I stared at Kitty’s door, unsure of what to do. I never usually knocked when I wanted to see her, but after days of leaving her alone, it felt awkward to barge in.
But then again, I owned the damn place.
Opening the door, I saw Kitty sitting on the bed, her head bent down. She wasn’t kneeling and waiting for me, but she had lingerie on. My heart broke for a moment, thinking about how she must’ve been waiting for me for the last three days.
Kitty looked up and our eyes locked. Her big, beautiful brown eyes that had captivated me from the start gazed at me, full of vulnerability. My distance had hurt her. She’d waited for me and I hadn’t come.
As silent as a cat, she rose from the bed. Her bare feet padded on the carpeted floor. When she reached me, she pushed the door closed and stood on tiptoes, her lips connecting with mine.
My eyes closed involuntarily when our lips touched, my body responding to her kiss automatically. I pulled her closer, arms circling the woman that had stolen my heart. Her tongue didn’t battle with mine. She let me reign dominance over her, and there was something about this kiss that reminded me of the last night we’d spent together.
The moment that we touched, an electric current had surged within me and jolted my heart, restarting the feelings that I’d desperately tried to shove away.
I pushed Kitty away and saw the surprise flash in her eyes. But I was here for a reason and if she kept reminding me of our night together than my resolve would disappear. I had to show her that what happened between us three nights ago meant nothing.
Even if that was a lie.
Harshly, I grabbed her hand, dragging her out of the bedroom and to the playroom. Kitty didn’t complain once.
“Kneel,” I commanded. Silently, she got down on her knees, bowing her head. I gritted my teeth at the sight. She was nothing but my submissive. I was her dominant. I had to repeat those words in my head over and over again, make them true.
I picked a knife up from the counter next to us. Kitty’s eyes widened, but she didn’t say a word. “Stand,” I told her.
Head still bowed, she did as commanded. Carefully, I sliced the lingerie she was wearing. Scraps fell to the floor softly. Her nipples puckered from the cold and I grabbed her hair until she was arching her back. I dipped my head, licking and biting at her exposed breasts while my other hand stroked her dripping pussy.
I pushed her against the wall and plunged three fingers into her core, fucking her with my hand relentlessly. She moaned my named.
“Master,” I corrected her, biting her neck harder than usual as punishment.
She whimpered and gasped, enjoying the harsh bite, but nodded. “Yes, Master,” she said on a moan. She squirmed under my touch, her breaths growing ragged and her moans getting louder, but I stopped right before she was about to come.
“Kneel,” I told her again and grabbed a glass and lighter. She got on her knees without question.
I placed a glass a few inches above her skin and heated the bottom. Kitty gasped at the contact and looked at me, confused. I didn’t say anything, didn’t explain. Just continued, taking the flame away from the glass, letting it cool as the vacuum effect left a hickey-like mark on her skin.
Kitty gasped at the sensation, biting her lip against the pleasure it brought her. Her eyes burned with desire. She still wanted me. I had to push her away, make her see me as nothing more than a dominant she had a contract with. I stopped fire cupping her, turned her over until her ass was up in the air.
Slowly, I eased my entire fist into her ass. Since she was able to accommodate my entire cock, I was sure she could do it with my fist. She gasped at the sensation. Kitty glanced at me over her shoulder, but I didn’t say anything to her, only continued with my torturous pleasure.
I fucked her with my fist and she loved every minute of it.
“Ohhh,” she gasped and I felt her tense as an orgasm took her. “Master, yes.” Juices dripped from her pussy, down her thigh, and I wanted to lick them up. To taste her. Once again I had to remind myself that she was my submissive and I was her dominant, nothing more than that.
I wanted her so bad, but had to restrain myself, because a simple fuck wouldn’t do anymore. Not after our last time together. Frustration filled me, sparking anger at myself to rise up in my chest. I stood up, roughly grabbing Kitty and chaining her upright. Metal cuffs went around her feet so she couldn’t move, and I grabbed a leather belt, spanking her ass hard. She cried out from the pain and hissed at the pleasure that it caused her.
Again and again I brought my belt down on her, taking my frustration out with each slap of leather on skin. I was crossing a line, hitting her harder than I intended or had before.
Her soft cries pierced my ears. The belt fell from my hands and guilt consumed me. There wasn’t any pleasure in her pain anymore.
I removed her from her chains and laid her down on the bed, onto her stomach. Kneeling beside her, I grabbed a balm from the nightstand and rubbed it over her red ass to soothe the pain.
Before I could even finish, Kitty turned over onto her back, gaze searching my face for something. Her crying had stopped, but wet trails lined her cheeks and her eyes were rimmed with red.
“Connor,” she whispered and there was a plea in that sultry voice of hers. “Make love to me.”
Could she see how much I desperately wanted that? How much I wanted all of her?
But she was my submissive and I was her dominant.
Making love wasn’t a part of our contract.
And in just a handful of days, that contract would end and she’d leave me.
I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes for a brief second, taking a deep breath. “Kneel.”
Kitty quickly did as commanded, and I guided her until she was on her hands and knees, ass sticking up for me to take. My dick throbbed with desire as I pulled my silk pajama pants down.
I couldn’t make love to her, could give either of us that hope, but I could fuck her the way she liked it. Rough and fast.
My hand twisted in her hair while the other gripped her waist and I pushed my hard cock into her ass, pumping in and out of her until all thoughts about feelings and contracts were shoved out of my thoughts.
The sound of my balls slapping her ass filled the room. Kitty moaned and gasped as I grunted.
“Connor,” she said. “Oh god, yes, Connor.”
She repeated my name and I couldn’t correct her. Hearing it from her lips as an orgasm took her over was like a drug to me. I would never get enough of it.
It sent me over the edge. My cum filled her, hot and sticky as my thrusting continued.
God, this woman would be the end of me and I wasn’t sure I cared anymore.
Kitty moved against me, taking me in her even as my own pumping slowed, stretching her orgasm. The sight of her bare ass, filled with my cock, had me wanting her all over again. She glanced over her shoulder at me, my dick still filling her, and gazed at me with bleary lust-hazed eyes.
She wanted more too.
But she desired more than just a good anal fuck. What she wanted wasn’t something I could give.
I couldn’t poison her with love. It already consumed me, driving me mad and making me reckless.
If I gave in now, there would be no turning back. I’d selfishly want her forever. And that would ruin her future.
She couldn’t love me. Even if she wanted to. I couldn’t let her give up her dreams for me.
I snatched my pajama pants up, yanking them back on before unlocking Kitty’s cuffs. The metal clinked when I dropped the handcuffs on the nightstand and, without another word, and strode to the door, leaving Kitty alone on the bed. I didn’t look at her, fearing it would ruin my resolve.
“We’re done for tonight,” I said, keeping my voice cool and collected, showing her only the dominant in me. “Go back to your room, slave.” I emphasized the word, reminding her of the only role she had in my life.
And to remind myself too.
&n
bsp; In my room, I sank onto my bed, head in my hands. What the hell was happening to me?
I’d never fallen in love before, but the moment I saw Kitty everything had been different. She warmed my cold heart with her big, innocent, brown eyes. She’d gotten under my skin without me knowing and had dug a hole for herself in my heart.
But I needed to get her out of my system and let her go.
Kitty wasn’t meant to just be someone’s sex slave. She was meant for so much more, and because of that, I needed to let her go.
Even when I wanted her to stay.
But how did you stop loving someone?
Chapter Seventeen
Kitty
After I left the playroom, I headed straight to my room. To be honest, Connor’s curt dismissal surprised me. He usually walked me back to my room when we were done. But tonight, everything had been different. Connor had been different, more like the dominants Shelly talked about.
I eased my body into the warm tub. The scent of lavender embraced me, calming my racing heart as my mind replayed my session with Connor. He had been a man possessed, fucking me hard and rough, unrelenting. He was arrogant and dominant, and I’d never been more turned on by the alpha in him. There hadn’t been any sign of the sweet and tender Connor who had made my first time special. He’d been all about dominating me earlier and it had been hot.
But he’d also hurt me too. Before he fucked my ass raw, he’d spanked me without mercy. The pain had made me cry, forced tears from my eyes, but I didn’t hate it. Not like he seemed to think. Connor was always cautious of how much pain he inflicted, but tonight he didn’t seem to care.
And it actually turned me on. I had loved every second of it. The pain was harsh, but the fire in Connor’s eyes and the strength of his spanks turned me on, despite the tears that escaped and betrayed my real emotions.
For three days Connor didn’t come to me. I’d worried I did something wrong the night he asked me to stay, but what?
Now I wondered if he’d just been building my craving for him. Because I had never craved his touch as much as when he spanked and fucked me earlier.
Still, a part of me craved the sweet and tender Connor. The man who made love to me.
What the hell was going on in his head? He was soft and sweet one day and then nothing more than the harsh dominant I’d first met the next day. I loved both sides of him, but the sudden switching was giving me whiplash.
And our contract was almost over. The thought filled me with grief. I wouldn’t see Connor again. I’d have to leave his side even though it was the last thing I wanted.
Maybe Connor cared about me as more than just his submissive, but he didn’t love me. He didn’t want me to stay. In a few days, I’d be nothing to him again.
The thought sent a bullet straight through my heart, the pain searing my body. The thought of having to say goodbye to my first love was suffocating. I might as well have been drowning in the tub of water.
Because the way that Connor had fucked me tonight, no matter how amazing it was, it had felt like a goodbye.
And I didn’t want a goodbye.
My fingers were wrinkly prunes by the time I got out of the tub. I dried off and slipped into a thin negligee without underwear. I’d stopped wearing them when Connor started visiting my room in the middle of the night to fuck me.
I crawled under the covers of my bed and wrapped myself in the thick blankets that were nothing like my threadbare ones back home. I didn’t want to leave this place. It wasn’t just about the amazing things Connor had provided for me. I could buy all new stuff with the money Connor was paying me—hell I could buy a new apartment even—but it wouldn’t be the same.
There would be no roses waiting, picked out by a man that cared about me. There’d be no need for flimsy negligee without Connor. And I couldn’t buy the comfort that being with him gave me.
I bit my lip to the fight the tears. Connor owned me, body and soul. How the hell was I supposed to leave? He’d be keeping my heart and I’d leave emptier than I came.
Even with the money and my future at RISD, I would gladly trade all of that if it meant that I got to stay by Connor’s side.
I didn’t even realize I was crying until hot tears were rolling down my cheeks. Our coming goodbye haunted me.
Any time I had to say goodbye to a foster family, it hurt, but none of them compared to this.
The door to my room creaked open on near-silent hinges and the soft glow of the hallway light filled a quarter of the room. Connor’s silhouette stood like a silent sentinel. On quiet feet, he walked to my bed and the mattress dipped as he sat down.
“Kitty,” he whispered, his hand moving to my face, cupping it. “Why are you crying?”
He wiped the tears away with his thumb, staring at me with concerned eyes. I shook my head, pushing myself into a sitting position and bringing my knees close to my chest.
“It’s nothing, Connor.”
His gaze, etched with worry, searched my face. “I don’t think it’s nothing, Kitty. Tell me.”
How was I supposed to tell him that I loved him?
He didn’t love me. He couldn’t—no one ever had. Not even my own mother loved me.
Maybe I was unloveable.
I shook my head again, unable to even think of what to say. I didn’t use words. I leaned forward, softly wrapping my hands around his neck, and pressed a light kiss to his lips. When I pulled away, his eyes were burning with passion.
“Kitty,” Connor said, voice thick with some sort of emotion. “I have to tell you something.”
“What is it?”
Hesitation flashed in his eyes before he spoke. “I didn’t think that I would end up having any real feelings for you.”
His words soothed my grieving heart, filling it with hope. “What do you mean?”
Connor ran a hand through his hair, tousling it. An eternity stretched before me as he took a deep breath.
“I love you,” he said, the words hushed and soft, intimate.
I couldn’t speak. How could this man who had so much to offer, in every way, love me? I wasn’t anything special.
“W-what?” I asked. There was more I wanted to say, but the words were stuck in my throat. My heart swelled until it felt like it would burst out of my chest.
Connor reached out, caressing my hair before cupping my face in his hand again. His thumb slowly rubbed my cheek. “I love you, Kitty Davis. And I tried to fight the feeling because it wasn’t part our deal.” He took another deep breath.
I took his free hand in both of mine, wanting to pull him to me, but he wasn’t finished.
“I can’t stop myself, Kitty. It might not be what you want to hear, but it’s the truth,” Connor said, his voice thick with emotion. His eyes glinted with unshed tears. “I can’t stop loving you and I don’t want to either.”
He drew me to him, until our lips were pressed together. I’d never kissed Connor with such passion and hunger, with such love. I poured out all of my feelings for him into our kiss, all the words my tongue wouldn’t speak but that my heart wanted to say.
When Connor pulled back, we were both breathing hard. But Connor was only getting started. I couldn’t stop the excitement that bubbled up in my stomach when he pulled my lingerie off and started to kiss every inch of exposed skin.
Connor’s mouth dipped lower and lower, until he was licking and sucking on my pussy, fucking me with his tongue.
“Connor,” I moaned his name, over and over again as his fingers rubbed my clit. My pussy ached for him, wet and ready, but Connor never moved to take his pants off. He focused on me, pumping his fingers and licking until I was climaxing.
“Say my name again,” Connor told me.
“Oh yes, Connor,” I said, letting the orgasm crash over me, his name a refrain on my lips. “Connor.”
“I love it when you say my name, high on the pleasure I’m giving you,” he said.
“Uhhhngh,” I moaned, the climax peaking and t
aking over my entire body. “Connor,” I said, arching under his touch. “Oh yes, Connor.”
He licked my juices, tasting all of me, as the waves of pleasure faded, leaving me satisfied and sleepy.
Connor drew his hand away, shifting until he was lying next to me. I reached for his pants, but he simply tucked me close to him.
“Your tired, Kitty,” he whispered into my hair. “Get some sleep, baby.”
I wanted to argue, but the post-high of my orgasm and the hard session in Connor’s playroom earlier took its toll. My eyes were heavy and I could already feel myself drifting to sleep, cuddled warmly in the crook of Connor’s arm.
The last thing I heard before sleep overtook me was Connor’s soft words, “You’ve stolen my heart, Kitty Davis. I love you.”
The next morning, I woke up with a smile, reaching for Connor in my bed as I stretched.
But he wasn’t there.
The sun shone through my windows, illuminating the empty space where Connor had been last night.
Or had he?
There wasn’t any trace of him. No wrinkled blankets on his side of the bed, no warmth from where his body had been. Not even the scent of his cologne lingered.
My heart sank.
Had it all been a dream?
It had felt so vivid. Could I really have made it all up? But the blankets were still tucked in on that side of my bed and Connor wouldn’t have made just half of the bed around me. It had been nothing more than a fantasy in my sleep.
I was a fool, dreaming of a confession from the man that I was hopelessly in love with.
God, how desperate was I?
Tears burned my eyes. I’d fallen asleep crying, dreaming up fantasies about the man I loved, and it only made me wake up to the harsh truth and more tears.
I’d fallen too hard, was in too deep. Last night had felt so real, so intense. Dreams weren’t meant to be like that. I threw my pillow across the room. It wasn’t fair. I knew Connor was off-limits, tried to keep myself from loving him, but it was all in vain. And now I was completely in love with someone so far out of my reach. Someone I’d never see again in just a few days.
His Filthy Game: A Romance Compilation Page 13