Darkbeam

by Adrienne Woods

  She squinted thinking hard. “I know you want me to tell you that it’s about your future, that it’s your Moon-Bolt side awakening within you. But I don’t think it’s that. I think it’s what you think it is. Wishful thinking.”

  “Wishful thinking.” I rubbed my face hard. “What about what I feel in this dream? Does that sound remotely like anything real?”

  “I don’t know. I wish I had the answer, but you know I hardly see anything good when it comes to you.”

  I nodded, feeling sad. “Yeah, my curse. Everything I try to accomplish is completely hopeless. I might as well just give in.”

  “Don’t say that. It’s not hopeless, okay?” She got up and came to sit next to me. She’d never sat this close to me before.

  She rubbed my arm. If she knew what was good for her, she wouldn’t touch me like this.

  The beast was awakening. It wanted more.

  Don’t, Blake, just don’t.

  It took a deep breath. I should be going. Now was a good time, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have the strength to fight anymore.

  She came closer to me then and her lips brushed against mine.

  I froze. What the fuck?

  She kissed me full on the lips. The beast took over and pulled her closer. Her body was warm against mine. I grunted softly as her hands twirled in my hair and her kiss deepened.

  She tasted amazing. I wanted more.

  She finally stopped. “We shouldn’t do this.”

  “Shut the fuck up.” It didn’t even sound like me. Before I knew it, she was pinned against the wall and my shirt was off.

  My lips trailed all over her skin. Her breathing grew faster and our clothes disappeared.

  She moaned softly in my ear as I thrust myself inside her again and again. She tasted amazing and being inside her was worth every single forbidden second.

  I didn’t care anymore. It felt great when the beast got what it wanted. It was rejoicing. Maybe I could hold on just a tad bit longer.

  She offered me a cigarette afterward. I didn’t want to leave, but she probably had another student soon.

  We’d somehow made it to her bedroom.

  Who knew sleeping with a three-hundred-year-old Moon-Bolt would feel this way. She... tamed a part of me.

  I hadn’t felt so free in a long time. So rested. Ready for whatever faced me next.

  She took the cigarette away from me. I rested with my head on her belly and she looked down at me.

  “You don’t regret this?”

  “You’re the Moon-Bolt. Do you see me regretting this?”

  She laughed.

  “No, I don’t,” I said and kissed her. “But I do need to go unless you want others to know.”

  “Oh, damn,” she said. “Why do you have to be a student?”

  I laughed. “Just a few more years and then I’m finished.”

  “Still,” she said.

  I got up. I slipped on my pants and looked for my t-shirt.

  “So, same time tomorrow?”

  “You bet,” I said and bent over the bed, kissing her goodbye. “And I’m quite possessive, Irene, so I’d better be your only.”

  She blushed. She didn’t say a single word, just shook her head.

  I pulled on my shirt and blew her another kiss as I slipped on my shoes. I left before her next appointment.

  I still couldn’t believe what the fuck just happened. I didn’t even have to kiss her, she’d gone for me. Me.

  I took a deep breath as I left her tower. For the first time in a very long time, I was looking forward to tomorrow.

  I couldn’t get Irene out of my head. Her smell overpowered my senses. The beast inside was purring. It wasn’t a real sound, just what it felt like. It was at peace and so was I.

  I was glad that this sensation resulted from something as simple as Irene, and not murder. Those were the hardest to deal with. I couldn’t do the nightmares anymore.

  I doubted the dreams about the redhead would come again.

  I felt sad about something I never really had to begin with. It showed just how fucked up dreams in Paegeia were.

  They were so real.

  The Shifters believed that the strong ones guided people on the right path, the path to their destinies.

  I chuckled. I guessed it was one of the reasons why Isaac wasn’t ready to take over from his father.

  He didn’t believe in any of that crap.

  I closed my eyes and slipped into a rare, blissfully dreamless sleep.

  A tap on the window woke me. At first I thought I was hearing things, but the tap persisted. I opened my eyes and went to the window.

  Huge wings flapped outside in the dark. A giant eagle hovered just beyond my reach.

  Isaac? What was he doing here?

  I opened the window. The wings disappeared instantly as a pair of strong arms grabbed the ledge.

  I hauled him into my room. He immediately pulled on the jeans that were in his other hand. I tossed him one of my shirts.

  “You know it’s late, right?” I asked.

  “Dude.” He smiled. Something was different about him. “Dude,” he said again. “‘Never-Breath’ is one of the best songs you’ve ever fucking written.”

  I started to laugh. “Please tell me that’s not why you came.”

  “I had to. You don’t have a fucking phone and I need us to record this. The song, the tune. It’s brilliant.”

  “Okay, calm down.” He plopped onto the couch and I flipped on the lights.

  “You want a beer?”

  “Sure,” Isaac said. “Your room is the shit. Fuck, dude, this is the first time I’ve been here.”

  We both laughed.

  “How did you find my room?” I grabbed a beer from the mini fridge.

  “Your smell.”

  “My smell?” My eyebrow arched.

  “Not like that,” he said and accepted his beer from me.

  I sat on the couch opposite him. “You keeping me hanging? Hum the melody.”

  “Better. I’ll sing you the fucking song.”

  Isaac had a brilliant voice and it was weird how they couldn’t get booked without me being the lead singer.

  He started to sing the tune and made the beat, which was soft and low, with his mouth. Goosebumps crawled over my arms and neck when he started singing the lyrics.

  He closed his eyes. His voice went up in just the right places. He felt each word exactly the way I did.

  In the chorus, it was as if he was begging death himself to put him out of his misery. Just how I felt. Whom did I need to see to turn her into a reality?

  I wiped tears from my eyes as Isaac finished the last verse. I shook my head. “I think you got it.”

  “Yeah, it just fits so fucking perfectly. Don’t you think?”

  “It does.”

  “Is that how you truly feel?” he asked.

  I really didn’t want to think about the dreams anymore. “I did. I hate the darkness. The constant fighting, not knowing where I’ll be and what shit I’ll do tomorrow.”

  Sympathetic sadness cloaked his expression. “You really imagine her as a girl?”

  I chuckled. “Actually, no, I actually think it would’ve been a guy. But this industry needs a good take-me-back type of song, don’t you think?”

  “Fuck yeah.” He fiddled with a loose thread in his jeans. “So are we going to record it?”

  “Sure.” I shrugged. “Why not?”

  “Yes,” Isaac pumped his first. “Oh, before I forget—the phone is ringing nonstop, dude. We have gigs lined up. Please tell me you can do this.”

  “I’ll try. I can’t promise anything, Isaac.”

  “That’s all I want. Well, I’d better get going.” He finished his beer. “Before the old man discovers I’m gone.”

  “Yeah, who knows what he would do this time?”

  We both laughed. Isaac had slept many a night in jail because he hadn’t told his father where he was. So the police came looking for him and wh
en they found him drunk out of his wits, they locked him up.

  I was never around to bail him out or beg the officers not to take him. Some friend I was.

  He put down the empty bottle. “See you, dude. Don’t forget, five o’clock Friday, my place. And get yourself a fucking phone.” He took off his shirt and jumped on the ledge. “Bye.” he pulled off his jeans and dove.

  An eagle burst out of Isaacs form and I watched him fly away as I closed my window.

  I felt happy and sad at the same time.

  He’d done an amazing job with “Never-Breath.” I couldn’t write music without him.

  Life for now was good. And that was all I needed at this moment.

  Perched in the bathroom, I had no idea why I was so fucking nervous. I’d done this a million times, yet I was dreading getting back on that stage.

  My stomach turned at a knock on the door.

  “Dude, you okay?” Isaac asked.

  “Give me a few seconds.”

  Was this because we were going to sing “Never-Breath” for the first time?

  I took deep breaths. More than a few, actually. Finally I opened the door.

  Ty was resting against the wall and raised his eyebrow. “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

  Isaac laughed and handed me a shot. “For the nerves.”

  “I need an entire fucking bottle.”

  “Blake,” James said. “You’ve done this a million times.”

  “I know. It’s that song, man.”

  “The song is perfect,” Isaac said.

  “We need to do that song.” Ty was adamant.

  “You scared to show people what really goes on inside you?” Mathew joked.

  “Ha, ha.” I said sarcastically.

  As we approached the stage, the guys kept teasing that all I was made of was mush and heart.

  If only they knew the truth.

  I shoved aside the curtain and the crowd roared like crazy.

  Twenty-five bands had already played tonight. They always did something for Independence Day. I was obligated to come anyway. But since the band got together, it was completely different.

  They chanted our name and I chuckled.

  “Nothing new, Blake!” Isaac yelled.

  Still, I was nervous as hell.

  The hall was packed. Thousands upon thousands were here for this feast.

  We waited for Jeremy Scwhile, a famous actor, to call our name.

  “You are going to be okay, dude,” Isaac said.

  “The next band... Oh man, we’ve all been waiting for this,” Jeremy exclaimed into the mic.

  They cheered until Ty jumped out and lifted his arms. Then they went ballistic. Isaac and I just laughed. He had no self-preservation.

  “We’ve all been waiting for them to finally get back together and blow us out of the park.”

  “So lame,” Isaac said.

  “I give you the Shifters!”

  Ty ran out to his drums, then James on the keyboard, Mathew and Isaac took the guitars and last, it was my turn.

  The crowd churned and screamed. I smiled, shaking my head as I took the microphone.

  “You guys ready?” I asked Isaac.

  “Oh hell yeah!” Isaac said.

  “Ty?” I prompted.

  Ty beat the living crap out of the drums nonstop. I started bouncing up and down until he finally stopped and screamed, “Yeah, motherfuckers!”

  Mathew did a small intro on the guitar, playing his heart out for a few seconds.

  I counted down and we launched into our first song of the evening.

  Isaac was right. I was fine.

  Each band got four songs in between intervals, so two now and then one later and our last song would be the introduction to “Never-Breath.”

  I still felt nervous about how the crowd would take it.

  It was an extremely personal song. Not that the others weren’t personal... But this one was deeper.

  It made me feel vulnerable. It was a side of me I really didn’t want to be associated with. But it was a fucking good song.

  When the second song was over, we left the stage and everyone demanded more. Jeremy struggled to get in a few words.

  It was hard to imagine that this was just because of me. The entire band was brilliant.

  We walked into the VIP section where everyone waited and listened to the banter of all the other bands.

  I dashed to the bathroom, wash my face, and cool down from the oppressive heat of the stage. I splashed cold water on my neck and dried it with a towel. When I opened my eyes, Irene had appeared behind me.

  I smiled. “What the hell are you doing here?”

  “You always ask so many questions,” she said. She was wearing a short skirt with a button-up shirt. Her breasts filled her shirt near to bursting. Boots came up to her knees. Before I knew it, her legs were wrapped around my waist and our lips smashed vigorously together.

  I pushed her into the stall she’d just exited and peppered every bit of her skin with kisses.

  I went down on her, showing her that dragons my age could be just as brilliant lovers as dragons her age.

  She complained and had to suppress her noises. “Fuck, Blake,” she gasped and pulled me up to kiss her again.

  Her hands fiddled with my jeans buttons. She pushed them off. My boxers were discarded next.

  In less than a minute I was inside her. The beast growled in pleasure. It loved every single moment. I was lost inside of her. Not wondering or caring about anything in this fucked-up world.

  She was my antidote. And as long as the beast needed it, I would kill whoever stood in our way.

  The door opened and my name rang out. It was time to stop this wild over-the-top screwing session and go sing.

  “Sorry, I really don’t want to leave, but…”

  “Go. Sing.” She pushed me away as I hitched up my boxers and jeans. She gave me another kiss. “Has anyone ever told you how amazing you are?” Her blue eyes penetrated mine as if staring into my soul.

  “No, lately I only hear about what a shit-head I am. But I’ll take that compliment anytime.” I slapped her perfectly sculpted ass, hard.

  “Go,” she pushed my hand away.

  I ran out of the stall. I found Isaac outside at the bar asking someone if he had seen me.

  “I’m here,” I said distractedly, still buckling my belt.

  “Dude, what the fuck? You already had sex?”

  Laughing, I ran my hands through my hair and tugged my shirt until it sat perfectly.

  “Yeah you look fine,” Isaac growled. He strutted onstage to the guitar.

  I sauntered out and the crowds went insane again.

  “What is it with you and crowds?” Isaac’s voice came over the speaker.

  “It’s a Rubicon thing,” I joked. They cheered again. “Only a Rubicon thing.”

  The crowd laughed as Isaac pretended to be pissed off. I looked at them for a while and introduced our next song.

  Ty beat the intro on his drums. The rest of the band joined in. The first few notes wailed on the guitars and it was my turn.

  The crowd sang the chorus with us. I bent down with the mic in my hand and everyone sang as loud as they could with Ty and Isaac on backup.

  I laughed, got up, and took over, finishing the song perfectly.

  The crowd chanted for more as Jeremy reclaimed the stage.

  I returned to the bathroom, hoping Irene was still there, but the stall was empty. She really just knew how to keep a guy on his toes, wanting more.

  I found Isaac by the bar.

  “She’s gone?”

  “Shut up.”

  “Only you can get sex before the gig is fucking over.”

  I chuckled. “I’m not so sure about that.” I sipped the drink the barman put in front of me as Isaac’s eyes followed mine toward Ty.

  “So fucking unfair.” Isaac shook his head.

  “You’re too nice. I told you, treat a few like shit. I mean, just ask Ty.” We wat
ched him, sitting on a couch with four girls. “They’ll eat out of your hand in no time.”

  “Yeah, no. I don’t possess that talent.”

  I couldn’t help but wonder where the hell Irene had disappeared to. I couldn’t even call her. I really should get myself a new fucking Cammy. Soon.

  Our turn was up one last time. This was it. I was nervous, but it was time. The big one.

  “You ready?” Isaac slapped me on the back as I downed my beer.

  “To pour my guts out? No.” I got up from the barstool.

  Jeremy was already introducing us. The crowd seriously had a thing for the Shifters.

  “Break a leg,” Fred from Downstairs Octavius said. He was their lead singer, and man, he had pipes.

  “You fucking wish!” I yelled back and he laughed.

  My heart stammered as I grabbed the microphone. Just listening to the crowd cheer and soaking it up made me rocketed me to the top of the world again.

  The stage manager brought a high chair. I took a seat.

  “It’s one of those songs,” I joked and the audience chuckled indulgently. “I’m pouring my heart out, so be gentle.”

  The crowed ahhed.

  “We love you, Blake!” someone yelled.

  “I’m bad news, sweetheart,” I joked to general titters.

  Isaac started strumming the guitar. I took another deep breath as the tune picked up, soft as a dove’s wings. The drums and the keyboard joined in. I closed my eyes and started to sing “Never-Breath.”

  It was seriously over before it even began, but in that moment, I completely lost myself. My heart, my guts, I poured out my everything.

  When the last word was sung, the crowd fell silent. I felt as if I was going to die.

  A few seconds later cheers and chants brought the house down. Goosebumps flushed over my skin; it carried on for thirty seconds, a minute, longer.

  They absolutely loved it.

  “Thank you very much. You’ve been great,” I said and waved at the crowd.

  We left as they chanted for more.

  “What the fuck was that?” Milly from Two Steps Up asked. “How the hell am I going to beat that?”

  “Sorry,” I mouthed.

  “I hate going on after you.” She threw a playful fit.

  “I told you, Milly, you should’ve stuck with us.”