Bareback

by D. Jackson Leigh

  “You’re not so tough, big guy,” she told him once she had her temper under control.

  The stallion’s ears relaxed a little. He lowered his head and nudged his feline friend, but Peach only batted at the big nose. He seemed more interested in snuggling down into the hay and returning to his catnap. The Hanoverian shifted his white-stockinged feet and stared at her curiously with large liquid brown eyes that flanked a blaze of white.

  “How’s it going, handsome?” Jessica pulled a paperback book from her back pocket. “This is where we get to know each other better, boy. I hope you like Black Beauty.” She flipped through the opening pages, and settled back. “Chapter one…”

  The horse’s ears flicked back and forth as he listened to the melodious inflections of her voice.

  *

  Jamie’s sobs slowed to hiccups as Skyler swabbed her injury and taped a Band-Aid across it. The elbow scrape wasn’t that bad, not enough to cause the fear and pain Skyler had witnessed. Jamie was one of her favorites. She wasn’t aggressive and belligerent, as Skyler had been at that age. But, like Skyler, she was a natural around the horses and quietly private about her life outside Cherokee Falls.

  “Tell me what happened,” Skyler asked. “Did she hit you or just scare you?”

  “She didn’t hit me.” Jamie’s voice hitched. Shame-faced, she looked down at her hands. “I didn’t see her coming, that’s all. It’s no big deal. I’ll just go finish my work.”

  Kids didn’t just fall apart like that from being startled. Giving Jamie’s new bandage a finishing pat, Skyler requested softly, “Jamie, turn around for a second. I want to make sure you didn’t scrape your back when you fell.”

  Terrified eyes glanced toward the door, calculating the distance to escape.

  “Come on, James,” she said, using Jamie’s favorite nickname to coax her. “You know I won’t hurt you.”

  Jamie hesitated, then let Skyler draw her closer. She lifted Jamie’s shirt just enough to expose her back and swore when she saw the old bruises crisscrossing the flesh. Jesus Christ. She should have realized it earlier.

  Jamie shrank away. “I just fell down. It’s nothing.”

  “No, it’s something. Jamie, my teachers thought I was the most accident-prone child around because I always had bruises.” Jamie stared at the floor, unable to meet her eyes. Skyler knew she needed to be gentle, but she struggled with the anger she felt, knowing someone had beaten this child. “When I was ten, my father twisted my arm so hard he broke my wrist. That’s when the social work people stepped in, and I ended up here with Kate’s mom. I know what it feels like to be too embarrassed to tell anyone.”

  “Please don’t tell anyone.” Jamie’s voice grew plaintive. “Dad isn’t home much. He drives a truck and goes away weeks at a time. Mom gets lonely, and when she starts drinking…I do stuff that makes her mad.”

  Skyler was shocked. “Your mom does this to you? Does your dad know what goes on when he’s not around?”

  “No, Mom and Dad love each other. She’s good when he’s at home. I swear she is.”

  Skyler wanted, instantly, to rescue and protect this child from further harm. But she knew firsthand the pain of a family breaking up. No matter how dysfunctional they were, the loss was a permanent sorrow. She took Jamie’s hand gently.

  “I know what it feels like to blame yourself, like it really could be your fault that an adult is using you for a punching bag. But it’s not.” She moved to the desk, scribbled a number on a small piece of paper, and tucked it in the girl’s pocket. “This is my cell phone number, and I don’t give this number to many people. Promise me that you’ll call me if you ever need help, or even just to talk. You call me any time, day or night. You understand?”

  Jamie nodded and wiped her nose on her sleeve. Skyler offered a box of tissues and a tentative smile crossed Jamie’s face as she took a few. But the smile was fleeting, and she shifted her feet nervously. “My mom’s not really a bad person. It’s just hard for her when Dad’s not around.”

  Skyler’s heart ached at Jamie’s plea on her mother’s behalf. It never failed to amaze her the capacity some children had for forgiveness. Somewhere along the way, she’d lost that herself. “Sure, James. That goes for what I told you about my dad hitting me. This is just between you and me.”

  Jamie looked relieved, as though the sharing of secrets reassured her that Skyler understood. “I better get the rest of my work done.”

  “Stay away from that bay stallion,” Skyler warned sternly.

  “I will.” Jamie paused at the door. “I guess that lady did save me from getting run over by that horse. You really yelled at her.”

  Skyler cocked an eyebrow at the gentle admonishment. “Yeah, I guess I did. I’ll make it right with her. Don’t you worry about it.”

  After the door closed behind Jamie, Skyler sat in her office for a while, contemplating her discovery. She absently rubbed her left wrist as visions of her drunk and angry father surfaced in her mind. She’d worked hard to lock those images away and she didn’t feel like revisiting them now. She considered telling Kate about Jamie’s home situation, but she didn’t want to lose the girl’s trust. Undecided, she left her office and strode down the wide hallway. Ahead of her several kids scrambled up from where they were squatting beside the oak door of Rampage’s stall, and darted out of the barn. The little scamps were supposed to be doing barn chores, but Skyler didn’t yell after them. She could hear a muted voice coming from the stall, and realized they’d been eavesdropping.

  Jessica was reading to Rampage.

  Skyler smiled to herself and turned back to avoid disturbing her, but the stallion’s head jerked up and he snorted a challenge.

  Jessica peered through the iron bars. “Oh, it’s you.” She sounded irritated. “I guess you’ve come to move us to another barn.”

  “You guess wrong.” Skyler looked into the palest blue eyes she’d ever seen. They were more like white clouds swirling in a blue sky. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you,” she said at last. This was harder than she thought. But she’d promised Jamie. And Kate. “I hope I didn’t hurt you, shoving you like that.”

  Jessica stared at her but did not reply. It was unsettling, the way those eyes seemed to probe her innermost thoughts.

  “I guess I’m just a little overprotective of the kids around here.” Skyler shifted from one foot to the other. She could see the suspicion in Jessica’s eyes. She didn’t want to betray a confidence. “You just scared Jamie, that’s all.”

  Jessica frowned. So, the gruff trainer had a soft spot after all. The fact that Skyler averted her eyes and shifted her feet told her there was more she wasn’t saying.

  Skyler cleared her throat. “So, it was really my fault for not already posting a warning against entering that stall.”

  An apology and an admission of guilt? “I’m just glad nobody was hurt,” Jessica said.

  “Well, you’ll still have to clean his stall,” Skyler said. “I can’t trust him around the kids.”

  There was that annoying arrogance again. “I always insist on taking care of my own horse,” Jessica replied brusquely.

  Skyler nodded and started to leave. Painful as it was, the apology had lifted a little weight from her shoulders. They had almost connected there for a few seconds. But now, the moment was gone. She looked back, tempted to say something else, and caught Jessica staring. She’s checking out my ass! And Kate was worried about me jumping her!

  Jessica quickly looked away. “Was there something else?”

  Skyler studied her defensive stance and knew Jessica was trying to hide her need to lean on the cane. What she saw was a lot of pain, and a lot of heart. She’d seen that kind of courage in a few horses, but seldom so clearly in a rider. Maybe she’d been hasty in her initial evaluation of Rampage and Jessica.

  “Oh, yeah,” she said softly. “Con’s favorite book was Misty of Chincoteague. I read it to him many times.”

  Jessica stared after the retr
eating figure. She must have meant Con Man, the gray gelding she rode to a gold medal. She remembered watching from the stands as Skyler Reese bent her head to accept the gold medal after her spectacular ride seven years ago. One day, she vowed, Skyler could sit in the stands and watch that gold being hung around her neck. She looked over at Rampage. The big bay stared back as he munched his hay.

  Man, have we got a lot of work to do in the next few months.

  *

  “Hey, Skyler. I hope you’re hungry.” Kate waved her spatula over the full grill. “Jess and Charlie have made enough hamburgers here to feed an army. We may have to send a couple out to West Barn.”

  “Yeah, well, Clint certainly can put away a few,” Skyler said, pulling a chair up and settling into it.

  She smiled as Jessica handed over an opened beer with a slice of lime stuffed in the narrow neck. Her dark hair was loose, softly framing her face and draping just past her collar. Skyler could not tear her eyes away as Jessica helped Charlie unwrap cheese slices to pass to Kate. They could have been brother and sister, both dark haired with blue eyes.

  The eight-year-old did not hide his curiosity about the new arrival. “Are you alone, too?” he asked Jessica.

  She looked uncertain for a split second, then seemed to realize he was wondering about her reason for staying with Kate. Jessica gave him a warm smile. “Oh, no, Charlie. I’m not alone. My mom lives in Atlanta. But since I never had a daddy, Kate has been a sort of second mom for me.”

  Charlie sighed like he carried the world on his small shoulders. “My mom is gone. She had cancer. She died and Kate let me come stay with her until they decide what to do with me. I don’t have a daddy, either.”

  “Then I guess we’re both sort of strays that have ended up on her doorstep,” Jessica said. “So maybe we could be friends. That doesn’t sound so lonely, does it?”

  The boy brightened immediately. “Kate said Trekker could be my horse while I’m here, and nobody but me could ride him.”

  Skyler almost laughed at the abrupt change of topic. Charlie’s mood sometimes seemed to shift by the minute.

  “That’s great,” Jessica said. “Maybe we could take a trail ride together while we’re both here.”

  “That would be cool. I can show you the trails.” Charlie grinned up at her.

  His awed expression made Skyler a little jealous, but she wasn’t sure of whom. Was she jealous that her shadow was suddenly enchanted by Jessica? Or was she wishing it was her cheese slice Jessica was helping unwrap?

  “Hello, Earth to Skyler.” Kate waved a hand in front of her face.

  Skyler blinked. “Uh, just trying to remember if I closed the feed room door,” she lied, relieved that Kate didn’t seem to notice the faint blush she could feel creeping up her neck and warming her ears.

  “Well, make yourself useful and light the torches to keep the bugs away.” Kate gazed around. “It’s a really nice night. I think we’ll just eat on the patio.”

  Dinner went quickly. Kate skillfully introduced conversation subjects she knew were common ground between Jessica and Skyler. They all laughed at Skyler’s compulsion to build her burger always exactly the same way each time—mustard on the bottom, mayo on the top with tomato, then pickles. Jessica’s habit of using a French fry to draw designs in her ketchup was the object of teasing until everyone began competing to see who could draw the best ketchup picture. Kate pressed Charlie into service as the ketchup art judge. She then hustled him off to get ready for bed as dusk had turned to dark, leaving Jessica and Skyler on the patio.

  The still-burning torches cast a flickering light across Jessica’s face. With her elbows resting on the table, she leaned forward and said, “I was there the day you won the gold medal. I remember thinking that you seemed so calm and confident. You and that big gray made those jumps look like it was just the same walk in the park you took every day.”

  Relaxed by the three beers she’d consumed, Skyler closed her eyes and was instantly back in that indoor arena. She felt Con Man rise powerfully over each jump. The sound of his hooves against the dirt flooring thundered in her ears. Her mind constantly ran ahead to the next jump before they touched the ground from the one they were clearing. Shorten his stride, line it up, find her balance, push forward.

  “Tell me what it felt like,” Jessica’s soft voice urged.

  Skyler opened her eyes. She’d been asked many questions about that day. Were you nervous? Did you worry about the last jump? What are your plans now? No one had ever asked her to put them in that saddle and tell them what it felt like to conquer. The experience was a treasure she’d kept to herself. But at this moment, it was a piece of her that she wanted to share with this woman whose eyes were filled with so much vision, so much want.

  There was barely a foot between them. Her eyes never left Jessica’s. “When we entered the arena and the crowd went silent, the quiet sounded louder than a million drums beating in my ears,” she said softly. “It was one of those perfect moments, you know, when you feel yourself slipping into the zone…when you feel like you and the horse are one animal. The jumps seemed so small and Con felt so powerful. He seemed to know what I wanted before I even thought it. It was almost like we could fly if we really tried. I didn’t really have to look at the clock when we hit the home stretch. I knew we had done it.”

  Skyler’s eyes glowed as she relived the memory, and Jessica’s heart soared with her over that last jump. “I want to be in that same place,” she said fervently. “Rampage and I can do it. I know in my heart this is our time.”

  For a few seconds, Skyler simply stared at her, then she said, “Well, it was a ‘walk in the park,’ as you called it. We’d practiced it over and over until we could have run any course blindfolded. Reaching that pinnacle takes hard grueling training with few days off. I was healthy, and it still was hard for me.”

  “How did you do it?” The question sounded lame. Jessica explained, “I don’t mean physically. I mean…”

  “I know what you’re asking,” Skyler said softly. “It has to be the total focus of your life. There’s no time for personal issues or downtime to rest. Not just for days, weeks, or even months. If we get you a spot on the Olympic team, the rest of your life goes on hold for years as you prepare. If you aren’t absolutely sure you can make that kind of commitment, then it’s best not to start at all.”

  “I have no personal life,” Jessica said. “There aren’t too many dates willing to take a backseat to a horse.” She reached out impulsively and curled her fingers around Skyler’s bare forearm. “I want this more than anything in my life.”

  Looking into those eyes, Skyler found herself believing just that.

  Chapter Four

  Rampage ran through flying lead changes with the abandon of a kid skipping along the sidewalk, his thick neck arched and chin tucked toward his broad chest. His gaits were smooth and flawless. It was hard not to be impressed. The power and presence of this horse drew Skyler back to the time when she first saw Con Man. She’d known then that she was watching the ride that would put a gold medal within her reach. Just like her gut was telling her now this big bay could be her next golden ticket.

  “He’s an incredible mover, isn’t he?” Jessica’s dark head was tilted in concentration, her eyes pinned to the stallion’s every movement.

  Champion, Skyler thought once again. But this time, she was looking at the gold medal hunger written on the younger woman’s face. Maybe they could make this work. “He does seem to have what it takes,” she conceded. “But, like I said last night, going for the gold takes a lot more than just talent. It takes a lot of discipline and hard work. Are the two of you mentally and physically ready for that?”

  “I know he’s ready. And I think I can be ready, too.” Jessica could feel Skyler’s hesitation. It was time for some real honesty. This would never work unless they learned to trust each other. “Look, I know coming into the trials just recovering from an injury like mine isn’t ideal, but I�
��ve got this gut feeling that this is it. I know I can do this.”

  “The physical demands are a strain for a rider in peak fitness.” Skyler glanced down at Jessica’s injured leg. There was no mistaking the doubt in her eyes.

  “Just give us a chance.” Jessica needed Skyler to believe in her and Rampage. “God knows, you must know what it is like to have everybody saying, ‘She can’t do it.’ Help me prove them wrong again, Skyler. I know Rampage and I can do it with your help.”

  Skyler looked out past the paddock and into the darkening woods. This woman knew nothing about her, she thought bitterly, or perhaps she wouldn’t be so convinced she could be counted on. With a deep sigh, she said, “No sugar-coating. I want to see that leg. And I want to see how well you can ride with that injury.”

  The brilliant smile that lit Jessica’s face nearly took her breath away. Beautiful. Skyler couldn’t help but smile back at her.

  “I’ll show you my knee and give you a full medical report.” This would be the real test, Jessica knew. She just hoped Skyler wouldn’t back out once she saw fresh scars and the still-swollen joint. Besides breaking her femur in the accident, she had twisted her knee so severely that she’d torn most of the ligaments. The ACL, one of two ligaments that provide the stability to the knee, was so damaged that a new one had to be fashioned from her patellar tendon and grafted into her knee. The break in her femur had taken longer to heal, but was solid now. While the ligament had initially begun to heal quickly, it still remained painful as Jessica rushed her return to strenuous activity.

  “Okay, we can meet back at the house and I’ll have a look at your leg.” Skyler held out Rampage’s halter and lead rope, making it clear who would be tucking the stallion into his stall.