Slave To Her Desires

by Myles, Jill

  I’d hide myself away and starve before getting back under his control – I’d commit suicide first.

  A warm hand touched my arm and I smelled David’s musky scent as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. I wanted to push him away and leave me to my grief and fright. It made me strong.

  But I was so, so tired of being strong.

  “I’m with you, Olivia,” David said. “This time, I’m here for you. And I won’t let him get you again.”

  “But you have to sleep,” I said in a low voice. “You can’t keep me safe at night. He’ll guess that and change his tactics.”

  “I know where we can take her,” said Noah. “We may sleep through the night, but I know just the place that she’ll be safe.” His gaze rested on David, his expression solemn. “I think you know the place I speak of.”

  David apparently did. He nodded at Noah and then turned back to me, squeezing my arm. “Come. Trust us. Let me take care of you.”

  “I can’t trust anyone,” I said, but the order to trust him was not one I could refuse. I obeyed, as always.

  * * *

  We returned quickly to Noah’s apartment, and my suspicions had been confirmed. Though the alarm had not been sprung, the living room was trashed, and my clothing – the French maid outfit – was gone. Someone had come in while we were gone and knew I was with Noah Gideon. I squeezed down the vise of panic in my throat, swallowing hard. It was daylight still. Just human flunkies, looking for something to report back to Aloysius. I was still safe.

  For now.

  We wasted no more time, getting back into the car and driving into the mountains. Noah would not say where we were headed. David was calm, his expression peaceful. He seemed to know exactly what Noah intended, which puzzled me. Where were we going that David knew all about and I did not?

  I must have been a bundle of nerves in the back seat of the car, twitching and constantly moving in my seat. At one point, David reached over and clasped my hand in his, lacing our fingers. His touch soothed my nerves and I held his hand for the rest of the drive.

  Just as the sun was setting, we turned down a long driveway nestled off of a service road in the mountains. It climbed up a ravine, and at the top of the tree-lined ravine perched a small parking lot and a very large, austere white building. I could have sworn it was a hospital done in Corinthian style, but I didn’t see an emergency room, or any cars other than ours.

  “Be right back,” said Noah, and parked the car up front. He got out of the vehicle and headed to the huge double-doors at the front of the building.

  “Where are we?” I asked, the familiar nervousness churning in my gut. What if this was a trap? The Serim were not always good men. They could be self-serving—

  David reached over and brushed a lock of hair from my face. The lines of his aristocratic face were perfect and beautiful in the late afternoon sunlight, and he looked at ease in the casual modern clothing that he’d borrowed from Noah. The look was so at odds with the old-fashioned blonde curls and sideburns he still wore that it made me want to smile, even when I had nothing to smile about. “Be calm, Olivia. I will not let anything happen to you.”

  I looked over at him uncertainly, but the resolve was written on his face. His jaw was set in granite, his expression firm.

  It wasn’t that I was weak, or needed a man to hold my hand. But having someone there, at my side – someone to tell me that it was all right? That I wasn’t alone? That was…nice. I liked it. More than I should have. I gave him a hesitant smile. “You know where we are, then?”

  “There is only one place that a Serim can go to and fall completely off the map,” David said in his smooth, effortlessly calm voice, his silver eyes focused entirely on me. “One place where they can eschew the mortal world and have no fear of it catching up to them. It is the only place I know of where we can be absolutely certain that the walls are warded from both human and vampire alike.”

  “And that would be…”

  “A Serim monastery. Some of our brothers decided long ago that repentance was the best way to return to the grace of God, and they spend their days in prayer and solitude.”

  “A monastery?” I shook my head. This sounded like an awful idea. “How is a house full of Serim monks going to keep me safe at night?”

  “They are not monks. They just choose to live as monks do,” David said with a smile at me. “And there are others that dwell in the monastery that are not Serim,” he told me, his gaze warm. “They will be awake at night and will watch over you if it is needed, but I do not think it will be. Every monastery is built with powerful wards that make it impossible for a vampire to find the place. You will be safe here. I would never take you someplace you are not safe.”

  The possessive heat in his voice made my heart thump. “David,” I said, resisting the urge to blush. I felt like a schoolgirl again in his presence – no, like the young, relatively innocent demimondaine I had been back in 1889. Trained in the arts of the bedroom but sheltered at everything else. “You are not familiar with this time. Many, many things change in a hundred years—“

  “Sweet Olivia,” he said softly, leaning in toward me. His hand brushed my cheek, caressing my jaw, his gaze on my face. He leaned in, as if unable to resist the pull of my body. “I have learned over my very long, sometimes painfully boring life that not that much changes in a hundred years.”

  “And are you bored now?” I couldn’t resist asking.

  He leaned so close that his mouth was almost on mine, and I felt a flush of heat shimmer through my body. “I am never bored in your presence, Olivia.”

  And he leaned in and kissed me. A gentle kiss, his mouth coaxing mine open. After a moment, I responded, rewarded with the stroke of his tongue against mine. A delicious heat began to unfurl in my body—

  Someone knocked on the car window, interrupting us. We broke apart, and I looked up to see Noah standing outside the car, his face grim.

  “Will they let us stay?” David asked.

  “Yes, and no,” Noah said. His mouth was a tight line of anger. “Come. They want to see you and Olivia.”

  Chapter Four

  The doors of the monastery opened slowly, and a figure bowed.

  I looked into the face of the man at the door as he straightened. To my surprise, he was young – no more than fifteen years of age. His face was youthful and soft, but he easily topped seven feet and his shoulders were a broad, sharp triangle that had not yet filled out with muscle. He’d be a massive man once he grew into his size. He wore a long, plain white robe like a penitent, and his light brown ponytail was long enough to make me wonder if it had ever been cut. His expression was tranquil as he shut the door behind us, then gestured that we should follow him in.

  The corridor was long and freezing cold. If this place had central heat, they weren’t saving it for the visitors. Then again, maybe they didn’t get many visitors. I watched the bare feet of our guide pad down the cold marble hallway and rubbed my arms, giving an involuntary shiver. Something about this creeped me out. It shouldn’t have – the ceilings were vaulted and windows covered the walls, filling the place with light. But there were no furnishings – just bare empty halls. The entire place felt…cold. Barren. Lifeless.

  The boy showed us in to a large audience chamber, then bowed and exited, his pale eyes flashing. A man sat across from us, seated at a plain wooden table with an equally plain chair. It was the only furniture I had seen in the building so far. There were no other ornamentations in this room – no paintings, no rug in front of the large hearth that took up one wall. Nothing except sunlight and barren rooms.

  The man was clearly a Serim. He wore the same simple cloth robe that the younger man had worn, without a bit of ornamentation. His hair was dark and pulled into a short queue at the base of his neck. His skin was tanned a deep olive, his silver eyes bright in his face. His features were perfectly sculpted, and he looked like an archangel of old.

  Probably because he was, I
told myself.

  He gave our party a welcoming smile that struck me as insincere. He gestured at the floor. “Sit.”

  My hackles arose at the sound of his voice. This was a man used to giving orders. I stared at him, the coldly silver eyes. This was giving me a bad, bad feeling.

  David didn’t move, just frowned at the man. I looked over at Noah and noticed he was looking at me expectantly. Well, damn. The order to sit on the floor was only for me. I could guess why – this man wanted to debase me for what I was.

  As if it were somehow my fault that I was a succubus.

  I sat, though I wasn’t pleased about it. Everything in me was protesting against this set-up. Serim were just as manipulative as vampires. They just pretended to be nice while controlling your life. At least vampires didn’t pretend.

  David put a hand on my head, smoothing the short hair of my wig. I didn’t need comfort, and I nearly bit out a nasty response until I saw the expression of the Serim who sat across from us. He’d noted David’s possessive gesture and I could see the wheels turning behind his eyes as he calculated our relationship.

  The room was silent for a long, uncomfortable moment. Then, the man steepled his fingers and gave a brief nod to both Noah and David. “Greetings, brothers. It has been many, many years since I have seen either of you. I go by the name of Julian in this age.” He inclined his head. “I am pleased that you both have decided to visit.”

  “This is a visit of business, not pleasure,” Noah said.

  “I see that.” Julian’s cold gaze dropped back to me. “You do have a succubus with you after all. What brings you to our monastery?”

  His voice was smooth, even, and low. But his silver gaze watched me with an avarice that made my skin crawl. I wanted to leave right then and there, go back down the mountain and take my chances with Aloysius. At least he was the devil I knew. I had a sneaking suspicion that there would be a catch for our stay here in the monastery, and I was afraid of what it might be. Whore to vampires or whore to Serim? They were both equally awful. My hands clenched in my lap.

  David’s hand stroked over my wig again, as if trying to calm me. “We wish sanctuary for a few days for our small party,” he said, his crisp, strong voice cutting through the jumble of my thoughts. “We can pay you for room and board and your protection.”

  Julian smiled. “David. You were once one of our brothers, many, many centuries ago. You know that we do not accept money.”

  My gut clenched, a sick feeling. They were looking for a service, then…

  “Then what is your price?” David’s voice remained calm. His hand continued to stroke the fake blonde hair perched atop my head. “Name it. Olivia is being hunted by her vampire master and I have sworn to protect her.”

  The Serim’s gaze went to David, then back to me. “She is your creature, then? That is very good news. We will require…a favor. A deal.” A cold smile touched his mouth. “It is not often that a succubus appears on our doorstep, but they have their uses.”

  “No,” I said in a low voice. My hands clenched, my fingernails digging into my palms. “Absolutely not.”

  “We are not interested in deals,” David said.

  The Serim ignored me, his gaze moving to David. “I was under the impression that you wished our assistance? You know as well as I do, David, that choosing the monastery does not come without its price. All must give up something to escape behind its doors and hide away from the outside world. It does not matter if you wish to stay here only temporarily, or permanently. You can pay the price, or you can turn around and leave. Those that stay in the monastery all give their dues.”

  David’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t disagree with the man. I looked over at Noah, and his face was equally tight. He wouldn’t look at me. A sick feeling began to wash through my body. A succubus had her uses, Julian had said.

  I’d just bet. Servicing all the Serim on a monthly basis? Use me as a lure for vampires? Or…worse? What if they had worse in mind? I got to my feet. I’d turn around and walk out right now, then. Whatever protection they could offer me? Wasn’t worth it.

  The Serim folded his hands, waiting. Watching.

  “We’re not paying your price,” I said. “Let’s go, David.”

  He looked at me, then back at the Serim. “Wait, Olivia.”

  Hot rage splashed through my body. Wait? Did he just command me to wait? “You cannot tell me that you are considering wagering me in order to stay here?” I said furiously. “I won’t be a party to it.”

  David’s clear gaze met mine, his jaw firm. “You are not safe on the outside. I know you’re safe in here.”

  “Safe from vampires,” I spit at him. “Not safe from anything else.”

  “Olivia,” he began again.

  “No,” I said furiously. Panic shot through my body, hard and fast. My hands curled into fists and I tested the command he’d given me, but it didn’t stop me from marching toward the door, and I did so. “You can stay here, but I’ll take my chances with the raping vampires rather than the raping Serim—”

  “Olivia, stop right there.”

  I froze in my tracks, two steps from the open door. The teenage boy stood there, waiting, his mouth slightly open with surprise as he stared at me, helpless and stuck in place.

  Rage washed over me. David was betraying me. I knew it. I knew it. He was too good to be true. He was just like the others. I’d been a fool to go to him for help.

  “Olivia,” David began. He reached for me.

  I lashed out, backhanding him. The snap of my hand on his jaw was deafening in the room. I snarled again, reaching for him, desperate. My feet were anchored to the ground because of his command, but my arms were free, and I reached for him, clawing. I’d kick and scream the entire way down if I had to. “You will not fucking use me! No one gets to use me!”

  “Olivia!” David said sharply. “You are hurting yourself. Stop it.”

  The look on his face was as cold as I felt. I snapped back into place, unable to even protest anymore. My eyes glittered with tears of fury but I blinked them away, nostrils flaring with rage.

  He stared at me, and I didn’t know what he was thinking.

  “It’s very good that we have her master here,” Julian said in an emotionless voice. “Clearly she needs to be kept under control.”

  The rage burned through me again, and I closed my eyes, willing myself to breathe calmly. Wait for the chance to strike. Then I’d kill that goddamn asshole. David too, for betraying me like this. My wild thoughts spun faster and faster, full of fury and rage and fear.

  David’s voice cut through the whirl of my thoughts. “Olivia. Listen to me.”

  My ears strained at the command and I bit my knuckle hard, wanting to scream and unable to.

  “You will follow the boy to our room,” David said, his voice soft, the command clenching through my body. “You will sit there and wait for me. Quietly. You will not move until I arrive, and you will not hurt yourself. Understand?”

  It didn’t matter if I understood. My body locked into the command and my heart shuddered to ice inside my breast. Forced against my will, I followed the boy out into the hall and down another corridor. Rage and anger blinded me. I could see nothing beyond my tears of betrayal.

  David was using me like I was nothing. Like I had no say in the matter. Whatever the Serim wanted, he’d force me to do in some misguided attempt to save me. I knew what they wanted. It was a monastery full of creatures that needed to have sex once a month to live. I wasn’t dumb. I was a succubus – I could fulfill their needs. I’d heard darker stories, too. Of succubi raped by angels and forced to bear their children. I stared at the back of the boy in front of me, but I could ask him nothing. David’s command wouldn’t permit that.

  I’d trusted him, and he was using me. The thought hurt worse than any razorblade.

  Seething with rage and betrayal, I almost didn’t notice that we arrived at a large room. The boy opened the door and stepped asid
e, waiting for me to enter, and my compelled body had no choice. I stalked forward on wobbly legs and saw that the room was empty. Two twin beds, a large empty floor, and a table and chair off to one side. A large window let the sunlight wash in. Stiffly I turned and, just like I’d been commanded, sat and waited in silence.

  Waited for the master who had betrayed me to come back.

  You will not move until I arrive, he’d commanded.

  So I waited, and plotted. Thinking of a way to escape the new man I’d put myself in the control of. I felt shattered, made of broken glass. I’d let my guard down. Allowed myself to like David. To actually…care for him. To feel the same flutter of adoration that I’d felt 120 years ago when I’d first met him. Allowed myself to think that maybe I could find someone to spend my Afterlife with after all.

  Now I recognized his real face, and it sickened me with disappointment.

  Time passed. My betrayal didn’t abate as the minutes ticked by – it only grew stronger, the pit of acid burning in my stomach flaring with new hatred every few minutes. David had misled me. He’d led me to believe that I was safe with him, when I was no more than an asset with legs to be used for his own benefits. I clenched my fists, my fingernails digging into my palms.

  Why had I thought it would be different with David? I had trusted him, and his betrayal hurt worse than anything Aloysius had ever done to me.

  The door opened. I closed my eyes, sucking in a deep breath and waiting for the next stage. If it was torture, I could live through it. Rape, I could live through it. I could live through anything.

  I only had to endure.

  The door shut. I waited. Footsteps crossed the floor, heading toward me. I waited, muscles coiling as I tensed.

  Warm fingers brushed my cheek. “Olivia?” David’s voice was a husky question. “Are you all right?”

  I opened my eyes and flung myself at him, now free of his awful commands. I attacked, knocking him to the ground. Either I’d surprised him or he was a terrible fighter, but within moments I was straddling David’s body and he stared up at me in surprise. I struck him with one hand across the face, then the other, my blows precise.