Steel and Promise

by Alexa Black

  “And yet,” she said, “these are the same hands they always were. Are they really so infected?” She laughed, a cold chuckle. Cailyn’s ears stung, hearing it.

  An image flashed through Cailyn’s mind: Teran snarling in anger, forcing her down. The bright steel clawing at her flesh, Teran’s other hand slamming into her over and over as she bled and keened. Unable to fight, unable to do anything but feel it all, pain, blood, the sting of being torn too far too fast, her own tears running wet down her face.

  “My lady, I—” she stammered.

  “You want to touch me. I want to let you. Nothing more than that.” Her hands moved over Cailyn’s again, soothing and soft.

  “Do I want to hurt you?” The steel paused, poised to pierce Cailyn’s flesh, and held there. She could hear Teran’s breathing. “Of course. That hasn’t changed. It won’t.”

  The claws vanished back into Teran’s fingertips. “But I won’t do it. I’ve lied to you before. I’m not lying now.”

  Cailyn’s skin itched. It ached to feel the newsteel’s bite. Maybe she could do it, just one last time.

  She swallowed hard. “I understand.” She caught Teran’s wrists in her hands. “I’m here to serve you, after all.”

  She guided Teran’s hands down at her sides. Teran made no move of protest.

  For a moment, they stared at one another. Then Cailyn leaned down to kiss Teran’s open mouth.

  Teran’s breath mingled with her own. Strong arms wrapped around her. The steel at her back touched but did not pierce her.

  Moving downward, she kissed a trail along Teran’s neck. Her lips slid over the corded muscle. The body under them twitched.

  She paused at the cut on Teran’s chest. For a long moment, she hesitated. Teran had forced her to lick a wound once, but she had no desire to do it again.

  Still, this was about offering what she could, for as long as she could do it. She lowered her lips to the scab and pressed a kiss to it.

  Teran’s mouth widened. Cailyn felt the tips of the claws against her back. She moved her mouth to Teran’s breast, not wanting to linger in the realm of pain.

  She bought her mouth to Teran’s nipple and sucked. Need sparked effervescent through her vitals as Teran’s body rose and fell.

  She slipped her hand between Teran’s legs. The wetness her fingers found there slicked her fingertips. She ran her fingers along Teran’s labia, parted them, touched the nub between.

  Teran gasped as Cailyn’s fingers slid over her clitoris. Cailyn moved faster, bent to her task. She licked and sucked at the nipple under her mouth.

  Teran’s mouth opened in a small cry of pleasure. Cailyn seized the opportunity and slid two fingers inside Teran.

  Teran gasped. Cailyn moved her thumb against Teran’s clitoris to soothe her.

  Teran’s gaze, at first accusing, grew mild, and she nodded. Cailyn began to move her fingers, slow and deliberate.

  There were no tears this time. Teran had allowed Cailyn this privilege once. Now, it seemed, it was hers to use if she wanted. Cailyn pulled her fingers nearly free, then drew back to push deep.

  Nothing else mattered now. Not pain, not roles, not politics, not torture. Only the task set before her, the service her body offered. Only the feeling of a woman’s flesh around her fingers. Only the rhythm of moving inside it, of hips moving suddenly with her.

  The slight sting of metal against Cailyn’s back brought her to herself again. Now that Teran was close to coming, would Teran hurt her simply out of instinct?

  Whatever happened, freezing up would do no good.

  The metal retracted. Cailyn let out a long breath and redoubled her efforts, her mouth sucking at the nipple under it and pushed her fingers hard into Teran.

  Teran cried out once, shuddering hard around her fingers.

  Thin fingers wrapped around Cailyn’s head as she slid free.

  “So you do still desire me,” Teran said, her voice soft, her hands twining in Cailyn’s hair.

  The claws extended again. Teran laughed once and retracted them.

  “It’s a shame you want it this way. I had such plans for you.”

  Cailyn felt coldness spread through her chest. “Plans for me?”

  Teran laughed again. “Relax, little one. I was only thinking about the party coming up for the patrons of the dark channels. If you’re going, I thought we might choose someone for you together.”

  “Someone for me?”

  “Yes.” Teran nibbled softly at Cailyn’s neck. Cailyn hissed. Was this pain? Did it count? She didn’t know. “Since I can’t do this any more, I thought we might find someone. Do it together.”

  Cailyn blinked. “Me?”

  “Yes.” Teran’s lips nuzzled her neck. “You belong on the dark channels, little one. You know it. I know it.”

  “My lady—”

  “And for now, you can’t take pain. Why not try giving it?”

  “My lady, that thing on your chest—” Cailyn stammered. “I could barely—”

  “It felt good. To both of us.”

  Cailyn felt a faint pulse between her legs in answer to Teran’s words. Then the ice descended on her again. “No. I couldn’t. Not after what you decided.”

  “No? Not even to someone who yearns for it?” The ice-gray eyes grew hard.

  Cailyn reached up to touch her collar. No more pain. Was that really what she wanted, really what she’d followed Teran Nivrai into this world for?

  “All right. I’ll go. I’ll listen to what you have to say. But I can’t promise anything else.”

  Teeth bit into Cailyn’s neck again. “That’s all I ask.”

  Chapter Twenty-six

  “So today’s the fateful day,” Lord Darien said and stroked his beard.

  “Yes, my lord, it is.”

  “How do you feel about that?” His eyes swept over her dress. Cut low, it scooped far down on her back. Lord Darien had wanted her to display her body despite Teran’s marks.

  Or perhaps because of them. Whether the bare flesh or the marks intrigued him more, Cailyn couldn’t tell.

  A few days ago, she would have liked the appraisal. Now she squirmed under his scrutiny. “My lord, it—my lady is just someone who hired me. She’s just like anyone else.”

  Darien shook his head. “Is she?”

  “Of course, my lord.”

  “I’ve seen the way you look at her.” He moved over to her, his hands reaching to pull down her dress. “And the way she looks back at you, for that matter.”

  “Me? How I look at her?”

  “Yes.”

  “How do I look at her?”

  His nearness distracted her. She wanted to concentrate on what he was saying now. Not to feel her skin tingle as her dress slid to the floor.

  “Like you want her.”

  The hands moved again, making her skin ache for closer touch.

  “Like you like being hers.”

  She stepped over the discarded dress. She kept her eyes downcast to hide her knotting brows.

  He grinned. “I’ve been on the dark channels all my life. You think I don’t know how people look when they find it for the first time?”

  “What?”

  “You have it all over you.”

  Cailyn frowned. “Then maybe I should leave her. Go on the dark channels more often.”

  Darien shook his head. “You’d have fun doing that. You have fun with me.”

  Cailyn let herself crack a smile. Why was he shaking his head?

  “But I’ve also seen people in collars.”

  “My lord?”

  “You like wearing that thing. You like that it’s hers.”

  “Teran is going to torture someone.”

  “So you’re here.”

  “So I’m here.” Cailyn sighed. “I want to forget all of this. I don’t want to think about her. I don’t want to think about…what she’s doing right now.”

  Cailyn felt the chill creep over her again. The room felt small. Her breath
came hard. In her mind she could only see one image: slender hands, numb from the cold in a dark room. Those hands, pressed against someone’s body as he twitched, cried, flinched away.

  A strong hand gripped her shoulder. Warm lips brushed her ear, drawing her back. She opened her eyes and watched the gilded walls glisten.

  “I can help you with that, Cailyn Derys,” he said. “But I need to know what you’ll do after. What happens when she comes back through that door?”

  Cailyn leaned into him, wanting his warmth to drive away the chill. “I don’t know, my lord.”

  “I think you do.”

  Cailyn hung her head. “I—”

  “That thing is still around your neck, Derys.”

  “Fine,” Cailyn snapped.

  She licked dry lips. “I will serve. As best I can.”

  She thought of the newsteel tipping Teran’s fingers. Would she use them? She’d gotten them for Mariel. Would she defile them, using them on this captured boy?

  “You don’t know if you can stand it. But you want her.” He breathed hot against her ear.

  “Yes.”

  “Then what is it you want from me?”

  His hands reached out to wander over her chest. His fingers paused at her nipples, curled around them, and twisted them. “Pain?”

  “Yes.” The word came out a sharp gasp. She remembered the first time he had taken her. Her mind wandered to memories of Teran. She’d felt faithless to him then.

  She felt faithless to Teran now. How could she want pain from him when she couldn’t take it from Teran?

  He kissed her neck. “Relax,” he said, his lips soft against her neck as he twisted harder.

  Cailyn moaned. His hand slid down her belly.

  Cailyn canted her hips. The fear she carried melted under his broad hands. She arched her back and pressed her chest out in a silent plea for more.

  “You want this. Don’t you, Derys?” His hand slid lower.

  “Yes.”

  His fingers slid down to her vulva and smeared the moisture they found there. He grabbed one of her labia between two fingers and pulled just enough to burn.

  Instinct made her twist away at first. She breathed deep, relaxing into it.

  His fingers danced over her vulva. They ran over her clitoris, slipped back to her labia, and pulled again. Her nerves sparked awake and he pulled harder.

  Was this pain? She couldn’t tell. She knew only that it warmed her flesh, setting it alight despite her fear. She pulled back against the fingers pinching her to heighten the tension.

  “I wonder if you could come from that alone,” he said into her ear. His other hand, still circling her nipple, twisted hard.

  Two fingers slid inside her. Her breath came heavy as they moved, their insistent rhythm driving out her shame.

  “Please,” she gasped.

  But he did not respond. To her dismay, he pulled away. She whimpered, sure he must be toying with her. Perhaps even the gentle ones had their cruel moments.

  Instead of taunting her, however, he pushed her down gently. Her body bent over the bed. A sudden burst of desire crackled through her flesh as she waited.

  She heard the sound behind her of a drawer opening, a tube of gel being squeezed. The snap of a barrier as it stretched over flesh. Then she felt his hardness, slick with lubricant, at her smaller hole.

  Her teeth clenched. She didn’t want him to take her that way. He’d spent so long running his hands over her vulva, tugging at her labia until she craved the teasing pain. She wanted him there, inside the nearer hole that already dripped with the expectation of him inside it.

  “My lord, not that way.”

  “No,” he said, his voice stern. “I want you to go back to Teran hungry. She’s going to need you.”

  Cailyn groaned as he sank inside her. “Touch me, at least,” she heard herself gasp. He grunted and pushed into her harder.

  She closed her eyes. What was she thinking? That they were there for her pleasure? She was there for their use. She had no right to decide what they wanted of her.

  She pushed back on him. At least she could feel him fill her, even if he’d picked the wrong place.

  He wanted her to think of Teran? Fine. She called up her favorite memories, remembered her skin parting to the touch of steel—a touch Lord Darien could never offer.

  She imagined Teran watching as Lord Darien used her, as he took what Cailyn had promised was hers. She imagined jealousy and pride in the pale eyes as she met the thrusts inside her.

  Waves of heat surged through her. She shuddered, but couldn’t release. Sometimes she didn’t need anyone touching her clitoris to come this way. But he wanted her to go back to Teran needy.

  She closed her mouth on a curse and moved with him. It heightened the sensation, but only frustrated her more.

  She focused on his every movement, each little thrill it sent through her flesh, each tiny sensation. It maddened her, each spike of sensation fueling the need he refused to fulfill.

  But it was pleasure, all the same. She needed that.

  The edge of panic in her cries drove him on. His fingers clutched hard at her flanks as he came inside her. She grunted, envying him as he withdrew.

  After a moment, she felt his hands run over her buttocks. The bruises had faded over many days, but yellow traces of the worst still remained. His fingertips ran over them. She ached where they passed, little twinges of pain that made her want more.

  He drew back his hand and smacked her buttock.

  She gasped at the sharp feeling so soon after being used. His hands ran over her skin, soothing her again. They drew back and he struck again.

  Anger flared through her with the impact. How dare he use her like this and not give her release?

  She forced herself to be still. What was she thinking, telling herself she should decide what he did with her? She’d come here to serve him.

  She breathed with his rhythm. The sensation grew regular. The warmth of it built in her flesh, lulling her into that dreamlike place Teran had brought her to so many times. Her body arched to meet his windmilling hand. She cried out, wanting more.

  He laughed and struck again. The impact reverberated through her sensitized flesh. She cried out again. It no longer mattered whether she would come or not. Her body flowed to his rhythm, immersed in the sensations he chose to give her.

  Then she felt his hands on her flesh again, soft and soothing against her burning skin.

  She turned over to face him. He wrapped his arms around her, patted her hair, then kissed the top of her head.

  “Go back to her,” he said. “Don’t be afraid. Blame us, if you need to blame anyone.” He kissed her again. “Blame me,” he whispered into her hair.

  “My lord.” Her voice broke. “I could never blame you.”

  “You should. I blame myself.”

  “What? You didn’t make the council members vote for this.”

  “She hoped I would stop them. I didn’t try.”

  Cailyn closed her eyes. “There is only so much you can do, my lord.”

  “That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Cailyn Derys. She had no options. I was in the meetings that made sure of it.”

  “My lord—”

  “She’s not a monster. Cold, uncaring, selfish, damn near impossible to like.” He smirked. “But not a monster.”

  “No,” Cailyn whispered.

  “Derys—”

  “My lord,” she said, at last finding her voice. “Why hire me just to remind me to go back?”

  Darien ran his fingers along her buttock. “That’s not the only reason.”

  She smiled, her reddened skin feeling warm. “I’m glad to hear that, my lord.”

  He opened his mouth. Cailyn thought he might say more, but he only kissed her, hard. Cailyn opened her own mouth wide, grateful for the respite.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Nivrai servants glided through Teran’s rooms. Had Teran said anything to them before she l
eft? Had she seemed nervous, angry, interested, gloomy? How had she looked, wearing that uniform for real?

  Cailyn felt her flesh twinge as she recalled how Teran had looked in it before. These things had been half game then. How did she look now?

  And how would Teran look to her victim? Cailyn tried to imagine Lady Nivrai as an enemy. Teran had welcomed her from the beginning. But what would those strange eyes, drained of color, look like to a stranger who expected only agony? Teran had smiled at Cailyn that first night, and that welcome had set her at ease. But what would that smile, sharp and mocking, look like to a prisoner, cringing before her and waiting for torment?

  She held her hands to her head and sat down heavily on her bed. She moved her hands away and stared at the walls, numb and unseeing.

  She’d whiled away the hours since leaving Lord Darien styling her hair. Putting it up, letting it down, putting it up again. It gave her something to do with her hands. She patted the ringlets, then smoothed her clothes.

  Teran hadn’t chosen her clothes for her. She’d picked a bright red dress, loose and light, easily slipped off. A compromise between the blood-red Teran liked and the vivid colors that would soothe her.

  She slid to her knees and waited at attention, hoping the formality would help. Her hands twitched at her sides. She stilled them, chiding herself for the mistake.

  Her throat constricted as the door slid open.

  Teran walked in, her body swathed in the black of the bodysuit, the Councils’ emblem adorning her breast. Her eyes, drained of what little color they possessed, stared past Cailyn, not even seeing her kneeling in waiting.

  With a fixed, dull stare, Teran walked into her own rooms, not bothering to shut the door behind her.

  Cailyn turned her head to peer as best she could into Teran’s rooms. She could hear Teran removing her boots. From the corner of her eye, she saw Teran peel off the bodysuit, her movements frenzied, the fasteners protesting as she tore at them.

  Cailyn forgot decorum as she heard the door of the bathroom slide open, the sound of shower water hitting the tiled floor. She stood up before she realized she had done it.