Nurse in a Million

by Jennifer Taylor

  ‘What are they?’ Jade asked, studying the script.

  ‘Antibiotics. They will soon clear up the infection and everything should start to settle down within twenty-four hours or so. Make sure you finish the full course of tablets, though, because you don’t want it coming back. And the other thing is to remember to drink plenty of fluids to flush out your bladder—plain water will do fine, or cranberry juice is very good if you can afford it.’

  ‘It will have to be water,’ Jade explained, standing up. ‘I won’t get paid until the end of the month so I’m broke. I can’t afford to start buying fruit juice.’

  ‘Water is just as good,’ Natalie assured her, resisting the urge to offer the girl some money.

  It was drummed into all the staff at the clinic that they must never give their patients any money. They were a medical facility, not a welfare centre. However, sometimes—like now, for instance—she found it very hard to stick to the rules. She had to content herself with the thought that she was working towards raising a sizeable donation for the clinic from Palmer’s charitable fund, so that would help a number of their youngsters.

  She saw Jade out and took her next patient through to the treatment area. That set the pattern for the rest of her shift and the time flew past. The evening staff came on duty at six so she cleared up and went to say hello to Sam Cummins, and found him talking to Rafferty. Helen was there as well and she beckoned Natalie over as soon as she appeared.

  ‘It’s been a really busy afternoon, hasn’t it?’ Helen declared, grinning at her. ‘Good job we had two extra pairs of hands. Quite a coincidence you and Rafferty both turning up like that, wasn’t it?’

  ‘It was,’ Natalie agreed, doing her best to ignore the meaningful looks Helen was giving her. Obviously, Helen was keen to find out if she and Rafferty had managed to resolve their differences but there was very little she could tell her when last night’s chat had left her feeling more confused than ever.

  ‘I was just saying to Rafferty that I didn’t feel like going straight home tonight and he suggested that we all go out for a meal.’ Helen looped her arm through Natalie’s and steered her towards the door. ‘Piers just phoned up to check when he’s supposed to be working next week so I’ve invited him along as well. You’re going to come with us, aren’t you?’

  ‘Oh, I don’t think so,’ Natalie began, but just then Rafferty came over to them.

  ‘Has Helen told you that we’re all going out for a meal?’

  ‘Yes, she has,’ Natalie replied coolly.

  ‘Good. We fancied a curry so I hope that’s all right with you. Helen said there’s a restaurant not far from here which is very good.’

  He seemed to have taken her agreement for granted as he followed them outside. Piers was coming along the street and Helen let go of her arm as she went to meet him. Natalie paused on the pavement, her eyes clouded with indecision as she turned to Rafferty.

  ‘Do you really think it’s a good idea for us to socialise like this?’

  ‘We’re only going for a curry, Natalie. Where’s the harm in that?’

  ‘None. But add it to the fact that you’ve suddenly decided to join the staff at the clinic and surely you can understand why I’m not exactly thrilled about the idea.’

  ‘No, I can’t, actually. OK, so maybe I should have let you know that I’d decided to volunteer to do a few shifts here, but I really didn’t think it would be that much of a problem.’

  ‘It isn’t a problem,’ she denied immediately, because she didn’t want it to become a major issue.

  ‘Good. So if it’s the thought of us going out for a meal that’s worrying you, I give you my word that I’m not planning anything else afterwards.’

  ‘Afterwards?’

  ‘Yes. I’m not about to try and get you into my bed, if that’s what you’re worried about. We already discussed that idea the other night. And decided it would be the wrong thing to do—remember?’

  Natalie flushed. If last Friday night had proved anything, then it was how vulnerable she was where he was concerned, and it was a reminder she could have done without at that moment. ‘I remember. However, we’ve let our emotions get the better of us far too often in the past and now I think it’s time we really thought about what we intend to do.’

  ‘Sounds like a sensible idea to me.’

  Natalie frowned when she heard the grim note in his voice. It certainly didn’t sound as though he believed it was the sensible option. ‘I’m glad you agree,’ she said firmly, determined not to let her resolve waver. She’d gone over this a thousand times and the more she’d thought about it, the more sense it had made. She just wasn’t prepared to risk hurting him any more.

  She took a quick breath and hurried on, because it would be easier for both of them if she got it over with as quickly as possible.

  ‘I’ve given this a lot of thought, Rafferty, and I’ve decided that if we’re never going to reach a compromise then I think we should end our relationship for good. It simply isn’t worth putting ourselves through any more heartache.’

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  ‘I’LL have the chicken jalfrezi—extra hot—with naan bread.’

  Rafferty gave the waiter his order and sat back in his seat, hoping the shock he was feeling wasn’t apparent to everyone else. Hearing Natalie state that it might be better if they split up permanently had been a blow, even though he’d wondered if it might be the only solution open to them.

  His gaze skimmed sideways and he felt his heart lurch once again. It was one thing to wonder about it himself, but something entirely different to know that she was considering such a course of action. Even though they’d split up before, they’d both known they would get back together at some point. But not this time. This time it would be different. Once the decision was made, that would be the end for them, and he didn’t know how he was going to carry on without her.

  ‘You’re a brave soul!’

  Rafferty jumped when Helen tapped him on the arm. He turned to face her, doing his best to behave as though everything was fine. It was a long way from being that—probably as bad as it could be, in fact—but he’d never been one for airing his feelings in public.

  ‘Why do you say that?’

  ‘Because you’re going for the extra-hot jalfrezi. Only the very brave or the very foolhardy choose that option!’

  Rafferty drummed up a smile when everyone laughed. ‘I’ll let you know which category I fall into after I’ve eaten it.’

  Piers chuckled. ‘I don’t think there’s much doubt about your bravery, sir. Not from what I’ve read about the work you’ve done overseas. Some of the places where you’ve been must have been very tough going.’

  ‘They were. And cut out the “sir”. Everyone calls me Rafferty.’

  ‘Not all the time,’ Natalie chipped in with a laugh.

  Rafferty glanced at her, firmly squashing his heart back into its allotted place when it tried to leap out of his chest. So maybe she was smiling at him at the moment, but he couldn’t take it as a good sign after what she’d told him. She was ready to cast him aside and a smile meant absolutely nothing in those circumstances.

  ‘Meaning?’ he asked, struggling for lightness and probably missing it by miles.

  ‘Meaning that you have a nickname, don’t you?’

  She held his gaze for a moment then looked away, and he could tell by the tremor in her voice that she’d picked up the undercurrents. He sighed under his breath. He would have to do better than that if he hoped to convince her that he was unmoved by her decision to cut him out of her life. If she felt it was the right thing to do, he mustn’t stand in her way…although it wasn’t going to be easy to step aside.

  ‘What nickname?’ Piers demanded. ‘I’ve never heard anyone mention it at the hospital.’

  ‘It’s only used when we’re away on a mission,’ Natalie explained. ‘A lot of the people who work for Worlds Together have nicknames. Rafferty’s is TC, which stands for Top Cat.’ />
  Helen burst out laughing. ‘I don’t think I’ll ask how he got it! Seems self-explanatory to me.’

  Rafferty managed to smile but it wasn’t easy to deal with all these emotions that were running riot inside him. ‘I’m not sure if that was a compliment so I’m not going to comment.’

  ‘Better not,’ Helen replied cheerfully as she turned to Natalie. ‘So what’s your nickname, then? I take it that you do have one.’

  ‘I do.’ Natalie rolled her eyes. ‘Hot-lips, would you believe?’ She held up her hand when Helen opened her mouth. ‘And before you ask, I have no idea why I got landed with it…apart from the fact that some of the folk who work for the agency have a very puerile sense of humour!’

  Everyone laughed before the conversation moved on to a different topic. Rafferty joined in as best he could but it wasn’t easy to appear upbeat when there seemed to be a dark cloud hanging over his head. Their meal arrived and the curry turned out to be just as hot as Helen had predicted it would be, but he ate the lot because it had been his decision to choose it.

  That was the trouble with decisions, of course. Once they were made, it was difficult to unmake them. If Natalie decided to call time on their relationship, he would have a hard job changing her mind, especially when he wasn’t sure if it would be the right thing to do. Maybe she would be better off without him. Then she could find a guy who would fit into her life the way he would never be able to do.

  Thoughts like that only served to make him feel even more depressed so that by the time they’d finished eating, Rafferty had reached an all-time low. When Piers suggested going on to a nightclub, he immediately declined.

  ‘Sorry to be a party pooper but the only thing I’m fit for right now is bed.’

  He stood up and smiled around the table, making sure his gaze didn’t linger on Natalie because once it got stuck there it might never move on. ‘I’ll take care of the bill on my way out.’ He shook his head when Piers started to protest. ‘No, it’s my treat so don’t worry about it. Thanks for your company and enjoy the rest of your evening.’

  Helen and Piers tried once more to persuade him to go with them but once again he declined. Natalie didn’t say anything and he was very conscious of her silence as he said his goodbyes and went to pay the bill. There was a taxi dropping off a fare outside, so he got in and told the driver to take him home. And all the way there he kept thinking about him and Natalie splitting up. Was it the only option? He just didn’t know.

  Rafferty spent a sleepless night thinking about it so that by the time morning arrived the last thing he felt like doing was going in to Palmer’s again that day. What was the point, anyway? Natalie seemed perfectly happy with what she was doing and it wasn’t as though she had abandoned her nursing career altogether. She was working at the clinic, so surely he should be content with that. He should call a halt to this challenge he’d set her. After all, what right did he have to interfere in her life if she didn’t want him to play any part in it?

  It was a depressing thought and he found it hard to rid himself of an overwhelming sense of gloom as he got dressed and left the flat. Even though he hated the thought, he knew that he had to tell her his decision. Any plans he’d had about winning her back had to be forgotten, too. It would be best if they made a clean break, even though the thought of being without her made him feel ill. But it really didn’t matter how he felt, did it? It was Natalie who mattered, her feelings his only concern. If she would be better off without him then he wasn’t going to stand in her way.

  He was just stepping out of the lift outside her office when his cellphone suddenly rang. Reaching into his pocket, he checked the display and frowned when he saw that it was Shiloh Smith, the head of Worlds Together, calling him. Veering off from the main corridor, he found a quiet spot near the window while he answered the call, his frown deepening when he heard what Shiloh had to say.

  Five minutes later, Rafferty ended the call, wondering what he should do. Shiloh had told him that they were sending a team from Worlds Together to Honduras to assist in the aftermath of a hurricane that had swept through the country. Thousands of people had been left without food and shelter, and there were thousands more casualties. Rafferty hadn’t hesitated as he’d agreed to head up the team, but it had left him in a bit of a quandary. He didn’t want to leave until he’d talked to Natalie but what was he going to say to her? That he’d abandoned any hope of her returning to full-time nursing and that he was stepping aside so she could get on with her life? It was what he’d been planning on doing when he’d set out that morning, but all of a sudden he couldn’t imagine telling her that. It would be too hard, too stressful, too…too much!

  He took a deep breath as panic threatened to engulf him. He needed to think this all through and be sure about what he was going to do, because whatever decision he made today would affect the rest of his life.

  Natalie checked her watch for the tenth time in as many minutes. It was almost eleven a.m. and Rafferty still hadn’t appeared. He’d never been this late arriving before, so she could only assume that he wasn’t coming in that day. Had he decided not to bother because it wasn’t worth it now that she’d told him they might be better off splitting up?

  The thought sent a chill of fear coursing through her and she hurried to her desk to phone him. Even though it had been her decision to tell him that, she hated to think that he’d taken her at her word. If he really believed that she should return to nursing, he should be prepared to fight for his beliefs!

  She punched in his home phone number but there was no answer at the flat even though she let the phone ring at least a dozen times. Cutting the connection, she started to dial his cellphone number then glanced round in surprise when the office door opened and he suddenly appeared. Slamming the receiver back onto its rest, she shot to her feet and glared at him, her temper sparked by the fear that had settled into the pit of her stomach. She really didn’t know what she was going to do if Rafferty went out of her life for good.

  ‘What time do you call this?’

  ‘I’m sorry. I should have let you know I was going to be late but something cropped up.’

  Despite the apology, his tone held little sign of repentance and she glared all the harder at him. ‘It really isn’t good enough. When you accepted my challenge, Rafferty, you agreed to abide by my rules. I expect you to be here on time, not wander into the office whenever you feel like it.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he repeated flatly. ‘If you want me to write out a hundred times that I must not be late in future, I’ll be happy to do so.’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous!’ she snapped, swinging round so he couldn’t see the angry colour that had swept up her cheeks. Rafferty was right to mock her. She was behaving more like an irate schoolteacher than the head of a blue-chip company and she needed to get a grip. It was just the thought of losing him that was making it so hard to behave sensibly.

  ‘Shall we start this conversation again from the beginning?’

  There was a weariness in his voice now that made her skin prickle and she looked at him in alarm. His face was tired and drawn, the dark circles under his eyes more pronounced than ever that day. With his black hair and aquiline features, he looked tough and unyielding as he stood in front of her desk and she felt a frisson run along her nerves. It was obvious that there was something else troubling him apart from her waspishness.

  All of a sudden the fight seemed to drain out of her and she sighed. ‘I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. I’m just a bit edgy…’

  She broke off, not wanting to have to explain why she was so on edge. Admitting that it was the thought of them splitting up wouldn’t help her reach the right decision. She had to do what was best for both of them and not allow herself to get carried away on a tide of emotion, as usually happened when they were together.

  ‘It doesn’t matter. I can’t say that I’m my usual unruffled self at the moment either.’ He went over to the window and st
ared out at the river for a moment before he turned to face her again. ‘Shiloh phoned me earlier today. He wants me to head up a team he’s sending over to Honduras so I’ll be flying out tonight at eight o’clock.’

  ‘I see.’

  Natalie felt as though all the breath had been knocked out of her body. She knew in her heart that if Rafferty left that night, it would mean the end of their relationship. Even though she’d suggested it to him herself, it was only then that it struck her what exactly it would mean.

  ‘You’re going there because of that hurricane, I take it?’ she said quietly, trying not to let him see how terrified she was. Losing Rafferty would be like losing a part of herself and the enormity of what she could be facing was almost too much to take in.

  ‘Yes. They’re already counting the casualties in thousands and they’re expecting to find a lot more once the winds have died down. The whole of the coastal region is flooded and they’ve not managed to get anyone out there yet to see what the damage is like.’ He shrugged. ‘We’ll be setting up camp a few miles inland so we’ll be in the thick of things.’

  ‘Did Shiloh say who else is on the team?’ she asked, since it was easier to concentrate on the present than think about the future. She had no idea how she was going to live without him, but that’s what she would have to do if they split up for good.

  ‘He’d only just started ringing round when I spoke to him,’ Rafferty explained, moving away from the window and sitting down on a chair. ‘Ben Carstairs is going, so that’s one anaesthetist. And Patsy Rush and Lauren Pierce have offered their services as well, so that’s a couple of nurses. As for the rest…’ He shrugged. ‘Your guess is as good as mine, basically, but it won’t be easy to get a team together from what Shiloh told me. He’s just finished putting together a team to fly out to Mwuranda to take over from Adam Chandler, and there’s a limit to how many people he can call on.’