'90s Playlist (Romance Rewind #1)

by Anthology

  After we chatted about homework and classes, I asked her what I’d been thinking about all morning. “Do you want to go to Scotland with me this weekend?”

  She opened her mouth to respond, but just in case—of what, I wasn’t sure—I added, “Stuart said he’d go along.”

  Her eyes widened, but she didn’t say anything.

  “What?” I was starting to feel like I should never have mentioned Stuart’s name. What if Shae thought something really was going on between us?

  She blinked. “It’s just that Stuart never goes anywhere. He never even offers to go anywhere except class and sometimes the pub.” She shrugged. “On account of his mum and all. Because what if something happened to her while he was away?”

  My spirits dropped a bit. So he had just been trying to cheer me up.

  “He must really like you if he offered that,” she continued, giving me a sly look.

  “He just did it to be nice,” I countered, but she snorted out a laugh and shook her head.

  “Stuart never offers anything that he’s not willing to follow through on.”

  She was quiet for a moment and I let that information sink in. So he was willing to go with me to Scotland? Should I ask him? It would probably seem a lot less weird if Shae were going, too.

  But then Shae spoke again. “You know, Jill, we’re friends and I already adore you after just a couple of weeks. But I need to look out for Stuart, too. If you’re just using him to replace Ben, well…I’d rather you didn’t.”

  She gave me an apologetic look.

  Using Stuart to replace Ben?

  Was that what I was doing?

  I wasn’t even sure, myself. True, Ben and I had planned to go to Scotland before the breakup. But I’d also asked Shae along this time. Surely I wasn’t trying to fill Ben’s place with Stuart…

  Instead of answering her directly, though, I shrugged, trying to be as nonchalant as possible about it. “I won’t ask him, then.”

  She seemed satisfied with that answer, and we continued on to class. But in the back of my mind, I couldn’t stop wondering if I had just let the chance for a fantastic experience slip away.

  * * * * *

  Stuart had been waiting for us in front of the classroom. When we walked in, he was standing near the door, watching each person intently, but when Shae and I arrived, he joined the flow of traffic to walk next to us on our way to our seats.

  Thankfully, Shae walked between us because I couldn’t come up with a single word to say, given how tongue-tied I was at the sight of him wearing nice clothes.

  Flannel-clad Stuart cleaned up really, really, really good.

  The light blue shirt he had on accentuated his eyes and his shoulders filled it out in a way that reminded me of how hard his chest was when I’d landed against it on Saturday night.

  I didn’t even realize I was staring like a fool until Shae giggled and poked me in the ribs, making me hork out a cry and double over like I was having some kind of attack.

  Great. Now I look even more foolish.

  What was up with me? I hadn’t so much as noticed another guy when I’d been with Ben, but the first guy who’s nice to me while I’m still blubbering over my ex somehow manages to spark all my pleasure points—some I didn’t even know I’d had—by just standing there?

  “You look a right knob.” I tuned back in just in time to hear Shae giving Stuart a hard time, and choked on my own spit. Stuart had to clap me on the back a couple of times to keep me from swallowing my tongue.

  No, he doesn’t, I wanted to say. He definitely doesn’t.

  But he just rolled his eyes at her in a brotherly fashion and, once he’d made sure I wasn’t actually choking, asked, “How is the class going so far? Fielding’s okay?”

  The professor was already at the front of the class, writing things on the large chalkboard, seemingly oblivious to the chaos of thirty students chatting at full volume. It was like this every time. Since this was the first class of the day, everyone would gather in little groups like it was a social mixer. We’d rehash the weekend or compare answers to homework problems and catch up on gossip.

  “I forgot to say yesterday…I’m sorry about your duvet,” I told him.

  “What happened to his duvet?” asked Shae.

  “Think nothing of it.” Stuart spoke at the same time, and I gave him a small smile. “Though I hope you’re not offended if I say that I hope you don’t repeat the performance this coming Saturday night.”

  I shook my head. “No, no plans like that for this weekend. No drinking this weekend, in fact.”

  “What happened to his duvet?” Shae wasn’t giving up, apparently.

  “I’ll tell you later.” I pointed up at the clock above the chalkboard. “We only have two minutes to the start of class. You know how Fielding likes to be exactly on time.”

  “Jill wants to go to Scotland this weekend but I can’t go.” Shae blurted it out to Stuart, and for a second I was shocked into silence.

  What did she mean, she couldn’t go?

  “But it’ll be her first time using the train and she might need some help. I was thinking you could take her.”

  Why was she doing this after she’d warned me away from him earlier?

  Not that I was protesting, really, because Stuart smiled, and this time he looked a little shy, which made me want to fling myself at him and tell him No, don’t take me!

  I was supposed to be doing something nice for him, not the other way around.

  But he was already nodding. “It would be my pleasure.”

  I tried to play it cool and not squeal with excitement.

  Fielding clapped his hands and called for everyone to sit down, and Stuart had to go in a rush, to sit down in the front to be introduced.

  “I’ll come by tonight and we can make plans,” he said over his shoulder, walking off briskly, and I gave his back a loopy grin.

  But as I turned to sit down, my gaze connected with someone’s who was sitting two rows back.

  Ben.

  And he did not look happy. He’d probably overheard our conversation and was pissed at me. I knew that dark, angry glare. It wasn’t just him lost in thought. It made me tense. I couldn’t stop the part of me that still wanted to please him. Two years didn’t just dissolve overnight. I had an urge to tell him that it was no big deal, that Stuart and I were just friends, and that I’d come back to him in a second if he’d only ask.

  Except…

  I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t go back to him, because he’d hurt me without a care, while a guy like Stuart, who had been a total stranger until this weekend, had already treated me with more respect than my own long-term boyfriend ever had.

  Why would Ben be angry at me, anyway? What right did he have? I’d seen him making out with another girl on Saturday night—wow, was that only two nights ago?

  Somehow, it felt like years.

  Chapter 5

  “What happened to his duvet?”

  We’d just finished the lecture and Shae was prodding me again before I’d even closed my notebook. We hadn’t had time to talk about it because Fielding had started immediately and we’d both been reduced to furious note-scribbling.

  Well, she’d been taking notes, anyway. It had taken me a while to get into the lecture because my mind was still trying to process everything.

  Stuart and I were going to Scotland.

  Just us.

  I’d felt Ben’s eyes boring into the back of my head throughout the entire class. I made it a point to pack up my things slowly, so that he’d leave well ahead of me and Shae and I wouldn’t have to face him right now.

  This thing with Stuart, plus the realization earlier that I wouldn’t go back to Ben despite still caring about him, had me feeling a little off-kilter. I wasn’t sure how to handle Ben just yet. I’d ignored him all last week, but for some reason, now I felt like both screaming at him and acting like he had never been a big deal in my life at all.

  It was as thoug
h Stuart had fortified me a little. The soothing feeling he’d given me when we’d been together yesterday, and when he’d saved me on Saturday night was back. He had helped me, somehow, and I actually felt overall okay.

  I even managed to tease Shae. “I’m not telling you,” I told her. “Not after that stunt you pulled with Stuart and Scotland.” But then I got more serious. “Why did you do that, anyway? You told me you didn’t want me using him as a replacement for Ben. I wasn’t even going to bring up Scotland.”

  I was sliding my pen into the holding in my backpack when I realized Shae had been silent for too long. I looked up at her where she was already standing, smiling down at me. “That’s exactly why I asked him.”

  Well, that made me scowl. “What, like that was some kind of a test? If I followed directions, I’d get rewarded?”

  She sighed and dropped back into the seat next to me. “No. Although I won’t mention how you think so highly of Stuart that you would associated him with a reward—which is already fabulous.”

  I snorted. “You should have majored in psychology.”

  “Psych couldn’t handle me,” she retorted. “Anyway, it’s because I think you might actually be good for one another. I’ve never seen him get all excited about a girl, especially not enough to wait for her to come to class.”

  I had to admit, those words made me feel good. The thought that I was something special meant a lot.

  But it had been Shae who’d said them, not Stuart. I still wasn’t convinced that he truly wanted me, or that he simply wanted to help me out of pity, or compassion, or something.

  “Why would he get excited about a girl who barfed all over his duvet?”

  Shae gasped, then giggled. “So that’s what happened!”

  I stood up, laughing along with her. Now that things had worked out all right, I wasn’t as embarrassed about it anymore, and I had a vision of an older me, laughing with an older Stuart about it as we sat side-by-side…

  I shook my head.

  I’d never had those thoughts about Ben. Sure, I’d expected that we would have a future together, but it was always nebulous—just the general idea that we’d be together forever. I’d never imagined specific scenes like I’d done just now, though.

  An image of Ben flashed, of how his face had looked when Stuart had said he’d come by my room tonight to talk about our trip to Scotland.

  Well, tough shit, Ben. That could have been you.

  I didn’t need him to make my experiences worthwhile. Not when I had Stuart, even if just for the weekend.

  * * * * *

  I was starting to think it was possible that Stuart really did want me.

  That he wasn’t just being nice to me out of pity.

  My first recitation hour with him was nearly over and the looks passing between us had gone from eager friendliness at the start of class to long, heated stares by the middle, and then at some point, he’d stopped looking at me altogether.

  It was probably because he’d forgotten what he was talking about after one particularly charged exchange between the two of us. I’d dropped my gaze first, not wanting to embarrass him, and he’d avoided my eyes after that.

  By the time the hour ended, I’d fully accepted the truth: that I wanted to jump his bones. Bad.

  I lingered for a little bit so that I could talk to him some more, but another guy in the recitation was asking Stuart some follow-up questions about the actual material, so I eventually just gave a small wave goodbye and ducked out.

  I’d see him later that night, anyway.

  I managed to get through the rest of the day without running into Ben again, either, which I took as a sign because my other class that day was in the room right next to his at the same time. Either he was avoiding me or it really was just a coincidence, but regardless, it spared me any lingering pain.

  By the time I got back to my room later that afternoon, I was in a much better mood that I’d been in lately. I was pretty confident that Stuart was as attracted to me as I was to him. And I was definitely into him.

  I changed into a pair of flared bottom jeans and put on a scoop-necked babydoll tee that I’d gotten back home at my favorite shop, then sat down to do my homework. I wasn’t sure what time he’d actually come by, but it didn’t hurt to be prepared.

  Except that by eight o’clock, I’d finished my homework problems and, despite the bowl of dry cereal I’d inhaled about half an hour before, I was really, really hungry. Soon I’d need to leave and go get dinner. But what if he came by in the short span of time that I was gone? If I left him a note on my corkboard, would he come find me? Should I just go to him?

  Knock knock.

  I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of someone at my door.

  Stuart.

  I was so keyed up that I didn’t bother to hang back and count to ten, to make him wait and build the anticipation or whatever Cosmo told women to do to sharpen a guy’s interest. I bounded to the door and flung it open, grinning all sloppy when I saw that he was still in the nice clothes he’d worn to class.

  They were a little rumpled now, but it made him look even more delicious…like an invitation to touch him, to mess him up a little bit more—

  “Hey. Sorry I came so late.” He gave me a crooked smile that hit me low and hot.

  Oh, wow. I was in deeper than I’d realized.

  “No big deal. Come in.” I stepped back, giving him enough room to enter without brushing up against me, even though my body desperately wanted to push, to crowd, to rub and feel.

  I wanted Stuart.

  But I forced myself to hang back. I wasn’t going to make a move on him. Shae’s words about using him as a replacement still bothered me, and I didn’t want to ruin whatever was blossoming between me and him. If we turned out to be just friends forever, I could already tell that would be better than not having him in my life at all.

  Of course, when I shut the door behind him, the room felt impossibly small all of a sudden.

  I waved toward the general direction of my bed and said, “Have a seat.” I quickly tidied up the mess of papers on my desk while asking, “How was the rest of your day?”

  When I turned back, he was sitting on the floor, his elbows resting on his knees, which were bent upward. His hands were dangling down between his legs and he’d leant his head back, exposing the naked skin of his throat.

  “Oh.” It took all of my effort to tear my eyes away from that beautiful neck. “I didn’t mean for you to sit on the floor. It’s more comfortable on—”

  “I’m all right,” he said softly, but he didn’t look all right. He looked exhausted.

  “Would you rather do this another night? Or we don’t even have to go this weekend.” I knelt on the floor facing him.

  He gave me a weak smile. “Nah, don’t fret over me. I just had to go see my mum for a bit this afternoon and it took longer than I’d expected.”

  “Shae told me about her condition,” I whispered.

  “Shae is too cheeky for her own good.” He said it sternly, but he was still smiling. For the first time, I noticed the faint lines around his mouth and between his brows, the couple of gray dots in the stubble of his five o’clock shadow, and I realized how much he must take on himself without sharing the burden with anyone. I put my hand out without thinking, only wanting to comfort him, but when it landed on his upper thigh, my fingers slanted toward the placket of his pants, the muscles under my palm bunched and I realized where I was touching him.

  I yanked my hand back, then immediately felt like a fool. I was blushing so hotly that my face felt like it was going to melt off.

  “So. Scotland.” I knew my abrupt change of subject might seem insensitive, but I had promised myself I wouldn’t make a move. Nearly touching a guy’s crotch didn’t fit with that promise.

  “Right.” He straightened a bit. “I was thinking on it a bit. We can leave Friday after class, if you’ve nothing else. The train to Edinburgh takes about three hours. We ca
n walk around the city, take it easy, whatever you’d like. Then we can be on the train home on Sunday night. What do you think?”

  I thought it sounded perfect.

  “And I’ve got sort of a cousin that we can stay with, if that’s all right with you,” he added.

  “A sort of a cousin?” I laughed. “Is that like the British version of a kissing cousin?”

  His nose wrinkled. “I’m not sure what that is but I’m rather appalled by the idea of kissing this particular cousin. Do you mean like a Kentish cousin? It’s a rather old-fashioned expression, though. Have you been trying to brush up on British slang?” He winked at me and I laughed.

  “A kissing cousin. You’ve really never heard that?”

  He shook his head.

  “It’s a cousin you’re related to, but not closely enough that you can’t get married and have kids and do all that stuff without risking inbreeding problems.” I stopped and cocked my head to the side. “How did we get on to this subject, again?”

  “Do you mean kissing?”

  His voice had gone low, and my body felt like it was liquefying at the sound of that deep rumble. Everything went lax and soft, like it was submitting to the mere suggestion of something sexy with Stuart.

  His hand closed around mine and he pulled me toward him at the same time that he sat forward, and I actually sighed. I thought that only happened in movies, but there it was, a word that skated from my mouth on a puff of air. Do you mean kissing?

  “Yes.” I sighed it like it was the most important word in the world.

  And then his lips met mine.

  * * * * *

  I’d always liked kissing, but Stuart brought it to a whole new level.

  I could kiss him for days on end.

  His lips fit mine perfectly and he tasted like oranges and lust and oh, the way he smells. I’d only known him a few days, but his scent was burned into my brain—and seemed to be connected directly to the hot, throbbing point between my legs.