Slave To Her Desires

by Myles, Jill

  Maybe they were right. Maybe I was being selfish in wanting him to stay with me after this was done. Imagining that maybe we could start over again once Aloysius was taken care of.

  That was, of course, assuming that David and I could kill Aloysius. A chill ran up my arms. What if…what if that didn’t happen? What if my prince didn’t save me from the wicked beast? What if the wicked beast killed my prince, and it was my fault?

  Not every fairy tale had a happy ending, and my life had certainly not been a fairy tale. I pushed away from the table. “Thank you, Gregory, but I am not hungry after all.”

  He muttered a response but I didn’t hear him – I fled the kitchen, running back to the room I shared with David. Down the long, dark hall – another reminder that I wasn’t part of the world that existed here. I wasn’t welcome. No one wanted a succubus around. No one cared if I was lost or alone, or frightened of the dark. I didn’t matter.

  I slid back into our room, shutting the door behind me. Moonlight streamed in through the large windows, illuminating David’s form in the bed. He was so beautiful while he slept – the tension I saw in his face melting away and leaving only the purity of his soul. I knelt on the floor next to him, my face level with his as I absorbed his features. He was such a good man.

  I hadn’t realized how much strain he was under until I had looked at him just now. The lines of worry that creased his brow were gone, and I knew that I had put them there. That he was worried about me. Was it because he felt responsible for me, or simply because I had ties to Aloysius and now he had vowed to kill him?

  His vow had no time limit, of course. He could leave Aloysius alive for another hundred years if he so chose. It didn’t matter. David had promised to kill him someday, but that someday could be a long ways away. It had everything – and nothing – to do with my fate.

  I brushed a lock of hair from his smooth forehead. He was a good man. A good man stuck in an unfamiliar time, surrounded by unfamiliar things, stuck with a broken woman who he felt obligated to help but had never wanted. After all, it hadn’t been David’s idea to turn me into a succubus – I knew that much.

  Perhaps this was all very selfish of me. I’d spent so long thinking only of myself that I couldn’t tell if I was being selfish or not – my meter was broken. I only knew that I wanted to crawl back into this bed and stay at David’s side forever. To enfold myself in his arms and let the world outside of them cease to exist.

  But the world didn’t work that way. Tears brimming in my eyes, I leaned in and brushed my lips against his. His mouth was slack against my own – it was still many hours before daylight. Before David would awaken from his slumber. I got up, restless, and began to pace.

  I cared for David. For a long, long time I hadn’t wanted anyone – or anything permanent in my life. But now I wanted David. I wanted to be there when he woke up in the morning, watch the smile on his face, see the sunlight on his tousled curls. I wanted to show him all the wonderful things that the new modern age could bring, and I wanted him to go to sleep every night holding me.

  It was bad for me to want things, though. Aloysius would just take them away again. It was selfish for me to stay at his side and knowingly put him in danger. Selfish especially given that the Serim were offering him a safe place here with them, peaceful and quiet and isolated from the world. A place where he belonged.

  Didn’t everyone want that?

  Would he be happier with them? Without me? Why wouldn’t he? I looked down at his unlined brow again. I was nothing but a burden, and a burden that he’d never chosen. If things had played out between us, he would have tired of me being his mistress after a few years, paid me off with a pretty necklace or two – maybe a fine house – and then we would have gone our separate ways. He’d never have turned me into an immortal. Never.

  Why was I foolish enough to think that he’d want me around if he didn’t feel obligated? The thought was like a twist in my gut. Of course he wouldn’t. David was honorable and good, but my being here wasn’t of his choosing.

  Torn by my thoughts, it was a few minutes before I noticed a red flash on the far side of the room. At first, I thought I imagined it, but when it happened again, I got up to investigate. There was a small wooden desk in the corner of the room – hand carved by one of the brother Serim here. The red flash came from the single drawer, its light muted. I pulled it open and looked down.

  Aloysius’s cellphone – the one we’d found at the bar - flashed with a tiny red message light.

  He’d decided to contact me. Grown weary of our games. It was time to retrieve his naughty toy and begin the newest round of tortures. I waited for the sick clench in my gut to return, but this time, worry replaced it. If we went after Aloysius, David would be in danger. I looked over at him, so peaceful in his sleep. At ease with the world.

  I picked up the phone, thinking hard. I knew what the message would contain. An address of where he was at. A command for me to obey. Once I listened to it, there would be no going back. No changing my mind. I’d put myself in Aloysius’s keeping if I did so.

  Aloysius was dangerous. Very dangerous. He’d had a hundred twenty years to grow in his twistedness, and David was still fresh from his magical slumber. What if he used David’s ignorance of the modern world against him? David wouldn’t recognize a taser, or handcuffs, or worse. All it would take was David caught unawares before his evening slumber, and then Aloysius would have him.

  Fear shot through me. My mission to kill Aloysius was a danger to David.

  I looked back at David again, so beautiful as he lay sprawled in the bed. His muscles gleamed in the moonlight and I remembered my hands skimming over his skin, exploring his beauty. How it had felt to be in his arms.

  I could keep him safe. I could be unselfish and leave him here. Here at his side, with my angry eyes and my urgent kisses, I made his decisions for him. David was no cruel, heartless creature to abandon me like I’d thought. He’d care for me because it was his duty. He’d try to kill Aloysius to save me, even if it ended his own life.

  But I could act and save him, myself.

  I sat down, clutching the phone close, and lit the candle on the desk. Once it was lit, I began to write a letter to David.

  David,

  It was wrong of me to ask you to help me kill Aloysius. I’ve gone to him and will take care of it on my own. Don’t follow me.

  Olivia

  I frowned at the paper, then balled it up and tossed it into wastebasket, starting over again. That wouldn’t stop David from racing after me. He’d think I’d been coerced, and certainly set out to rescue me. That wasn’t what I wanted. I started again.

  David,

  I’ve spoken with Aloysius. It was a misunderstanding. He’s promised not to hurt me, and I’ve gone back to him. He misses me, and I…well, I have feelings for him. Please understand, and don’t follow me. Stay at the monastery. I’ll come and see you again soon.

  Olivia

  I stared at the note. Obvious lies. Feelings for Aloysius? I had feelings all right, but they weren’t pleasant ones. The idea of leaving David a note still felt foolish, but maybe I could buy David some time, if he thought I would be returning. Especially if he thought Aloysius wouldn’t hurt me. I could convince Aloysius to leave the city before then, and David would be safe.

  I liked the thought of David being safe, even as I trembled at the thought of putting myself in Aloysius’s clutches again. Perhaps I could defuse his anger somehow. Make it so my punishments were…less severe.

  Who was I kidding? Aloysius would be vicious, but I knew him. I knew how he’d react. I could predict him, control what I wanted to protect from him.

  And I wanted to protect David from Aloysius’s evil. I crumpled the note and tossed it into the garbage. With a small, resigned sigh, I looked back at David’s sleeping form, then flicked the phone open and hit the voicemail button.

  “You have one message,” the computerized voice said, and I hit play.


  “Olivia,” Aloysius’s voice called softly. “Come home.”

  The compulsion gripped me, and the loathing swept through my body. My empty stomach churned, sick with hate and dread. But even as my muscles locked to obey, I sat, frozen. I didn’t know where ‘home’ was.

  “Come home,” he said again, and the compulsion blasted through me again. “I grow tired of our games. I’ve found a new place to live, you see, but I’m missing my favorite little pet to make this house truly a home.” His voice was soft and cajoling. “Write this down. One Summer Drive, in New City. Take the turn off the side road and you’ll find me there. Come tonight. Leave now. I want to drink from you before I sleep.”

  My heart pounded as the phone clicked off, and I wrote feverishly, scratching the words into a fresh piece of paper. One Summer Drive, New City. Turn off the side road.

  I got up, dressed quickly, and exited the room. As I walked out, I opened the closet door and grabbed the bag of implements that David and I kept at the ready. The bag was full of crosses and holy water, and a stake. I snagged it just before my feet compelled me out the door, stole Noah’s keys from the hook by the door of the monastery, and then made my way to the parking lot.

  Come home, he’d said.

  I was helpless to do anything but obey. But this time, I told myself as I tucked a vial of holy water into my bra, I knew what I was getting into.

  Chapter Five

  Two men escorted me down the hall, their hands tight on my long sleeves. One held a knife to my throat in case I tried anything else, but I knew better. Someone cutting my throat would only be a pain in the ass, and was something I didn’t care to experience again.

  Stupid, stupid, I told myself.

  I’d managed to drive to Aloysius’s new address, and had even managed to sneak around the building and knock his guards out with a quick tap to the forehead. Eight men now lay sprawled on the lawn, sleeping soundly.

  What I hadn’t counted on? Tripping an alarm when I tried to go through one of the windows rather than the front door. Stupid, I told myself again as the men’s hands clenched harder on my arms and they dragged me forward. The alarm was new. I wouldn’t make such a mistake again.

  Provided I had the chance, of course.

  They dumped me in a large room, letting me sprawl in a heap on the wooden floors. My limbs still twitched from the aftershocks of the tasering I’d been given. The room was filled with people, laughing and talking in hushed voices, and I could smell alcohol. A party, then. I sat up, but a hand at the small of my back pushed me forward, knocking me to the ground again.

  The crowd parted, and as they did, I caught sight of him across the room. My old master, Aloysius.

  He looked like hell. Though his clothes were ridiculously opulent and heavy despite the late springtime air, they were wrinkled despite their finery. His skin was sickly pale and his black hair lay in tangles around his face, as if he no longer cared to groom himself. The vampire’s eyes were red, signifying his hunger, and so bloodshot that they looked like pools of blood in his face.

  My shock at his appearance must have shown. In all the years I had known him, Aloysius had always been meticulously groomed…but then again, it had been my job to take care of his clothing and appearance. Had he let himself go while I was gone because he missed me?

  Unease clenched in my gut.

  The vampire smiled at the sight of me, displaying his fangs. “Welcome home, my pet. What brings you here?”

  “I decided to kill you once and for all,” I said in a bored voice, hiding my fear and frustration. Those would only be used against me. “Looks like I failed.”

  “Indeed you did,” he said with a leer, then patted his knee. “Come. Crawl toward your master, Olivia, and show him how much you missed him.”

  My muscles locked and I fell to the floor. I lay on my stomach a moment before starting to crawl forward, helpless to obey. Anger and loathing burned in my stomach as I slid along the floor, past the bare feet of the onlookers. I kept that anger and loathing close to me. It would fuel me through what was to come. Eventually, I arrived to Aloysius’s feet and stopped.

  “Sit up,” he said. “I want to take a look at you.”

  I sat up like a mannequin, my body stiff. My eyes met his and I suppressed a mental shiver. His expression was cold, pitiless. Hateful.

  He examined me for a long minute, then tilted his head as my gaze met his. “Your eyes.”

  I closed them immediately, not wanting to give anything away.

  “Open them,” he barked, and my eyes snapped open again. “They’re silver,” he said accusingly. “No wonder you didn’t come crawling back to me several days ago. I knew something was up.” His cold sneer made my heart pound. “So you found David after all this time, did you?”

  I said nothing, even though I knew it was futile. He’d just force me to answer.

  His sneer withered, turning into a snarl. “Where is he? Where have they hidden him? Answer me!”

  “He’s in a monastery with the Serim,” I said. “It’s warded against others. No one can find it but another Serim. You can’t get to him.”

  He reached for my hair and before I could jerk away, knotted his fist in my hair and dragged me forward. I stifled the cry of pain that arose in my throat, knowing that it would bring him far too much pleasure. “Well, my little whore,” he said, his mouth pressing close to my face – so close that his spittle flecked my cheek. “If you’ve just crawled from his bed, I suspect he’ll be showing up here sooner rather than later.”

  “He won’t,” I said quickly, taking a small pleasure in being able to thwart Aloysius in this. “I didn’t tell him where I went. I left in the middle of the night and took the phone with me. He’ll never know where I am.”

  His fingernails dug into my scalp, and I winced at the needle-sharpness, felt the blood trickling down my scalp as his razor-sharp fingernails cut my skin. “You little bitch. You did that on purpose, didn’t you? You think you can control me?”

  “No,” I said truthfully, avoiding his gaze. “But I can protect David from your perversity. And I will.”

  He shoved my head against the arm of his throne-like chair, cracking my forehead against the wood. Pain shattered through my skull and the world spun in a circle of red and black. The skin on my forehead had split and throbbed with pain, gushing blood down my face. I didn’t lose consciousness – I couldn’t, but I felt a curious sort of dread even as I wiped the blood off my face. I knew it would make him hungry, and I didn’t want to feed him.

  His hand grasped my hair again, raking the blood-spattered tangles away from my face. “Look at me, Olivia.”

  I grudgingly turned my gaze to him, hating this. Hating him. Hating everything. This was what it had been like being his slave. Nothing that I did was of my own volition – all my movements were entirely at his disposal, and I loathed it – and him. And myself for not being able to resist.

  He ran a finger along my cheek, down the blood that ran down my face, and then put the fingertip in his mouth. “So sweet. I always forget how sweet my little succubus tastes.” He looked at me in an almost tender way, dragging his hand through my hair again. “Now, Olivia, I do think David will come after you. He’s a good man, remember? You may have known him for a short time, but I have known him for millennia.”

  I bit my lip. I prayed it wasn’t true.

  “But until he arrives, we can have a little fun, can’t we?” He tilted his head and gave me a mocking smile. “Beg me to drink from you. Beg me to take your throat.”

  Hatred burned in my stomach. I clenched my hands with furious, helpless anger. He knew what to do to push me – to break me. To make me realize I had no will but his own. The words came automatically out of my mouth, even as I hated myself with every fiber of my being for not being able to resist. “Please, master,” I gritted, desperation welling inside me. “Take my throat.”

  “Beg me again,” he said. “I do so like hearing you beg.”

&
nbsp; He made me beg for a long time, knowing how much I hated it. Made me kiss his feet and his hands in supplication, and then when he tired of seeing my stiff responses, pulled me into his lap and tore at my throat. Aloysius had never been a clean blood-drinker – he liked to make huge, nasty wounds with his teeth and tonight was no exception. After all, he didn’t have to worry about hurting me.

  I ignored the pain, going to a different place in my head. Thinking of lying in bed with David, our limbs tangled together, watching the sun rise, knowing that I would have another day of sunlight and his wonderful presence at my side.

  I thought of that even after Aloysius pushed me off his lap. “I’m tired,” he announced. “Mark her up. I want to see her bloody when night falls again.”

  And just like that, he passed me to his minions to whip.

  * * *

  The whip hissed against my skin for the hundredth time that long, unending day. The windows were covered, so I had no idea what time it was, but that didn’t matter anymore. I was stuck. I’d willingly given myself to hell to protect David. And how stupid was I? I’d failed miserably, all because I’d tried to go through a damn window instead of the front door.

  But…I’d do it again to save him.

  I thought of David, of the last night that we’d spent together, curled in each other’s arms, our faces pressed so close in the bed that his breath mingled with mine.

  “If you could go anywhere, where would you like to go?” he’d asked me.

  I’d shrugged, unsure what to say. I didn’t know what to say. No one asked me where I wanted to go – what I wanted to do. I’d never given it much thought.

  His smile was like warmth on my skin as he brushed a lock of hair out of my eyes. “There must be someplace you would like to go,” he’d said. “Rome? Paris?”

  I’d been to both. Hated them both because I’d spent it at Aloysius’s side. “I don’t know,” I’d told him. Anywhere you go, I’d wanted to say. But I didn’t. So I said nothing.