Nurse in a Million

by Jennifer Taylor

  Her face closed up as she picked up her bag. ‘Each to his own, as they say. I’ll see you later.’

  She stalked past him with her head held high and Rafferty sighed. He certainly hadn’t endeared himself to her with that crass remark and it hurt to know that she must think he was an insensitive clod, but what else could he have done? He needed to be sure that what he was doing was right. For her, not him.

  He took the file over to the window and sat down. Even though he’d been forced to amend his opinion of the work she’d been doing recently, it didn’t alter the fact that he still believed she should return to nursing. Nursing had always been more than just a job to her and he understood how passionately she felt about it because he felt the same way about what he did. Even if he achieved nothing else, he would make her see how important it was that she return to the career she loved.

  Opening the file, he settled back in the chair. He was going to complete this challenge she’d set him and come through it with flying colours.

  What was wrong with Rafferty?

  On her way to the clinic that night, Natalie found herself thinking back over what had happened that afternoon. She’d been dreading the board meeting after those comments Rafferty had made and, in the event, it had been every bit as bad as she’d feared. Things had started out well enough: Rafferty had been at his most urbane when she’d introduced him to the rest of the board members. However, once the meeting had got under way, the situation had quickly deteriorated.

  She sighed as she recalled Rafferty’s response when one of the members who was most strongly opposed to Palmer’s continuing support of its charitable ventures had voiced his opinion during the meeting. Before she’d had time to formulate a carefully worded reply, Rafferty had stepped in. He had been little short of rude as he’d told the man how many lives Worlds Together had saved and had then asked him if he thought he was getting value for money. What was the going rate for a human life? he’d demanded witheringly. One pound? Ten? A hundred?

  Natalie had done her best to rescue the situation because making the other man look like a fool in front of his colleagues certainly wouldn’t help her achieve what she wanted. She’d made an enemy that day because the fight had become personal now, and she couldn’t understand why Rafferty had taken it to such extremes. Surely he could have got across his point with a little more diplomacy? Instead of which he’d gone straight for the jugular, attacking his opponent with a ruthlessness that had surprised her. It made her see that there was a lot she didn’t know about him and it was worrying to admit it. She loved him with the whole of her heart, but how well did she really know him?

  The taxi drew up outside the clinic and she was forced to cut short her musings as she paid the driver and got out. It was just gone seven and there were only a couple of patients in the waiting area when she went in. Piers Dutton, one of their junior doctors, was working that night and he grinned when she went through to the treatment room.

  ‘Ah, I’m glad to see you’ve decided to relax the dress code, Nat. I was really worried when Sam told me that evening dress was now de rigueur for the staff. I’m still paying back my student loans and it would be a bit of a bind if I had to fork out for a dinner suit. Still, I didn’t want to let the side down so I made a special effort just for you.’

  He whipped off his sweatshirt to reveal an old-fashioned false shirtfront complete with bow-tie and studs. ‘My grandfather let me borrow this especially for the occasion. What do you think?’

  ‘Oh, ha-ha, very funny!’ she retorted. Piers was in his second year as a house officer at St Bart’s and an inveterate joker. They’d all been subjected to his pranks at one time or another and obviously it was her turn that night.

  ‘We aim to please,’ he responded, laughing.

  Helen suddenly appeared from one of the cubicles and rolled her eyes when she saw what was going on. ‘No wonder folk find it hard to believe he’s a proper doctor. He acts more like a ten-year-old most of the time!’

  ‘Now, now, you know you love me really,’ Piers admonished her, planting a noisy kiss on Helen’s cheek.

  ‘I love my cat but he can be a real pest at times, too,’ Helen retorted, pushing him away.

  ‘A pest?’ Piers let her go and clutched his chest. ‘I’m gutted!’

  ‘Not yet you aren’t, so don’t tempt me…’

  Helen picked up a speculum and threatened him with it, and Natalie laughed. It was good to enjoy some light-hearted banter after what had gone on that day. After Piers had left, still muttering about the cruelty of womankind, she asked Helen if Danny Kennedy was still in the clinic.

  ‘No, he left at lunchtime. Sam Cummins left a note in the office to say that Danny had claimed that he was feeling much better and wanted to leave. Sam said to tell you that he was sorry but there was no way he could stop him. The note’s still there if you want me to find it for you.’

  ‘No, it’s fine. I just wanted to know how he was,’ Natalie assured her, because there was no point wishing the boy had remained in the clinic for another night. They simply weren’t equipped to act as a hospital, so all she could do was hope that the rest and the medication had done the trick.

  There was no time to worry about it because they started to get busy and she soon had her hands full. She saw two young girls who had scabies—a skin infestation caused by mites burrowing under the skin to lay their eggs. The girls had been staying in a hostel and had probably caught the mites there.

  Natalie made them both take a bath and scrub themselves with soft soap to open up the burrows, then applied a solution of benzyl benzoate all over their skin. She explained that they would need a second and a third treatment at twelve-hourly intervals to clear up the infestation and that they would have to make sure all their clothes as well as their bedding were washed thoroughly, otherwise it would happen again. Both girls were horrified at the thought of suffering a second infestation and when they left the clinic they were debating if they should go home to their parents. Obviously, the joys of living in London had begun to pale.

  Natalie worked non-stop after that until they closed for the night. She shared a taxi part of the way home with Piers, dropping him off at the hospital where he had a room in the staff quarters. It was well past midnight by the time she unlocked the front door and she was worn out after the long day.

  She made herself a mug of warm milk then ran a bath and relaxed in the steaming water, only getting out when her eyes started to close. She was in bed five minutes later and fell asleep almost as soon as her head touched the pillow, only to spend the night dreaming about Rafferty. Awake or asleep, her thoughts were never far away from him, it seemed.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  BY THE end of the week, Rafferty was growing increasingly frustrated. Although Natalie included him in everything to do with the running of the company, the rest of the time she completely cut him out. A couple of times he’d suggested they have lunch together but on each occasion she had claimed to have a prior engagement. She was deliberately keeping him at a distance and even though he still wasn’t sure if it would be right to try and win her back, he would at least have liked the opportunity to do so.

  Friday arrived and there was another round of meetings to get through—finance, marketing, a meeting with someone from the Committee on Safety of Medicines. By late afternoon he was starting to wonder if he could take much more and the thought of having to come back the following week and go through the same routine all over again was almost more than he could stand—yet what choice did he have? Unless he completed this challenge Natalie had set him, she would never agree to come on the next Worlds Together mission. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place!

  ‘That’s just about it.’ Natalie came back into the office after escorting the CSM man to the lift. ‘It’s been a busy week but we’ve achieved quite a lot, I’d say.’

  ‘You’ve certainly got through enough meetings,’ he observed dryly, standing up.

  On
e delicate brow arched. ‘You’re not about to throw in the towel, are you?’

  ‘No way. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.’ He smiled mockingly. ‘So if that was your plan, my sweet, it hasn’t worked. I intend to see this through to the bitter end.’

  ‘Obviously you’re made of sterner stuff than I thought you were.’

  She didn’t deny his accusation and he sighed, because it was galling to know that he’d been right. She had been throwing obstacles in his path to get rid of him and it didn’t make him feel great to know that. Just for a moment he found himself wondering if he was wasting his time, but his resolve firmed again. He would get her back to nursing if it was the last thing he did!

  ‘So what’s in your diary this weekend?’ he asked, following her to the door. ‘A garden party? A spot of polo? Or maybe a weekend shooting in the country? There must be lots of small furry animals that need terrorising.’

  ‘I’ve not made up my mind yet,’ she told him airily, waving goodbye to Janet who was still at her desk. ‘It could be any of those or I might just stay home and wash my hair. How about you?’

  ‘I’ve nothing planned,’ he said tersely, because it was clear that she didn’t intend to tell him how she was planning to spend her weekend. In the absence of any solid information, he could only make assumptions, and he was making them, too. Far too many assumptions, in fact. Was Natalie planning on spending the weekend with that guy she’d rushed off to see the other night?

  Rafferty ground his teeth. The thought was enough to make him want to do something drastic but, logically, what could he do? Ban her from seeing the other fellow? He could imagine the reaction he’d get if he tried to do that.

  ‘Rafferty!’

  He looked up when he heard the exasperation in her voice and suddenly realised that they’d reached the ground floor while he’d been daydreaming and that she was waiting for him to get out of the lift. He strode past her, refusing to apologise for keeping her waiting when it was her own damned fault.

  How could she sleep with another man after what they’d shared? How could she want someone else when what they’d had together had been so special? He would never want anyone the way he wanted her, and it was another thought that did little to enhance his already downbeat mood. Not only did Natalie no longer want him but he was doomed to spend the rest of his life in celibacy!

  ‘Is something wrong?’

  She paused on the step after they’d exited the building and stared at him. Rafferty did his best to arrange his features into a neutral expression. The last thing he wanted was her guessing how despondent he felt. Faint heart never won fair lady, or so the saying went, so he’d better get a grip.

  ‘Not at all. I’m perfectly fine. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that I couldn’t feel better.’

  ‘Well, you certainly don’t look it to me,’ she snapped, marching down the steps ahead of him.

  They crossed the car park at a rate of knots, only pausing when they came to a sleek little silver sports car parked in the chief executive’s bay. It was a prestigious marque and the latest model to boot. Rafferty had seen the ads so he was well aware just how much the car must have cost, and it was like a naked flame being set to the touchpaper of his anger. How in heaven’s name could he hope to compete on this level?

  ‘We can’t all be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed every minute of the day. Not everyone has your advantages, Natalie,’ he said, shooting a speaking look at the expensive vehicle.

  ‘So we’re back to that, are we?’ She unlocked the car and tossed her bag onto the passenger seat then glared at him. ‘All you ever think about is money, Rafferty. Well, it doesn’t buy happiness and if you haven’t realised that by now, it’s high time you did!’

  She slid into the seat but Rafferty caught hold of the door before she could close it. ‘I know money doesn’t buy happiness, but it can and it does cause a lot of problems. Maybe it’s time you thought about that, too.’

  ‘I have thought about it. Believe me, I know the problems it can cause only too well!’

  She laughed and he flinched when he heard the echo of pain in her voice. ‘If you think it’s easy growing up as the only child of a millionaire father, then you’re mistaken. From the time I was old enough to understand, I never knew if people wanted to be friends with me because of who I was or how rich my parents were. And once I started dating it became a real minefield. It doesn’t do much for your ego to wonder if a man finds you or your father’s money more attractive!’

  ‘You’ve always known that I’m not interested in your money,’ he denied, stung by the insinuation.

  ‘Maybe not interested in getting your hands on it—no. But it’s always been a sticking point between us, hasn’t it? Not that it matters now, because obviously you’re less concerned about my family’s money than you are about me proving my worth as a person.’

  She went to close the door but he couldn’t let her get away with that. Bending, he stared into her face, seeing the anguish in her eyes yet unsure what had caused it. ‘What do you mean by that?’

  ‘Nothing. It doesn’t matter…’

  ‘It does.’

  He placed his hand over hers and felt his breath catch when she flinched. It took every scrap of control he could muster to carry on when what he wanted most was to haul her into his arms and kiss her until all these doubts had disappeared. However, in his heart he knew that sex wasn’t the way to resolve this problem. If it had been, they would have sorted it out ages ago.

  ‘What did you mean about proving your worth? I’m sorry, Natalie, but I don’t understand.’

  ‘I don’t know why. You were the one who told me that I wasn’t the woman you thought I was because I’d given up nursing.’ She eased her hand out from beneath his and started the engine. ‘Clearly, you measure my worth by the number of lives I save, so I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you, Rafferty, but I’m no longer a nurse.’

  Rafferty didn’t know what to say to that. He’d never imagined for a second that his comment would have had this kind of effect on her. It had been a passing remark, stemming from frustration, and it had never been intended to hurt her. He placed his hand on her cheek and turned her face towards him so that she was forced to look at him.

  ‘That wasn’t what I meant, Natalie. I don’t value you solely for the number of lives you save and I never have.’

  ‘No?’ She bit her lip and he groaned when he saw the tears that were welling into her eyes.

  ‘No!’ he repeated with renewed urgency, because it tore him apart to see her looking so upset.

  ‘But you still believe I’m making a mistake by giving up nursing to work here.’ She swept a hand around the car park. ‘Big business isn’t what you’re about, is it, Rafferty? You can’t see that sometimes you can help people—albeit indirectly.’

  ‘It’s hard,’ he admitted, because it would be wrong to lie to her about something so important. ‘However, I’m starting to change my views after what I’ve seen this week. Palmer’s does a lot of good…’

  ‘But you would never want to work for the firm, would you? You’d feel that you were selling out, which is what you accused me of doing.’ She smiled sadly and it was almost too much to see the sorrow on her face. ‘If that’s your view then I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but it means you do value me more for my nursing skills than anything else.’

  ‘How can you say that?’ he exploded.

  ‘Because it’s true.’ She touched him gently on the cheek, let her hand linger for a moment that was far too brief then placed it back on the steering-wheel. And there was something terrifyingly final about the gesture.

  ‘If you loved me, Rafferty, it wouldn’t matter what I did. You would value me for the person I am, and my family’s money or my job wouldn’t make a scrap of difference to you.’

  ‘That’s a very unrealistic attitude!’ he protested, stung by the accusation. ‘There are dozens of factors that need to be taken into account in a re
lationship.’

  ‘That’s your opinion, and you’re entitled to it, of course. Mine is much simpler, I’m afraid.’

  She gave him a sad little smile as she put the car into gear. Rafferty tried to think of something else to say but his thoughts seemed to be tumbling around inside his head like coloured chips inside a kaleidoscope. He watched in numb silence as she drove out of the car park and the fact that she didn’t look back was another damning indictment of the damage he’d caused. Natalie couldn’t even bear to look at him because she thought he didn’t love her for the person she was, but he did. He did!

  He took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down but nothing could ease the pain in his heart. He knew that he’d hurt her, knew, too, that it would take a lot to make her forgive him, but he would find a way to convince her not to give up on them…

  And then what?

  The question caught him unawares and he frowned because it seemed so trivial. Of course he knew the answer: it was simple. Once she’d forgiven him, then he would tell her that he loved her and…and…

  What?

  His brow furrowed because this second question—small though it was—seemed far more difficult to answer. Everything was clear up to the point where he declared his love for Natalie, but the future was hazy after that.

  He tried again. He would pluck up his courage and declare his love for her—that would be the first step. After that, he would explain his fears about her family being as rich as Croesus. Once he’d admitted that he was afraid he couldn’t live up to her expectations, it would be easier. They would laugh about it together and she would assure him that he had no need to worry because it didn’t matter…

  Only it did.

  It mattered to him, and not just the money either, but all the rest: his lack of roots; the absence of any family of his own; the way he’d been brought up. He cared about the whole damned lot and there was no point claiming that he didn’t, was there? He wanted them to have a proper relationship, on an equal footing, and he wasn’t sure if that was possible in the circumstances. He couldn’t bear to think that one day—in that hazy future he was struggling to imagine—she might regret getting involved with him, couldn’t stand to think that she might start to feel ashamed of him.