by Seton, Cora
“Ma—” I didn’t want to hear anymore. The pressure built in my chest, the quiet rage I’d hidden from the world.
“Which aren’t your sins to atone for. You didn’t put Jane behind that wheel and tell her to drive drunk down a dark country road. You didn’t tell her to pop those pills. That was all her. So what will happen when you can’t save Charlie, too? Jane was her own person, with her own judgment calls. She made the wrong call. That’s not your fault.”
That last sentence felt like a hammer against my lungs. The air whooshed out of me and I crumbled to the edge of the bed.
Mom seemed to sense it because she sat down beside me, and took my hand in both hers, holding tightly. “I know you’ve been blaming yourself, son. But it wasn’t your fault. And I am so proud of you for going into the military, and making through to become a SEAL. Having that goal gave you focus. Never doubt that. But it didn’t give you life, and that’s what you’re missing. You can’t save those that don’t want to be saved.”
“Do you want me to just let her go?” I asked, my voice cracking. “Because I can’t do that. I care about her, Mom. A lot. It’s weird, because it’s only been a few days… but I do.”
“I know.” She patted my cheek lightly. “You’re such a good boy, Jesse. Just… be careful.”
“What should I do?”
“Right now?” She sighed. “Go in there and take care of her. She’s had a rough go of it, and she deserves someone to take care of her. This is not your cross to bear alone, though. Get help. Promise me that?”
She looked genuinely afraid for me, which was weird. Mom was never afraid. Of anything.
I nodded. “Alright, Ma. I’ll get help.”
“And you’ll be careful?”
I nodded.
“Swear?”
I shook my head, grinning at her. “My mama taught me never to swear.”
“Fat lot of good it did. Your mouth is filthy.” She laughed, patting my cheek. “I need to get back downstairs. I’ll tell them Charlie’s joining us for dinner. She should probably let her parents know she’s over here, too. They tend to worry if she doesn’t come home at a decent hour when she’s not working.”
I raised an eyebrow at her. “You’ve just decided she’s staying?”
She nodded. “Of course.” She leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Go on, now. Make sure she’s got what she needs. Dinner’s in an hour.”
Confused as hell, I stood up as she did, and let her leave the room. A few minutes later, the door cracked open, and Charlie slipped inside, her body draped in a towel, and her hair dripping over her bare shoulders. She carried her clothes bunched in her hand. She hugged them close and smiled. “Hey.”
“Hey.” I couldn’t stop staring at her. She was standing in my room in a towel. Naked. In a towel. Little droplets of water fell from her dark hair to her smooth caramel skin. Suddenly, I just wanted to rip that towel away and feast on her body until she screamed my name in ecstasy.
“Oh, right. Clothes. I was getting you clothes.” I pulled open a drawer and grabbed my Flash shirt from inside and a pair of athletic shorts. I held them to her. “Sorry, I’m fresh out of women’s underwear.”
She giggled. “Now that would be a sight to see.”
“No, no it really wouldn’t. I’ve got really hairy legs.” I replied, smiling back. She seemed more relaxed after the shower. The cuts on her were still red and angry-looking, her eyes sunken and haunted. But the blood had been scrubbed away and her breath was even and calm. I stepped close to her, rubbing her arms with my hands, up and down. “You look better.”
“I do feel a little better,” she said, not looking at me. “Where can I change?”
Wanting to make her laugh, I grinned mischievously and replied, “Right here, baby.” I plopped on the bed, crossing my legs to watch her.
She laughed, then frowned. “You can’t be serious.”
“Dead serious, sweetie. Drop the towel and let me see you.”
“Your family is downstairs, and you’re trying to get in my pants?”
“You’re actually not wearing any pants right now.”
She groaned. “You’re incorrigible.”
“Don’t you use those big college words with me, missy. I’m just a low class enlisted man.”
“Whatever,” she rolled her eyes. “What are you going to do if I don’t stop the big words?”
I was on her in one second, and by the end of the second one, I had her pinned beneath me on the bed. She squealed in surprise and tried to push me off, and I would have done it too, if she hadn’t been laughing. “I can show you in great detail what I want to do to you, Chuckles.” I dipped my head into the crevice where her neck and shoulder met and gently nipped her skin, then smoothed over it with my tongue.
“Jesse…” she drawled.
Slowly, I pulled the towel apart, and slid it from her body. Every gorgeous inch of her skin that was revealed to me had a direct effect on my cock. Blood drained from every inch of me directly into my dick, forcing it to attention. “Fuck, Charlie. You’re gorgeous.”
Her nipples were already erect, and I couldn’t help myself as I pressed my lips to the soft globe of flesh, and ran my tongue around the tiny buttons. Her back arched, and her hand flew to my head, pressing me closer into her body.
“Oh, Jesse…” she breathed. “That feels amazing.”
I stopped, and glanced up at her, idly circling one nipple with my index finger. “Charlie?” I had to be honest with her.
“Yeah?”
“Tell me what you want me to do,” I whispered.
She blinked. “What?”
“I want you to enjoy yourself right now. I’ll touch you anyway you want me to touch you. You just have to ask.”
“Jesse—”
“Well, I guess I should admit that I’m a little on shaky ground here,” I said.
“You’ve never… I mean, there’s never been…”
“I’ve had sex before,” I snapped, irritated. “It’s not that. It’s just that… I hadn’t done it a lot.”
“Done what?”
“Um… Sex. There’s only been one person before.”
Charlie sat up, leaving the towel on the bed beneath her. Her naked body was one butterscotch delight I needed to taste. “Oh.”
She was about to say more, when there was a knock on the door. “Jesse?”
She closed her eyes, and pulled the towel around her, covering her delectable body. I sighed, and stood up. “Yes, Mom?” I called through the door.
“Dinner’s done. You and Charlie come downstairs.”
I glanced back at Charlie, who had already put on her bra and underwear, and was putting my clothes that I’d given her on. I sighed. It seemed the moment had passed.
Chapter Twelve
Charlene
‡
“Damn it, Sophie!” Coby growled as Sophie’s spoon flicked mashed potatoes in his face. Poor Sophie looked like she’d no idea what just happened, though the offending spoon was in her hand. Her lips parted and her eyes widened.
“I didn’t mean it! It was stuck!” Sophie cried out before anyone could say anything.
“Watch your language around your sister, Coby.” Mrs. Richter took the spoon from Sophie and finished getting her potatoes. “And you, young lady, quit playing with your food and eat it.”
“Please. She has a mouth like a sailor,” Vince chuckled. “Wouldn’t you say so, Sailor Jesse?”
Jesse rolled his eyes as both his other two sisters giggled at the other end of the table. Dinner with the Richters was a much bigger production than at my house. It was just me, my parents, and my brother at home, which meant if there was squabbling, it was just between me and Damien and then it died down. But with the Richters, squabbling between two Richters often times led to others, like a domino effect, until all of them were involved in one way or another.
“Now, settle down!” Mr. Richter bellowed over everyone. “We have a guest tonight.”<
br />
“Oh, Charlie, did you let your mother know you were here?”
“Yes, Mrs. Richter. I talked to her already.” It was hard to talk to her, too, without telling her what was going on. But I didn’t want to worry my mom when I knew it was Brent I had to deal with. At least now she’d think I was just staying over with a boy, and not hiding anything serious.
“Good. Did you tell her y’all are welcome on Christmas Day, too?”
“I did. She’s very grateful she doesn’t have to cook. But she did say she’d be willing to help with the dishes, if you want.”
“That’s why I had boys, honey. She can come and just keep me company. All of you can.” She smiled warmly, which defrosted the fear inside my heart, which was just festering since what happened with Smith. “Oh, and it’s Georgia, honey. I keep telling you that.”
“Sorry, ma’am.”
I couldn’t resist a smile when Georgia turned a playful glare on me. She pointed that spoon at me, large chunks of potato still attached. “Watch it, young lady.” I grinned. She looked at Jesse. “This one’s trouble.”
Jesse nodded. “She sure is.”
“Hey!” I smacked his arm. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“Uh-oh, already having to choose between the girlfriend and the mother.” Vince laughed. “You’re dead meat, Jesse.”
Girlfriend? I blinked and felt my cheeks warm. Was that what I was? What Jesse described me as? I glanced to him and found him with an equally red blush on his cheeks.
Dinner continued on like that. The twin girls, Melanie and Ivy, took off as soon as they’d finished, with plans to meet up with friends at the movies. It was Friday, so Georgia agreed to it. Sophie was, of course, indignant that she couldn’t go with her older sisters, but was quickly distracted by Vince asking her to come help him with the car. I wasn’t sure what they were doing with the car, but it was obviously very important to Sophie. That left me and Jesse there with his parents and Coby, Jesse’s younger brother.
“Jacob’s thinking about going into the military, Jesse. Want to talk to him about that?” Fred Richter asked. The pointed way he asked the question suggested that he wanted Jesse to do more than talk to him about that, and it wasn’t optional.
“Dad!” Coby complained. “It’s not for sure.”
Fred shrugged. “Doesn’t hurt to get the information. Your brother has it.”
“What branch are you thinking?” Jesse asked, with much patience. He’d obviously had experience with these types of conversation starters.
“I dunno. Marines, maybe?”
“I think you should get him into SEAL school,” Georgia piped up.
“Mom, that’s not how it works,” Jesse replied easily. He was so good with his family. Infinite patience. I wondered if that was a skill that he learned during his SEAL training, or if it was a product of growing up in a household of six children.
“It should,” she said, almost like she was annoyed. “If you think he can do it, that should be enough for them.”
Jesse cleared his throat. “Well, Marines are a good bunch too. They work hard, though.”
“I could do it,” Coby offered. I wasn’t sure of the family dynamic, but I got the impression that Coby wasn’t interested in being like his brother. In my experience, Coby was just as independent as his brothers.
“I’m sure you could.” Jesse replied. “Are you done, Chuckles?”
The pointed stare at me almost made me laugh. He was trying to escape. I smiled and took another bite of my meal, chewing slowly. He glared at me and then turned back to his parents. “Look, I’m not sure I’m the best to answer military questions. I knew what I was doing early enough that I didn’t even look at the other branches. You know that.”
“But you know the military,” his mother pointed out. “I don’t see the harm in answering a few questions.”
“Would you excuse Charlie and me?” Jesse pushed back the chair, the irritation on full throttle. “We’re going to go upstairs for a bit.”
“Jesse—”
Jesse and his mother locked eyes in some kind of unspoken battle of wills, neither willing to budge. Finally, Jesse’s expression hardened and he stood up. “We’re done, Mom. Thanks for a delicious meal.”
He held out his hand for me. “Ready?”
I nodded. “Yes, I suppose I am.” I took Jesse’s offered hand as I stood. “Thank you. Dinner was amazing.”
“Oh, Charlie?” I glanced at Georgia. “You be careful, hon.”
“I will, Mrs—Uh, Georgia.” I corrected myself when I saw her eyebrow raise. She grinned, wide, which just reminded me so much of her son.
“We’ll see you for Christmas?”
“What?”
“Christmas? The day after tomorrow?” She said. “I know your mama don’t like cooking so much on Christmas. Y’all are more than welcome to come here. We have enough to feed the entire United States military…” She paused. “Well, maybe not the Army. But definitely the Navy.”
“Mom will love that,” I told her and then Jesse dragged me away from the table and back up the stairs. I heard giggles behind us, which I assumed was now his family mocking him for having a girl in his room.
*
Jesse
I shut the door behind Charlie, who was quiet as she came back in. I couldn’t tell if she was upset. I was a little. Not any more than normal with my family.
“Sorry,” I said, as she sat on the bed.
“Nothing to sorry for,” she replied. “Your family is great.” Her voice was a little shaky.
“Are you alright?”
She nodded, but didn’t say anything.
There was another knock on the door.
“Yeah?” I called to the door, irritated.
“Mom said to come downstairs for a minute,” Vince said through the door.
“Why?”
“How the fuck would I know? Just go,” Vince said. His footsteps receded.
I sighed and turned to face Charlie. “I should go see what she wants.”
She nodded. “Yeah. I’m… I’m going to call my mom and let her know I’m not coming home… unless, you think I should?”
“Should what?”
“Go home.”
“Why would you do that?”
“I was just thinking—”
“That’s your problem, Chuckles.” I stepped over to her and lifted her chin. I smiled and gently touched her lips with mine. “You think too much. I’ll be right back.”
When I came down the stairs, the family was already in post-dinner mode. Vince was already doing the dishes in the kitchen while Coby was cleaning the stove. Melanie was drying the pots and pans and Ivy was loading the dishwasher with the dinner plates.
Only Sophie was running around with nothing to do, which stopped really quick when Dad scooped her up in a fireman’s carry. “Time for a bath, munchkin.”
Sophie made some complaints as he carried her up the stairs. I smiled. I missed this. Lucky Thirteen was as much my family as my real one was, but they didn’t have this… easy-going, fun atmosphere. While I would trust every one of them with my life, they weren’t these people, the ones who had overlooked any flaw I had and loved me anyway. They weren’t crazy and homey.
“She’s worse than you and your brothers were with that bath thing,” Mom said, looking up the stairs at where her husband and daughter had gone. “I think having three brothers affected her more than having two sisters did. Did not see that coming at all.”
Guilt shamed me into silence. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around, Ma.” As much as I missed my family, I was all too aware of why I hadn’t been around. It wasn’t the whispers or the gossip that got to me. As far as I knew, there wasn’t any. But Jane’s death had been a low point in our town, one not easily forgotten, especially by me. That was why I had tried to not be there. If I wasn’t there, I could pretend it never happened.
One corner of her mouth lifted half-heartedly. “You’ve been
busy.”
“I couldn’t come here. I wasn’t… I had to…” The words were failing me. How did I explain this?
“I know,” she said, patting my upper arm. “But Jane wouldn’t have wanted to be the reason why you didn’t come home, either.”
“I know that, Ma. I wasn’t ready to face this town.”
“And you are now?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Sit,” she said, pulling me to the couch. I let her, obediently sinking to the couch with her. She faced me, her face serious. “I know you blame yourself for her death.”
“She was coming to see me.”
“She had no business doing so when she’d been drinking.”
“We had a fight that day. I found the pills she was using. I didn’t take them away from her.” I could see that night so clearly. The look on my parents’ faces when they told me what happened. The way the car was wrapped around the tree when I’d gotten to the scene.
Ma squeezed my hand tightly. “It isn’t your fault. She shouldn’t have been behind a wheel at all.” Mom sighed and met my eyes. “Is this why you’ve never been in a relationship with another girl?”
“What? Mom!”
“I’m serious. You’re twenty-one years old and you’ve had one girlfriend that I know of. It’s not healthy.”
“Maybe there’s not anyone else for me.”
“Liar. You’re just being a chicken.”
If it had been anyone but Mom, I’d have gotten right up in their face for that remark. But Mom always struck a chord. There was always a sliver of truth in what she said to us. And the truth was, I was afraid. Jane and I had been close. We’d had this intimacy you just didn’t find anywhere else. Sure, we’d had sex, but it was always friendship before romance with her. Funnily enough, I felt the same way around Charlie, except with her, it was so much more intense. I wanted her so much, all the time.
“I see you can’t deny it,” Mom said, obviously proud of herself.
“There could be someone. I think I screwed it up, though.”