To Fly Again

by Rosina Scott

  Matt flicked his tongue out and wet his lower lip as he set the picture down on the table once more. Reaching down, he pulled the black T-shirt over his head and tossed it onto the floor. He ran one hand down his chest and caressed his stomach before moving on to unfasten his jeans.

  Lucas watched, mesmerized by Matt as he stripped slowly before Lucas’s very eyes, oblivious to the fact that he was being watched. He could feel his cock stir to life in his jeans as Matt lay down and lifted his hips a little so he could pull the jeans from his body. Lucas bit his bottom lip when he saw Matt’s cock bob freely as he leaned into the soft bearskin. He knew that he shouldn’t be intruding on Matt at this moment, yet he was unable to move away from the sight. Matt reached up onto the table and picked up the print before running his hand down to caress his cock where it swelled against his stomach, wrapping his long fingers around his length.

  Lucas closed his eyes briefly, listening to the contented mewls of pleasure that escaped from Matt’s lips as he stroked his cock languidly. When he opened his eyes minutes later, he could barely resist stroking the erection growing in his jeans at the dreamy look on Matt’s face as he fisted his cock. With harsh breaths, Matt thrust his hips upward, driving his cock through his fist. He panted as he closed his eyes and dropped the photo onto the floor.

  Reaching down, he cradled his testicles in his palm and squeezed them gently before moving down to caress his anus softly.

  Lucas couldn’t believe what he was witnessing. Matt looked so wanton and decadent as he lay sprawled on the rug, getting himself off. He could now see from his vantage point in the doorway that Matt had been looking at one of the photos from yesterday’s shoot. He held his breath as he watched Matt spread his legs and place his feet firmly upon the rug. He was sucking on one of his fingers and then moving his hand down to circle his anus once more. Lucas watched in amazement as Matt penetrated himself effortlessly; he was so relaxed, it was obvious. Lucas couldn’t help but reach down and unzip his own jeans and cup his raging erection in his palm. He watched as Matt’s breathing became labored as his finger worked his anus before being joined by a second finger. Lucas knew that this was the most erotic sight he had ever witnessed in his life as the shy young man pleasured himself on the floor. He heard the change in Matt’s breathing, and he knew that there was no stopping now; Matt had passed the point of no return. His young cock was hard and dripping as he worked it relentlessly while he fingered his anus, occasionally hitting his prostate and making himself cry out.

  Lucas stroked his cock in time with Matt’s hand. He couldn’t take his eyes off the young man, and he heard the strangled cry of his own name as it escaped from Matt’s lips when he came, covering his hand with his release. Lucas breathed deeply when he saw that the young man’s chocolate eyes were fixed on him as he continued to stroke himself in the doorway.

  “Lucas, I… I… I’m sorry,” Matt said when he realized that Lucas had been watching him the whole time.

  “There’s no need to be sorry.” Lucas let his cock free when he saw the look of fear in the young man’s eyes. “It’s natural for you to be aroused and to find relief.” Lucas tried to stuff his cock back into his jeans, struggling since he was harder now than before Matt had discovered him.

  “Don’t stop on my account,” Matt said, getting to his feet and walking toward Lucas. His cock was now flaccid, but he had a look of determination on his face as he stopped beside Lucas in the doorway. “Will you let me…,” Matt asked, but the question remained unfinished when Lucas pressed his finger against Matt’s lips and nodded.

  Matt’s warm fingers brushed against Lucas’s pubic hair before they curled around his rigid flesh and pulled it free from his jeans. Lucas’s breathing was labored and his heart was racing, and he felt tears prickle in the corners of his eyes. Matt knelt on the floor with one hand resting against Lucas’s buttocks as he held Lucas’s cock against his lips.

  His chocolate-colored eyes lowered as he swallowed the head of Lucas’s cock. Lucas groaned when Matt’s beautiful lips stretched around his cock and took it into the warmth of his mouth. Lucas could feel his legs weaken under Matt’s skilled ministrations. His heart hammering in his chest, he reached down and stroked his fingers through Matt’s dark curls, letting him know through his petting and his moans that he was appreciating what Matt was doing to him. He leaned against the doorjamb for support as the young man brought him skillfully to release with his mouth. Lucas let Matt’s name slip breathlessly through his lips as he spilled deep into Matt’s throat. He closed his eyes as Matt sucked harder, milking him dry. When he opened his eyes, he looked down and smiled as the tears spilled over. Matt’s dark nest of curls rested against his thigh as Matt caressed his leg.

  “Thank you,” Lucas whispered when Matt looked up after feeling the tear drop onto his leg.

  “Don’t cry, please. I can do better,” Matt said.

  “Matt, you were perfect. I couldn’t ask for better. Come here and let me kiss you.” Lucas reached out for Matt’s hand.

  MATT reached up tentatively to grasp Lucas’s hand and allowed him to pull him to his feet. Lucas pressed him gently into the doorjamb and ran a hand lovingly against his cheek before leaning in and kissing him softly. Matt moaned when he felt Lucas’s flaccid cock brush against his own. He opened his lips and allowed Lucas entrance as he rubbed his hand lovingly against Lucas’s thigh, moving it slowly up to brush against his hip.

  Matt sighed and relaxed into the kiss, beginning to know what it felt like to be loved once more. His legs weakened as Lucas caressed his buttocks, and he let out little mewls of pleasure. When Lucas picked him up, he wrapped his legs around Lucas’s waist and allowed him to carry him back toward the bed. Lucas set him down softly and crawled over him on the bed, raining soft kisses over his face and throat, taking his time to map out each and every contour of Matt’s body. As he moved further down and began to nuzzle the soft flesh of Matt’s stomach, Matt began to panic. His breathing became labored, and he struggled beneath Lucas.

  “Don’t. Please don’t. I can’t do this.” Matt sobbed as he pushed Lucas away and curled up on himself, pulling the azure sheet around his naked body. He trembled all over and regarded Lucas closely to be sure that he wasn’t going to come any closer.

  “Shhh, it’s okay, I understand. We don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to,” Lucas told him. “We can take this as slowly as you want. I won’t ever force you to do something that you don’t want to. Can I hold you?”

  Matt just nodded. Lucas sat up and zipped up his jeans before he moved over to sit beside Matt. He reached out gently and pulled Matt into his arms, allowing him to settle between his legs with his head resting against his chest.

  Lucas placed a chaste kiss upon Matt’s forehead, and Matt began to settle down now that he was sure Lucas wasn’t going to force him any further.

  LUCAS listened to Matt’s soft breathing, relieved that he was calm and in his arms. It had been an hour since Matt had panicked and curled up on himself, and now he was so still that Lucas knew he was sleeping once more. He leaned down and kissed the top of his head, earning a soft whimper as Matt shifted slightly in his arms. Lucas ran his fingers through Matt’s soft brown curls and heard him yawn as he reached up and rubbed tiredly at his eyes.

  “Are you feeling any better?” Lucas asked. Matt looked up at him and sat up straighter in Lucas’s arms.

  “Yeah, a little, thanks. I’m really sorry, you know, Lucas.” Matt lowered his eyes at the soft touch of Lucas’s hand on his cheek.

  “Shhh, it’s all right. I know this is hard for you. But believe me when I say that I’ll never force you to do anything that you don’t want to or aren’t ready to do.”

  “Would you like some breakfast?” Matt moved out of Lucas’s arms, taking the sheet with him and wrapping it more securely around his body.

  “That would be nice. I’ll leave so you can get dressed,”

  Lucas told him, climbing from the bed
and padding barefoot into the sitting room.

  Lucas paced the room, looking at the varying art pieces that filled the young man’s home. It was clear from the décor that they had all been specifically chosen with a lot of thought.

  Lucas stopped in front of a glass cabinet with no door, which was filled with sculptures of angels in varying poses.

  Some of them seemed to hold pride of place among the others, being larger than the rest. They were kneeling with their wings wrapped around their bodies, covering their faces as they looked downward as if praying. Lucas smiled sadly as he looked at the pieces; he knew these were Matt, or how he saw himself. Using their wings to protect themselves.

  He reached out to gently touch the figure of one that caught his eye. The angel lay sprawled on its side, one wing curled over its body as if trying to shield its nakedness. The other wing lay broken beside it. He wondered why Matt had never bothered to fix it, as he saw the stump where the wing would have attached to the body.

  “Please don’t touch them,” Matt said quietly. He grabbed hold of Lucas’s arm as he reached into the cabinet.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you.” Lucas felt the intensity of Matt’s hold, yet at the same time he could see the fear in Matt’s brown eyes. Fear that Lucas would strike him for touching him in such a manner. “They’re very beautiful.”

  “Thank you,” Matt said as he let Lucas free. He looked down briefly before wrapping his arms tightly around himself.

  “Where did you get them?” Lucas followed Matt when he moved over to sit in the large armchair. Matt curled his feet up beneath him and seemed to shrink into the soft leather.

  “Some were gifts; others I bought.” Matt looked up when Lucas sat on the matching leather sofa, not wanting to intrude on the younger man’s space. “One for every time he hurt me,” Matt said. Lucas tensed, since there were around fifty different small angels in the cabinet.

  “Jesus, Matt, why didn’t you leave him?” Lucas asked.

  He started to get up when he saw the tremors start in Matt’s body again.

  “Because I was afraid,” Matt said. “Lucas, please just sit down. You see the large angels in the cabinet?”

  “Yes, those are more beautiful than all of the others put together.” Lucas sat down again, but he was ready to go to Matt when he would allow it.

  “Those I received each time I was hospitalized by him.”

  Matt looked up, tears shimmering in his chocolate orbs. “He would take me out and let me choose another when I was well enough to leave the hospital. There are ten large angels in that cabinet that are intact, and the one he bought me on the night he died. The night he broke me was the night he broke my angel’s wing,” Matt said, tears falling down his cheeks. “He threw it at me, said I was ungrateful for all that he had done for me. He broke my angel’s wings, yet the angel still managed to fly. Lucas, he saved me that night. He gave up his right to immortality and his place in heaven to help me. Which is why he remains broken. A reminder that he was my guardian.” Matt reached up and brushed the tears away from his cheeks. “He was so beautiful, and he gave up everything to catch me when I fell.”

  “I’m so sorry, Matt. I didn’t know.”

  “No one does. Besides, who would believe me anyway? If I told anyone, they would have me institutionalized,” Matt said bitterly.

  “I believe you. Do you still collect them now?” Lucas asked when he saw that Matt had calmed somewhat. He sat with his arms wrapped around his legs, echoing the pose of one of the angels.

  “Yes. I collect the fallen angels, which is why they have their wings covering them. They are afraid that no one will want them because they are scarred or damaged. I collect them because I am one of them.” Matt’s tears fell more freely now as he laid his soul bare for Lucas to see. He rested his head on his knees and let the tears fall as Lucas stood and moved over to him.

  “Matt, you are still beautiful. You always will be. How could anyone not want you?” Lucas reached out softly and delicately ran his fingers through Matt’s dark curls.

  “Fallen angels are always discarded. They were cast out of heaven and were shunned. Only other fallen souls appreciate them. I give them a home when no one else will,”

  Matt said quietly. Lucas’s fingers caressed his cheek, moving down to his throat before he lifted his head upward.

  “You may have fallen, but I will teach you to fly again,”

  Lucas said softly. He leaned down and captured Matt’s lips in his own, brushing against them softly. Slowly he brushed his hands backward on Matt’s cheeks so he could cradle the delicate face in his strong hands. Matt closed his eyes and opened his mouth slightly to let Lucas’s tongue caress his lips. He whimpered when Lucas’s tongue passed his lips and slowly stroked his tongue.

  LUCAS sat on the countertop watching Matt as he moved around his kitchen effortlessly, preparing their breakfast.

  The young man was so at home that if Lucas hadn’t known about his past, there were no signs that he had been abused.

  Lucas smiled as Matt pushed the overly large sweater up his arms, since the cuffs covered his hands and were hindering his progress.

  “Are we going to continue with the photo shoot later?”

  Lucas asked as he ran a hand through his hair.

  “I think I have enough shots for the magazine shoot. But if you want to shoot something else, I can try something different with you,” Matt said, looking up from chopping mushrooms for their omelets.

  “That would be nice. Would you allow me to take your picture?” Lucas said, watching for his reaction.

  “Lucas, please understand that although you want to take pictures of me so you’ll have me with you when I’m not around, I cannot allow you to photograph me nude; I’m not comfortable like that.”

  “That’s fine; I understand how it might make you uncomfortable.” Lucas watched Matt silently for the next ten minutes as he made their omelets and set the table. Matt blushed when he looked up and saw Lucas staring at him intently. He looked down again as he arranged the cutlery.

  As Lucas sat there watching Matt, he ran his hands through his hair again. He was irritated by his new short hair. “I want to do something different with my hair. Do you have any suggestions?”

  “It’s your hair, Lucas. It’s up to you, really. You’re the one who has to live with it.”

  “What types of hair do you like on a guy? What really turns you on?” Lucas climbed down from the counter and walked over to the table where Matt was just sitting down.

  “Please don’t ask me questions like that.”

  “Why not? I’m sure you have a preference. Do you want me to shave it off, have it really short?”

  “No. Don’t cut it off; shaved hair reminds me of him too much. I like long hair. Are you happy now?”

  “How long do you like it? Come on, show me,” Lucas said, beckoning him closer with a smile on his face.

  “I like it shoulder-length. I like to run my hands through it,” Matt told him as Lucas pulled him down so he was sitting on Lucas’s lap. Matt squirmed a little at first at the touch of Lucas’s strong hand on the back of his neck, and he tensed up, relaxing again when Lucas began to run fingers through his silky curls.

  “Do you have a color preference?” Lucas leaned in and softly kissed the side of Matt’s throat.

  “Uhhh, Luc, please don’t.” Matt whimpered. Lucas glanced down and saw that he’d hardened under Lucas’s soft caresses.

  “What did you call me?” Lucas asked, smiling. He had heard perfectly well what Matt had said; he just wanted to hear his name shortened by the beautiful young man in his arms once more.

  “I called you Luc. That’s all right, isn’t it?” Matt said questioningly.

  “That’s perfectly fine with me, angel.” Lucas reached up and turned Matt’s face to meet his in a soft kiss. When the kiss ended, Matt looked slightly flushed. A blush had settled on his high cheekbones, and he had tears in his eyes. “Shhh,
it’s okay.”

  “Lucas, I’m sorry. I’m just so happy right now,” Matt said quietly as he climbed from Lucas’s lap and walked over to sit down. “We should eat; it’s getting cold.”

  “I’m glad I can make you happy again, angel.” Lucas smiled as he watched Matt start to eat. “So, do you have a favorite hair color?” Lucas asked as he took a forkful of the omelet.

  “I like sandy blond. I like the red tones of the sand.”

  Matt blushed when he looked up and saw Lucas smiling as he ate.

  “This is amazing, Matt. Where did you learn to cook?”

  “It’s only an omelet. I can cook other things as well, you know. But my mom taught me,” Matt said.

  “I look forward to seeing what else you can cook.”

  LUCAS pulled on a knitted hat, hiding his new hair beneath the fabric; he wanted to surprise Matt when he arrived to continue the photo shoot. He hoped Matt liked what he’d had done. He hadn’t had the young man’s opinion while the hairdressers did their work, for Matt had had another client to attend to prior to the reshoot.

  On his way back to Matt’s studio, Lucas looked in the store windows as he passed by. He stopped in his tracks about twenty minutes from Matt’s studio when, in the window, he saw a display case showing the angels that Matt collected. This must be where he bought them, as Lucas had never seen them anywhere else. Unable to resist, Lucas went inside to take a closer look at the figures.

  The store was a very small place, and it was warm and cozy inside. Lucas could easily imagine Matt coming here to find solitude among the angels. He walked over to the cabinet housing the collection that resembled Matt’s own and stopped to look inside. He could feel his heart clench as he saw the underlying pain of the fallen angels’ poses and knew that Matt also felt it and was still feeling it, even though it had been many years since the pain had been fresh in Matt’s life.

  “Hello, can I help you with anything?” an elderly woman asked Lucas, appearing beside him.