Uninhibited (Unlikely Lovers)

by Brooks, Cheryl

  “Sorry. I really hate the thought of making you sick. Makes me feel like a creep.”

  She gave him a quick hug. “You’re not a creep. And don’t worry, we’ll figure out a way to prevent it. Trust me, I am not letting a bladder infection screw this up.”

  He nodded as though reassured, but given the spectacular ways he’d been dumped, she could understand his concern.

  “I’ll do some research,” he said. “Maybe there’s something else we can do.”

  “I doubt it.” She poked him in the belly. “I used to take a pill every time I had sex, which wasn’t all that often. The way we’ve been going, I’ll have to take one at least twice a day. You just have to quit fucking me into such a stupor I can’t get up to pee right away.”

  Shaking his head, he slid his hand down to her hip. “Not sure I can do that. You’re irresistible. You know that, don’t you?”

  No, she didn’t know that, but considering his sexual appetites, Alan probably thought every woman he’d ever been with was irresistible. “So are you.” She wasn’t lying, either. He really was irresistible.

  He kissed her again. “Dangerous combination, isn’t it?”

  “Oh, yeah.”

  Like death by chocolate.

  * * * *

  “Well, well, well…” Jason said as Alan unlocked the door to the grocery at six-fifteen. “Nice to see you’ve been keeping yourself all warm and cozy with your new woman while I’m standing out here freezing my nuts off.”

  “Sorry,” Alan said with a wince. “We’d have been here sooner, but—” He stopped there, afraid to say anything else—especially the truth. “We, um, lost track of time.”

  “Uh-huh,” Jason said with a scathing nod. “Bet I can guess why.”

  “We didn’t intend to leave her car here last night. It just sort of…happened.”

  Although Jason made no further comments, Alan almost wished he had. At least that way Alan could cite better reasons for punching his lights out than that annoying, continuous smirk.

  The day dragged by like an overloaded freight train in a Montana blizzard. His warning to Emily hadn’t been a joke. He hoped she was ready for it.

  Will it be like this every day?

  He wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing or not. If the “blue balls” effect was any indication, being in a constant state of arousal couldn’t be good for a man. He figured he’d get over it in time—he only wished he knew how much.

  Fortunately, the last shipment of fresh, organic turkeys arrived, necessitating some heavy lifting to unload the truck. Thank God for people who forgot to buy a frozen turkey in time to thaw it out for Christmas dinner. There was usually a big rush for them on Christmas Eve, and they hardly ever had any left after the holidays.

  After that flurry of activity, however, he found himself with time to think about Emily, which gave him another painful boner—especially when his thoughts turned to the memory of her glistening, lathered tits as he slid his dick between them. He considered jacking off in the restroom, but opted for herbal tea and extra dark chocolate instead. It didn’t diminish his erection, but at least it tasted good.

  He was in the deli making his famous tofu salad when it hit him.

  Holy shit. I haven’t gotten her a gift yet.

  A year’s supply of cranberry extract was the first idea that came to mind, but that was sort of selfish in a way. If it weren’t for him, she wouldn’t need it.

  “Yo, Alan. You okay?” Shona asked. “You look like you just sucked down some bad tofu.”

  He cleared his throat with an effort. “The tofu’s fine. I just remembered something I forgot.”

  Shona’s snicker was almost as annoying as Jason’s smirk. “Let me guess. Birth control?”

  “No. I haven’t gotten Emily anything for Christmas.”

  Her snicker became more of a snort. “You mean finding you under the tree won’t be enough?”

  “Probably not.” From his perspective, finding Emily under the tree was better than discovering the key to a Maserati in his stocking, but he didn’t think she’d view the matter in quite the same light. This was their first Christmas together. If he screwed it up by giving her something stupid—or nothing at all—she’d remember it until they were both old and gray.

  His mouth fell open as the full implication of those thoughts sank in.

  First Christmas... Old and gray…

  Had he ever contemplated the years ahead with anyone besides Emily? He was pretty sure he hadn’t. Thus far, his only concerns for the future had revolved around how long it would be before he got laid again. He would go to sleep with Emily on Christmas Eve and would wake up with her on Christmas morning—or so he hoped. They had a good day and a half before bedtime on the twenty-fourth. God only knew what might happen between now and then.

  He’d never had a girlfriend during the holidays—had never bought a present for any woman aside from his mother and his sister…

  No wonder he’d never been able to hang onto a woman. He was a selfish shithead, only concerned with his own insatiable needs. The spoon slipped through his fingers to clatter in the bowl.

  “Alan?”

  Shona actually sounded worried this time—with good reason. Alan had never truly succumbed to a panic attack before, but he was doing it now. Hands shaking and knees weak, he backed away from the bowl of tofu like Superman confronted with Kryptonite.

  Shona whipped around the counter and grabbed a stool, sliding it under his ass before he hit the floor. She put a hand on his forehead. “Are you sick?”

  “No.” His voice was a hoarse whisper. “I’ll be all right. Just give me a minute.”

  “You are not all right,” she said. “You’re wringing wet! Are you having a heart attack or what?”

  “I doubt it.” He was too young and healthy for a heart attack, wasn’t he? Although the stabbing pain in his chest brought tears to his eyes, he couldn’t help believing this was something else. Something mental…

  Then again, stress had been known to kill other apparently healthy young men, and he’d been under a ton of it for the past year. How ironic that it should catch up with him now that everything was going so well.

  Or was it? He’d spent a year trying to squelch his sexual urges. Now they’d been given free rein.

  No. This wasn’t about sex.

  This was about love, family, Christmas, and Emily.

  “Soap. She said she wanted to learn how to make soap.”

  “Okay, you’re really scaring me now,” Shona snapped. “I’m calling 911.”

  “No, don’t. Just tell me where I can buy soap-making supplies.”

  Ignoring his question, Shona took hold of his wrist as though feeling for a pulse. “Hmm…kinda fast, but at least it’s regular. Maybe I should call the local looney bin and have them come pick you up instead.”

  “A hobby store, maybe?” he mused. “There’s one over by the mall.” Alan stood up and pulled off his apron. His head swam slightly, but his knees had regained their strength. “I’ll be right back.”

  Chapter 21

  Emily had worked her way through plenty of “pre-Christmas rush” days, but this one was about to kill her. Try as she might, she couldn’t keep her mind on much of anything—except Alan.

  “Tell me again why we’re doing this?” she asked.

  Kathy gave her a patient smile. “Since we opted to take Thursday and Friday off this week and work Christmas Eve, we’re supposed to get the statements for January ready to send out tomorrow night so we don’t have to do it all when we come back after the weekend. Actually, it was my idea,” she added with a touch of pride. “My brain is never ready for that after Christmas.”

  “My brain isn’t ready for it now,” Emily grumbled.

  Neither was her body. Alan might have thought he was good to go after the titty fuck in the shower, but his dick’s idea of a leisurely breakfast consisted of wolfing down a bowl of oatmeal and then nailing her ass on the kitchen table.
If he kept on being late to work, she might have to reinstate those nasty limits. Of course, the hand job in the parking lot probably had more to do with his tardiness than the episode in the kitchen. One thing for sure, she was never leaving her car parked at the grocery again.

  Back when they’d voted on which days to be off for the holiday, she’d only had plans for Christmas Day. Now that she and Alan were dating, she had two more family get-togethers to prepare for, and despite all the shopping she’d done ostensibly looking for his gift, she hadn’t bought a damn thing for him. Organizing a month’s worth of statements would mean staying late tonight if she intended to leave early tomorrow. Something told her Alan’s balls would rupture if she wasn’t home when he got there.

  “Crap.”

  Kathy sighed. “The holidays are always a stressful time.” She patted Emily’s hand. “But we’ll get through them. We always do.”

  Kathy’s logic was sound. However, Emily had survived all of those previous holidays without Alan, who was turning out to be the most exhausting boyfriend she’d ever had. She loved everything about him except for the fact that he seemed to be able to function on a lot less sleep than she could.

  By lunchtime, Emily had managed to wade through a boatload of statements but still hadn’t hit on an idea for Alan’s gift—until she heard her friend Becky giggling about buying presents at Samantha’s Sex and Such. Emily had driven past the place a million times, and though she’d never been inside, considering the lack of sex in her life up to that point, it was a wonder she wasn’t a regular customer.

  Despite Alan’s latex allergy and his aversion to bondage, she was sure to find something for him there. A year’s supply of anal lube was the first thing that came to mind, however that was more the sort of thing he might get for her, rather than the other way around. There was certainly no need for her to buy any sexy lingerie to stimulate his interest. Maybe what she needed was something to stimulate hers.

  Hmm…

  This was definitely not a search she could make from her desktop computer, but sitting in the lounge with her phone, she found just the thing.

  And they’ve got them in stock. Oh, yeah…

  One quick stop on the way home, and her Christmas shopping would be complete.

  Not surprisingly, Emily processed an astonishing number of statements and was out of the office in record time.

  * * * *

  Considering the variety of soaps available at Farmer’s Foods, Alan should’ve been prepared for the vast array of soap-making supplies at the hobby store. Nevertheless, the myriad choices had him completely stymied. He stood there, staring at the molds, scents, and soap bases like a toddler trying to pick out parts for an alien spacecraft.

  Start with what you know.

  The Shea butter base was a given, but the scents? If there’d been an Essence of Emily, the choice would’ve been easy—especially if he’d only been trying to please himself. The question was, what would Emily like? He tried to remember the toiletries she’d had in her bathroom, but beyond that Shea butter soap, he couldn’t think of a thing.

  Her hair.

  He loved the smell of her hair. Picking up scents at random, he finally hit on one that had a similar aroma. White tea and ginger.

  Perfect.

  He tossed that and several others he liked into the cart along with three instruction manuals and four different kinds of molds. Flipping through one of the books, he discovered a few other essentials she might need and threw them onto the pile. By the time he made it to the checkout lane, he had enough stuff to fill a stocking and three or four boxes, so he bought them, too.

  There. No one could accuse him of skimping on Emily’s Christmas, and the presents weren’t even sex-related.

  Unless you counted shower sex.

  Damn. Better get her some chocolate.

  Stopping at his favorite candy store on the way back to the grocery, he bought a large box of assorted handmade dark chocolate truffles. No self-respecting chocolate lover could possibly resist that.

  What about a bottle of wine?

  He could get that from his own store at a discount. Ha! This present thing wasn’t so hard after all. A guy just had to think with his brain instead of his dick.

  Unfortunately, by the time he got back to work, his dick had taken over again. Beyond telling Emily he was going to nail her as soon as he got to her place, he couldn’t recall that they’d made any plans for the evening. Not to mention the fact that he couldn’t go another second without hearing her voice. He’d fished his phone out of his pocket and was about to hit the speed dial when Travis came strolling through the door.

  “Hey, Alan. Got any fresh turkeys left?”

  “A whole flock of them flew in this morning,” Alan replied. “All sizes. Let me guess. You forgot to thaw out the gigantic frozen turkey you bought three weeks ago.”

  “Nope. Miranda wants to bake a fresh one this year. Said she’d never done it before, and I told her I was pretty sure you’d have them.”

  Alan shrugged. “So do a lot of other places.”

  “Yes, but yours are organic.”

  “Didn’t know that sort of thing meant all that much to you.”

  “It doesn’t. Miranda seemed to think it was a good idea, though.”

  Something in the way Travis was acting didn’t seem quite right. Alan narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “Why are you really here? Checking up on me?”

  “No. Should I be?”

  Travis blinked several times and sniffed twice. Alan knew the signs. Either his cousin had caught a cold or he was lying.

  Alan glanced at Shona, who quickly averted her eyes. “Uh-huh. Shona called you. Didn’t she?”

  Travis winced. “She was pretty worried. You seem fine now, though.”

  “Yeah. I’m okay. I kinda freaked out when I realized I hadn’t gotten Emily anything for Christmas.”

  “From Shona’s description, it was a pretty serious panic attack.” Travis gave him another quick once-over. “Glad you’re feeling better. Hope you stay that way. You and Emily still planning to come to Mom and Dad’s on Christmas?”

  “Wouldn’t miss it. We’ll have to leave early, though. Emily’s family is getting together that evening.”

  “No problem. Just bring yourselves and a good appetite. Mom’s already started cooking.” Travis chuckled. “I’m kinda anxious to meet Emily. Imagine, a woman who can actually put up with you. It boggles the mind.”

  “She doesn’t only put up with me,” Alan said smugly. “She loves me—at least, I think that’s what she meant.”

  “Yeah, well, maybe she hasn’t been around you long enough to know the real you.”

  “I know it’s kinda sudden… How did you feel when you met Miranda? When did you know she was the one?”

  Travis hesitated for a moment. “It was more gradual with us. If I’d known she was single from the beginning, it might’ve been different, but— Oh, hell, who am I kidding? I probably fell for her on sight.”

  “I think that’s what happened to me. Didn’t see her again for a couple of weeks, but, yeah. I think I knew it even then. I’m still not sure how it’s supposed to feel. But it feels really good.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. Now, where are those turkeys?”

  “I still can’t believe you actually decided to bake a fresh, organic turkey for Christmas. It’s so out of character for you.”

  Travis rolled his eyes. “You were right to begin with. We forgot to take that monster out of the freezer.”

  * * * *

  Emily was still at the sex toy shop when her phone rang. She didn’t even check the caller ID. “You must be pacing yourself. I’ve been expecting you to call all day.”

  “Been super busy,” Alan said. “Among other things. I just wanted to be sure we were still on for tonight.”

  “Of course. Did you want to go out for dinner?”

  “Not really.”

  Why am I not surprised?

  A smile
stole across her lips. “Ah. So, we’ll be having a quiet evening at home, then.”

  “Something like that. I can bring over some stuff from the deli if you like.”

  “Sounds great. You know, I never considered the advantages of dating a grocery store manager before. I may never have to go shopping again.”

  “Oddly enough, you’re the first woman I’ve ever dated who appreciated that fact. We really are made for each other. Speaking of which, how’s your…um…problem?”

  “Never better.”

  “Good. Be ready for me, babe. That’s all I can say.”

  How many times would she have given the fuckin’ moon to hear a man say that to her?

  Too numerous to count.

  “Don’t worry. I will be.” She heaved a sigh. “I love you, Alan. I really do.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m beginning to think it’s mutual. You’ve got me doing things I’ve never done before.”

  She glanced at the display of erotic jewelry she’d been perusing and had to stifle a laugh. “Same here.”

  For a few moments, all she heard was him breathing. “I can’t wait to see you again, Em. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”

  “I might. I’ve missed you too.” Every second thought had been about him—the taste, smell, and feel of him. She was reminded of her frantic efforts to find him, which was an ordeal she hoped she’d never have to endure again. “I’m not home yet, myself. When can you be there?”

  “Six thirty at the latest.”

  She glanced at her watch.

  Only one hour to go.

  “I’ll be waiting.”

  The question was—how should she be waiting? Naked? Wearing a French maid costume? Thus far, Alan seemed to be something of a purist when it came to sex. He hadn’t doused her with perfume or chocolate syrup. Sure, she’d done the ice cream thing to him, but he hadn’t reciprocated, and he probably wouldn’t care what she had on as long as she was in the room.

  Hmm…

  She gathered up her goodies and carried them up to the clerk, feeling slightly peculiar. She’d never bought anything like that before in her life. Alan was definitely broadening her horizons when it came to sex—and food. Oatmeal and stevia were only the beginning. The Thai cuisine was totally new, although she suspected he’d have her eating tofu burgers before long.