Fall on Me

by Chloe Walsh

  "It was the night after the party. Christmas Eve. I came home and couldn't find you. I saw the blood in the…so I called Derek," he continued, but he closed his eyes as he spoke. "He told me that you were pregnant and that you'd miscarried." I shuddered and Kyle wrapped his arm around my shoulder and tucked me into his side. "My world collapsed in the minutes it took me to end that phone call and get to you. And when I got to your hospital door I was faced with the lioness."

  "Cam," I sighed.

  "Yeah," he chuckled. "Slapped me so hard I saw stars."

  "Cam slapped you?" I gasped. I hadn't known that. It sounded like something she would have done. She'd been furious that night.

  "I deserved it, Lee," he said with a small smile. "I'm just glad all I got was a slap. For a moment I'd thought she was gonna castrate me."

  "Okay," I mumbled as I shook my head. "How in god's name was that your best day?"

  "You walked away from me that night, Lee," he admitted with a sigh. "You broke up with me, ripped me apart and woke me up all at once. It was the biggest reality check of my life. I went home after you kicked me out and started going over and over every second I'd spent with you from the night I'd kissed you in my kitchen to the night of that stupid party. I didn't like the person I was. I was a liar and a fucking cheat and I couldn't stand the thought of being those things with you–to you. The way I treated you..." His voice broke off as he ran a hand roughly through his hair before sighing heavily. "All I could see was this young, vulnerable, amazing girl who I'd broken. I've never felt shame like that before. You were so good and I wasn't. I wanted to be good for you, Lee, good enough for you." He turned to face me. Stroking my cheek, he pressed his forehead to mine. "Me loving you has never had anything to do with babies. You saved me from myself a long time ago and Hope saved us from me. I clung to the hope that you might need me, that there may be a possibility that you'd give me another chance. The pregnancy was my way back to you. I wasn't going to let you down again, not intentionally. I knew it, I just needed you to know it. So yeah, that's my best day. The day I woke up."

  "You," I breathed as I tried to form a straight sentence. I was drowning in the emotion I felt from hearing his thoughts on that night. "You are a dangerous man with words."

  Kyle laughed softly as he stood up and stretched. "And you have no reason to feel insecure. I'm going nowhere. Whether we have fifty more kids, or only have Hope, I'm yours. Have a little faith in yourself. Have some confidence." Leaning forward, he gripped me under my arms and picked me up like I weighed nothing. "Because, baby, if you could see yourself through my eyes you'd never put clothes on again," he purred as he walked around to my side of the bed before setting me back down on my feet.

  "Snap," I said with a small smile.

  "So, are we cool?" he asked as he stood in front me smirking, with his hands on my hips. "No more tantrums?" He grinned widely causing the dimple in his cheek to deepen. "No more meltdowns?"

  "Ha-ha," I grunted as I crawled into bed. "But seriously, Kyle, that isn't going to happen for us again."

  Kyle snorted as he climbed over me and settled down beside me. "Relax your brain, woman. Let's just take every day as it comes, okay?"

  "Do I have to worry about you piercing holes in the condoms?" I asked with a smirk.

  "Smart mouth," he chuckled as he rolled onto his side and pulled me into his embrace. I rested my head on one of his arms and he snaked the other arm around my waist, resting his palm against my stomach. "Don't over analyze this," he murmured softly, his lips brushing against my neck as he spoke. "Don't worry about condoms. Don't worry about a damn thing. I've got you, baby. I'm gonna take care of you."

  "It won't happen," I warned him as I snuggled my back against his front. "I won't get pregnant."

  "Yeah, princess," he yawned as he kissed my shoulder. "Whatever you say."

  ****

  Derek

  "Hey, man." Kyle grinned as he sank onto the couch next to me. "Can't sleep either?"

  "Something like that," I mumbled as I lowered the volume on the TV. Kyle had a habit of sneaking downstairs to check on me at night when Lee was asleep. He pretended it was because he couldn’t sleep, but I knew it was because he was worried. He checked the locks on the doors, and the alarm system at least twice a night, and still hadn’t given me the access codes. He was afraid I would break out and go drinking. I couldn’t blame him for his lack of trust. My previous antics hadn’t exactly inspired his trust in me. I would earn it back–and his respect.

  I was seeing things a lot more clearly since I left the hill. I felt like I could breathe again. I felt like I was breathing for the first time in months, but with my awakening also came my shame...

  I was so fucking ashamed of myself. Kyle had saved my life repeatedly for months. I'd hit him, pushed him away and insulted the hell out of him and he never walked away. He kept coming back and he had pulled me away from the edge. I could never repay the guy. He was one in a million. If I died trying, I would earn back the right to call myself his friend.

  "You hungry?" Kyle asked as he folded his arms behind his head and stretched his legs out in front of himself. "I couldn’t eat at damn thing at dinner." Kyle laughed quietly. "Dude, I love that girl to death, but I have a real fear she's gonna poison me someday."

  "Yeah," I chucked. Lee couldn’t cook to save her life. She was a liability in the kitchen, but she had these big, glassy gray eyes that were a fucking deadly weapon. One damn puppy dog gaze and she could make you do whatever the hell she wanted you to do–even if that involved eating incinerated chicken.

  "By the way," Kyle said before yawning loudly. "Thanks for keeping an eye on Hope for me tonight."

  "Dude," I growled. "I am living in your house, rent free. The least I can do is watch the kid for an hour." Hope had gone to bed willingly for me tonight, which made a change from when she lived in Thirteenth Street. The nights Kyle had gone to check on Lee in the hospital, I'd sang every nursery song I could think of until I'd discovered Hope was a reggae baby. No woman no cry was more her style than humpty dumpty.

  And Hope made me feel better. I knew that sounded stupid since she was a baby and couldn't talk, but she did. I loved that kid and she seemed to provide exactly what her name suggested. When I was at my lowest, and felt like I couldn't lift a finger from the pain, that little girl's innocent face made me drag my ass up and keep going. In my eyes, Hope was a miracle baby. She had survived almost impossible odds. The day she was born was a pretty damn good day–blood and goo aside.

  It was the last time we were all together and smiling. Even though Cam and I were broken up when Hope was born, I'd felt so fucking close to her. We stood side by side and watched a family being born. The volume of pure love that had spilled from the backseat of that car was indescribable and had cloaked over the both of us. She'd held my hand for the briefest of moments as we watched our two best friends transform into parents right in front of our eyes. It was instantaneous. It was humbling… "I did something, Kyle," I whispered. I needed to tell him. I didn’t think I'd ever sleep again if I didn’t get it off my chest. "And I think you're gonna hate me for it."

  "Okay…" Straightening in his seat, he turned to face me. "Is this a conversation where you need to be at least ten feet away from me before you tell me?" He smiled but it was an anxious one. "'Cause I gotta tell you, dude, I'm trying real hard to rein it in lately, and I really don't wanna mess up my clean sheet. For Lee's sake."

  "I fucked Anna," I blurted out. Jesus, the weight that fell from my shoulders was huge. Kyle's face remained impassive, his eyes unblinking, and I wasn’t sure if he was in shock or if he was planning all the ways to make me bleed. "I'm sorry," I added as I edged away from him.

  "Anna?" Kyle whispered.

  I nodded.

  "As in Anna my stepmother?"

  I nodded again.

  Kyle groaned. "You fucked my step mother." He shook his head and shuddered. "What the fuck…Uh, I think I'm gonna puke."


  "How mad are you?" I asked as I watched him lean over and clutch his stomach. "Should I start running?"

  "I'm not mad," he growled. "I'm fucking repulsed."

  "She is kinda hot, dude," I said with a smirk, feeling a little better now that it was out there. "She's a beautiful woman."

  "She's a geriatric woman," Kyle countered as he glared at me. "How did this happen…No, no, don’t tell me." He leapt off the couch and started pacing. "I really don’t think my stomach can handle it…Wait, does he know?" Kyle glared at me. "Is that why he fucking drugged you?"

  "No," I said calmly. Bringing Kyle's asshole father into this conversation could make him flip. "I don't think he knows…at least, I didn’t tell him. He drugged me because I slashed the tires on his Lexus and barfed on his cat." I wasn’t proud of myself–especially for throwing up on the white Persian cat–but from the way Kyle's eyes lit up when I told him, I guessed he was.

  "Nice," he said in an appreciative tone and for a moment I thought he was going to high-five me. "Mr. Tinkles is a sly son of a bitch."

  "Mr. Tinkles?" I asked as I burst out laughing.

  Kyle nodded, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "Yeah," he chuckled. "He belongs to Mike. Idiot used to take that fleabag with him everywhere when we were younger…" he stopped talking immediately and I tried to pretend that it didn’t hurt when he spoke about Mike. It did hurt. It annoyed the hell out of me that Kyle had promoted him, but I didn’t own him. I could hardly say 'your my friend, you can't be his friend, too.'–even if I wanted to. I hated his guts and I always would, but Kyle…dammit, he was too fucking forgiving. The one small perk was that Lee was still boycotting all things Mike Henderson. It shouldn’t make me feel smug, but it did…

  "Okay, tell me," he blurted out as he resumed his pacing. "Not in any detail." He shuddered. "Just the bare necessities."

  "She came onto me a couple of times in the past," I told him. He paled and if he wasn’t such a temperamental fucker I would have laughed at his expression. The memory of one of his punches sobered me. There would be no smiling. "I was drunk and missing…" I forced myself to say her name. I needed to talk about her–according to Lee. "I was missing Camryn and I wanted revenge."

  "And now?" Kyle asked quietly.

  "I haven’t slept with her in months," I promised him.

  "No." He shook his head. "I meant Cam."

  I sighed heavily. I hated what I was about to say, but I needed to say it. It was the only way forward. "I'm always gonna miss Cam," I admitted. "I'm always gonna be in love with her..." I stopped and stared straight in the eyes. "But I am also going to live. I am going to live my life, Kyle. I am going to survive this and…" I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. "I am going to move on."

  Kyle's face broke out in the biggest smile. "You asked me a question before," he said, his smile indulgent. "You asked me if I believed in god."

  "Yeah," I muttered in embarrassment. The shit I'd spurted…

  "And I told you I didn’t know," Kyle continued. "Well, I've changed my mind. I believe now, Der."

  "Do you think she's looking down on us?" I asked quietly. "Do you…do you think she'd be happy for me?"

  Kyle sighed heavily and sank down on the couch beside me. "She's probably bossing the hell out of every other poor soul as we speak," he said with a chuckle. "And if there's anyone Camryn Frey is looking down on, then it's Derek Porter."

  "But she left …"

  "Doesn’t matter," Kyle said as he nudged my shoulder with his. "One love, Der," he said simply. "You were hers."

  "Yeah," I whispered.

  And she was mine…

  ****

  Chapter 19

  Progress

  Kyle

  "I've been thinking about what you said," Lee murmured as we sat in the car having just come from the courthouse. I'd passed Rachel's mom in the corridor and I felt so bad for the woman. She'd looked at me first, and when she looked at Lee her whole face had caved. I'd rushed Lee out the door before Mrs. Grayson had a chance to say anything. She didn't need to be apologizing to anyone. The woman had done the best she could. She'd brought a child into the world and had loved her with all her heart. It wasn't her fault, nor was it in her power to prevent Rachel's actions. The trial was in five weeks, and Kelsie still hadn’t made progress with getting Rachel to change her plea, and to be honest, I was starting to doubt we would. I was beginning to accept the fact that there would be a trial next month, where my girl would be interrogated and terrified…

  Forcing all thoughts of the trial out of my mind, I turned my face to look at Lee. There was a determined glint in her eyes. "Which part?" I asked as I stashed my strawberry milkshake into the cup holder in my car.

  "About speaking to Tracy." She inhaled deeply. "One meeting to thank her. Nothing else, Kyle. I don't want to hear her reasons, excuses or whatever else she's had twenty years to think up. I want to thank her for coming forward and saving my life, then walk away with a clear conscience."

  I sat in my seat absolutely dumbfounded. Was she serious? I'd been pushing her for months and then when I finally grow a few brain cells and back off, Lee decides she wants to meet her…

  Jesus, I would never understand the female mind.

  "I'll set it up," I told her as I pulled out my phone. "When do you want to do this?"

  "As soon as she is able to meet me," she replied. "If I don't do it soon, I'll chicken out and I don't want this looming over us. I want to have a good life. One with no regrets or sadness."

  "I proud of you, baby." I leaned over and kissed her lips. "Very proud of you."

  "I have one tiny prerequisite," she said in a teasing tone as she brushed her lips to mine.

  "Whatever you want, princess," I mumbled as I pulled her mouth back to mine.

  "I want to drive," she smirked. "Both ways."

  ****

  I was nervous as hell on the drive to the hotel, partially because we were meeting Tracy, but mostly because Lee was driving. I conceded control of the car in exchange for a dinner with her mom–including desert. That was the deal. "Which turn off do I take?" Lee asked. Her brow creased in concentration as she maneuvered my CL550 through Saturday night traffic. She was doing pretty well. She hadn't stalled or fucked the handbrake like last time.

  I needed to get her a car of her own though, something small and girl friendly, because the thought of her denting my car fucking pained me. "Keep going," I told her. "Then take the next left. There should be some parking available on the street."

  She nodded in response and took the turn sharply, tossing me sideways. Her cheeks reddened as her eyes met mine in apology.

  I craned my neck to check Hope had survived the turbulence. She grinned at me from her car seat. "Are you nervous?" I asked, stretching a hand out to rub her knee. Lee jerked and the car veered sharply. I snatched my hand back, and counted back from ten.

  "I'd have to feel something for her to be nervous," she growled. "So, no. I'm not nervous."

  "Okay." I made a mental note to keep my mouth shut for the rest of the car ride.

  Probably safer…

  ****

  Lee

  I was such a terrible liar and Kyle knew it. Every inch of my body shook with anxiety as Kyle held the door of the hotel for me. "Come on, Princess," he coaxed. "We made a deal. Dinner with your mom for driving my car."

  "Yeah, well I think you got the sweeter end of that deal." Not really, since I was fairly certain I'd left a modest sized dent on the trunk of his car. He'd been grabbing a parking disc and I'd gotten a little too excited clutching and accelerating in reverse. I thought I'd been doing a pretty good job…until I reversed too quickly. I only hoped I could get the car home before Kyle noticed I'd left half the body paint on a street lamp.

  "Walk your hot ass in there," Kyle grumbled impatiently. "Or I'll fucking carry you."

  I rolled my eyes at his threat. "And they say romance is dead."

  "It will be fine," he said in a kinder voice. "I'll cal
l you in an hour. If you need me just send me a text and I'll come get you."

  "Okay," I whispered when all I wanted to say was 'don't leave me.' But I had to be a grown-up about this. I needed to do this alone. I had decided that if Derek could move forward then so could I. I just wished that it was easier done than said…

  ****

  Kyle

  Derek was putting the trash out when I pulled into the driveway. Climbing out of the driver's seat, I ran around to the trunk and groaned.

  I knew it.

  I fucking knew she hit that street lamp.

  "Hey, man," Derek said as he picked Hope out of her car seat and gave her a kiss. "Is everything alright?"

  "Yeah," I growled. "If you consider a dent the size the titanic on my baby."

  Derek moved to stand beside me. "Damn." He let out a whistle. "You drive like a bitch. What'd you reverse into? Bambi?"

  "It was Lee," I said through clenched teeth. "She's gone to the hotel to meet her mom," I told him as we walked inside to the lounge.

  "Are you sure this is what she wants?" Derek asked as he handed me Hope. "Did Lee agree to this or did you push her until she cracked?"

  I gave him a cold stare as I sat down on the couch and propped my baby girl next to me. "What the hell kind of question is that?" I hissed in disgust. "I might want her to clear the air with her mother, but I'd never force her, Derek." He flinched and I felt like a dick. I needed to work on being more tactful. He was only getting back on his feet…

  "Da...Da…Da."

  "Holy shit," I shrieked as I turned Hope around to look at her face. She was grinning at me with her little gummy mouth. "What did you say, angel?" I crooned. "Did you say da-da?"