by Rosina Scott
Matt blushed shyly as Lucas held his arms open, inviting him to crawl into an embrace. He snuggled close and allowed Lucas to wrap his arms around him, and he rested his head securely against the crook of Lucas’s neck. They sat, content to just cuddle for what seemed like an eternity.
Lucas smiled when Matt started to idly trace little circles on his thigh, playing with the downy hairs that covered his legs.
“Lucas?” Matt said softly.
“Yes?”
“When you film your movies, do you think about someone?” Matt asked.
“Sometimes, angel. It depends on the movie.”
“When you film a love scene, is the person you think about your lover?” Matt questioned.
“He is now,” Lucas whispered, softly running his hand over Matt’s back, tracing the scar that marked the length of it.
“Oh,” Matt said, falling silent once more. Lucas could tell from the dejected tone of Matt’s voice that he hadn’t understood Lucas’s answer.
“Angel, it’s you I fantasize about while I’m doing my love scenes. I told you before, I’ve admired your work for a long time now, and, well, when I first saw your picture in Advocate magazine alongside an interview about your work, I was hooked completely. I had a beautiful face to go with my dreams,” Lucas explained. Matt relaxed into his arms and let out a little sigh.
Lucas looked down at the nest of dark curls and smiled inwardly when Matt’s soft breath ghosted across his nipple.
Running his hand lovingly along Matt’s spine, he stroked the scar again before moving his hand down to toy with the waistband of Matt’s boxers, dipping his fingers gently beneath.
“What were you arguing about with your agent?” Matt asked. He purred slightly as Lucas caressed his buttocks softly beneath his shorts, not pushing him but just letting him know that he was loved.
“The calendar I want you to shoot. And she was giving me the third degree about whether I was sleeping with you or not.”
“Oh,” Matt said, falling silent once more.
“Hey, it’s all right. She has no hold over me. I told her if she pushes me too much I’d fire her.” Lucas tilted Matt’s head up so he could kiss him gently. “I’d much rather you were my agent, my beautiful and talented angel,” Lucas told him, capturing Matt’s soft lips while he caressed his cheek.
“I know nothing about the film industry. I wouldn’t be able to do you justice,” Matt said when Lucas set him free.
“That doesn’t matter. I know contacts that could get me scripts. You’d just have to manage my meetings and photo shoots.”
“Lucas, don’t do this to me. I can barely manage my own affairs, let alone yours. I’m sorry, please let me go. I need to be alone right now,” Matt said, struggling to get free of Lucas’s arms.
“Matt, don’t run away from me. I won’t ever make you do anything you don’t want to. Come back to bed, please,”
Lucas begged when Matt moved to the doorway.
“Please, I need time, I’m still learning to fly again. Please don’t push me. I need to be alone right now. I’ll be in the darkroom,” Matt told him, and then turned and left the room.
Lucas sighed and flopped down into the pillows. This was going to test his resolve to its limits. Matt was still deeply affected by his past, he could see that now. It would take a long time for him to come to terms with the fact that he was free, that no one could hurt him anymore.
MATT closed his eyes and sank to the floor in the darkroom, his heart pounding in his chest as he ran his hands through his curls. He could already feel the tears starting to run down his cheeks. Why does he always have to be so nice to me? I don’t deserve him.
Matt sat in the dark for several minutes, trying to calm his nerves, waiting for his composure to return so he could work some more on some photos for another shoot, one that didn’t involve Lucas. Right now he needed the distance between them until he was ready to discuss what had happened earlier in the shower. Even though he longed to feel Lucas’s body against his, he was still afraid, afraid to let him close for fear of being hurt once more.
Several hours later, Matt slipped silently out of the darkroom, blinking in surprise when he saw that all the lights were off and the apartment was eerily silent. He turned on one of the lamps and made his way across the room toward the bedroom, hoping to find Lucas in bed waiting for him.
He pushed the door to the bedroom open and sighed when he saw it, too, was empty. The bed had been pulled straight, and on top of the comforter lay a single red rose and an envelope. Matt worried his bottom lip as he crossed to the bed and sat down, drawing his knees up to his chest.
He picked up the rose and smelled it, smiling at the sweet scent before he set it down once more so he could take the envelope, the spidery letters of his name written on the outside. Matt sighed nervously as he opened the envelope and pulled out the folded paper. Carefully unfolding the note, he bit his lip and began to read.
My Dearest Matt,
I’m sorry about earlier. I never meant to upset you or to make you uncomfortable. You mean the world to me, Matt, my sweet angel. I’ve never felt the way I do about anyone else, and I really want us to work out.
That’s why I’m not here right now; I think we need space for a few hours. I’ve gone for a change of clothes and to make reservations for dinner tonight. Please don’t worry, I haven’t left you. I’ll be back, I promise.
I love you with all of my heart and soul, and I long for the day when you return my feelings completely. I long for the day when I can wake up to you in my arms and be able to make love to you.
I will wait as long as it takes for that to become a reality, Matt. I want you to be happy.
You deserve that much more than anyone in the world, and I want so badly to be the one to make you fly again. To let you soar above your past and fly with your fallen angels, to love and be loved unconditionally. Matt, you are a beauty to behold, and I long for the day when you will take my body in sweet surrender. For Matt, you are the only one I would ever surrender myself to; you are the other half of my heart. I will wait forever for you, Angel, until you are ready.
I will see you in a few hours with reservations for two. Until then, my heart aches to see you and feel you in my arms once more.
All of my love,
Lucas
Matt blinked back tears as he curled up on the bed, clutching Lucas’s rose to his chest; he had never felt so loved before now. He wanted to make Lucas happy more than anything in the world, and he vowed that he would do it, and soon. Lucas loves me, and he would never hurt me. After dinner I will allow him to make love to me.
MATT woke up to the sound of soft music playing in the bedroom. He sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes before he looked around the room. His breath caught in his throat when he saw Lucas sitting in the chair beside the window, a lock of his sandy hair falling across his face while he slept peacefully.
Matt got up and padded across the room slowly, stopping beside Lucas. He bit his bottom lip while he gazed upon the beauty of his older lover before leaning in carefully and pressing a soft kiss to Lucas’s lips. He heard Lucas murmur, but he didn’t wake up. Matt felt his body responding to the man before him, even though he was asleep. Matt knew that this was it. He reached down, unzipped the fly on Lucas’s jeans, and carefully pulled his cock free, taking care to be gentle. His heart pounded in his chest when he saw that Lucas was already erect.
Matt slipped out of his boxer shorts and reached down to caress his cock, which was standing proud already. He was so excited about what he was going to do; he knew that this could make or break his and Lucas’s relationship. But he needed this, and he needed it on his terms.
Matt walked silently to the dresser and pulled the top drawer open to retrieve the lube, then slipped silently into the bathroom to prepare himself for his lover. He returned a few minutes later to see Lucas still sleeping as Matt had left him. Matt hadn’t thought he could get any more nervous than he already was
, but he knew that this was a big step for him. Lowering his eyes shyly, he coated his hand with lube and slowly coated Lucas’s erection before he straddled Lucas’s thighs. He held his breath as he gripped Lucas softly and positioned Lucas’s cock at the puckered ring of his entrance. He took a couple of shuddering breaths and sank down, feeling Lucas’s cock slip inside him. Sinking down until he could feel Lucas’s balls pressed against his ass, he whimpered softly and began to move slowly, driving Lucas’s length into the tight channel. His chocolate-colored curls falling over his face when he let his head fall forward, he braced his hands on the top of the chair and began to move more steadily, now that his confidence was building.
LUCAS murmured in reaction when he felt Matt’s lips press against his own. He kept his eyes closed, waiting to see what his young lover was up to, since Matt was rarely the instigator in their more intimate moments. When he heard his zipper being undone, it took all his will and skill as an actor not to open his eyes and give away that he was no longer sleeping. The touch of Matt’s delicate fingers against his cock was almost too much for him.
The sound of a drawer opening and closing before the bedroom door creaked almost made him open his eyes to see where his angel had gone. But he wouldn’t give in to his needs. This was about Matt, and it would be played out on his terms or not at all.
Matt’s sweet, breathless moans drifted through the partially open bedroom door, making Lucas harder than he had been before. He stifled a whimper that would have kept him from hearing Matt anymore. The soft click of the door let Lucas know that Matt had returned.
Matt’s hands were coated with lube when he next touched him, and Lucas knew what was going to happen. It took immense willpower to keep his breathing even and his eyes closed when Matt’s thighs closed on either side of his own and soft fingers wrapped around his erection. Then came the silken heat of Matt’s young body sinking down onto the cock he held so gently. It felt like heaven for Lucas to be inside him, even more so when Matt began to move, slow and almost teasing to begin with, until the young man became accustomed to the sensation and began to move with more confidence.
Lucas could not hold back anymore; he needed to see Matt’s face as he made love to him. He let his eyes open slowly, and in that moment Lucas knew that he would never leave. He would let Matt make love to him whenever he wished just to see the beautiful expression of pure bliss on his face. Matt’s cupid-bow lips parted slightly, his dark eyes glazed with desire as little pants of breath exhaled in counterpoint with Lucas’s cock brushing his prostate on each downward thrust.
Lucas moved his hands ever so slowly and brought them to Matt’s lithe hips, setting them softly against the olive skin to let him know he was awake. The reaction was a husky “Luc…,” and Matt’s head fell back, exposing his throat to Lucas’s lips as he rode out his orgasm.
When his semen spilled across Lucas’s chest, he came to a halt and his body flexed against the invading cock, stroking and milking the orgasm from Lucas’s body. Lucas reached up reflexively and stroked Matt’s cheek; sliding his hand into the soft chocolate-colored curls, he pulled Matt’s head down and claimed his lips in a tender and passionate kiss. When the kiss ended, Matt had tears tracking down his cheeks, and his eyes had taken on a soft, glassy look. He wrapped his arms around Lucas’s neck and murmured quietly against Lucas’s throat.
“I love you. Lucas. You made me fly again.”
LUCAS smiled as he watched Matt slipping into his suit. He couldn’t help but be happy for the young man, whose unruly curls hung damp around his shoulders while he stood before the full-length mirror adjusting his tie. Matt was practically glowing with love, and his eyes shone as he glanced shyly at Lucas in the mirror.
Lucas ran his hands through his shoulder-length hair, his smile growing when Matt turned to face him. Matt’s cheeks were flushed with the blush that rose up his neck. He lowered his eyes shyly when Lucas moved to stand in front of him, reaching up to caress his cheek.
“You look beautiful, angel,” Lucas whispered as Matt leaned into his touch. “Are you ready?”
“Yes,” Matt said softly, smiling in return. Lucas stood, straightening the dark blue suit he wore over a striped T-shirt.
“Come on, beautiful, let’s go.”
Lucas kissed Matt softly and intertwined their fingers across the table as they sat in the back of one of Lucas’s favorite restaurants. Ending the kiss, he moved away so he could look into Matt’s eyes. Lucas knew that what he had planned would make or break them. He hoped Matt wouldn’t freak out.
Lucas took Matt’s hands in his and lifted them to his lips, kissing his knuckles gently. “Matt, you’re the most important person in my life right now. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, ever.”
“Lucas….”
“Shhh, angel, please don’t interrupt me,” Lucas said softly, pausing when Matt lowered his head at the quiet request. “Please look at me.”
Matt looked up at Lucas and bit his bottom lip nervously.
Lucas squeezed their entwined hands reassuringly, hoping Matt could recognize the love in his gaze.
“You mean the world to me, Matt, my sweet angel. I’ve never felt this way about anyone else. I love you with all of my heart and soul, and I long for the day when you return my feelings completely.” Lucas watched Matt closely as he lowered his gaze shyly. “I want you to be happy, and I want so badly to be the one to make you happy again. You are the other half of my heart. Matt, will you marry me and be my other half for eternity?” Lucas held his breath as he awaited Matt’s answer.
Matt let out a little sob and rose to his feet, making Lucas worry for a moment that he’d frightened him into running away. The breath he’d been holding was released in a gasp when Matt moved around the table, throwing his arms around Lucas’s neck and kissing him deeply.
Lucas caught the lithe body in his arms and returned the kiss, his hand going immediately to tangle in the chocolate-colored curls. When the kiss ended and Matt let out a breathy “yes” into his ear, Lucas smiled and hugged Matt tightly.
“Lucas, take me home and make love to me, please,”
Matt whispered.
Lucas felt tears well in his eyes as Matt moved away shyly, pulling Lucas to his feet. He left money on the table to cover their meal and walked out of the restaurant with Matt holding his hand.
MATT sat on the bed watching Lucas undress, teasing Matt with his slow movements. Once Lucas was naked, he climbed onto the bed beside Matt, who bit his lip gently when the older man reached out with tender hands.
Matt gasped at the press of Lucas’s hands on his shoulders, gently easing him down onto the soft mattress and covering Matt’s body with his own. Lucas ran one hand along the length of Matt’s thigh, moving it up to his stomach while he teased him with soft kisses, smiling against Matt’s lips when he whimpered.
“Shhh, just feel it,” Lucas whispered. Matt closed his eyes at the touch; he was so aroused just by the thought of being with Lucas that even the smallest of touches was enough to make his body throb with longing. Lucas knelt up and looked at Matt, whose lips parted as he breathed deeply.
He was anxious to taste Lucas’s tongue when it slipped into his mouth once more.
Lucas pressed against Matt’s body, making it tremble when their cocks brushed against one another. Smiling, he smoothed his hands over Matt’s stomach, the muscles contracting and Matt’s breath hissing in as he did so.
“You like to have your body caressed, don’t you?”
Matt arched his body against Lucas’s hand, the strong abdominal muscles moving under his touch. When Lucas ran his hand along the side of Matt’s body, moving it up his chest and brushing his nipples, they instantly hardened under his attentions.
Matt moaned when Lucas’s hands moved to his arms, smoothing over their length. Slowly wrapping his hand around Matt’s wrist, Lucas lifted it up over his head, exposing the curve of his chest and armpit with the tangle of hair beneath it. Lucas groaned
, burying his nose in Matt’s armpit and breathing in the scent, rubbing his nose against the soft hairs before moving to gently bite the flesh of Matt’s underarm while he rubbed their bodies together.
Lucas’s cock sliding against his while he gently licked the soft skin of Matt’s arm made Matt gasp. He knew it wouldn’t be too long before he came if this kept up for too long.
“Please love me?” Matt moaned. He closed his eyes as he felt Lucas shift his weight, opening them again when he felt hands on his thighs, pushing them apart. He saw the determined look on Lucas’s face as he lifted one leg up over his shoulder so it exposed Matt’s body to him.
“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you.” Lucas reached over to the bedside table and pulled the drawer open, taking out a tube of lubricant and squeezing a liberal amount onto his finger. Matt jumped at the sensation, as it was cold, but it quickly warmed when Lucas’s finger slid into his body, preparing him for his entry.
“Please.” Matt moaned and squirmed on the bed, feeling the digit filling him. Lucas removed his finger, squeezed some more of the lubricant out, and rubbed it over his cock, covering it.
Matt sighed when the head of Lucas’s cock pressed at the entrance of his body, rubbing over it gently. Lucas eased inside slowly so as not to hurt him. Matt curved up off the bed and squirmed, trying to adjust the position of the leg draped over Lucas’s shoulder. Lucas’s eyes held Matt’s as he eased into him, filling him completely. His balls pressed against Matt’s ass, resting briefly to allow him to get used to the feeling before he began to thrust.
Guttural moans escaped from Matt’s lips as Lucas moved inside him. Lucas reached down and grasped Matt’s other hand, lifting them both over his head and holding them to the mattress. He used his other hand on Matt’s leg as leverage to move and control his thrusts.