Totem

  This is it, I think. I should have run when Michelle told us to.

  We stand there as still as can be frozen with fear, but before anything can be done the man with the red eyes is gone along with his detached appendage. Buckets of blood spilt like wet paint and a bent fence act as proof of the unnatural occurrence. I cannot believe it. He was there one minute and then in a split instance he is gone like magic. Michelle and I stand there grasping each other not saying a word. Is it over? We cannot tell. It all happened so fast. Our minds need time to process. I stare blankly at the spot where moments ago there was a fight. I look down at the pool of blood left on the street. Then my eyes draw to the dark garden behind the fence. I look to the spot where the wolf, the beast that saved us was thrown darkness encasing it. Is it dead? Is it injured? All I know is that we should have been dead, but this creature, this guardian rescued us. Now it lies alone in the dark. Compassion for this creature rises in my heart. Not meaning to, I begin walking forward.

  “What are you doing?!” Whispers Michelle menacingly.

  For reasons I cannot understand myself, I know I have to see the creature. I know that, if anything I have to make sure it is alright.

  “I need to see if the thing is alive.”

  “The wolf?! You mean that oversized dog?” Michelle hisses. “Kimber, we NEED to go. As if the fight with Daniel wasn’t enough, some psycho coke head tries to kill us and then the guy thinks the dog is with YOU. I do believe this has just claimed gold on my Olympic list of bad nights.”

  Ignoring Michelle’s rant, I search the fence looking for a way in. One thing New Orleans did a great job of is keeping people out of this garden during the hours it is closed. I look around. There is nothing I can do but try and climb it.

  “I am going to have to climb it.” I state.

  “What?!” Michelle looks at me with a mixture of disgust and disbelief. “Are you KIDDING?!”

  “Help me up.” I command unperturbed by Michelle’s comments.

  “Ugh.”

  She is lost. She did not want to help, but she did not want to walk away from the only other person she knew on the street. She is trapped. She skulks over to the fence to hoist me up. I visually scan the fence weighing out the best possibilities for getting over. Before I can get a good grip on the bar there comes a shuffling noise from behind us. I turn and look. There walking towards us is Ty.

  His black leather jacket is zipped up all the way and his jeans are loosely hanging off his hips. It would have been sexy, but there is a look of pain on his face. Michelle immediately leaves my side and runs up to hug him. He braces himself ever so slightly as the little woman throws herself into him. I swear I see a wince cross his face before quickly disappearing. I walk up slowly in disbelief. Excitement rises up at the sight of the man who makes my heart flutter. I wanted to smile. I wanted to run and kiss him, but he has also left me alone for weeks without a phone call leaving me worried about where he is. Why is he out here? The question sinks into me causing a tinge of anger. He is back in New Orleans and he didn’t see me first. I know our relationship is not defined, but I hoped he would have at least texted me he was back.

  “Hey you.” He states endearingly as he reaches and give me a one handed hug with his right arm.

  “Hey babe,” I state cautiously. Ty leans down and kisses my lips tenderly.

  Warmth rises up at this simple act. It is a hope that everything is okay. It is hope that Ty and I are fine, but with that warmth came the numbing pain that not everything is as it should be. The feeling left me confused, weak and vulnerable.

  “You would not believe the night we had.” Michelle begins.

  “Are you walking to your car?” Ty asks before Michelle begins her story.

  “Yeah,” responds Michelle.

  “I’ll walk you two there.”

  My eyes flutter over the fence. I still want to know what happened to the wolf, but my need to be with Ty outweighs my curiosity. There are so many things Ty and I have to discuss. I give one more glance to the fence before resolving to drop the idea of finding the wolf. Even if I make it to the other side, I did not know how I was going to get back across. I extend one silent thank you in the direction where the beast lay before we leave.

  “Good,” begins Michelle again. “This night has been hell. First, Daniel ticks me off. Then as we were walking back this coke head guy tries to attack us. Then a giant dog came and bit the crap out of his arm.”

  I guess Michelle didn’t see the bloody stump the guy was sporting after he threw the wolf. I walk silently with Ty holding my hand. I look at him wearily. There is something wrong with Ty. He smiles weakly at me while Michelle begins her endless pursuit of her story covering and repeating all the details of the night. Finally, we reach Michelle’s car and I feel Ty give my hand a little squeeze.

  “Well, I will leave you ladies here safely at your ride.”

  He lets go of my hand and opens the door for me. As he reaches his jacket lifts up revealing a small sliver of his stomach. My heart begins to beat faster as my mouth drops. There, trickling down in a stream is blood. I look closer at his jeans and the growing dark spot on his pants finally registers in my mind. He is bleeding. Noticing the look on my face, Ty quickly releases the door and his jacket falls back down covering it up. I look at him.

  “I think I should probably go with Ty.”

  I turn towards Michelle. She looks at me annoyed. After this whole night, I know all she wants to do is talk to me more about everything. It is one of those times she didn’t want to share me with Ty. I give her a look right back. She rolls her eyes and nods her head in acknowledgment.

  “No.” Ty argues. “I will be fine. You two should go.”

  “No.” I hiss back at him. “I insist.”

  I lean in and whisper in his ear so that Michelle can’t hear.

  “I saw the blood, Ty. You’re not alright.”

  He looks flustered. I am sure a stern girl around him is the last thing he wants.

  “I didn’t drive my car down here.” He whispers back.

  I feel anger raging inside. Blood pulsates through my veins as I think the worst of the situation. This is really shipping up to be a horrible night.

  “Then we can take you home.” I reply this time loud enough for Michelle to hear.

  Ty looks into my face. He is lost and pleading but I will not budge. The whole reason I went out tonight was to relax and get my mind off Ty. I wanted to blame all the incidents that had happened tonight on him, but I know it is not true. My thoughts are not logical. They are emotional. The night was my decision but I cannot help but to hold the man who holds me at arm’s length responsible. Not only that, but I find him out here wondering the streets bleeding. To top it off, he doesn’t have his car. Maybe he went out with his friends and they drove. Was he with another girl? I suppress the thought temporarily concentrating all my efforts on to this little battle in front of me. Ty is hurt and alone if we leave. He needs to accept my help and get in the car. I shoot him a stern look.

  “I insist.” I state leaving no room for argument.

  Ty looks at me then at Michelle who nods her head agreeing with me. He lets out a sigh and makes his way to the back seat. He hops in carefully making sure the side with the blood does not touch anything in Michelle’s car. I want to hop in the back seat and face Ty, but knew I am already pushing my luck with Michelle.

  I take my seat in the front. Michelle turns on the car with a sigh of relief that the night is finally at an end. We drive off as Ty gives directions to his house from the French Quarter. He knows the streets by heart which is something I haven’t mastered yet. I look out the window as we drive down Canal Street. Even at 2:00 am, swarms of people wonder around with drinks in hand and beads around their necks. The light turns red at the street where Bourbon Street meets Canal. I look down Bourbon to see a brass band set up on the corner. The sound of New Orleans jazz drifts into the car as we sit waiting for the light to change. Further
down the street is a sea of people ebbing and flowing under the flashing colors casted by the signs. It is a world of light so deep in contrast from the darkness in front of the cathedral. The light changes and we wonder further along Canal Street. The tall buildings of the city give way to houses and small businesses. The crowds of people in the French Quarter disappear and the only thing to fill the streets is darkness. We follow Canal Street all the way down making the awkward turn between the cemeteries and passed the bar I am too young to enter. Perhaps one of the only bars I cannot find a way in.

  After a couple more turns, we are passing the sailboats parked in the Marina. High rise condos with manicured lawns greet us on the other side of the road. My mind drifts briefly away from my anger as I awe in the diversity of the city. In only fifteen minutes, we managed to go from the French Quarter, skirt past the high rises in the outer parts of the business district. Then through an old style New Orleans neighborhood area immediately passing upper middle class neighborhoods and into a harbor with sailboats, condos and boat houses. The city has so many different faces all of which I love. Despite all their differences, there is a uniform energy that ebbs and flows between them making them one. I take a deep breath allowing my uneasy feeling to fall back over me. In a few short moments, we will be at Ty’s house and I still do not know what I will do or say.

  An internal struggle is going on. My heart wants to cry out to Ty and ask for the truth. The right side of my mind thinks up creative and outlandish stories as to why Ty has been absent from my life. My left side rationalizes it. Either way, I am facing a losing battle if I keep all my thoughts inside. It all needs to be released and the only man who can help is sitting in the back seat bleeding. We pull up to the boat house all too soon.

  “THIS is where you live?!” Michelle is in awe as she pulls up to the gates.

  I look at the beautiful wrought iron work. True to Ty’s word, his bronco and mustang are both parked on the other side of the fence. Sarah’s car, however, is missing. She must have a night shift at the hospital.

  “Yep,” replies Ty. “Home sweet home.”

  I hear the weakness in his voice. I cannot tell if it is from the wound or my icy cold treatment of him. He opens the door and steps out.

  “Thank you so much for the ride.” He says to Michelle.

  Then he turns his attention toward me. Michelle rolls down my window from her side.

  THANKS Michelle, I think angrily.

  He looks in my eyes. I glare at him not knowing what to say. The only thing I feel right now is hurt. He attempts a smile which falters when he sees the reaction it has on me. Quickly I look away. I don’t have to look at him to tell he is hurting in more ways than one. All I know is that I do not want a kiss. Once again as if reading my thoughts, he doesn’t try to kiss my lips. He leans down. I hear him wince at the pain under his jacket.

  “Hey,” he says.

  I look at him. He is kneeling at the edge of the car. Even for his height, this puts him lower than me. His eyes search my face longingly. In those brief moments I feel myself lightening up as I realize that everything that has happened would not matter to me if he loved me. I just needed to know. I feel myself surrender to him making my emotions fragile and my heart open to forgiveness.

  “Tell me what happened.” I whisper. Tears build up inside me.

  He searches my face some more. Sweet desperation crosses his as he looks up at me. He is so beautiful. His eyes are so genuine.

  “I wish I can.” He replies with a soft, rough voice of a man being truly genuine.

  The painful singe of bitter tears threatens to release from my eyes as I look away. Ty lets out a sigh. He leans in and kisses my cheek before rising. I roll the window up bitterly as I watch him walk away. He goes to the key code on the side of the fence and begins punching in numbers. I take in every ounce of him for fear it will be the last time I ever lay eyes on him.

  “What are you doing?”

  Michelle’s question shakes me out of my melodramatic moment and I turn to look at her. She looks me square in the eyes and laughs.

  “Look,” she begins. “You like Ty. He likes you. You are blowing things out of proportion. The best way to really know what is going on is to TALK to each other. Now, I know I had a shitty night and from the looks of it right now, you are having a shittier night. But your ending is not here in this car right now. It’s out there.”

  I look at Michelle. I cannot believe these words are coming from her mouth. It all seems so obvious to her. She tells me how it is but yet in her own love life, she is clueless. She could have stuck longer with Daniel tonight and worked it out with him, but she ran away. Now when I want to run away, she won’t let me.

  “Ok, here is what I am going to do. I am going to kick you out of my car and you are going to go in there and talk to Ty. Ok? And if for some reason you need a ride, you can always call me and I will be right back. Got it?”

  I nod my head. My voice escapes me as my mind tries to wrap around what just went down and what is about to go down. I open the door. My eyes wander towards Ty’s house. There he is, standing at the open gate about to walk through. I step out of the car. The gravel under my shoes crunches and Ty looks back. I cannot read his face. I close the door behind me. As soon as it is shut, Michelle zooms off leaving me with no choice but to go forward.

  “Kimber, what are you doing?”

  Ty’s voice is strained. I cannot tell what emotion is in it. Street lights cast shadows across his face leaving it unreadable. There is no going back. There is no car to retreat into. Michelle made sure of that. I take a step forward mustering up as much confidence as I can.

  “You’re hurt.” I state. “I want to make sure you’re ok.”

  “That is really not necessary.”

  Slightly wounded, I take another step forward knowing his house is my only option. I need to know the truth and get answers. I straighten my posture and make my steps purposeful. In all actuality, Ty is hurt.

  “Ty, I need to know that you are ok. I noticed Sarah’s car is gone. That wound looks pretty bad. What if you need to go to the hospital?”

  “Really, Kimber, I will be fine.”

  I am done talking. I grab Ty’s right hand and pull him inside the gate looking as stern as I can. He drags his feet like an unwilling child. When we get to the door, he retrieves a key from the above frame and unlocks it. Why Ty didn’t have the key in his pocket is beyond me. I push open the door and bring him in.

  “Where does Sarah keep her nurses kit at home?”

  “Under the kitchen sink,” replies Ty. “I really don’t need that. I will be fine.”

  “Ty, you have blood gushing down the left side of your hip and a huge stain on your jeans. You are not fine. Now take off your jacket.”

  I go quickly into the kitchen and retrieve the big grey medical kit. I place it on the island counter and retrieve gauze and rubbing alcohol. I walk back into the living room. Ty stands up in the middle of the room. His jacket is still on and a confused look is on his face.

  “Why isn’t your jacket off?” I ask as I place the gauze and bottle on the coffee table.

  “Kimber, there is something we need to talk about.”

  “Whatever it is,” I begin grabbing the zipper at the top of his jacket, “we can talk about it after I get you patched up.”

  Ty’s hands immediately grab mine. I look up into his eyes and melt a little. It’s a reaction that will always happen when I look into his eyes no matter how mad I am at him. They search my face pleading.

  “You have to trust me Ty.” I reply.

  “What if that’s not enough?”

  The question took me back. I did not know how it factored in to me cleaning his wound or if we are talking about something else. I look into his eyes coercing him to trust me. With his hands still on mine, I slowly begin to pull down the zipper. I feel each click as the metal separates revealing more of Ty’s skin. I gauge his reaction. He is not stopping me. I continue
without hesitation pulling the zipper down faster and faster as I go noticing that he is not wearing a shirt under his jacket. All I see is his gorgeous tan skin. Finally the zipper is at the end. I undo the last part and slowly pull open his jacket. Ty winces as my cold hands touch his overly heated skin.

  I see the blood pooled on his jeans. I see the trail as it goes up his body to his ribs then it stops. Confused I examine his body closer. The blood stops at a wound, but the wound looks weeks old. This cannot be the same wound causing all this blood. Ty looks at me closely examining my reaction.

  “But you are bleeding.” I state in disbelief. “There is no wound. Is this someone else’s blood?!”

  “No. It’s my blood and it came from that wound.”

  He points at the two week old partially healed skin. I gaze at his body in disbelief. I run my finger across his skin. Pulling my finger away, I exam the crimson liquid that sticks. The blood is still fresh. I look further up his body. There are bruises on his ribs. The bruises are faded.

  “Those are from tonight too.”

  I hear the hesitation in Ty’s voice as he gives me this information. My eyes search his body for other wounds or scars. There are none, just the two. I look closer at the wound and gasp disbelieving what my eyes see. The wound is healing. The bruises are fading with each passing second. What is Ty? I look up at him. Desperation crosses his face. The same desperate look I saw on…

  “The wolf.”

  The words escape my mouth as they instantaneously reach my mind.

  “The wolf… he was thrown up against a fence. It hit his left side…”

  I place my hand on the bruise. Ty winces under my touch. His skin is burning hot. I look up at him quizzically.

  “A few cracked ribs,” he responds. “They will heal by morning. So will the other wound. The metal fence tore my skin open as the vampire threw me over it.”