‘It would be great if we could do that, but it’s way too expensive to call in a private security firm. Our resources are stretched to the absolute limit as it is,’ Helen pointed out sadly.
Natalie nodded. ‘I know, but there might be a way around it. I’ve been working on a proposal to get some extra funding for the clinic from Palmer’s charitable trust. Maybe we could cover the costs out of that?’
‘That would be marvelous, but are you sure you want to do this for us, Natalie? I’d hate you to think that we’re using you.’
‘Of course you aren’t using me! It was my idea in the first place so how can you say that?’ She smiled at the other woman. ‘Leave it with me and I’ll see what I can do.’
Helen still looked a bit concerned so Natalie didn’t pursue the idea. There was a bit of a rush shortly afterwards anyway, so they were both too busy to talk about it any more. Natalie checked each time she saw one of her patients out but the street was quiet each time, with no sign of anyone hanging about outside. She took a break at eight then worked until ten when all of a sudden exhaustion caught up with her. Helen must have noticed her yawning as she escorted her last patient from the treatment room because she came bustling over to her.
‘OK, that’s it,’ she said firmly. ‘You’re to go home while you’re still capable of walking.’
Natalie grimaced as another massive yawn caught up with her. ‘I think you might be right. I’ll just see Jessica out, then call it a night.’
She walked the girl to the door and smiled reassuringly at her when the teenager hesitated. ‘I’ll watch until you reach the corner safely.’
‘Thanks. One of the girls from the hostel had a bit of trouble the other night, which is why I didn’t come to see you sooner. However, this rash has been driving me crazy so I decided I couldn’t wait any longer.’
‘Hopefully, this should clear it up.’ Natalie glanced at the script she’d written for corticosteroid cream to combat an outbreak of dermatitis on the girl’s arms caused by a reaction to the nickel in some bracelets Jessica had bought. ‘You’ll need to apply it for a few days, as I explained, but it should do the trick. Just make sure that you don’t go buying any more jewellery unless you’re certain that it’s real gold next time.’
‘Don’t worry. I’ve learned my lesson. It’s the last time I’ll buy anything off a market stall!’
Jessica gave her a cheery wave then hurried up the street. Natalie watched until she reached the corner. She was just about to go back inside when she suddenly heard the girl scream. She didn’t even pause to consider the wisdom of what she was doing as she raced out of the clinic and ran up the road. Rounding the corner, she ground to a halt when she found herself confronted by a gang of youths. Jessica was lying sprawled on the pavement with blood pouring down her cheek. One of the youths was standing over her, holding her prescription in his hand. It was obvious that he must have attacked her for it and Natalie saw red.
‘What do you think you’re doing?’ she shouted, advancing towards him. She took another couple of steps then suddenly realised that another member of the gang had come up behind her.
She spun round then gasped when she felt something hit her in the chest. There was no pain, strangely enough, just the feel of the blow slamming into her body followed by the strangest sensation of not being able to breathe properly. She could hear Jessica screaming but the sound seemed to be coming from a long way away. Her vision started to blur and her last thought before she passed out was that she wished she’d told Rafferty how much she loved him.
CHAPTER TWELVE
RAFFERTY spent the rest of the day in his room, only leaving it when hunger forced him to go out and find something to eat. He drove to the nearest town and stopped at the first café he came to. It was packed with holidaymakers and he had to wait for a table but it didn’t matter. He didn’t have anything better to do so spending a few extra minutes hanging around wasn’t important. Anyway, it helped fill in the time and that was what he needed to do most of all.
The waitress brought his meal and he ate everything on his plate even though he couldn’t taste the food. He paid his bill then spent another hour wandering around the souvenir shops before he went back to the guest house. It was just gone seven but he got ready for bed because it was easier than trying to think of something else to fill in the time. It took him a while to fall asleep even though he was exhausted, and he was awake early the following morning but at least another few hours had passed, and if he joined all those hours together then maybe he’d get through the rest of his life somehow.
There were morning papers on the hall table when he went down for breakfast so he took one with him into the dining room to save him having to make conversation with the other guests. He ordered a full English breakfast because it would use up even more time while he ate it then opened the paper and skimmed through the usual stories of mayhem and bloodshed. It was only when he reached the centre pages that a half-inch column caught his attention and he froze when he read that a nurse working at a central London clinic for homeless teenagers had been stabbed the previous night. Even though the paper didn’t give any other details, he knew that it was Natalie they were referring to, Natalie who had been injured, Natalie who even now might be fighting for her life!
He flung the paper on the table and raced out of the room, ignoring the waitress who was in the process of bringing his breakfast. There was no time to explain where he was going, no time to do anything except get to Natalie. He would never forgive himself for not being there when she needed him, for allowing her to put herself in danger, for being so…so pig-headed about not telling her that he loved her. Maybe he couldn’t have her in his life but he could have told her how he felt—that she was the most precious, the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to him. Now the thought that it might be too late to tell her that almost brought him to his knees—only he couldn’t break down just yet, not until he’d seen her.
Afterwards, Rafferty remembered nothing of the drive back to London. He was on autopilot as the powerful car ate up the miles. It was lunchtime when he arrived and he drove straight to the hospital where the paper had said that she’d been taken, then had to endure a seemingly endless wait before the woman on duty at the reception desk informed him that, as he wasn’t a relative, she couldn’t give out any information about Miss Palmer.
‘But that’s ridiculous!’ he stated, gripping the counter as a wave of fear threatened to engulf him, because there was only one reason he could think of why she was being so evasive. ‘I demand to know which ward Miss Palmer is in.’
‘I’m sorry, sir,’ the receptionist replied primly. ‘But it’s a question of patient confidentiality—’
‘Don’t give me that!’ he snapped, his patience eroded by the fear that was gnawing away inside him. Natalie couldn’t be dead. She couldn’t! ‘If you won’t tell me what I need to know, I demand to speak to someone who will!’
‘If you carry on like that, sir, I shall have to ask you to leave.’ The receptionist backed away from the counter and he cursed himself because he wasn’t helping matters by losing his temper with her.
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout at you but I’ve just driven halfway across the country and I’m worried sick.’ He made a conscious effort to calm down. ‘I’m a doctor so I do understand about patient confidentiality, but I really need to know if Miss Palmer is still here.’
‘Well…’ The receptionist wavered so Rafferty upped the ante by pulling out his hospital ID, at the same time treating her to his most winsome smile.
‘Please. I’d be eternally grateful to you.’
‘Well, I suppose it can’t hurt if you’re a doctor.’ She suddenly caved in, obviously charmed into helping him. ‘Miss Palmer is in ICU. That’s on the sixth floor so you’ll need to take the lift.’
Rafferty proffered his thanks as the woman directed him to the lifts on the far side of the reception area. He hurried towards them, feeling
sick because Natalie’s condition had to be extremely serious to warrant a precious intensive care bed. The ride up to the sixth floor was quick but he was seething with impatience by the time he got there. There was another reception desk outside the unit and he had to explain all over again who he was and who he wanted to see, not feeling in the least bit guilty about misleading the young receptionist on duty into thinking that he was a member of the hospital’s staff. Every extra second’s delay meant another second away from Natalie and he couldn’t afford to waste any more time!
Natalie was in the bed nearest to the nurses’ station. Rafferty’s heart began to pound as he was taken through to see her because it was accepted practice to place the most seriously ill patients closest to the nurses. There was no point in deluding himself about what he was going to find but, even though he’d tried to prepare himself, the sight of her wired up to all the machinery still came as a shock.
His legs felt like jelly as he walked over to the bed and stood there, looking at her. Her face was ashen, her eyes closed, her chest rising and falling in the unnatural rhythm that resulted from having a machine breathing for her. Just twenty-four hours ago they’d knelt on that mountainside and saved a man’s life; now here she was, looking as though her own life was ebbing away.
He sank to his knees, ignoring the nurse’s murmur of astonishment as he grasped Natalie’s hand. All the doubts he’d ever had, all the uncertainties that had plagued him no longer mattered. The only important thing was that she should live. Maybe they couldn’t spend their lives together but so long as she didn’t die and leave him, he would be happy. He simply couldn’t imagine a world where Natalie was no longer a part of it and didn’t want to try. It would be his own personal hell, a place of darkness and despair. He didn’t have the strength to carry on without her.
There was a dull throbbing in her head and her throat hurt.
Natalie lay quite still for a moment, testing out these strange sensations that had invaded her body. She knew that she was in bed because she could tell that she was lying down, but it didn’t feel like her bed. There was a heaviness about her limbs, too, that felt odd, almost as though she was being pinned down…
Her eyes flew open in panic and she stared in alarm at the array of machines lined up beside her. Monitors flickered, the brightly coloured lines, which were the visible signs of the various blips and beeps she could hear, hurting her eyes so that she closed them again then opened them when she realised that someone was speaking to her. The voice was familiar yet there was something odd about it, as though all that emotion it held was being contained only through a great deal of effort. Why on earth did Rafferty sound so upset? Had something awful happened?
She turned her head to look at him and felt her heart jolt in shock when she realised that he was crying. There were tears streaming down his face and the sight of them made her want to cry too, only her eyes felt horribly dry. A sob rose to her throat and she promptly started to gag because of the pain it caused her.
‘Shh. Don’t upset yourself now. It’s all right, my darling. Everything is going to be fine.’
He bent and kissed her on the cheek, and his lips felt warm and damp when they touched her skin. Natalie wanted him to keep on kissing her because it felt so good, but all too quickly he drew back. She looked at him with eyes that mirrored her bewilderment and he smiled tenderly back at her.
‘I know you must have lots of questions but you mustn’t try to speak. Your throat will be swollen from having a tube in it.’
‘Tube?’ she croaked, screwing up her face in pain because it felt as though someone was sticking red-hot needles into her throat when she spoke.
‘Yes. You’ve had the full works—tubes in and out all over the place and wires attaching you to all the monitors. The staff here could write a textbook about your blood pressure alone, I expect!’
She tried to respond to the teasing remark but she still had no real idea what was going on. Rafferty must have realised that she was confused because his grip on her hand tightened.
‘You’re in ICU, Natalie. You’ve been here for three days,’ he explained gently. ‘You were stabbed in the chest and your lungs collapsed, but you’re going to be fine.’
‘Stabbed,’ she mouthed, not attempting to speak this time, partly through fear of the pain it would cause and partly out of shock.
‘That’s right. You were at the clinic when it happened. You tried to help a girl who’d been attacked and someone stabbed you in the chest.’
Natalie gasped as she suddenly remembered her frantic dash along the road and the young girl sprawled across the pavement. ‘Is she all right?’ she whispered anxiously and Rafferty nodded.
‘If you mean Jessica, she’s fine. You don’t need to worry about her—just concentrate on getting better.’ He gently loosened his grip on her hand, smiling reassuringly when he saw panic flare in her eyes. ‘I’m not leaving you for very long, sweetheart, but I told your father that I’d phone him as soon as you woke up. I’ll be straight back once I’ve spoken to him. That’s a promise.’
He kissed her lightly on the lips then hurried away. Natalie closed her eyes as she listened to his footsteps fading. Maybe she was reading too much into what he’d said but she had a feeling that promise hadn’t been meant just for the short term.
A smile touched her mouth as she drifted back to sleep because maybe—just maybe—things were going to work out for them after all.
Rafferty finished assuring Richard Palmer that he would phone him immediately if there was any change in Natalie’s condition and hung up. Now that the worst seemed to be over, reaction had set in and he felt positively weak with exhaustion as he made his way back to the IC unit. He’d maintained a constant vigil at Natalie’s bedside, only leaving her when the staff had forced him to take a break. Fortunately, the consultant in charge of the unit was someone he knew, so he’d been able to call in a few favours, otherwise he wouldn’t have been allowed to stay. Now, as he went back to her bed, he could feel his stomach churning with nerves.
He had no idea what was going to happen once she recovered from her ordeal. However, he did know that he was going to carry out that promise he’d made to her. He was going to stay with her for however long she needed him, and when the time came that she could manage on her own, he would step aside. All he wanted was to know that she was safe and happy, and he’d be content.
She was fast asleep when he got back so he sat down and waited for her to wake up. She slept for more than an hour and it was gratifying to see that she looked for him as soon as she woke up, although he couldn’t allow himself to read too much into it. In a situation like this she was bound to need the reassurance of a familiar face.
‘Back in the land of the living again,’ he said lightly, trying not to let that thought intrude. So long as she was safe, that was all that mattered, he reminded himself. ‘I’ve spoken to your father and he sends his love. I managed to persuade him not to rush back here so he’ll be in to see you later on this afternoon.’
‘Good,’ she croaked. ‘Don…wan’…him making hi’self ill again.’
‘We certainly don’t.’ He gave her hand a gentle squeeze then went to pick up the beaker of water so he could give her a drink, only she wouldn’t let him go. Her fingers clutched his in a surprisingly strong grip.
‘There’s something I have to tell you, Rafferty.’
Rafferty felt a spasm of terror run through him. There was only one thing he could think of that she would need to tell him so urgently and that was that she didn’t want him getting the wrong idea about their relationship. He wasn’t sure if he was up to hearing it at that moment, despite his high ideals, so he hurriedly tried to intervene.
‘Shh, now. You mustn’t keep straining your throat…’
‘I…love…you…’
They both spoke together then both stopped. Rafferty heard his own throat rasp this time as he swallowed. He knew that she was waiting for him to say something but
he couldn’t seem to force a solitary word out of his mouth.
‘This is the part where you’re supposed to answer.’
Her voiced sounded a little stronger but maybe it was his hearing which had become so acute all of a sudden. Rafferty tried again to make his body obey him but when he opened his mouth a big fat nothing came out. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, too—adored her!—but all he could manage was silence, and it obviously wasn’t the response she’d been hoping for.
He groaned when he saw tears start to trickle down her cheeks because he couldn’t bear to know that he’d hurt her when she’d just offered him the world on a plate. And it was that thought which finally galvanised him into action.
He took hold of her hand and gripped it tightly with his. ‘I love you, too, Natalie, with all my heart and every scrap of my being. I love you so much that I ache when I’m not with you. I can’t bear the thought of facing the future without you, but I’d let you go in an instant if I thought it would make you happy.’
‘I don’t want you to let me go,’ she said huskily as her tears gathered momentum. ‘I want you to hold onto me because I need you…’
She broke off, overwhelmed by both the effort of talking and the emotion of the moment, but he didn’t need to hear anything else. She’d told him more than enough, had completely dispersed the cloud that had been hovering over him so that his world suddenly seemed to be lit by sunshine.
Gathering her into his arms, he hugged her to him then cursed roundly when the monitors cheeped out a warning about him invading their territory. Natalie laughed and the sound was like music playing inside his head, so pure and so beautiful that he couldn’t think of a more wonderful accompaniment as he kissed gently her on the mouth. He drew back and smiled at her with a wealth of tenderness in his eyes.
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