a good idea at the time," she said with a wistful sigh. "But now, I can't even remember why I thought that."

  "Maybe he's improved with age," Shari said with a smile.

  "I think he definitely has."

  "I'm going to head up to bed, but before I go I wanted to ask you about tomorrow—about Kelly's birthday. How do you want to handle that with Kaitlyn? Do we talk about it? Do we ignore it? Do we celebrate? I don't know what the right thing is to do."

  Looking into Shari's troubled eyes, Liz didn't know, either. "I feel like whatever we do it will be the wrong thing. I think we just need to follow Kaitlyn's lead."

  "So we're ignoring
it."

  "I think so. Lately when I bring up Kelly, Kaitlyn goes on attack, telling me I was a bad sister… I know anger is a normal part of the grieving process, but how long does it go on?"

  Shari gave her a sympathetic smile. "As long as it does."

  "That's not helpful."

  "I don't have any easy answers; I wish I did. Watching what you've been going through with Kaitlyn is making me worry about what's in store for me with this baby. You never think about what your child is going to be like at thirteen."

  Liz smiled. "You have plenty of years to get through before then. And you'll be a great mom. I have no doubt about that."

  "You're doing a good job, too, Liz. You've been a stand-in mother for six months, so give yourself a break. Deep down Kaitlyn loves you, even if right now she's not willing to show you."

  "I love her, too, even when she's making it really, really hard." She paused. "Go, get some rest. And tomorrow we amp up the search for a new chef."

  "I'm ahead of you. I have someone coming in tomorrow morning to work with me through the weekend. Her name is Val Marlow, and she has excellent references. She's been a sous chef in San Francisco for five years. Most importantly, her boyfriend is now working in Yosemite, so she's looking to relocate to this area, and a job here would be great for her."

  "I'm so happy to hear this. You know your job will be waiting for you when you're ready to come back, but I think taking a few months for yourself and the baby is important."

  "I know. I just hate anyone else running my kitchen."

  "It's still your kitchen."

  "For a while anyway, until Luke makes his decision."

  "Don't worry about that tonight."

  "I won't, because I know you're worrying for me and for all of us. Good-night, Liz."

  "Sleep well," she said.

  She walked over to Luke, who was talking to Tina.

  "This guy is amazing," Tina said with the same look of wonder most people wore after talking to Luke and hearing about his adventures.

  "I know," she said. She glanced past Luke at Kaitlyn, who had gotten up from the couch but was texting on her phone. "Kaitlyn, what did you think of the movie?"

  Kaitlyn didn't answer.