Engaged (The ABCs of Erotica)

by Maxxwell, Lexi

  I feel his ironing board body behind me. He shudders, and erupts inside me.

  Cum is everywhere. I love it: something the girls do not have.

  They can never explode in my mouth, not like Cooper has exploded behind me. Nor can I swallow them the same way. Men fit in my hollow, and make me one with another the way nature designed me.

  Cooper keeps stirring his flagging dick inside my trembling hole. Then he pulls out, and I’m emptied. Cum spills down my legs, dripping onto the tile, from my pussy. I feel uncorked.

  Nothing like Richard, in a good way. I’ll want more before long and won’t want to wait. I imagine Cooper’s long, tan cock covered in my cream and his cum. I want to look. He’s standing behind me, spreading my ass cheeks, admiring our mess, like he always used to do.

  I climb from the table and kiss him.

  “That was fucking perfect,” he says as we part.

  “So,” I smile. “Wanna talk?”

  Liza Fucking Elway

  Cooper makes me a meal and reminds me of Richard, though he’s not like Richard at all. They have similar kitchens, both filled with ridiculously priced accoutrements they don’t need to make the simple dishes they do.

  Similarities stop there. Like everything else about Cooper, he’s sloppy compared to Richard. He makes a mess, because someone will clean it. People clean for Richard, too, he still sweeps his eggshells into the trash and wipes the counter with a washcloth before eating.

  Cooper leaves evidence of his indulged life everywhere, like flecks of skin he can’t help but shed. He left a mess between my legs. Some is still running in between them, the rest has already dried.

  He sets a plate of eggs in front of me. They’re gorgeous: hued in yellows and whites, and every other color with red peppers, green onions, tomatoes, slivers of white garlic, wedges of green avocado, something dark and red — mashed — I think it might be a chipotle.

  I think at the fork and dip it into the egg. “Wait!” Cooper cries out, wrapping my wrist in his hand. He smiles, gestures to a small bowl of crimson salsa, then drizzles it on my eggs. “A must.”

  I put the eggs in my mouth. Cooper was right: They’re amazing.

  “So,” he says, then adds nothing to his sentence. I wonder if he’s waiting for me, or searching for words.

  I say, “So, what have you been up to since, like, forever?”

  Cooper smiles, but doesn’t answer. “What in the fuck, Liza?” He cracks into laughter. “Where to start? I can’t believe you’re here, or that we did that. It’s unreal. I’m so not prepared.”

  Cooper’s words crumble through his laughter. He’s flushed. Embarrassed. It’s adorable. I’m glad he’s not wearing his shades.

  “Why is it so hard to believe? We used to do it all the time.”

  “That was a while ago, Liza. A lifetime. I figured it’d be different now.”

  “Oh my God, Cooper. Are you kidding? You’re acting like we’re ancient. We’re not. We’re still practically kids. It wasn’t a long time ago, definitely not a lifetime. You’re so fucking dramatic.”

  “Well, at least you’re not a bitch anymore,” Cooper laughs.

  “I’ve never been a bitch. The only people who really think I’m a bitch are people who don’t know me.”

  He nods, still smiling. “I know, Liza. You just know what you want, and aren’t ever afraid to go get it.” After a pause he clears his throat. “So, where do we start?”

  I shrug. “I guess you should say what you’re thinking.”

  The words have barely left my mouth. He says, “I thought you hated me.”

  I told Cooper I’d never call him again, then didn’t until now. He never knew, but I’ve been cool with Cooper for a while.

  “It’s okay,” I assure him. “You don’t have to worry about any of that. I promise. That was a long time ago. We were kids. You weren’t trying to be a dick, you were a teenage boy, and didn’t know how much you hurt me.”

  “But I did.” Cooper looked down. “And I’m sorry.”

  There’s a quiet moment between us. It’s beautiful, and healing. I inhale it while eating my eggs. I let Cooper watch me without saying stop. There’s something special about what’s passing between us. It’s old worn. He knows a Liza that Richard cannot.

  “Well,” Cooper says, looking into my eyes. “I just don’t want you to think I don’t know, or that I never cared. I do, and did. I think about it a lot, and am always sorry when I do.”

  I laugh to show I’m okay, and slap him on the shoulder. “I wouldn’t be here if I was mad. You know me better than that.”

  “True.”

  “So, let’s start with a story. You go first, to say you’re sorry.”

  “Fair enough,” he says. “What sort of story you want to hear?”

  “Tell me the most amazing thing you’ve done since the last time I saw you.”

  Cooper likes the question. I can tell by his dancing eyes, three shades brighter, as if they’re grabbing light from the sky. He appears to think, stroking his chin like a cartoon. Finally: “I made a million dollars.”

  “That’s not impressive, Cooper. You had more than that before you were born.”

  “No,” He grinned. “This is different. I really mean I really made it. This money has nothing to do with Mom or Dad. I could blow out tomorrow if I wanted. Buy my own place: cash. But I don’t want to. This is home.” He smiled and added, “Tons of memories.”

  “How did you make a million?”

  “Well, in the interest of full disclosure, it isn’t actually a million. But it will be. My cut is over $940,000 now, and we’re going strong.”

  “Who is we?” I ask. “And what do you mean cut? Are you selling drugs? I’m not judging, but not cool if you are.”

  “How is that not judging?” he smiles. “But no, I’m not doing anything like that. I have a band. The Atomic Weirdos.”

  “Great name.” I laugh. “I didn’t know you played any instruments. What do you play?”

  “Actually, I can play guitar and piano. Took lessons every day for a couple of years after high school. I’m good at both, but nowhere near as good as the band. I’m not actually in it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m their manager.”

  “Wow, things really have changed. That’s totally not the type of job I would’ve pictured for you. Do you like it?”

  “I love it. But it’s probably not like you’re thinking. I’m not an agent. I don’t get gigs for the band or any of that. I’m not Ari Gold.”

  “So, what do you do?”

  Cooper smiled. “I make them famous.”

  I smiled back, loving how playful he seemed, and so perfectly young. That wasn’t like Richard at all.

  “I’m a better than decent Internet marketer. I learned a bunch of stupid tricks to make fast money online. I didn’t need the money, but loved learning the tricks. Once I had enough, I used them to blow up the Weirdos. They’re doing well. So, that’s my full-time gig, and it isn’t even full time. I’m squirreling, and my parents have no idea how well I’m doing. I don’t want them to, until my stacks are fatter.”

  “Impressive,” I say. “Where can I find the Atomic Weirdos?”

  “If you were cool like you were in high school, you would’ve known already.”

  “Ouch.”

  He smiles, and steals a bite of my eggs.

  “It’s OK, that’s what happens when you get old. Don’t take it personally. Takes a ton of work to stay this cool.”

  “More or less than it takes to tan your dick.”

  “I don’t tan my dick.”

  “OK.”

  “Anyway, you can find Atomic Weirdos on iTunes, CDBaby, Spotify, anywhere. Just look. You’ll dig their shit for sure, unless you’ve changed more than I think you have. And FYI if you hear it, the song Liza: total coincidence.”

  His sly smile. It might be what I miss most. Maybe more than his tan dick.

  “Your turn,” h
e says. “What’s the most amazing thing you’ve done since the last time I saw you?”

  “Hmmm … ” I say, thinking. I should be prepared for the question. I look up and smile. “I can sleep with the door unlocked.”

  He draws a mock serious expression and claps a hand to his cheek. “Oh my,” Cooper says. “That is quite an accomplishment. Surely you’ve had T-shirts made for the family? I could build you a Facebook fan page if you’d like, you know, for the promotion.”

  “Fuck you,” I say. “I never spent the night here, so you don’t know this about me, but once upon a not too long ago, I couldn’t sleep if the door was unlocked. Sometimes I’d wake up and check in the middle of the night.”

  “What in your life, Liza Elway, have you ever been scared of?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know why, but it was something I had to do.”

  “And you don’t anymore?”

  I ask myself if I don’t really have to, or if I’ve learned to ignore it.

  “I guess not,” I say.

  “So, what changed?”

  “Richard. I haven’t locked a door since the day I moved in.”

  “Well, sounds like he’s Mr. Perfect. Why are you here?”

  “I told you: because he wants me to be. Now tell me another story.”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “The craziest thing you’ve done.”

  “The craziest? You mean sexually? With my dick? Or, like, normal life?”

  “I meant normal life, but now I’m curious, so I guess tell me both.”

  He makes a large, exaggerated sigh. “You’re so full of questions, Ms. Elway.”

  “So start answering.”

  “Craziest thing I’ve done in real life, I guess going off to live alone, away from every man, woman, and child on the planet for 100 days.”

  “Really?” I’m surprised. “That doesn’t sound like you.”

  “Exactly why I did it. I woke up two years ago thinking I didn’t want to be 35 and realizing I spent my 20s on my cell. I had to unplug. Not just from Wi-Fi, but like, life.”

  “Where did you go?”

  “My parents’ place in Colorado. It’s in the sticks.”

  “So, you went to unplug in a mansion? Wow. You are exactly like Amelia Earhart. With a tan dick.”

  Cooper ignores me. “It wasn’t about being without crap. I didn’t want to live in a tent. I wanted to be alone enough to figure shit out. I brought a lot of paper and a lot of pens. Books. But no electronics.”

  “You didn’t watch TV?”

  “Nope.”

  “Listen to music?”

  “Nope.”

  “What did you eat?”

  “I went to Whole Foods before the 100 days started. Bought enough stores to keep me through a few winters.”

  “So, how did you feel when you were finished?”

  “Like a new person. It was amazing. I didn’t realize until I was there, how unplugged I actually was. It wasn’t just the Wi-Fi and all that implies, it was the people and places I’d worn like a skin, for like my entire life. Sure, I was in my parents’ place, and it was nice and all that, but there was no one for miles and I felt it.”

  “Would you do it again?”

  “In a second,” he says, then swallows and adds, “I’d especially do it with you, Liza. If you have that long before you’re saying you do.”

  He smiles, but it’s awkward.

  “So how about sexually, what crazy things have you done with that tan dick?”

  “I was in an orgy.”

  “Yawn,” I tease. “Who hasn’t?”

  He looks at me, half shocked. “You? Really?”

  “Plenty,” I nod.

  “Well, by orgy I mean a bukakke party.”

  “Wow,” I smile. “That’s impressive. Were you supplying the syrup, or taking it on the face?”

  “There was a girl in the middle, smartass. A redhead and seven guys.”

  “I don’t get that crap,” I shake my head. “I mean, I like cum. Love it actually, one of my favorite parts of … ”

  “I know,” Cooper says. “I’ve been with you.”

  I laugh and go on. “Anyway, I don’t get that. It’s just degrading.”

  “Maybe that’s what gets them off.”

  “Clearly. I’m just saying it doesn’t work for me.”

  “No,” he said. “I can’t imagine it would. Tell you the truth, I’m not even sure it worked for the guest of honor.”

  “What do you mean? She wasn’t into it?”

  “Not really. It looked more like she was filling a role than starring in one. The whole thing felt off. Not hot at all. At least not for me. I’ll never do it again.”

  “So, the opposite of Colorado?”

  Cooper laughs. “Yeah, officially: Bukkake is the opposite of Colorado.”

  “Hey, Cooper?”

  “Yeah?”

  “How often did you jack off, during your 100 days?”

  He grins. “At least 100.”

  I slap my hand on the table and rub it against the soft wood, laughing. “Don’t feel bad. I’m like that, too. Once a day, at least. I can’t get enough.”

  “So, what’s the craziest thing you’ve done?”

  “I’ll give you both answers at once. The craziest thing I’ve done, in life and sexually, was traveling Europe for two years.”

  “The rich girl backpacking thing? Wow. That’s almost as impressive as living in a mansion in Colorado for 100 days.”

  “Yes and no. I basically went from country to country without any plan or direction. Most of my days were filled with empty, meaningless sex.”

  “Sounds awesome.”

  “It totally was.”

  “So, no specific stories? That hardly seems fair. Feels like you’re dodging.”

  “I spent a long time with two girls, Sasha and Hope. I could’ve stayed with them forever, and almost did. They were gorgeous, knew my body, and did yummy things to it. Treated me like a goddess. Both were models — you would probably recognize them — and made absurd amounts of money. We were always sleeping with great-looking guys, and one another, working out, traveling, and having shit tons of fun.”

  “So, why did you leave? Fuck, Liza. I would’ve stayed!”

  “They started using, and I didn’t want to. I didn’t judge them, but started feeling more out of place, until I didn’t want to be there. So, I flew home, then met Richard not long after that.”

  “And he’s the one?”

  “He’s the one.”

  “So, why are you here? And because Richard told you to isn’t an answer. You’re Liza fucking Elway. I’ve never seen you do anything you didn’t want to, and I wouldn’t believe it if someone told me you did. Your guy may have suggested that you go on a walkabout, but you went because you wanted to.”

  “Fair enough,” I say. Of course, Cooper is right.

  “So, why did you go?”

  “I’m here to figure out if Richard is really the right man for the rest of my life, or if I only think he is.”

  “Is it because he’s 100 million years old?”

  “He’s not that old, and yes that’s part of it, but not like you probably think.”

  I look up, searching for words. “I don’t mind that Richard’s older than me — not old, Cooper — because I find his age unattractive. His body’s hard like yours, but larger. And the lines on his face tell stories. I love them. I feel like he needs me more — I like that — and I also feel like he needs me less. He’s wise, and his own person. He can take or leave me, but can’t live without me. He’s sexy even when sleeping, and knows how to use his body better than any many I’ve ever known. No offense.”

  “None taken,” Cooper shrugs. “It’s totally cool that you’re into mummies or daddies or whatever.”

  I ignore him. “What bothers me, if anything does, is that Richard knows so much more about the world than I do. It’s not like he’s smarter than me, though I’m sure he is.
But he’s lived more life, and that’s a fact. His years have more significance. He wins every argument and uses experience for evidence. I don’t stand a chance, and feel like I’m not bringing enough to the table.”

  “Do you think he knows how you feel?”

  “Richard knows how I feel about everything. I don’t even try to hide anymore. He announces my feelings, sometimes while they’re stirring inside me. It’s terribly sexy and a little creepy. I hate it and love it.” I nod. “That’s why I’m here.”

  “So, you think there’s a chance you might not go back?”

  “None,” I shake my head. “It’s not that I’m not meant for Richard, or that Richard isn’t meant for me. It’s that I have to figure a few things before I can prove that’s true.

  “Like coming here and fucking me?”

  I nod.

  “And Leigh? And her new girlfriend, Jenny?”

  I nod again.

  “Where you going next?”

  I shrug. Cooper laughs. “Bullshit. You have a list.”

  “Maybe.”

  “So, that’s all it is?” Cooper steers the conversation. “You’re not looking for anything more physical with Richard?”

  “I told you, sex with Richard is amazing.”

  “That doesn’t answer the question. You know Antonio’s, at the bottom of the hill? Best pasta pomodoro ever. There’s a drop too much olive oil, but that doesn’t stop it from being the best.”

  I say, “Richard won’t fuck my ass.”

  “What?” Cooper raises his eyebrows. “I thought getting to dart the brownie was a holy Grail for most guys.”

  I shrug. “He doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with anal, it’s not dirty or anything, it just doesn’t do anything for him. We’ve done it a few times, for me, but I don’t like doing things he doesn’t want to do.”

  “What other things doesn’t he want to do?”

  “That’s it.”

  “So, you’re bitching that Mr. Perfect won’t shine your sheriff’s badge, the one thing most girls don’t even want? Wow. Life really sucks for Liza Elway.”

  “Fuck you, Cooper. I wasn’t bitching. You asked me a question. I gave you an answer. I don’t like doing stuff other people don’t want to do. That makes anal no fun with Richard. Which is fine. But you asked, and that’s one thing missing. I always liked it with you.” I smile. “You were the first guy to fuck my ass.”