Why did my heart have to finally open for him? Connor was so high up while I was so down low and there wasn’t a point in this life that we could meet halfway. Connor was one of New York’s most eligible bachelors for crying out loud!
Foster home after foster home didn’t want me. My own mother gave me up. What made me think any man would want me, let alone love me enough to keep me when no one else had? I was merely a fleeting moment in everyone’s life and would be in Connor’s too. He’d end up forgetting about me just like everyone else.
I was only a hired submissive and there would be more after me. How could I dream of being anything special to him? Connor would live his luxurious life, moving from girl to girl. The best thing for me would be to forget about him.
Because by the end of this month, he’d certainly forget about me.
I should think about my future instead. Take my payment, get on a plane, and fly to RISD. Move on with my life and plan a future that didn’t include Connor.
Because Connor Cartwright wasn’t meant for me to have.
He was my dominant and I was his submissive. Nothing more, nothing less.
Dreaming for more only hurt.
“You have to stop it, Kitty,” I told myself, hugging my knees closer to my body as tears streamed down my face. “You’re his hired sex toy. That’s all you’ll ever be to him.”
But my heart didn’t want to believe that, at war with my mind. I hugged my knees tighter to my chest, sobbing like the naïve fool that I was.
Connor wasn’t mine and he never would be.
I was a submissive spinning out of control, helplessly and hopelessly in love with my dominant.
He asked for my service yet I gave him my heart.
Chapter Eighteen
Connor
Wanting someone can be so painful.
Our contract was almost done, the end of the month so close. Saying goodbye to Kitty would rip my heart out, but I had to. I couldn’t keep her locked up with me forever, but my mind couldn’t stop searching for a way to make her stay.
You can’t keep her, I kept telling myself.
She had to be let go.
Fuck!
I hadn’t seen Kitty since our session in the playroom where my spanking had gotten out of control. Guilt and desire overpowered me. Even with our contract ending soon, I hadn’t seen Kitty for two days. It was too hard to face her, knowing my actions in the playroom had crossed the line. And knowing I’d beg her to stay unless my emotions got under control first.
If I continued spending every second of every day with her, my feelings would only grow. It would become even harder for me to let her go than it already was.
But two days was already too damn much and my need to see her consumed me.
I opened her bedroom door and, in an instant, Kitty knelt before me, the obedient submissive.
My heart sank. Last time I walked in here, Kitty came up to me and kissed me. The welcome wasn’t the same anymore and I could feel the shift in the atmosphere.
I gritted my teeth, hating myself because this was my doing. Kitty was supposed to be having the time of her life. She was young and full of so much potential. She was supposed to shine with the vibrancy of life, but I’d made her a slave to my pleasures.
A part of me didn’t regret it.
If I hadn’t started the contract, we never would have met.
But maybe that was all she wanted. Maybe John was right and she was only here for money and sex, and anything more was just wishing on my end.
“Stand up, Kitty,” I told her. She kept her head bowed and eyes downcast, but I didn’t want my submissive now. I wanted her. “Would you like to join me for lunch?”
Kitty still hadn’t looked up to meet my eyes, but she nodded. “Yes, Master.”
I clenched my jaw and crossed her room, heading for her closet and picking out a dress. “Here, put this on.”
As always, Kitty looked beautiful. The cobalt blue dress contrasted with her skin and complimented her hair. But her brown eyes, that I craved to see, stared at the floor instead of me.
We’d never had a chance to use the dining room, opting for eating in her room, but today, I wanted to have a real meal together.
The smell of roast duck with wild rice and carrots filled the room as we sat across from each other. The kitchen staff was busy setting our meal up as Kitty and I simply sat there. She was finally looking at me, but there was no emotion in her gaze. Had my spanking in the playroom been so bad that she was completely distancing herself from?
“Kitty…” I didn’t know how to tell her sorry without breaking all my walls, without telling her I loved her and begging her to stay. “Never mind,” I said and cleared my throat.
She thanked the server who set her plate down and turned back to face me, but her face was still blank.
She looked…hollow.
It’s how I felt.
The only girl I’d ever wanted in my entire life was sitting right in front of me yet I couldn’t have her, she couldn’t be mine.
How could life be that cruel?
“Are you excited for RISD?” I asked, trying to make conversation. The silence that surrounded us was deafening.
Kitty nodded. “Yes,” was all she said.
I pursed my lips. “I’ve settled everything for you there, other than the payment for the school,” I told her, trying to coax her back to life.
It worked. Emotion, even if it was confusion, decorated her face. “What do you mean?”
I took a sip of my wine. “Your clothes and everything you need for school will be ready and in your apartment when you get there.”
Kitty put down her fork. “My apartment?”
“I may have taken the liberty of finding you a place. It’s paid in advance so you don’t need to worry about that.”
“You…you didn’t need to do all of that.” She took a small sip of her wine. “But, thank you, Connor.”
My heart skipped a beat at the sound of my name coming from her mouth. She had that much of an effect on me. “I wanted to. It’s my way of thanking you.”
Kitty bit her bottom lip, but didn’t say a word. The mere action triggered the alpha in me and it took everything I had to restrain myself from knocking the food off the table and taking her right here.
I took a deep breath, calming the animal in me, as Kitty rolled the peas around on her plate. She’d only eaten a few small bites of her meal. My eyebrows furrowed. She had finally started eating decent-sized meals in these last few weeks, unlike when she first got here. But then again, she was happier during those weeks and right now, there wasn’t even a glint of joy in her eyes.
“Kitty,” I said, calling her attention. She looked up to meet my gaze, “why aren’t you eating?”
She glanced at her food and shrugged. “I’m not that hungry.”
My eyes narrowed. “The meal is delicious. You shouldn’t starve yourself.”
“I know what it is to starve and this,” she waved her fork between the food and herself, “isn’t it.”
“You should still eat, Kitty. It’s not healthy to skip meals.”
“What size clothes did you get for me when I start RISD?”
“What?” I asked, taken back by the question. What did it matter? “I told my assistant to get the size you where now and some in the next size up as well. The ‘freshman fifteen’ would look amazing on you. Not that you aren’t beautiful now too,” I added quickly.
Even with Kitty eating decent meals regularly, she hadn’t really gained much over the month, always burning the calories off with sex.
“But adding to your curves would drive me insane. I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you. You’ll always be beautiful to me, Kitty.”
Something flashed in her eyes and I couldn’t restrain myself any longer. The kitchen staff would leave us alone. My staff knew when to step back.
I walked over to Kitty, taking her hand and drawing her up to me.
“You�
��re beautiful,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around her waist and capturing her lips with mine. The kiss wasn’t rough like before, nor was it as slow and tantalizing like they’d been recently. There was something else coating the kiss.
There was longing.
Longing to have her stay, to have her love me the way I loved her.
The kiss heated as she pressed herself against my body. Passion and desire radiated from her, fueling the throbbing in my pants. There were suddenly too many barriers between us.
She unhooked the button on my pants as I drew the zipper on her dress down, enjoying the way the soft material easily fell to the ground. But it wasn’t enough. I ripped off her bra and kicked my pants off, my shirt already discarded on the floor.
In one swift motion, I grabbed Kitty’s ass and lifted her onto the table. She arched her naked breasts toward me and I took the invitation, sucking on her nipples, filling my mouth with her tits. She moaned as I licked and bit her delicate skin, loving every moment of it.
My hand crept from her breast to her stomach and then between her thighs. My cock twitched when I felt her bare of any panties and already soaking. “You’re fucking wet for me, Kitty.”
“I always am,” she whispered back, her hand running through my hair, tousling it even more.
I didn’t care that she was touching me. Usually, I enjoyed the power that restraining her gave me, or the high of commanding her when she was allowed to touch. But right now I only wanted her—all of her, unstrained. I craved her touch the way she craved mine.
I knelt before her, worshiping her at her core. Her juices were warm against my lips and I lapped her up. She gasped and moaned at the contact.
“Oh, Master!” she shouted breathily. As much as I loved hearing her scream my name, when she let it slip, the alpha in me still went wild when she called me master.
I sucked on her clit and traced a finger along her folds, up and down, teasing her with my touch. Her legs rested over both my shoulders and I felt her starting to shake, coming close to climaxing.
“Do you want more?” I asked with a lick to her folds.
“Yes, please,” she begged. “Please don’t stop, Master.”
I plunged my fingers into her and she gasped, coming for me as my hand pumped into her and my tongue rubbed her clit.
“Oh, oh master,” she cried out, arching her back as the orgasm took over. She dug her hands into my hair, twining them tighter as she rode the waves of pleasure and I continued to finger fuck and lick her.
She let out a long breathy sigh, relaxing her grip on my hair, and looked down at me with lust-filled eyes.
I stood up, lifting her off the table, and said, “Kneel.”
She dropped to her knees immediately, and I growled at the sight of her, naked and mine for the taking.
Kitty didn’t even need to hear my next command as her mouth began to suck my hard cock. She massaged my balls and licked her way up to the tip of my dick, flicking her tongue out and tasting the pre-cum already there. Her hand pumped me, gripping tight, as she sucked me even harder, deeper.
Grunting with the need for more, I grabbed her face and hauled her up, shoving all the dishes away before laying her on the table. I would have her for a meal.
“I want you to beg, Kitty,” I said and teased her folds with my cock. “Let me hear you beg.”
“Please, Master. Please fuck me. I need you. I need to feel your thick cock fucking me relentlessly,” she said. “Fill me with you cock, Master. You’ve deprived me of your touch for so long.”
I plunged my dick inside of her, loving the feel of her tight pussy, and fucked her rough like she enjoyed.
She moaned, breathes coming in short gasps, as she wrapped her legs around my waist. I grabbed her hips, pulling her to me while I pumped into her, enjoying the way her tits bounced with the movement. God, this woman was perfect. I could fuck her every day and never have enough of her.
I pulled out of Kitty, guiding her to the floor with me, moving her on top as we laid on the ground. I wanted to see those tits bouncing up and down and she rode me. She’d never been on top of me like this before, except when she straddled me in the bathroom at the observatory, but that was different.
Kitty looked at me for a second, unsure of what she was supposed to do.
“Ride me,” I told her.
She grinded her hips against me and I groaned at the sensation. My hands flew to her hips, lifting her up for a moment and then back down.
Fuck she felt so good, and the sight of her breasts from this view had my cock growing even harder.
Kitty bobbed above me, up and down, hands pressing into my chest and head tipped back in pleasure as she rode me.
It had only been a few days since we’d had sex, but the deprivation ignited our passion.
“Oh master,” she cried out, enjoying the new angle that my cock was hitting her at. I bucked my hips at her and she came undone. “Yes, Connor,” she screamed my name, again and again, as the orgasm consumed her.
Hearing my name from her lips as she climaxed sent me over the edge too. Her tight pussy clenched around my thick cock as I came, filling her with my heat.
“Fuck,” I said with a grunt, relishing the orgasm Kitty had given me. “You’re fucking perfect.”
Kitty moan, savoring the remnants of pleasure as she slowed her pace, shifting gently up and down on my dick, stretching my climax and taking all of my cum.
I was panting by the time she stopped, her strength giving as she toppled onto me. She didn’t slide off of me, just rested against my chest. I wanted to stay buried in her forever.
She lifted her head, looking at me with eyes glazed over by desire. I waited for her to say something, but she stayed silent as a flash of sadness filled her gaze.
She knew this couldn’t last too. That our end was coming too quickly.
I couldn’t take it any anymore. A minute longer with her would cause me to break, to be selfish and beg her to stay.
Carefully, I lifted her off of me and got up. The sorrow in her eyes fractured my heart, but I wouldn’t be greedy. Not with her future.
“Here,” I said, grabbing her abandoned dress from the floor and handing it to her. I needed to be the cool and collected dominant, not a pitiful pile of longing and remorse.
I yanked my pants on before grabbing my shirt, not bothering to even wear it. The dining room was a mess too, but I didn’t care. The staff would clean it up. I just needed to get away from Kitty or I would break completely.
Without looking at her, I said, “We’re done for today.”
Chapter Nineteen
Kitty
When I woke up the next day, there was a note taped to the door.
Wear the clothes that have been prepared for you and go to the playroom. Put on the blindfold and wait for me there.
I rubbed my eyes and glanced around, finding a small pile of neatly folded lingerie topped with a black silk blindfold.
With a sigh, I headed straight to the bathroom to take a quick shower, making sure to shave the small bit of hair that had started re-growing and to scent myself with one of the spritzes.
The lingerie Connor had picked out was nothing like the flimsy fabrics stocked in my wardrobe. This was leather with metal ribbing, a full on black bustier, with six-inch strappy heels to match. The outfit screamed dominatrix and not at all what I felt comfortable in, but Connor wanted it and I had to oblige.
Despite what my outfit looked like, Connor would be the one dominating me and not the other way around—I wasn’t even sure I’d enjoy that. But the promises that the blindfold held had me shivering in anticipation.
The playroom was empty when I arrived, so I knelt in the middle of the room and put the blindfold on, waiting for my alpha to arrive. Within a few minutes, the door opened and Connor’s footsteps moved closer and closer to me.
He stepped behind me, running his hands in my hair and after a minute, I realized he’d braided it down my back.
/> “Get on your hands and knees,” Connor commanded.
A sharp stinging sensation hit my ass after I got down on all four. It filled my body with pleasure as Connor’s hand connected with my ass again and again. The blindfolded heightened my other senses, making the pain and pleasure even more.
Connor continued to spank me and I begged for more. “More, Master, more please.” It wasn’t enough. I was moaning in pleasure and craving more pain. It surprised me. Who would’ve thought that innocent little me would have found enjoyment in the two together? I used to be so cautious, but now Connor could spank me as hard as possible, leave red marks all over my body, and I’d love it. Hell, I didn’t even care if he made me bleed.
“Hit me harder, Master. Leave your mark all over my body,” I hissed, anticipating his next move. “I want to see where your hands have hit me when I bathe later. Remind me even when you’re not with me of who my dominant is. I can take it, Master. My body can take so much more.”
I’d grown so accustomed to the spanking that my words weren’t a bluff—even if he spanked hard enough to cause me to bleed. I could imagine Connor gritting his teeth and narrowing his eyes at me, the passion burning in his blue eyes.
Connor grabbed my hair and dragged me across the room. He locked my upper body in what must have been the pillory and chained my feet as well. I waited for what he was going to do to me next, the anticipation arousing me.
Something cold slapped my ass and I gasped at the contact. The burning sensation that it brought sizzled through my entire body, making me yearn for more.
I had no idea what kind of instrument Connor was using to spank me, but the hard slaps echoed around the room, followed by my gasps and moans of ecstasy. With each smack, Connor grunted from the force and I’d never felt more aroused in any of our previous sessions.
“What do you want, Kitty?” Connor growled, grabbing my hair forcefully. I felt his fingers as they caressed my throat and groaned at the gesture, hot tears streaming down my face that his unrelenting spanking caused.
His Filthy Game: A Romance Compilation Page 14