Will of Steel

by Diana Palmer

  “But that’s crazy!”

  “No crazier than you second-guessing your own reactions, when you actually had to run to a neighbor’s house to save yourself from assault,” he pointed out.

  She gnawed her lower lip. “I was scared to death.” She looked up at him. “Men are so strong,” she said. “Even thin men like Davy. I almost didn’t get away. And when I did, he went nuts. He was yelling threats all the way to the Peales’ house. I really think he would have killed me if Sassy hadn’t pulled that shotgun. He might have killed her, too, and it would have been my fault, for running over there for help. But it was the only house close enough.”

  “I’m sure Sassy never blamed you for that. She’s a good person.”

  “So are you,” she commented quietly. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a trial to you.”

  His face softened. His black eyes searched hers. “I should have been more understanding.” He grimaced. “You don’t get how it is, Jake, to go out with a woman you want and be apprehensive about even touching her.”

  She had a blank look on her face.

  “You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?” he asked in a frustrated tone. He moved closer. “Maybe it’s time you did.”

  He curled her into his body with a long, powerful arm and bent his head. He kissed her with soft persuasion at first, then, when she relaxed, his mouth became invasive. He teased her lips apart and nibbled them. He felt her stiffen at first, but after a few seconds, she became more flexible. She stopped resisting and stood very still.

  She hadn’t known that she could feel such things. Up until now, Ted had been almost teasing when he kissed her. But this time, he wasn’t holding anything back. His arm, at her back, arched her up against him. His big hand smoothed up from her waist and brushed lightly at the edges of her small, firm breast.

  She really should protest, she told herself. She shouldn’t let him do that. But as the kisses grew longer and hungrier, her body began to feel swollen and hot. She ached for more than she was getting, but she didn’t understand what she wanted.

  Ted felt those vague longings in her and knew how to satisfy them. His mouth ground down onto hers as his fingers began to smooth over the soft mound of flesh, barely touching, kindling hungers that Jillian had never known before.

  She gasped when his fingers rubbed over the nipple and it became hard and incredibly sensitive. She tried to draw back, but not with any real enthusiasm.

  “Scared?” he whispered against her mouth. “No need. We have a chaperone.”

  “The door…it’s closed.”

  “Yes, thank goodness,” he groaned, “because if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t dare do this.”

  “This” involved the sudden rise of her shirt and the bra up under her chin and the shocking, delicious, invasion of Ted’s warm mouth over her breast.

  She shuddered. It was the most intense pleasure she’d ever felt. Her short nails dug into his broad shoulders as she closed her eyes and arched backward to give him even better access to the soft, warm flesh that ached for his tender caress.

  She felt his hand cupping her, lifting her, as his mouth opened over the nipple and he took it between his lips and tongue.

  Her soft gasp was followed by a harsh, shivering little moan that cost him his control. Not only had it been a long, dry spell, but this woman was the most important person in his life and he wanted her with an obsessive hunger. He hadn’t been able to sleep for thinking about how sweet it would be to make love to her. And now she was, despite her hang-ups, not only welcoming his touch, but enjoying it.

  “You said you didn’t want to marry me,” he whispered roughly as his mouth became more demanding.

  Her nails dug into his back. “I said a lot of things,” she agreed. Her eyes closed as she savored the spicy smell of his cologne, the tenderness of his mouth on forbidden flesh. “I might have even…believed them, at the time.”

  He lifted his head and looked down at her. His expression tautened at the sight of her pretty, firm breasts, and his body clenched. “I took it personally. Like you thought there was something wrong with me.”

  “Ted, no!” she exclaimed.

  He pulled back the hand that was tracing around her nipple.

  She bit her lip. “I wasn’t saying no to that,” she said with hopeless shyness, averting her eyes. “I meant, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you…!”

  She gasped as he responded to the blatant invitation in her voice and teased the hard rise of flesh with his thumb and forefinger.

  “You don’t?” he whispered, and smiled at her in a way that he never had before.

  “Of course not! I was just scared,” she managed, because what he was doing was creating sensations in some very private places. “Scared of marriage, I mean.”

  “Marriage is supposed to be a feast of pleasure for two people who care about each other,” he pointed out, watching with delight her fascination with what he was doing to her willing body. He drew in a long breath and bent his head. “I’m beginning to believe it.”

  He opened his mouth over her soft breast and drew it inside, suckling it with his lips and his tongue in a slow, easy caress that caused her whole body to clench and shiver. As his ardor increased, he felt with wonder the searching fingers on the buttons of his shirt. They hesitated.

  “Men like to be touched, too,” he whispered into her ear.

  “Oh.”

  She finished opening the button, a little clumsily, and spread her hands over the thick, curling mass of hair that covered his chest. “Wow,” she whispered when sensations rippled through her body and seemed to be echoed coming from his. “You like that?” she asked hesitantly.

  “I love it,” he gritted.

  She smiled with the joy of discovery as she looked up at him, at his mussed hair, his sensuous mouth, his sparkling black eyes. It was new, this shared pleasure. And she’d been so certain that she’d never be able to feel it with him, with anyone.

  He bent to her mouth and crushed his lips down over it as his body eased onto hers. She felt the press of his bare chest against her breasts and arched up to increase the contact. Her arms went around him tightly, holding on as the current of passion swept her along.

  He eased one long, powerful leg between both of hers and moved against her in a rhythm that drew shudders and soft moans from her throat. She buried her teeth in his shoulder as the sensations began to rise and become obsessive. He must have felt something comparable, because he suddenly pushed down against her with a harsh groan as his control began to slip.

  The soft knock on the door came again and again, until it was finally a hammering.

  Ted lifted his head, his shocked eyes on Jillian’s pretty pink breasts with visible passion marks, her face flushed and rigid with desire, her eyes turbulent as they met his.

  “What?” Ted said aloud.

  “Steak’s ready! Don’t let it get cold!” Rourke called, and there were audible footsteps going back down the hall.

  With the passion slowly receding, Jillian was disturbed at letting Ted see her like this. Flushed, she fumbled her blouse and bra back on, wincing as the sensitive nipple was brushed by the fabric.

  “Sorry,” he whispered huskily. “I lost my head.”

  She managed a shaky smile. “It’s okay. I lost mine, too.” She looked at him with absolute wonder. “I didn’t know it could feel like that,” she stammered. “I mean, I never felt like that with anybody. Not that I ever let any man do that…!”

  He put a long finger over her lips and smiled at her in a way he never had before. “It’s okay, Jake.”

  She was still trying to catch her breath, and not doing a good job of it.

  “I think you could say that we’re compatible, in that way,” he mused, enjoying her reaction to him more than he could find a way to express.

  She laughed softly. “Yes, I think you could.”

  He smiled. “So, suppose we get married. And you can live with me, here on th
e ranch, and you’ll never have to worry about Harris again.”

  She hesitated, but not for very long. She nodded, slowly. “Okay.”

  His high cheekbones went a ruddy color. It flattered him that she’d agree after a torrid passionate interlude, when he hadn’t been able to persuade her with words.

  “Don’t get conceited,” she said firmly, figuring out his thoughts.

  His eyes twinkled. “Not possible.”

  She laughed. It was as if the world had changed completely in those few minutes. All her hang-ups had gone into eclipse the minute Ted turned the heat up.

  “I wondered,” he confessed, “if you’d be able to respond to a man after what happened to you.”

  “I did, too.” She moved close to him and put her hands on his chest. “It was one reason I was afraid to let things go, well, very far. I didn’t want to lead you on in any way and then pull away and run. I almost did that once.”

  “Yes,” he said.

  “If we get married, you’ll give me a little time, won’t you?” she asked worriedly. “I mean, I think I can do what you want me to. But it’s just getting used to the idea.”

  Ted, who knew more than she did about women’s re actions when passion got really hot, only smiled. “No problem.”

  She grinned. “Okay, then. Do we get married in the justice of the peace’s office…?”

  “In a church,” he interrupted. “And you have to have a white gown and carry a bouquet. I’ll even wear my good suit.” He smiled. “I’m only getting married once, you know. We have to do it right.”

  She loved that attitude. It was what she’d wanted, but she was sensitive about being pushy. “Okay,” she said.

  “You’ll be beautiful in a wedding gown,” he murmured, bending to kiss her tenderly. “Not that you aren’t beautiful in blue jeans. You are.”

  “I’m not,” she faltered.

  “You are to me,” he corrected. His black eyes searched hers and he thought about the future, about living with her, about loving her… He bent and kissed her hungrily, delighting when she returned the embrace fervently.

  “The steak’s going to be room temperature in about thirty seconds!” Rourke shouted down the hall.

  Ted pulled back, laughing self-consciously. “I guess we could eat steak, since he’s been nice enough to cook it,” he told her. His eyes glittered. “We can tell him we’re engaged before we even start eating.”

  “Rourke’s not interested in me that way,” she said easily, smiling. “He’s a nice man, but he’s just protective of women. It isn’t even personal.”

  Ted had his doubts about that. Jillian underestimated her appeal to men.

  “Come on,” she said, and slid her little hand into his big one.

  That knocked the argument right out of him. It was the first physical move she’d made toward him. Well, not the first, but a big one, just the same. He slid his fingers between hers sensually, and smiled at her.

  She smiled back. Her heart was hammering, her senses were alive and tumultuous. It was the beginning of a whole new life. She could hardly wait to marry Ted.

  Rourke gave them a knowing smile when he noticed the telltale signs of what they’d been doing. He served up supper.

  “This is really good,” Ted exclaimed when he took the first bite of his steak.

  “I’m a gourmet chef,” Rourke replied, surprisingly. “In between dangerous jobs, I used to work in one of the better restaurants in Jo’burg,” he said, giving Johannesburg it affectionate abbreviation.

  “Wonders will never cease,” Jillian said with a grin. “From steaks to combat.”

  “Oh, it was always combat first,” Rourke said easily, “since I was born in Africa.”

  “Africa was always a rough venue, from what Cash told me,” Ted said.

  Rourke nodded. “We have plenty of factions, all trying to gain control of the disputed African states, although each is a sovereign nation in the Organization of African Unity, which contains fifty-four nations. The wars are always bloody. And there are millions upon millions of displaced persons, trying to survive with their children. A mercenary doesn’t even have to look for work, it’s all around him.” His face hardened. “What’s hardest is what they do to the kids.”

  “They must die very young there,” Jillian commented sadly.

  “No. They put automatic weapons in their hands when they’re grammar school age, teach them to fire rocket launchers and set explosive charges. They have no sense of what childhood should actually be.”

  “Good heavens!” she exclaimed.

  “You’ve never traveled, Jake,” Ted said gently. “The world is a lot bigger than Hollister.”

  “I guess it is. But I never had the money, even if I’d had the inclination,” she said.

  “That’s why I joined the army.” Ted chuckled. “I knew it was the only way I’d get to travel.”

  “I wanted to see the world, too.” Rourke nodded. “But most of what I’ve seen of it wouldn’t be appropriate for any travel magazine.”

  “You have a ranch?” Ted asked.

  He smiled. “Yes, I do. Luckily it’s not in any of the contested areas, so I don’t have to worry about politicians seizing power and taking over private land.”

  “And you run Brahmas,” Ted said, shaking his head. “Ugly cattle.”

  “They’re bred to endure the heat and sometimes drought conditions that we have in Africa,” Rourke explained. “Our cattle have to be hearty. And some of your American ranchers use them as breeding stock for that very reason.”

  “I know. I’ve seen a lot of them down in Texas.”

  “They don’t mind heat and drought, something you can’t say for several other breed of cattle,” Rourke added.

  “I guess,” Jillian said.

  Rourke finished his steak and took a sip of the strong coffee he’d brewed. “Harris has been frustrated because Jillian got one of the waitresses to start putting cakes out for her in the display case.”

  “They haven’t been selling,” Jillian said sadly. “They used to be very popular, and now hardly anybody wants slices of them. I guess Davy has convinced people that they shouldn’t eat my cooking because I’m such a bad person.”

  “Oh, that’s not true,” Ted said at once. “Don’t you know about the contest?”

  She frowned. “What contest?”

  “You don’t read the local paper, do you?” Rourke chided her.

  She shook her head. “We already know what’s going on, we only read a paper to know who got caught. But I have him,” she pointed at Ted, “to tell me that, so why do I need to spend money for a newspaper?”

  They both laughed.

  “The mayor challenged everyone in Hollister to give up sweets for two weeks. It’s a competition between businesses and people who work for them. At the end of the two weeks, everybody gets weighed, and the business with the employees who lost the most weight gets a cash prize, put up by the businesses themselves. The employees get to decide how the money’s spent, too, so they can use it for workplace improvements or cash bonuses.”

  Jillian perked up. “Then it isn’t about me!”

  “Of course not,” Ted chuckled. “I’ve heard at least two men who eat in that restaurant complain because they couldn’t eat those delicious cakes until the contest ended.”

  “I feel so much better,” she said.

  “I’m glad,” Rourke told her. “But that still doesn’t solve your problem. Harris bought a Bowie knife and he doesn’t hunt.” He let the implication sink in. “He’s facing at least ten to fifteen on the charges if he goes back to trial and is convicted again. He’s been heard saying that he’ll never go back to that hellhole voluntarily. So basically he’s got nothing to lose.” He glanced at Ted. “You know that already.”

  Ted nodded. “Yes, I do,” he replied. He smiled at Jillian. “Which is why we’re getting married Saturday.”

  She gasped. “Saturday? But there’s not enough time…!”

/>   “There is. We’ll manage. Meanwhile,” Ted said, “you’re going to take Sassy’s invitation seriously and stay out at her ranch until the ceremony. Right?”

  She wanted to argue, but both males had set faces and determined expressions. So she sighed and said, “Right.”

  Ten

  Not only did John and Sassy Callister welcome Jillian as a houseguest, Sassy threw herself into wedding preparations and refused to listen to Jillian’s protests.

  “I’ve never gotten to plan a wedding, not even my own,” Sassy laughed. “John hired a professional to do it for us because so many important people came to the ceremony. So now I’m taking over preparations for yours.”

  “But I can’t afford this store,” the younger woman tried to complain. “They don’t even put price tags on this stuff!”

  Sassy gave her a smile. “John and I agreed that our wedding present to you is going to be the gown and accessories,” she said. “So you can hand it down through your family. You might have a daughter who’d love to wear it at her own wedding.”

  Jillian hadn’t thought about that. She became dreamy. A child. A little girl that she could take on walks, cuddle and rock, read stories to. That was a part of marriage she’d never dwelled on before. Now, it was a delightful thought.

  “So stop arguing,” Sassy said gently, “and start making choices.”

  Jillian hugged her. “Thanks. For the gown and for letting me stay with you until the wedding.”

  “This is what friends are for. You’d do it for me in a heartbeat if our situations were reversed.”

  “Yes, but I could have gotten you killed that night by running to you for help,” Jillian said. “It torments me.”

  “I was perfectly capable of handling Davy Harris. And now I’ve got John, who can handle anything.”

  “You’re very lucky. He’s a good man.”

  “Yes, he is,” Sassy agreed with a smile.

  “I’ve never seen anything as beautiful as these dresses,” Jillian began.

  “I hear you’re getting married Saturday, Jilly,” came a cold, taunting voice from behind her.