Totem

  “Everything ok?” asks Ty

  “Yes, I just realized I slept through half my class. I am missing it now as we speak.”

  “You can miss one class.” He says as he leans over sleepily and kisses my cheek.

  I turn my body so that I am facing him. His sleepy eyes search my face longingly as his hands wrap tighter around me. I search his face willing my mind to believe what my senses feel. Ty is so attractive and I cannot believe he is cuddling with me in my bed. He leans in and gives me a tender kiss sending my heart racing even more. Warmth fills me as my body registers Ty’s kiss. I never want this feeling to get old.

  Each touch is still new. Each kiss still holds meaning. I savor his slow kisses all too aware of the questions looming. I do not want the answers. I do not want my image of my perfect guy to be shattered. I give him a kiss delaying the inevitable and driving off my questions one moment longer.

  Perhaps it will be good to shatter the image. In my mind, Ty is the perfect guy for me with no flaws, but in all actuality that is not what I want. No one is perfect. I am not perfect and in the end, I want the infinite love of somebody who loves me for my flaws and all. I want to love an imperfect person. For we are all imperfect people and for two faltered people to create a perfect love is the sweetest thing the world has ever seen. Nothing else compares. I take a deep breath as Ty lands one more exemplary kiss on my lips before pulling away.

  Will his kisses still be perfect? I think as I prepare myself to speak.

  “Ty,” I begin hesitantly. “We need to talk.”

  “I know.”

  His eyes lock on mine. My courage falters. A part of me did not want to know the answers to my questions. All I want to do is get lost in his embrace. I want to shut out the world around us and exist in this pure sweet moment wrapped in his arms, but that isn’t the real world. The real world is filled with school, tests, uncertainty, and above all a vampire that wants me dead. Any future we have relies on answers. I open my mouth to speak. Before words can come out, Ty stops them with kisses and I am all too aware that we are lying together in a bed. Our first time in a bed seems to have an effect on Ty whose lips find mine urgently. His hands roam across the contours of my body. I close my eyes savoring the messages each body part he touches sends me as I return his kiss with even more passionate kisses of my own. My hands find his hair first as they caress through the long strands slowly wondering down towards his chest. His chest is strong and muscular leaving it hard to the touch. I move further down hoping to claim the bare skin revealed by his shirt rising up. I grab his hips and free my leg from the blanket to wrap around him as my hand begins to explore the touch of his skin without clothing. My fingers move across his stomach tracing the top of his boxers. His body jumps in response. Ty lets out a laugh through his teeth.

  “That tickles.” He states then goes back to kissing me.

  The kisses become more frantic. His hands wonder to my shorts. He frames my butt and pulls me closer to him and I feel our hips touching. The shear act takes me by surprise and an involuntary moan rises from my lips and into his kiss.

  All too quickly, the kisses stop. I open my eyes to see Ty staring back at me. My cheeks flush slightly embarrassed by my all too forward sexuality. I flash him an awkward smile and bury my head in his chest. I hear a low chuckle as I feel his chest move and he is caressing my hair. Lulled by his lighthearted response, I nuzzle him for a few more minutes allowing time for my hormones to get back in check. As soon as I regain composure, I look up into his eyes. They are smoldering as he looks down at me with an animal like urge that I have never seen from him before. I want to pursue it. Like a lioness in a position to catch her prey, I wanted to pounce. Immediately I decide against it. I am in control of myself now and a few minutes of pursuing pleasure means all hope of getting the answers I so desperately need will be lost.

  “Who was the man who attacked me?” I blurt out.

  I know Ty knows what I am talking about. I watch as the fire in his eyes disappears. He lets out a sigh. His eyes wander up towards the ceiling.

  “I know you know who he is or even what he is. He told me he was a vampire.”

  Ty looks back at me. His eyes searching mine looking for what, I have no idea.

  “What do you think he is?” Ty asks.

  “A vampire,” I respond hesitantly. It still seems hard to believe as I say it.

  “He is a vampire.” Ty replies.

  His answer is so straight forward that it sounds cold. A chill rises up my spine. I thought he would deny it. I thought he would make up some excuse to explain away the eyes and the teeth. I thought he would give me some lie for the way the attacker moves, but all I got was the truth. I did not know if I wanted the truth.

  “He has been watching you for a while now.”

  My heart quickens as fear bubbles up inside me. More questions begin to come to mind. How did Ty know the vampire is watching me?

  “Do you trust me?”

  “What?”

  “Do you trust me?” His question becoming more authoritative the second time he says it.

  “Yes.” I reply.

  I knew it to be true the second that one word left my lips. I did not need time to think about my response or mull over the countless possibilities my mind has to offer. I know I trust him. Ty kisses my forehead then locks his eyes on mine. His gaze is so intense that I cannot look away.

  “I will never let anyone hurt you. You have to know that. Even when I am not with you, know that you are absolutely safe. You do not need to worry when I do not answer my phone. You just need to know and trust that you will be safe.”

  With those comforting words, Ty pulls me into his chest wrapping his arms around me. I know he is speaking the truth. He will always be there to rescue me but I have to push for more answers.

  “The vampire said I didn’t know what you are and that I should ask you. I did not know what he meant but I need to know the truth. So what are you? Are you human?”

  The mood in the room changes with my words. I cannot pin the exact feeling filtering through. So I wait. I wait for his response in silence listening to the small pounding of his heart. The sound is beautiful. Why didn’t he answer my question right away?

  “I am very much human.” Ty replies letting out a sigh. “You just have trust me that I will keep you safe. Anything else that I tell you will only put you in more danger. The less you know about me, the better.”

  He kisses my forehead. I feel warmth radiating from him like I am lying in the sun. Ty is my light. I have to trust him. It is my only choice.

  “What happened to your cell phone?”

  “The vampire crushed it.”

  “That seems about up to par with them. Well, we should go get you a new one.”

  “I called my mom from Michelle’s phone. She is placing money in my bank account but it won’t process through until tomorrow.”

  “That won’t do.” Ty remarks. “How will I call you tonight?”

  “I guess you will have to wait until tomorrow.”

  “That definitely won’t do. Get changed and I’ll take you to dinner then buy you a new phone.”

  “The dinner part, yes, but I can’t let you spend money on me for a new phone. It would be too much.”

  Ty lifts up my chin so that I am looking directly in his eyes. His smile is reassuring. He leans in and gives me another kiss.

  “I insist on buying you a phone. Now get dressed.”

  “I need a shower first.” I reply planting sweet kisses on his lips.

  “Get to it.”

  I hop down from the bed excited at the fact I will be spending the afternoon with Ty. I have reservations about him buying me a cell phone but I did not know how to approach it. I will have to figure out a way to pay him back.

  Within no time, I am clean and showered. I step out of the bathroom wrapped in my towel. Ty is still where I left him lying comfortably on my bed. The sight of me in nothing more than a towel makes hi
m perk up. He shoots me a crooked smile as he sits up in bed. I return his smile as I walk over to my wardrobe and open it. I glance back at Ty. His eyes are locked on me watching my every move. All of a sudden I get a bright idea. I shoot him a flirtatious smile as I bend down to retrieve a pair of underwear from the drawer. The towel rises up stopping just before the creases of my butt. I stand up nonchalantly glancing back at Ty. He is sitting upright in bed watching me. I smile at myself knowing full well from the expression on his face that I have his full attention.

  With the towel still wrapped around my body and my back to Ty, I slip on the panties. I slide them up my legs being careful not to reveal anything. I glance back flashing him a sly smile. He leans his head on his elbow as his body shifts to the side. His chocolate brown eyes are fixated on me as animal longing rises up in them. With panties situated in place, I shoot him one more smile and drop the towel exposing my back side. The only article of clothing keeping me from being completely naked is my bikini style underwear. I put my clothes on tantalizingly slow all the time not looking at Ty. I know he will be watching. He waits until I am fully dressed to hop out of the bed. In two strides he is across the room and scooping me up into his arms. My feet lift off the ground and he kisses my neck first before finding my lips.

  “What are you trying to do to me girl?”

  “Nothing you haven’t already done to me.” I retort.

  A crooked smile creeps over his face as he lowers me to the ground. Even in this virtually innocent moment, I am teased by Ty. I want him in every way he will let me have him. Was it just infatuation? Maybe hormones have a part in it. Either way I have fallen for the mysterious person in front of me. Not even the threat of a vampire can keep me away from him. My mind absent mindedly wanders back to the warning the vampire heeded about Ty. Whatever he was or is couldn’t be bad. That just wouldn’t be him.

  “Get your shoes on so we can head out. Which cell phone provider do you have?”

  “You really don’t have to get me a cell phone.” I reply. “My mom is sending money and I will be able to go pick one out tomorrow.”

  “I know, but I want to.” He says. “Consider it a gift.”

  I did not know how to kindly deny his gift without sounding mean. Dropping the subject, I throw on some flip flops and grab my purse. I write a note for Michelle letting her know what I am doing and leave it on her desk. I quickly analyze my note placement and figure it will be the best spot for Michelle to see it when she walks into the room. I turn on my heels and make my way out of my dorm. Ty grabs my hand as we walk down the hallway. My heart beats faster at his innocent yet public display of affection as we walk down the stairs and out the side door to the parking lot. I search for Ty’s bronco or mustang but am disappointed when I do not spot them. Instead, he leads me to a silver car set away from the rest of the parked cars. I watch the headlights flash as an audible click rings out when Ty unlocks the car with his remote.

  “Is this your car too?” I ask in disbelief as he holds open the passenger door for me.

  “One of them.” Ty replies again.

  “Where’s the mustang?”

  “It’s in the shop.”

  I stare in amazement at the interior as I hop into the silver BMW convertible which Ty states is one of his many cars. He shuts the door behind enclosing me in the car. I am alone for a brief few moments. I take the time to admire the interior which is immaculately clean. I run my fingers across the panels as I gaze at the dashboard. It is as if he has never driven this car.

  Ty opens the driver side door and hops into the seat. He shoots me one of his sideways smiles and I feel my heart melting again.

  “So how come you don’t drive this car more often?”

  “I don’t like to drive it around very much. It is too flashy. Plus I would rather drive around something that I don’t mind getting beat up. New Orleans streets can be brutal.”

  “Then why do you have it?”

  Ty pauses for a second pondering my question. He turns on the engine then finds a radio station to listen to.

  “Good point. I think because it was a present. With the way my… family is, it is disrespectful to turn down… gifts. It’s just like now where I want to get you a gift.”

  He winks at me as he makes his point. I can’t believe he parlayed my questions into a statement about his cell phone being a gift. I roll my eyes in protest.

  “But I am not family.” I state.

  “No, but you are someone I care about. So that is like family.”

  My cheeks blush as his sweet words catch me by surprise. My heart begins to race and I have to look away to hide my big goofy grin. When I got it all under control, I look back at him with a normal smile. His words have the reaction he was looking for. With a big, crooked smile, he leans in and gives me a peck on the lips. He places the car in drive. His eyes linger on mine before shifting to the road as we quickly race away.

  Chapter 10: An awkward night

  I stare down at my cell phone willing it to ring. Willing a text to appear from a man who has been absent from my life for the past two weeks. He had warned me that he had to go out of town. I remember feeling disappointment rise up as the thoughts of not seeing him for a few weeks popped in my head. For the first time, Ty was completely inaccessible. I saw him almost every day and texted him even more. The thought of him being gone from sight was bearable but not wanted. He had told me that he had business to attend to. He had also left me with a list of cautionary steps and words that sounded more like demands.

  First, I was not supposed to go out at night alone. I should always be with a friend. Going with a group of people would be even better. Second was Michelle and I needed to close our blinds at night when we were in the room. Michelle protested this one a little because we were high up enough so that people below could not look in. I simply made up an excuse about the morning light bothering me as it filtered through the window. She allowed it after a little sulking. Above all else, I was not to call or text him unless it was an emergency. Ty told me that he was not allowed to have a cell phone but that he is breaking the rules for me. In light of everything that has happened, he wanted to make sure I could reach him. With this final list of demands and a lasting kiss, he left me only days after I found out vampires are real.

  Two weeks later, I am sitting at my desk in my room studying for yet another round of tests. I look down at the orange box that Ty had replaced my broken cell phone with. The LG looked up at me with its small screen. For as bulky as it is, it is actually really cool. The phone opens up revealing an even bigger screen and a keyboard for typing texts. It can even connect to the internet. Ty happily agreed to hook up the internet for me and even pay, but I knew my parents would be mad if I did that. I let out another sigh. How I wish I can talk to him. It has been too long. I look at my computer with the web page opened up to my teacher’s study tools. I skim through my notes. I am quickly losing my discipline to study. I open up another internet browser and begin searching the web haphazardly looking for things that will catch my attention. I aim to find anything that will distract me from studying. To no avail I close it then lean back in my seat.

  I hear the door click open and look up to see Michelle and Andrew walking in to the room. A huge smile crosses my face at the site of Michelle’s big shopping bag. It is like she is on a mission to buy out the store every time she goes shopping. We never discuss money, but from the site of her shopping bags and the lack of a job, I imagine her parents are sending her a hefty living allowance every month. My parents give me money, but it only seems to be enough to live by and occasionally go out.

  “Hey, boo,” exclaims Andrew. “Are you still studying for those tests?”

  “Yeah,” I say. “I am determined to try and turn that B into an A.”

  I have been working on that biology grade for forever. The bio test is not for another week, but my sociology and psychology grades are already secured as A’s. It is the biology grade that threaten
s my perfect 4.0. So study I must.

  “A’s are overrated.” Andrew scoffs.

  “Oh really?” I ask skeptical.

  “Yes,” states Andrew. “It’s just a grade and in the end, it will not help you at all for a job. Jobs are all about getting the experience and training. Getting a degree in English is not going to help unless you know how to teach it or already have hook ups to get a book published. Those hook ups only come from working it or knowing someone. The same goes with other jobs. You can learn all the mundane facts about biology, but in the end, you will learn what you need to know on the job or you will have to receive more training at an advanced school.”

  “Yeah, an advanced school that you have to get into with a good GPA.” I retort.

  “Are you going to grad school?”

  “I don’t know yet,” I reply, “but I would like to leave that option on the table.”

  “Fair enough,” replies Andrew. “So when are you going to be done studying? We should watch a movie.”

  I slump in my chair letting out one more frustrated sigh. I look at the clock. I have been at this study thing for nearly three hours. It is definitely time for a break. I feel a slight hunger pain rise in my stomach as my mind begins to wonder towards all the things that I have been neglecting in my effort to better my grade. I close my books and look up at Andrew who meets my eyes with a big giant grin.

  “Now,” I respond smiling. “I have done enough studying for today. I do want to go to the store though and rummage for something that is somewhat healthy for dinner. Is that ok with you?”

  “Absolutely, my boo! I’ll go with you. I’m kind of hungry myself.”

  After a few minutes, Andrew and I walk back into my dorm room with snacks in hand. As usual, there is very little healthy food in the store. I did manage to find raw carrots, celery, and broccoli in a cup. I also purchased a lean pocket. I can see my mom now smiling and shaking her head at my dinner. It is very much a dinner made for a college kid who is too lazy to walk to the cafeteria. In our case, no cafeteria is open on a Sunday after 3 pm. Not enough of the student body lives on campus to make it worth while. Most of the time, I do not mind. New Orleans is a vast city with an infinite amount of options for food. I almost want to go out all the time, but tonight is a stay-at-home type of night. I pop the lean pocket in the microwave as Andrew makes himself comfy on Michelle’s bed. Michelle rummages through her movie collection looking for something to watch.