Jason

by Feyna Blackwell

  He headed for the kitchen and stood looking at the cabinets. Did Marina even have coffee? He scanned the countertops and spotted a coffeemaker pushed back against the wall. After pulling it forward and making sure it was plugged in, he opened nearby cabinet doors until he found a package of filters and a can of ground coffee. He set his finds on the counter and studied them. How did one go about making coffee?

  Grabbing the blue can, he searched the small print on the label and found the directions. It sounded simple enough, and his confidence built. The coffeemaker itself presented a bit of a challenge, since he had no idea how to open it, but after a little examination he figured out how to put the filter in. As he scooped the specified amount of grounds into the filter, uncertainty hit. What if Marina didn’t want coffee this morning? Worse, what if she wanted coffee, but his was undrinkable?

  He stared at the coffee grounds piled in the filter and sighed. Surely it would turn out all right since he was following the instructions on the can. Even if it didn’t, at least he would have learned something. Bolstered by the thought, he added water from the tap and turned the machine on. Within moments, it was bubbling and perking, the first few drips coming out as a rich, dark liquid. Jason inhaled the familiar scent of fresh coffee and his excitement grew. He was making a pot of coffee for the first time in his life, and he was doing it without help.

  He couldn’t wait to see Marina’s reaction.

  When she stepped into the kitchen several minutes later, the coffee was almost ready. Jason ran his gaze over her, admiring her beauty. Even though she wore her usual white blouse and dark slacks, with her hair pulled back in a ponytail, he still saw the woman from last night, relaxing at home in a pair of pajamas. How he would love to see that vision every night and relax alongside her, but he had a feeling he stood a better chance of getting released from the collection center.

  She sniffed the air and turned toward him with a smile. “You made coffee?”

  “I think so. I’ve never made it before, so I hope it tastes okay.”

  “It smells wonderful.” She moved to the cabinet and pulled out two ceramic mugs. “Now for the true test.”

  Although the twinkle in her eyes said she was teasing him, Jason couldn’t stop a twinge of anxiety as she filled the mugs and handed him one. In a moment, they would know whether he could make drinkable coffee or not. The suspense was killing him. He watched Marina inhale the scent of the steaming brew, and then she blew gently on the surface and took a sip. A slow smile curved her lips, enabling him to breathe again.

  “This is great coffee.” Marina took another sip before setting the mug on the counter. “How did you learn to make it?”

  “I followed the directions on the can.” He shrugged as though it was no big deal and took a sip from his own mug. She was right — he’d managed to make decent coffee without help from anyone else. A surge of pride lifted his mood. “Now, since I made the coffee, you get to make the food.”

  She laughed and headed for the refrigerator. “I can live with that deal.”

  He watched her retrieve a pair of plastic containers, and longing filled him. He could easily imagine this cozy domestic scene every morning for the rest of his life. But first, he had to get out of the breeding program. That was a challenge he might not be able to overcome, but he planned to fight for his freedom for all he was worth.

  Marina set the containers on the table and headed for the cabinet. “Do you want to grab some silverware for us?”

  Jason moved to the drawer they’d put the silverware in the previous night. “What do we need?”

  “Forks, spoons, and knives.” She retrieved a pair of plates and set them on the table. Then she moved to the counter and dropped a couple of pieces of whole grain bread in the toaster. “There are napkins in the holder on the table.”

  He collected the specified utensils and carried them to the table. Using his vast knowledge of movies, he managed to properly place the silverware to either side of the plates before Marina finished the toast. Without her prompting, he retrieved a pair of glasses from the cupboard and added them to the place settings. Aware of her gaze on him, he went to the refrigerator and pulled out the bottle of orange juice.

  She spoke as he poured the juice. “Are you sure this is your first time in a home?”

  “Yes.” He returned the juice to the refrigerator and turned toward her. “Why?”

  “You seem very comfortable in a kitchen.” The toast popped up, and she carried it to the table.

  “You’d be amazed at how much you can learn by reading and watching movies.” Jason settled into the same chair he’d sat in the previous evening. “But learning things that way is nothing compared to actually experiencing them.”

  “I would imagine that’s true.” Marina opened the two containers she’d set on the table, revealing yogurt in one and mixed fruit in the other. “I hope you don’t mind that I checked your file to find out your usual breakfast. I wanted to be sure you would enjoy it.”

  His heart skipped a beat at this evidence she cared about him. “I’m sure I would enjoy anything you prepare for me.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind for the next time you’re here.”

  He pondered her words as she served him breakfast. “Do you really think I’ll be allowed to come back?”

  “If Dr. Flanders is smart, she’ll approve it.” Marina smiled and slid the butter dish closer to him. “You’re in a much better frame of mind this morning than you were yesterday.”

  “That’s because I’ve been treated like a human being instead of a cow.” He reached for her hand, pleased when she let him grasp it. “But more than that, I can tell you care about me. I think you might even be attracted to me.”

  A blush lit her cheeks and she smiled. “I am. There’s something about you that reaches straight into my heart.”

  “I feel the same way.” He held her hand a moment longer, then withdrew his as possibilities for the future sprang to mind. That was dangerous territory for him to visit, since he had no way of knowing if he would ever see Marina outside the collection floor again. “So, when do we find out if Dr. Flanders will allow me to come back here?”

  “Possibly today, but maybe not until later in the week. She’ll have to speak with both of us and evaluate all the data before she makes that decision.”

  Jason sighed and scooped up a spoonful of yogurt. “I wish I didn’t need permission from anyone but you to visit you. The whole system is ridiculous and keeps me prisoner.”

  “I’m going to talk to a few people later today to see if there’s anything they can do to help improve the situation for you men.” She opened her mouth as if to say more, but the ringing telephone in the living room interrupted. “Excuse me.”

  He watched her leave the room and continued eating. Although he appreciated the thoughtfulness of providing what he normally ate, he almost wished she had offered him something completely different. He had eaten a healthy breakfast every morning for as long as he could remember. Just once, he would like to know how it felt to eat doughnuts and jelly-filled pastries or fried eggs and sausage. Anything unhealthy and not controlled by the facility’s higher powers.

  Last night’s dinner sprang to mind. It had been fairly healthy, but Marina had let him choose what he wanted. The ability to select a comfort food he hadn’t eaten in years had been exhilarating. And she was an excellent cook. What would she think if he asked her to teach him to cook the next time he spent the night with her? He’d never be able to use any skills he learned anywhere else, but the idea of cooking with her instead of just observing appealed to him.

  Marina returned to her seat and avoided his gaze. Anxiety raced through him as he watched her pick at her fruit without eating a bite.

  “Marina?”

  She finally looked at him. “That was Dr. Flanders on the phone. As soon as we finish eating, I have to take you to her office. She wants to talk to you before you rejoin the other men.”

  “That doe
sn’t sound promising.”

  “I think she doesn’t want them to somehow corrupt your recollection of your time here.” Marina laid her fork on the edge of her plate and sighed. “I’m worried, Jason. She didn’t sound pleased when I told her everything was going well.”

  “Why wouldn’t she be pleased?” It didn’t make any sense that the woman in charge of the collection center would want his night with Marina to go poorly. Did she have no regard for the men at all?

  “I don’t know.” Marina shook her head. “Dr. Flanders’s choices don’t always make sense to me. I’m just hoping that everything works out in your best interest.”

  Jason pondered that thought while they finished eating. Although he hoped Marina’s opinion of his best interest included freedom and her in his life, he couldn’t know for sure. Not after only one night of truly getting to know her instead of just observing her from a distance.

  When he could delay the inevitable no longer, he changed into his usual clothing of loose-fitting pants and a T-shirt, then pulled on a pair of sneakers and joined Marina by the door. She took the duffel from his hand and set it on the floor of the entryway.

  “I’ll drop that off later.” Her heavy sigh brought down his mood. “I really wish I knew for sure you’ll be allowed to come here again.”

  “So do I.” He stepped close and embraced her, holding her close and hoping it wasn’t for the last time. “You have no idea how much I’ve enjoyed being here with you.”

  Marina laid a hand along his jaw, sending his pulse into overdrive. She smiled as she looked into his eyes. “We should go.”

  “In a minute.” He lowered his head and claimed her mouth in a searing kiss. As she melted into his embrace, he worked to memorize each sensation racing through him. The warmth of her body, so pliable against him. Her taste, which he could never tire of. The scent of her shampoo wafting up from her silky hair.

  After not nearly long enough, he slowly withdrew and released her. She stared at him with wide eyes, a beautiful flush giving life to her cheeks. Oh, how he wished he could stay here with her forever.

  She drew in a shaky breath and clasped her hands. “Are you ready now?”

  “I guess I have to be,” he said on a sigh.

  7

  The walk through the facility was torture. He longed to touch Marina, hold her hand, yet because they were no longer in the privacy of her apartment or her office, he had to force himself to refrain. Nerves at facing the woman in charge of deciding whether he would ever spend another night with Marina made him want to run, but he had no choice other than to enter her office. He could only hope that she saw how much good a single night with a woman who cared had done him. He had no worries about the physical effects of his night with Marina. With the amazing memories he now had, he would surely be able to complete his participation in the collection faster than most of the other men with a high output of semen.

  The gray-haired woman standing behind the imposing desk couldn’t have been a day over sixty and appeared unable to smile. No laugh lines existed around her mouth or at the corners of her eyes. She looked as cold and unfeeling as the attendants he hated so much. Only Marina had managed to keep her humanity while working in such a sterile, industrial environment.

  “I am Dr. Flanders,” the woman said in a clipped tone and shifted her gaze to Marina. “You may go about your duties, Marina. I will speak with you later.”

  “Yes, Dr. Flanders.”

  Marina turned to leave the office, but she paused and briefly met Jason’s gaze. After giving him a smile that warmed his heart, she exited the room and pulled the door closed. He sucked in a breath and released it, wishing she could have stayed with him and knowing she couldn’t.

  “T985, please take a seat.” Dr. Flanders voice was as cold as her expression, and something in Jason rebelled at being treated like a machine once more.

  He squared his shoulders and looked her directly in the eye. “My name is Jason.”

  The woman didn’t even blink. “That is the name in your file, yes, but you are also T985. That is how I will refer to you, and you will not argue with me about it again. Understood?”

  He had to give her credit. She had perfected the robot-like manner and added in a hint of drill sergeant — or what he assumed a drill sergeant would be like given the number of military-related movies he had watched and books he had read. Rather than risk losing the ability to spend time with Marina because of uncooperative behavior, he moved to the chair Dr. Flanders had indicated in front of her desk and sat down.

  “Thank you.” She took a seat in her own chair and studied him. “Tell me, T985. Did you enjoy your evening with Marina?”

  “Yes, I did.” Pleasant memories sprang to mind, and he had to fight to keep from smiling. He had a feeling it would work against him to appear too eager to discuss the night.

  “Good. Describe to me what you and Marina did from the time you entered her apartment last night to the time you left it this morning.”

  “When we first arrived, I took a bath while Marina cooked us dinner.” He refused to divulge anything in great detail, and he would never tell the doctor about the way he had broken down while in the bath or the times he had panicked over Marina’s touch. “After we ate, we relaxed in front of the fire, and then we went to bed.”

  “Did you talk to each other?”

  “Of course.”

  “About what?” Dr. Flanders picked up a tablet from her desktop and appeared to make a note.

  “Many things. Food, movies, books, our childhoods. It was normal conversation for two people who don’t really know each other.”

  “I see.” She made another note, and then pierced him with an emotionless stare. “When Marina first came to me to request that you be allowed female companionship, I was under the impression you wished to have sexual contact with a woman. Is that correct?”

  “I did say something about that to Marina before she spoke to you, yes.” A chill raced down Jason’s spine. Something about the woman’s question set off alarms inside his mind, warning him of a possible impending attack.

  “And did you have sex with Marina while you were at her apartment?”

  Anger clouded his judgment, and he rose from his seat. “That is none of your business.”

  “Sit down, T985.” Dr. Flanders met his glare with a stern gaze that broke through the anger. “Sit down now, or I will call for a guard to make you sit.”

  Once again reminded of his complete helplessness in this institution, he returned to his seat and shoved his temper down as he had done so many times before.

  “Thank you. Now, as I am sure you are aware, every single aspect of your life is my business. That includes what you do in private when you are given the opportunity to spend the night with a woman. So, I will ask again. Did you have sex with Marina?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  Jason closed his eyes and briefly fantasized about punching the woman in the jaw. Then he opened his eyes again and tried to figure out the best way to answer that wouldn’t get either him or Marina in some kind of trouble.

  He took a moment too long, and Dr. Flanders straightened in her seat. “Was Marina uncooperative?”

  “No. She was willing to do anything I asked.”

  “And did you ask her to sleep with you?”

  “No.”

  “Why not? I thought that was what you wanted.”

  Sick of trying to keep the truth hidden from a woman who had no heart, he met her gaze without flinching. “I didn’t ask, because I didn’t want sex. I preferred to talk to her and hold her and feel as though I was a man instead of a damned cow for once in my miserable life. You may not be aware of this, but although we men have our every physical need met, our emotional needs are completely ignored.”

  “Marina mentioned you feel that way, but I have heard no complaints from any of the other men.”

  “Have you ever bothered to ask?”

  “To borrow y
our words from a moment ago, that is none of your business.”

  Jason knew for a fact that neither Dr. Flanders nor anyone else had ever bothered to ask the men in the collection program how they felt about anything. Aside from their preferences for the collection machines, they were told what to do.

  “I must say, you are not being particularly cooperative.” Dr. Flanders tapped her fingertips on the edge of her desk. “Would you care to tell me why?”

  “You are prying into my personal life as though I am a science experiment with no emotions.” Jason leaned back in the chair and forced himself to relax. “I take offense at being ignored yet again in the name of whatever it is that makes every woman in this place so cold.”

  “Did you find Marina to be cold when you were with her?”

  He sighed. Apparently, no amount of protesting would get this woman to realize he was a human being with feelings. “No. I found her to be quite warm and friendly. She proved to me that she has a heart and isn’t afraid to use it.”

  “I see.” Dr. Flanders made yet another note. “And how did the visit with Marina affect your state of mind?”

  “My state of mind is greatly improved now that I know there is at least one woman in this damned place that sees me as a man and not a cow. Someone who cares about how I feel.”

  “It sounds as though you and Marina developed quite the relationship in a single night.”

  “What we developed is friendship, nothing more.” He refused to tell the woman about the kisses he had shared with Marina or the way he had nearly seduced her less than two hours ago. Whenever he mentioned Marina having emotions and being kind, he got the feeling Dr. Flanders considered it a strike against her.

  “Hmm. And you say that even though you specifically requested a woman with whom you could have sex, once provided with this woman you opted to abstain?”

  The woman was more obsessed with sex than the men. Jason took a calming breath. “That’s correct. Is that a problem?”