Waltz in the Wilderness

by Kathleen Denly

  “What’s this?” Mr. Davidson stood in the drawing room door. “Did I hear my name? I should be grateful for what?”

  Alice jumped and cold washed down her body. “Mr. Davidson.” He appeared as disheveled as the first time she’d seen him.

  Richard bowed. “Good evening, sir.” He glared at Alice. “I believe my sister has something to tell you.”

  Chapter 36

  The ache in Daniel’s back after nearly three days in the saddle was nothing compared to the ache in his chest. He’d left without saying good-bye. Why?

  Because there was nothing left to say.

  He shook his head as he reined his horse to a stop in front of the Exchange.

  No, that wasn’t true. There were three very important words he yearned to speak to Eliza. But I can’t. I shouldn’t even think them. Yet the moment she’d dashed from the cabin, he knew them to be undeniably true.

  I love her. With a depth and a breadth that seemed impossible.

  He had glimpsed her physical beauty many times from afar, but the day he spotted her on the Davidsons’ balcony, he saw her soul. It was a rare, vulnerable moment when she allowed her true heart to show through the tough exterior she’d developed to survive the upper social circles of San Francisco.

  He hadn’t recognized it right away, but he could see it now. As she grew to trust him, she opened her true self to him. The more he learned of her heart, the more he lost his own. Who could help falling in love with such a loyal, loving, courageous, and beautiful woman?

  He slid from the horse and leaned his forehead against its side, his eyes closed. Lord, how do I forget her?

  Alice glowered at Richard as Mr. Davidson stuck his head into the hall and bellowed for his wife.

  Richard had left her no choice but to tell Mr. Davidson what she’d overheard. The longer she talked, the redder Mr. Davidson’s face had become. Far from appearing grateful, the man seemed ready to spit nails. Why hadn’t her brother listened to her and kept his voice down? There would be no chance of her attaining that position as a governess once Mrs. Davidson obeyed her husband’s summons and learned of Alice’s betrayal.

  “Cecilia!” Mr. Davidson pivoted and paced the room. Hurried footsteps drew nearer.

  Mrs. Davidson appeared in the doorway, short of breath. “Henry? What is it? My goodness, is everything all right?”

  Mr. Davidson paced away from his wife.

  She glanced at Alice and Richard. “Is this something we should discuss in private?”

  Mr. Davidson spun toward her. “Yes. I do believe this is something we ought to have discussed in private, but it seems you have chosen not to discuss it at all.”

  Mrs. Davidson’s face screwed up. “I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

  “My niece, Cecilia.” Mr. Davidson stepped toward his wife. “Where is my niece?”

  All color drained from Mrs. Davidson’s face. She stiffened. “H-how should I know?”

  Alice sat frozen beside her brother as Mr. Davidson leaned forward, towering over his wife. A vein pulsed in his forehead.

  “Will you stop lying and tell me where she is?” His eyes narrowed. “Or should I ask Frank?”

  “F-Frank?”

  Mr. Davidson stepped around his wife and leaned into the hallway once more. “Frank!”

  Footsteps pounded up the hallway. A moment later, Mr. Davidson stepped back to allow Frank into the room.

  Frank’s gaze moved from face to face, his expression inscrutable.

  Mr. Davidson took a deep breath. He opened his mouth to speak, but Mrs. Davidson stepped forward.

  “My dear, why trouble Frank about this? Surely if he knew Eliza’s whereabouts he’d have said so instead of driving you all over town to search for her.” She sniffed. “After all, what kind of loyal servant would hide such information from the man who’s been a more-than-generous employer?”

  “Well, let’s see.” Mr. Davidson tapped his lips. “Perhaps one who’s had his freedom threatened, hmm?”

  Mrs. Davidson whirled on Alice. “Well! What lies have you been feeding my husband? Is this the thanks I get for taking you into my home and—”

  “Enough!” Mr. Davidson’s roar brought his wife’s rant to a halt. He spread his hands and focused on the servant. “Tell me, Frank. I promise you, nothing bad will happen to you or your papers. You have become more than a servant to me. You have become my friend. I am unspeakably sorry that my wife ever made you question your place here or feel that you needed to worry for your freedom. Please. Tell me what you know of my niece.”

  Frank eyed Mrs. Davidson, who slumped on the settee, staring at the ceiling. He raised his chin and reached into his pocket. He withdrew a singed piece of paper, which he handed to Mr. Davidson. “Mrs. Davidson tried to burn it, sir, but I done saved it when she left the room. Somes the words are gone, but most seems all right.”

  “It was mailed from Monterey.” Mr. Davidson unfolded the paper and squinted at the top. “This is dated two days after Eliza disappeared.” He scanned the contents. “She departed with the Virginia…and is headed to San Diego. Of course.” He regarded Frank. “You know I suspected as much, but none of the ticketing agents or seamen I spoke with could remember seeing her.” He scanned the letter again. “Foolish girl! Why did you not wait?”

  “Sir, there’s another one come this morning, but Mrs. Davidson kept it.”

  Mr. Davidson faced his wife.

  She heaved a sigh and twisted so that her back was to the room. Despite her attempt at discretion, it was clear she withdrew the missive from her bosom. She pivoted and held the letter out.

  Mr. Davidson snatched it and checked the address. “She made it to San Diego.” He opened the letter and read in silence for several moments. When he lifted his head again, he focused on Alice. “It would seem your Mr. Clarke has not returned to Boston after all.”

  Alice sucked in a breath. “What?”

  “My niece writes that he has offered to assist her in her search for Jim, my brother.” His gaze returned to the letter. “Someone has told them Jim is in the mountains, and she intends to search for him there.”

  Their hostess emitted a humorless laugh. “So she’s gallivanting about the wilderness unchaperoned and with another woman’s fiancé. I told you, Henry, the girl has absolutely no sense. She—”

  “That’s enough!” Mr. Davidson waved the letter in his wife’s face. “I’ll not hear one more word against Eliza.”

  Mrs. Davidson pressed her lips together and lifted her chin, but Alice detected a tinge of fear in the woman’s eyes.

  Alice regarded Richard. “Would Daniel truly do such a thing?”

  Richard eyed the ceiling for a moment. “If he felt Mr. Davidson’s niece would be in danger traveling on her own and could not dissuade her from going, I think he might.”

  “And Eliza is not easily dissuaded of anything, especially when it comes to her father.” Mr. Davidson folded both letters and tucked them into his coat pocket. He shook his finger at Mrs. Davidson. “You’ve gone too far this time, Cecilia. I’ve put up with your behavior because I know how difficult your childhood was and how much gaining acceptance in society means to you.”

  Mrs. Davidson straightened and cast a glance at Alice and Richard, but said nothing as Mr. Davidson continued.

  “Not being female myself, you know I leaned on your judgment of how best to prepare Eliza for womanhood. I excused your coldness toward her as a way of buffeting yourself from her resemblance to your painful younger years. Each time Eliza complained to me of your actions, I defended you. I trusted you.” He cut his hand through the air. “No longer. You are forbidden to attend any more of the social gatherings you care so much about.”

  Alice cringed at the thud of a coffin closing on her chance of attaining that position as a tutor.

  Mrs. Davidson opened her mouth, but Mr. Davidson held up his hand as he continued. “Whatever engagements you have on your calendar must be cancelled. For the nex
t two years, you will devote yourself to assisting and socializing with those of our city who are in need. You will also find somewhere that you may be of use. Be it in a baker’s shop, a dressmaker’s store, or even one of my own storefronts, you must find a position and earn every cent that you wish to spend on dresses, shoes, hats, or the like, because beginning this minute, your allowance is no more.”

  Mrs. Davidson surged to her feet. “You can’t be serious.”

  He tipped his chin down to peer at her over his spectacles. “I have never been more serious in my life. You clearly need reminding what it is to be in need. I only hope it isn’t too late for you to learn some compassion and humility.”

  “But I’ll be a laughingstock.” Her hands clutched at her neck. “I won’t ever be able to show my face again in good society.” Her creamy complexion turned sickly gray. “My friends will disown me.”

  “Then they were never your friends to begin with.”

  Mrs. Davidson stepped forward and caught her husband’s arm in her hands. “Henry, think of your own reputation. If I go out and find a”—she shuddered—“position. The men you do business with are sure to hear of it. Why, they’ll believe your businesses must be on the verge of collapse for you to send your own wife out to earn a wage. They’ll be afraid to do business with you. You’ll be ruined!”

  “Nonsense. The men I deal with have far more common sense than you give them credit for. One frank conversation will set them right. So that’s the end of it. I will not be dissuaded.” He broke free of his wife and turned toward Alice. “Now then, Miss Stevens, can you be packed by tomorrow?”

  He was throwing her out. Alice tugged on a curl and wrapped it around her finger. “To-tomorrow?”

  “There’s a ship that departs tomorrow and will set in at San Diego on its way farther south. I don’t believe another ship will do so for more than a week. I’m determined to reach my niece as soon as possible, and I assumed you would feel the same about Daniel.”

  Did she? No thrill seized her at the idea that Daniel might be closer than they had believed. Until this moment, it had not even occurred to her to join him in San Diego. She had somewhat formed the notion of sending him a letter and awaiting his return to this city. Although, where would she send the letter? Also, now that her welcome in this home seemed at an end, what return address could she give? “Didn’t you say they’d left San Diego?”

  “Yes, but only to the mountains east of there. I’m certain we’ll be able to find them without too much trouble. In any case, I’m determined to try and I’m more than happy to pay your fare so that you may reunite with Daniel. He was as fine an employee as I’ve ever had, and after his loyalty all these years, it would please me to return his fiancée to him.”

  Richard shifted in his seat. “I hadn’t planned on leaving San Francisco, but I suppose—”

  “Oh. No, your escort would not be necessary, Mr. Stevens.” He waved to his wife still gaping at her husband from the settee. “My wife and I will be more than happy to act as your sister’s chaperones so that you may retain your job here or else venture off into the gold fields, as I know you had planned to do.”

  Richard clapped Alice on the back. “It’s all settled then.”

  Was it? She did not remember agreeing to go.

  Then again, no one had asked her whether she wanted to go to California either.

  Stirring across the tiny cabin woke Eliza the next morning.

  Daniel’s gone. I’ll never see him again.

  She pulled the blanket over her head.

  “Eliza? Are you awake?”

  Burying her face in the furs, she pretended not to hear Pa’s whisper.

  “Let her sleep. I sleep, too.”

  Bless you, Ysabel.

  Eliza spent the entire first day crying into her pallet.

  The next day, even Ysabel was dressed and prepared to head out before Eliza.

  Then Pa came and shook her.

  “All right.” She pushed his hand away. “I’ll get up.”

  He left and she got dressed. She skipped the bowl of meal he’d left for her and wandered down to the gorge. Memories of Daniel assisting her over the giant boulders played in her mind. She lingered at the spot where they’d almost kissed.

  Thankfully, no one came searching for her.

  By the end of the third day, though, she needed something to occupy her time, or she would go mad dwelling on how much she’d lost.

  Convincing Pa and Andrew to let her help them build the corral didn’t take long. Pa never tried to stop her doing anything that wasn’t dangerous, and hacking off the extra branches before guiding the horse downhill with the felled trees could hardly be considered that.

  The bigger problem was controlling her thoughts on those solitary trips up and down the hill. No matter how she tried, her heart kept pulling her mind back to the man she’d lost.

  In the yard behind the Coopers’ cabin, she untied the last tree trunk and led her horse to the metal tub they used as a trough. As she waited for the animal to drink its fill, her face lifted to the cloud-covered sky. Lord, I don’t understand why you brought Daniel into my life only to rip him away again, but Andrew says You work all things for good for those who love You. I do love You, God. Help me to trust in You as well. I don’t want to carry this pain alone. Please, Lord. Take it from me.

  The mare lifted her head, and Eliza led her back up the hillside. As she threaded her way through the sparse trees and shrubs, her heart still ached for the man she loved, but somehow, pressed in beside the pain, was an inexplicable peace. She didn’t understand God’s ways and probably never would, this side of heaven, but He did love her. He loved Daniel as well. She could cling to her disappointments and let the fear of more pain control her future, or she could choose to give her worries to God and trust that the One in control was more loving and wise than she could ever comprehend. It wouldn’t be easy, but for the first time in her life…

  She was ready to let go.

  Puffy gray clouds muted the morning sun and dulled the sparkle of San Diego’s bay. A ship sat anchored in the calm water. Daniel stood on shore, his carpetbag in hand and his trunk beside him. He awaited the first small boat of arriving passengers. Once they were deposited, Daniel and the one other man waiting nearby would be taken aboard.

  His gaze fixed on the gentle waves lapping against the ship’s hull.

  He had been made to wait four days for the next southbound ship to set in at San Diego. It took him less than a half day to stroll the town’s plaza and browse its few shops and businesses. Visiting the river to the north brought back painful memories of the night he found Eliza casting rocks into its shallow waters.

  He needed distraction.

  So he wandered south of the plaza toward Davis’s New Town, which Daniel had read about in the Alta California some years back. Seeing what remained of the businessman’s speculation was nothing short of depressing. The majority of the buildings were gone, their wood presumably scavenged. Of the few buildings left, most appeared unoccupied and dismal—their interiors hollow. What remained of the wharf poked through the surface of the bay like the rotted teeth of a mouth screaming at the sky.

  What had Davis been thinking?

  In the end, Daniel abandoned his pursuit of external diversion and spent the majority of his days and every evening reading his Bible, searching in vain for the peace that had disappeared the hour he left the mountains.

  It was the right thing to do. Scripture could not be more clear in its admonition that a man must be true to his word. Yet, a sense of unease filled him as he’d departed the mountains, and he had yet to shake it. Mourning the loss of such an amazing woman was understandable. Expected, even. But why did he have this inexplicable feeling that something more was wrong?

  “Mr. Clarke!”

  Daniel’s head whipped up. His mouth dropped open. Mr. Davidson waved at him from the approaching boat. Beside him sat Mrs. Davidson—a wilted version of her former haugh
ty self, with her shoulders curled inward and her skin even paler than when he’d last seen her. Perhaps she was among those whose constitution could not tolerate the rocking of the ocean.

  What were they doing here? Had they come to see Eliza?

  Daniel turned to contemplate the distant mountains as passengers disembarked behind him. If the Davidsons had come to visit Eliza, he must draw them a map of the way he came down. Mrs. Davidson wouldn’t be able to endure the route he and Eliza had taken into the mountains.

  “Daniel?”

  That voice. His heart raced. It couldn’t be.

  He whipped around, then staggered backward. The curves of her dress were fuller, and her youthful glow had begun to fade, reflecting a maturity she’d not had when he last saw her. Still…

  It was his fiancée standing before him.

  Alice stretched her lips in a soft smile. “Hello.” A strong breeze tossed a strand of her hair into her face. She tucked it behind her ear.

  Daniel gaped at her. “What are you doing here?”

  What kind of welcome was that? Alice’s smile stiffened. “I’ve come to be with you, of course.”

  “But why? How?”

  She let her smile fall. Daniel did not seem happy to see her. Her breath caught. Had he changed his mind about marrying her? What would she do if he had?

  Benjamin’s handsome visage flashed through her mind.

  Mr. Davidson joined Alice and Daniel, Mrs. Davidson behind him.

  Daniel offered his hand. “Mr. Davidson. A pleasure to see you again, sir. Have you come to visit your niece? I want to assure you that she has found her father and is doing well.”

  “That is so good to hear.” Mr. Davidson’s posture relaxed. “We’ve also brought you your fiancée, as you can see. She was keenly disappointed to arrive in San Francisco last week and find you gone.”

  Alice pressed her fingertips against her cheek, considering her fiancé’s former employer. Mr. Davidson seemed to be a sympathetic man, and he was fond of Daniel. If Daniel rejected her, could she prevail upon his kindness to loan her the fare for a return ticket to Boston? Surely Benjamin would admit his love for her once he knew Daniel no longer wanted her. That kiss had to mean something to him as well. For her part, she’d not been able to forget it.