by Chloe Walsh
"I got a puppy," he mumbled. Strolling out of the kitchen, he returned a few minutes later with the ugliest fucking creature I'd ever seen in his hands.
"What the fuck is that?" I pointed at the ball of matted fur in his hands. I wasn't sure if I was looking at a dog or a gremlin.
"His name is Kevin," Derek said deadpan. "And I think he's a shiatsu. I found him last night on my way home from Bobby's. The poor guy was huddled behind the dumpster at the back of the bar."
"Kevin?" I shook my head and stepped forward to get a closer look. "Hate to tell you, dude, but he's not a puppy. Did you see the size of his…?"
"He was dumped, Kyle," Derek said in a tone which implied I should shut the fuck up. "He was freezing cold and starving. What the hell was I supposed to do, leave him there? Abandon him? Get a newer version instead? Something's are worth fixing. Sometimes people should fix the shit they have instead of running off and getting an upgrade."
What the hell was he talking about? I held my hands up in defense. "I didn't say you had…"
"I'm keeping him," Derek growled in a warning tone as he held the dog to his chest. "So don't even suggest an animal shelter."
"Fine," I said wearily as I started unpacking the groceries. "Keep the damn dog. Just give him a bath. He smells like ass."
"See, Kevin," Derek crooned. "He's just a big softie deep down."
Jesus, he was as moody as a woman.
"And for god's sake, don't tell Lee about Kevin," I growled. "The last thing I need right now is a dog. I have enough responsibilities."
"You liked Bruno," Derek said and I flinched. "Be honest, Kyle. You were attached to that old guy."
Yeah, I'd liked Lee's old Labrador, Bruno. I'd liked him a lot until he was poisoned last May. "He was different," I mumbled. "He smelled a hell of a lot better than Gismo over there."
"He'll grow on you," Derek chuckled as Kevin licked his face.
"Hey, Der," I said as I flicked on the kettle. "You ever walk in a girl when she's…using the bathroom?"
"Ha," Derek laughed and it was a rare sound. "You fucking idiot." Placing the dog on the floor, he folded his arms across his chest and grinned at me. "What was her weapon of choice?"
"Shampoo bottle," I muttered.
"Could have been worse," he chuckled. "I walked in on Cam once. She threatened to castrate me in my sleep with a blunt scissors–after she wacked me on the head with the toilet paper holder."
"That's nothing," I chuckled.
"It was a metal toilet paper holder, Kyle," he added in a serious tone. "I ended up with two stiches." I laughed out loud when he ducked his head and showed me the small scar on the back of his head. "You need to be careful, dude," he warned. "Women are really weird about shit like that."
"That's what I don't understand," I said in exasperation. "What's the big deal?"
"I have no clue," he replied. "But here are my words of wisdom from past experience. Steer clear of the three P's."
I shook my head. "Three P's?"
"Pee, poop and period," he said solemnly. "Never, and I mean never, walk in during, or bring into conversation any of those three bodily functions and you'll remain unscathed...hopefully."
"God, they're so fucking weird," I sighed.
"Tell me about it," he agreed.
"Are you still coming to dinner on Saturday?" I asked. "You haven't stopped by in a while, and the girls…they're missing you, man."
"Yeah," Derek sighed. "I'll be there. I wanna be the first person to say I told you so when it blows up in your face. Because it will blow up in your face, Kyle."
"I know what I'm doing," I snapped really irritated as hell that he didn't agree with me. "It's happening, Derek, and I would appreciate your support on this."
"You have my support," he grumbled. "But your stupid fucking plan sure as hell doesn’t. But then again, you don't need my approval. You're gonna do it anyway, aren't you, dumbass?"
"Yep," I muttered as I poured another carton of sour milk down the drain. Black coffee again today…"By the way, your room in the new house is pretty cool, Derek…well, your own floor actually. It's really sweet, man." When he didn't answer I swung around and realized he was gone.
The mutt was sitting where Derek had stood and was staring directly at me. "You don't know what you're getting yourself into, Kevin," I muttered as I knelt down to pet him. His bottom teeth jutted out over his top ones as he wagged his tail, and I had to admit he was kinda cute–if I didn't breathe through my nose. "I'd take my chances on the streets if I were you, man," I told him. "Derek's worse than any bitch you'll ever meet."
****
Lee
The second Kyle walked through the door of our suite, I scrambled off the couch and rushed towards him. "I'm sorry," I blurted out as I rushed over to him. He stood, frozen to the spot, staring down at my face with a look of confusion on his own. "I am so, so sorry," I whispered as I wrapped my arms around his waist. "I will never throw a shampoo bottle at you again. Ever."
After a few moments he sighed heavily, wrapped his arms around me and kissed my hair. "Or an apple."
I cringed in shame. "Or an apple."
"You know, princess," he mused as he lifted my chin up with his fingers. "You would have made a fine pitcher. Your aim is pretty damn perfect."
"It's not funny," I mumbled, burying my face in his shirt. "Don't let me off the hook so easily. You should be really mad at me. I'm a horrible person. I'm not good, Kyle. You should…you should…"
"I should what, baby?" he said in a soft tone, lifting my face again. "I should punish you?" He shook his head. "I'm not him, Lee. There's nothing you could ever do to make me want to hurt you. I'm never gonna hurt you. I'm never gonna leave you." Leaning down, he pressed his lips to mine before pulling back and smirking. "Even when you're behaving like a hormonal anti-Christ."
"Kyle," I choked out. "I've slapped you twice. Thrown an apple at your head and now a shampoo bottle. I am a disgusting person. I know how it feels. I don't want you to feel like that. I don't want to make anyone feel like that. Not you…Never you."
He frowned deeply as his eyes studied my face. "Baby, every time you've reacted like that you've been provoked. By me."
"Provocation is no excuse," I urged. "In any situation. I did wrong. This is all on me, Kyle."
"Lee, I'm a major douchebag sometimes and you're only human." He clasped my face in between his hands and grinned. "Did you know that Cam went all Bruce Lee on Derek with a toilet paper holder once? I got off lightly with a shampoo bottle…"
"What?" I shook my head and stifled a laugh. "She didn't…"
"She did," Kyle grinned. A sadness crept into his eyes, but he blinked it away quickly. Taking my hand, he led me back to the couch before sinking onto it and pulling me down on his lap. "I never know what to say to you," he said quietly. "You need to let me know if I bring stuff up that's hard for you to talk about."
"I'd like to hear more," I whispered as I snuggled against him. My back was throbbing, but I ignored the pain as I rested against Kyle. "Please tell me more."
"About Derek and Cam?" he asked quietly.
I nodded. "About anything you can remember about Cam."
"Well, she tramp-stamped Derek when we were in college," he mused.
"What's a tramp stamp?" I asked in confusion. I wasn't sure what that was code for.
"It's a tattoo, baby," Kyle chuckled before bending down and kissing my hair. "Sometimes I forget how sheltered your life was before moving to the hill."
"How come you're not tramp stamped?" I asked.
"I hate needles," he whispered with a shudder. "Besides, it's not my thing."
"I'm glad," I whispered. "Your body is beautiful. You don't need to be scarring it."
"Cam could drink a beer faster than most guys I know," Kyle said, veering the conversation away from scars before laughing softly. "And I don't know if you ever noticed, but she used to do this weird thing with cereals."
I smiled and turn
ed my face up so I could see him. "She would scoop the cereal up with a spoon, but tip it sideways and let the milk spill out before she ate them."
"Yeah," Kyle said eagerly as his eyes lit up. "It used to drive me fucking crazy."
"Me too," I chuckled. "She always did that. Since as long as I can remember."
"Such a waste of milk," he mused.
"I used to drink her leftover milk when I was small," I admitted, red faced.
"Uh..." Kyle groaned. "That's fucking gross, baby."
"What," I shrugged. "It was a waste and I was hungry. And in my defense I was like four or something."
"Were you hungry a lot as a child?" he asked in a soft voice.
"Not really," I mumbled, arching my back to ease the throbbing. "I mean, I was never full, but I wouldn't say I was starving…although I probably would've starved if Ted and Mora weren't so good to me." I frowned as I thought about it. "I'm still confused as to how he kept me alive as a baby…he was always drunk, Kyle. Like every single day. It's a miracle he remembered to feed me."
"Jesus," Kyle muttered as he tightened his arms around me and kissed my shoulder. "You have to stop. I can't hear this... I can't."
"Okay, I'm sorry," I muttered. We sat in silence until I couldn't take it anymore. "I'm sorry for today, Kyle."
"Lee," he sighed. "Please stop apologizing."
"What if I'm like him?" I whispered in mortification. "What if I'm going to turn out like him? Do you think behavior like that is genetic?"
"You're not now, nor will you ever be anything like him," he spat. "I'm still trying to figure out how that bastard's blood is running through your veins."
I sat up and turned to look at him. He was so sure I was good. He was wrong. "I'm not perfect, Kyle."
"No, you're not," he said with a smirk. "And I'm glad for that because I'm so fucking far from perfect it gives our relationship a little balance when you drop your halo and show you're human. You're so far above me, Lee, I feel like I'm hanging on to your ankles just to keep you on the ground with me."
"What?" I asked in confusion. "Kyle, that makes no sense."
"It does to me," he said simply. "We're both fucked up, Lee. It's nice to know that. It's lonely being the only screw-up."
Huh...I stroked his cheek with my palm and smiled sheepishly. "I guess we're both a little broken, aren't we?"
"That's an understatement." Kyle laughed and squeezed me tightly. "At least we can be each other's glue. You fix me and I'll fix you. Deal?"
I smiled. "Deal."
****
"And by the way," Kyle whispered, several hours later as we were lying in bed facing each other. "Don't ever leave me hanging like you did this morning. Trust me, my dick hurt ten times worse than my nose."
"Kyle," I whispered, completely mortified. "I was b…"
"I don't care," he said before I could finish. "I don't care about that and neither should you." He yawned loudly as his eyelids fluttered closed. "I'm not some adolescent asshole who doesn't understand how a woman's body works," he muttered, his voice drowsy. "I wanna be inside you…no matter what's going on inside of you."
"I was worried," I confessed. "I'm still worried…" My voice trailed off as the sound of Kyle's heavy breathing filled my ears. I stared at his peaceful face. He looked so much younger when he was asleep. "I love you," I whispered before climbing out of bed and into the shower.
****
Chapter 7
Saturday night…
Lee
"Lee, come on, get dressed," Kyle grumbled as he pulled my shoes out of our wardrobe and dropped them on the bed next to me. Rachel's gun hadn’t killed me, but I had a feeling the pain I'd woken up with would. Getting out of bed this morning and taking care of Hope was hard enough. I was sore and didn't feel up to going out for dinner, but telling Kyle this would only result in a humiliating trip to the ER.
I woke up again this morning with horrible back pain. I was aching all over and every time I peed I felt like diving into a bathtub full of boiling hot water to stop the burning sensation. I actually had to do that twice this afternoon. I was used to the pain in my back but the pee-burn sucked. I wasn't completely sure if I was on my period or not, but it had been five days since I called Dr. Bromwick and I was still spotting. I'd called Dr. Michaels again yesterday, but the secretary I'd spoken to informed me that he was out of the office for another two weeks and the only doctor available was Dr. Bromwich…
I spent an unhealthy amount of time on my phone last night googling my symptoms and after a dozen heart-stopping, terrifying possible causes for the bleeding, I'd come to the conclusion that Dr. Bromwick was right about two things. I was on my period and I was stupid. Incredibly stupid…
I'd also woken up in the middle of the night screaming my head off and every time I'd tried to close my eyes I'd been haunted with memories of Cam. Last night's nightmare had been more disturbing than others. As usual I was back in the kitchen in Thirteenth Street, holding Cam's lifeless body in my arms, except last night she'd spoken to me...
"I don't want to die, Lee."
"Don't make me die for you."
"Why are you letting her hurt me?"
"It's you she wants."
She had chanted the same four sentences over and over until her eyes started to roll back in her head. Then she had started to cry. That had been the worst part. Her tears were blood and they'd soaked my body. When I woke the guilt had been so smothering that I'd felt like I was going to suffocate from the pain. Kyle hadn't spoken a word when he held me in his arms. He hadn't tried to shush me or tell me it would be okay. He let me cry it out and I was grateful for that. He couldn't say anything to make it better or make the nightmares stop. He couldn't do anything to change the past. But sleep hadn't come and this morning I couldn't eat.
"This isn't a setup, is it?" I asked as I watched Kyle button his blue shirt and tucked the tails of his shirt into his black pants.
"There's no set up, baby," he said grinning and for a brief moment I wished he had a vagina just so he could understand what it felt like to pee razor-blades. "I just want us to have a nice family meal. Is that so hard to believe?"
Quite frankly it was and I smelled a rat. His obsession with playing happy families with my mother was upsetting me. I'd been forgiven for the whole shampoo bottle incident. I was sorry. I shouldn't have done it, but my actions seemed to have kick started his fixation with repairing my relationship with my mom. He re-started the 'talk to your mother' conversation the moment I opened my eyes this morning and had continued with it on and off throughout the day. I was fairly certain I would explode if I heard the words 'that poor woman' come out of his mouth one more time.
"Come on, princess. Hope's all dressed up and looking adorable…let's go show her off to Theresa and the girls in the restaurant." Hit me with the daughter card why don’t you…
"Fine," I muttered as I grabbed a plain black dress out of the closet. Easing my string top off, I pulled my dress on over my head. Stretching hurt my back and I winced when a stab of pain hit me.
Kyle looked at me for a moment with an odd expression…a saddened expression before masking his features and walking over to me. I felt his hands skim my sides and then move around to my lower back. "I love you," he whispered before placing a kiss on my shoulder.
My anger evaporated and I sagged against him. "I'm sorry. I'm just lonely today. Last night Cam…" I stopped. There was no point dragging up the past or my screwed up dreams. "I shouldn't take my bad mood out on you."
He slid the fabric of my dress down my body before moving his hands around to my back to zip me up. "I just want you to be happy, Lee."
"I know," I breathed.
Sometimes it was too much.
The feelings I had for Kyle…sometimes they threatened to drown me.
****
Kyle
I had an infallible talent for making things worse. Seriously, it was a gift. I seemed to make every situation twenty times worse by j
ust opening my mouth. I knew the moment I walked Lee into the hotel restaurant I'd made a huge mistake. She'd been so down in herself all day, missing Cam…I should have called this dinner off. Derek had tried to warn me, but I'd thought…No, I hadn't thought. I should have fucking thought. I was in serious trouble.
"How could you, Kyle?" Lee whimpered and I couldn't stop my ears from reddening, or my cheeks.
Yeah, I was an asshole.
I'd thought by inviting Tracy to dinner it would give Lee the push she needed to break the ice. But I'd obviously thought wrong. I had a pair of very angry gray eyes boring into my skull and I didn't feel so smart now. Derek, who was lounging in his seat at the table, with a half dozen empty shot glasses in front of him, gave me two sarcastic thumbs up. Asshole…
"Should I go?" Tracy mumbled from her seat beside Derek and I swear my heart strings tightened.
That poor woman…
"No," I said at the same time Lee said, "yes."
Tracy worried her lip clearly unsure of what to do.
"Fine," Lee sighed as she dragged her chair out roughly and sat down. It didn't slip my attention that she winced when she sat. She was in pain… "If you want her here so badly, Kyle, then you can talk to her. I have nothing to say to..."
"I have," Tracy said quietly, halting Lee mid-sentence. Lee glared across the table at her and Tracy seemed to straighten her spine a little. "You don't have to say anything," Tracy urged in a desperate tone. "Not one word if you don't want to. All you have to do is stay."
Lee frowned and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. "There's nothing…."
"Kyle told me how forgiving you are. Well, I'm not asking for forgiveness. All I want is to spend some time with you."
Lee stiffened for a moment before her shoulders sagged slightly and her head nodded. "It's a good thing you're not asking for forgiveness," she said quietly. "Because that's something you will never get from me."