Slave To Her Desires

by Myles, Jill

  I soon found out. David moved close to me again and his scent enveloped me, and I could feel the pulse of his heart the closer he stood to me. The anxiety ebbed away and I realized it was connected to my succubus tether. The bond that tied me to the well-being of my masters had just been neatly cut in half, with only one master remaining. A magical form of self-preservation was kicking in, and the presence of David was a soothing balm. If he left the room, I felt that twinge of anxiety all over again.

  This was simply part of the curse that I’d have to get used to. I could live with it. A bit of anxiety was far preferable to living in fear, eating razorblades and fucking a vampire that I loathed.

  And if I’d somehow lost any hope of David’s love, I could get past the pain of that too. I ignored the grief that I felt at the thought. I’d told him. Told him what an angry, bitter, broken creature I was. It wasn’t my fault if he hadn’t believed it. He’d look to me to see if I had an ounce of compassion in my soul, but I had none.

  That wasn’t my fault. That was Aloysius’s doing.

  Wasn’t it?

  “What do you want to do now, Olivia?” David said to me.

  “We go home. Go our separate ways,” I said in a listless tone. “You go back to the monastery. Everyone’s happy.”

  I felt anything but happy.

  Chapter Six

  We returned to Noah’s apartment in silence. Despite the events of the evening, no one felt like talking. No sooner did we cross the threshold than the enormity of the day sunk in and I began to tremble – a body-deep shiver that I couldn’t seem to shake.

  “She’s in shock,” Noah said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and moving forward to the sofa. “Get her a drink of water from the kitchen, David. I’ll help her sit down.”

  I collapsed on the couch with Noah’s help, unable to process the thought. David’s heartbeat faded as he left the room, leaving behind only the anxiety. I focused my thoughts, trying to stop trembling. Aloysius would never bother me again. Ever. One hundred and twenty years of burning hatred, all used up and gone. I had accomplished my goal, and I was boneless without it to support my spine.

  But as soon as I sat down on the couch, Noah gave my shoulder a brotherly pat. “You’ll get used to it.”

  I looked up at him in surprise. “Used to what?”

  “The heartbeat. Hearing David’s vitals. My succubus friend – her name is Delilah. She told me that losing one of your masters puts the connection with the other on overload. And that you get used to it. It makes the bond more intimate, over time.” Noah’s face was kind as he looked down on me. “Or so I am told.”

  “And the anxiety?” I said. “Does it fade too?”

  He shrugged. “I’m not aware of any anxiety.”

  No anxiety? Then why did I feel like my chest was being crushed every time David left the room? Even now, I felt the edges of panic.

  David returned to the room, his attention focused completely on me. He handed me a glass of water. “Drink this.” He sat next to me, stroking my cheek as I drank, and I realized why I felt the anxiety.

  He was going to leave me again, and I didn’t want him to. The thought made me shiver all over again. He hated me for insisting that he destroy Aloysius, and now that he was gone, there was nothing tying us together any longer. He’d be welcomed back to the monastery with open arms, and I’d…well, I’d try to find a new man to sate my Itch.

  The thought made me a little sick to my stomach.

  Noah got up from the couch and picked up a few pieces of a broken vase. “I’ll have to call the maid service to come in early tomorrow and get this place cleaned up.”

  “I’ll do it,” I said in a soft voice. “I need something to occupy my mind tonight, after you two go to sleep.”

  “Which is my cue to leave,” Noah said, giving my shoulder one last squeeze and heading to his room.

  That left me alone with David. I kept gulping the water because I didn’t know what else to say.

  “Come,” he said, standing up. “Let’s check out your back.”

  The command had to be obeyed. I stood and followed him into the bedroom. Once there, I stood awkwardly, uncertain. Not something that happened often in my long life.

  “Do you need help?” David said, ever solicitous.

  “I’m fine,” I said, then proved it wrong by wincing when I reached for the shirt. The blood was drying and the scraps of it were sticking to my wounds.

  “Stop Olivia,” he said in a gentle voice. “Let me help you.” With gentle hands, he helped me remove the shredded shirt, and the cold air bit into the wounds of my back. They were already closing over – succubi heal fast – but I would need a few days (or several rounds of sex) in order to heal entirely.

  I remained stock-still as he got a damp cloth and wet it as he went over my back, slowly removing the remnants of the shirt stuck to the bloody mess of my back. It was the least of my concerns, but if he wanted to fuss over me, I was going to let him. It might be the last chance I’d have with him.

  Heat flared at the thought, and I fought the desire that built inside my body. The Itch was insinuating itself, reminding me that I needed sex within the next short while to facilitate the healing of my wounded body. Already the Itch crawled through my skin, making my pulse slow and beat in a sultry reminder that I could never escape the desire that ruled me.

  But with David…I didn’t think about escaping it. I just wanted him to touch me.

  At last my shirt was freed from my body, and I let it slither to the floor. David unhooked my bra and I gave a small, gasping sigh of relief as my torso was exposed to the air.

  “Lay on the bed, Olivia. On your stomach. I’m going to ask Noah for some salve.”

  I did as he commanded. For some reason, David’s orders didn’t bother me too much. Sure, I was helpless to resist, but there was no bitter taste in my mouth at his commands. I knew why he commanded me. He was concerned for me. Perhaps someday he’d have even cared for me, if I hadn’t ruined it all. My fingers dug into the blankets and I pressed my cheek into them, wishing they would swallow me whole.

  David returned a few moments later, and he pulled off my jeans as I lay, stomach down, on the bed. Now I wore nothing but a brief scrap of panties, and the Itch flared through my body even harder. I bit my lip to stifle a moan when he got onto the bed and straddled my hips, knowing it wasn’t sexual. I didn’t want to turn it into something sexual – I wanted David to want me for me, not because he felt like I was in need.

  I needed him to want Olivia the woman, not feel responsible for Olivia the obligation. And that was just all kinds of fucked up, wasn’t it?

  Icy cold hands touched my burning skin and I hissed, tensing as pain flared through my shoulders. His fingers were gentle despite my wounds, and I soon relaxed again, biting my lip. David’s steady heartbeat, his nearness, his hands on my back – it soothed away the anxiety of the pain, leaving me in a dull trance of contentment. Nothing existed but David and his touch.

  After a moment, he spoke. “I don’t understand you, Olivia.”

  Like a soap-bubble, my contentment vanished, and I twisted handfuls of the blankets in my hands. Pain lanced through my body, but it had nothing to do with my wounds and everything to do with my heart. “I’m sorry,” was all I said. What could I say? His hand stroked the cream over my shoulder and down my arm, and I looked at his strong hands, kneading my bare flesh, and felt the Itch pound through me again. “I see your promise is gone from your arm,” I said, noting the bare arm, devoid of any Serim promise-marking. “You must be relieved.”

  “Don’t make me command you not to change the subject.”

  “You just did.” I couldn’t help but tease him.

  “Olivia…why did you run away and leave no instructions as to where you went? The plan was for us to stick together. For me to take down Aloysius so he wouldn’t hurt you.”

  I swallowed hard. “Plans change.”

  “Tell me the truth,” he sa
id in a low voice, and then added a “Please” to take the sting out of the command.

  “I wanted to protect you,” I said softly. “Keep you safe.”

  “Olivia,” he said, and his gentle hands pulled me up from the bed. He pulled me to a standing position, then took my by the elbows and gently turned me to face him, ever careful of my back. David’s eyes were shining with regret as he looked at me. He brushed a lock of hair from my face. “It’s my job to keep you safe.”

  “But I forced you to destroy your brother.” I pointed out. “You offered to let me take the charitable way out, but I can’t. I told you – I’m an evil, twisted creature and I can’t be the old, soft Olivia you knew. I’m just the new Olivia. The one that had her life torn apart by a vampire.”

  And now you hate me, I thought.

  “Olivia,” he said, then stopped, gathering his thoughts. He shook his head, his fingers brushing my cheek as if he couldn’t help that he wanted to touch me. “I want to apologize to you.”

  “Apologize to me?” I stared at him, uncomprehending. “Why?”

  “Aloysius tortured you for years and you came to me for help. You saved yourself by poisoning him with holy water. All you needed from me was someone to deliver the final blow, and yet when it came time to do that…I hesitated.” He gave me such a sad, sad look. “It is hard for me to reconcile his betrayal – it is still fresh in my mind. To me, he is still the man I once knew, sad and lost but not evil. I did not see the evil that you saw. And I should have trusted you. I shouldn’t have hesitated.”

  “You were his brother,” I said softly. “I understand. You knew him for eternity. I’m just some girl that strolled in and got all fucked up along the way.”

  He shook his head at my words. “Who you are – what you are – you act as if it is something wrong. Something awful.” His smile was gentle as his fingers brushed my cheek. “You are not awful in my eyes. You are strong and beautiful and independent. I remember the old Olivia, and I liked her, but I care deeply for the new one and I want to see her happy.”

  Nice words, but ultimately meaningless. I gave him a brittle smile. “And now we’ll go on our separate ways, right? Aloysius is gone, the damsel in distress is saved, and you’re free again. They’ll be happy to have you back at the monastery.”

  Pain lanced through my body at the thought, and grief made me clench my hands, fingernails digging into my flesh. I’d miss him terribly.

  He shook his head. “I am not going back to the monastery.”

  I met his gaze again, confused. “I don’t understand. You belong there.”

  “Says who? Master Julian?” His thumb grazed my full lower lip, his gaze moving there. “When I fell, I did not agree to hide away from the world. I fell because human life was vital and wondrous and that love was what drove humans to such great heights. That has not changed.” He smiled at me, his face so beautiful that it made my body ache. “And I have responsibilities here.”

  Horror washed over me, and I slapped his hand away. “I don’t want to be your responsibility, David.”

  I want you to love me.

  “So untrusting,” he said with a small grin. “But actually, I was referring to Noah. He is going away for a time and needs help handling his business.”

  “His business?” My brow wrinkled as I tried to process that. “You don’t know anything about day-trading. It’s going to be a bit of a jump for you to run a multi-million dollar corporation—”

  “Not that part of his business,” David said. “He acts as a point of contact for several immortals in this area and needs someone to take up the reins.”

  “Oh,” I said. “Is he all right?” Noah had been rather silent and taciturn through our whole ordeal, but he seemed like a nice man. I hadn’t realized something was wrong.

  “Just immortal troubles,” David said. “Something about a friend in need. He didn’t share it, but I saw…” David frowned, thinking. “When we went to rescue you, his shirt tore open and…I saw him covered in angelic vows. He’s made deals, promises for tasks to be completed. Not just one or two, but dozens. He’s gotten himself into some kind of trouble, but…” He shook his head. “Noah won’t let me help him. He refuses my offers of assistance on that front, so I will help him with his business.”

  “I see,” I said. He didn’t need me. He was just fine without me. I pulled my hand from his.

  “I don’t think you do,” David said softly, and caught my hand in his. “Else, why would you look so sad?”

  How to answer that? How could I tell him that I was being irrational and wanted him to declare love for me? I couldn’t, so I said nothing.

  He touched my cheek, turning my face to his, and his gaze locked on my blue eyes. His silver ones immediately melted to blue, and I felt the surge of desire when it hit his body as well as mine. He gripped my face, pulling me closer and closer, and I resisted the urge to melt against him.

  “Olivia…I’m not saying this right, am I?” His breath rasped close, his lips a bare inch from my own. His gaze focused on my face, devouring me with his eyes. “I could sit here and tell you all day about how I am coping just fine, but that’s the wrong thing to say, isn’t it? Because I feel like you want to leave, and I want to beg you to stay, and I don’t know how.”

  I licked my dry lips, heart fluttering. “You could start with a ‘please’.”

  “Please don’t leave me, Olivia,” David whispered huskily against my mouth. His lips dipped against mine, tasting me. His tongue stroked lightly between my lips, a tease of a caress. “I need you at my side.”

  It was what I wanted, and yet… “David, I don’t know. What if I keep pushing and pushing and showing you the awful side of me until you find me just as dark and terrible as Aloysius?”

  “Why would I ever think that?” His mouth brushed against mine, softly. Not pushing, just promising. “I have seen you at your most desperate, Olivia. You were strong and resolute. You stood up to him. And you did all of it to save me. How could I possibly hate that in you?” He kissed the tip of my nose. “What can I do to convince you?”

  Tears pricked my eyes. “I’m not the same girl you knew from before. I’m a broken, foul creature. I don’t think I know how to trust – or to love – anymore.”

  He kissed me, ever so gently. “Then let me show you, Olivia. We’ll figure it out together.”

  I gave a sharp, jerky nod, sucking in a breath. “I…all right.”

  His hand slid to my hips. “Your eyes are blue.”

  “I can’t help it,” I said, feeling the need to explain my nature. My nipples hardened under his gaze, my small breasts tightening. “I need sex to heal myself, and you’re so close…”

  “Then we must heal you,” he said in a low voice that warmed my insides. His mouth went to my neck, pressing light, ticklish kisses there. “Do you trust me to make love to you without hurting you? Without hurting your back?”

  I nodded at him, my hands going to his shirt and unbuttoning it. “I do.”

  “Then be still,” he said, his hands moving to my waist. “And let me make love to you, Olivia.”

  My body quivered with the command and I ceased moving, my fingers locked in his shirt. His hands went to the waist of my panties and slid them lower on my hips until they fell to the floor. He lifted me into his arms, large hands supporting me as he carefully slid the panties down my hips, then set me back down the bed again and teased them off of my legs. I sat in front of him, nude, my nipples hard points, my legs quivering with need. My sex was slick and wet, and throbbed with want as his beautiful mouth parted and kissed my neck once more. Then he looked over at me.

  “I need you to be very still for this next part, Olivia. Do you trust me?”

  I nodded at him.

  “Put your hands on my head, then,” he said, the words a command. And he sank to his knees in front of me, parting my legs. “Hold on to me.”

  I sucked in a breath as I realized what he was going to do. Would a hundred ye
ars with David be like this? Calm, effortless companionship? Smiles and laughter and discovering the world together? Sex with a man that wanted to please me, and doing so, pleased himself?

  My body quivered at the thought.

  David’s hands moved to my hips and pulled me to the edge of the bed, until I felt his hot breath at the vee of my sex. My fingers clenched in the blonde curls of his hair. “Do you trust me, Olivia?”

  I breathed hard. “Yes, David.”

  “Do you want this? Do you want me? For me? Not because I’m your master?”

  My hips practically bucked off the bed at the thought, but his hands gripped me in place, not allowing me to move. “Yes. Please, David.”

  He moved one of my legs over his shoulder, and then the other, and I nearly fell backward as his mouth descended on my hot, wet sex. Only my hands in his hair kept me from falling backward, and I locked my ankles against his back, anchoring his mouth to my core. His tongue slipped into the heated slit, teasing and running along it until I gave a full body shiver and a small whimpering cry. I felt his tongue flick against my clit, then danced away again. A rush of wetness pulsed through my sex and I bit my lip, moaning in response. His tongue played along the hard bud of my clit, feathering and teasing against it.

  “David,” I said, fingers clenching in his hair. Oh god, I wasn’t going to last long and I wanted this to last forever. But his tongue was moving just perfectly, and I was so turned on, my body needing sex so badly that I wasn’t going to last. “Please. David, I need…”

  He seemed to sense my encroaching orgasm and changed tactics. Instead of the soft, feathery teases he’d been giving me with his tongue, he began to lap hard at my clit. One hand that had been supporting my thighs slid lower, and I felt him thrust a finger into my core just as he nuzzled my sex.

  I shattered instantly. “Oh god, David!” My thighs tightened around his face, my hips jerking as I came hard. He continued to lap at my core, leaving me quivering at the peak for an inordinately long time, and then sending little aftershocks through my body with each lap of his tongue.