"And what about Sgaire? The man from Clan MacRaild, who's helping you?" Lila asked, ice filling her veins. "Did you kill him too?”
"He served his purpose and guided me here from Tairseach. He was a traitorous rat, willing tae turn on his clan for sweet words and a night in my bed. I did a service tae his clan by ending his life," Malmuira said, and this time there was no regret in her stormy eyes.
"Don't you see what you're doing? By trying to prevent what will happen, you're causing more pain and destruction, more death.. You have to stop!" Lila cried. "Don't make me have to kill you!"
Although there were tears in her eyes, Malmuira gave her a look of angry defiance. Lila felt another stab of pity for Malmuira; she had allowed her grief and rage to consume her.
"I'll never stop," Malmuira vowed. "Never. I will prevent that massacre. I must!”
Lila closed her eyes, expelling a breath. She'd tried to offer her mercy. Now she would do what she must.
Her hands trembling, she raised them to issue the Killing spell, but before she could open her mouth, Malmuira vanished before her eyes.
Panic tore through Lila, she stared at the spot Malmuira had just occupied in horror as the door flew open and Coira rushed in.
"I heard her in here—I tried tae get in, but she did something tae the door. I couldnae enter," Coira said, hurrying forward and helping Lila to her feet. "Did she harm ye?"
"No," Lila replied, frustration swelling. Because of her, Malmuira had escaped. "I injured her and gave her a chance to stop. When she refused, I was on the verge of killing her, but she vanished. I shouldn't have shown her mercy."
"Mercy is the way of the stiuireadh," Coira said, giving her hands a reassuring squeeze. "You did what any good witch would do."
Lila removed her hands from Coira's and moved toward the door; now was not the time for regret and reassurances. Panic constricted her throat, making it hard to breathe. Gawen was at the castle. If Malmuira harmed him . . .
"We need to get to the castle—now," Lila said, her voice quavering with fear. "Malmuira knows Ysenda isn't here."
Coira nodded her agreement, and together they hurried out of the house, freezing at the sight that greeted them when they arrived outside.
The three guards all lay dead.
Fury and nausea washed over Lila at the sight, and she swayed on her feet. She had been a fool to show Malmuira mercy.
"There was nothing ye could have done," Coira said, taking in the look of guilt on her face.
But the guilt remained as Coira took both of her hands in her own, murmuring the words of the Transport spell that took them to Carraig Castle.
* * *
“Lila!”
Gawen rushed into the great hall where the guards had ushered both her and Coira, his face pale with both terror and relief as he strode toward her, enfolding her in his arms. She clung to him, her heart pounding in tandem with his, before he pulled back.
“Did Malmuira harm ye?"
"No. I injured her before she vanished. Gawen, she glamoured herself to look like Mysie, my personal maid. She was under my nose the whole time."
Anger at herself rose within her gut, and she swallowed hard. How could she not have known?
Gawen gave her shoulders a comforting squeeze, even as his features went even more pale.
"Ye couldnae have kent; she fooled us all. But Mysie has been at my castle for years; I thought Malmuira only arrived recently."
"She did—she killed the real Mysie and used a Transformational spell to take on her likeness," Lila whispered, a chill spreading throughout her body at the thought. "And—she told me she killed Sgaire."
Gawen stiffened, closing his eyes before turning to bark an order to a hovering guard.
"Go tae the servants’ quarters and see if ye can find Mysie. And send Sgaire's brother tae the castle."
The guard nodded and scrambled away as Gawen returned his focus to her.
“Now she knows Ysenda isn’t at her home," Lila continued, her voice filling with panic. "It won’t be long before Malmuira heals herself and comes for her. We have to get Ysenda away from here.”
“There’s a small uninhabited island off of the north coast—my father and uncles used it as a fishing spot. There’s a large cottage on the island; we can take Ysenda there.”
As Lila nodded her agreement, he gently cupped her face.
"Wait for me in my chamber," he said. "I need tae make arrangements for our departure tae the island at first light."
"Ye need tae tell him ye're with child," Coira urged her in a low voice moments later, as they made their way out of the great hall. Coira was coming with them to the island tomorrow to assist Lila with the spells she needed to perform and was staying in one of the castle's guest chambers.
"I—I will," Lila said, nervousness squeezing her chest.
Once she entered Gawen's chamber, she paced restlessly back and forth. She'd just faced off with the powerful, dark witch she'd been seeking since arriving here, yet she was more anxious about telling Gawen she was pregnant. Would he be upset? Annoyed? Or dare she even hope . . . happy?
She ended up waiting for what seemed like hours, a multitude of his potential reactions playing over and over again in her mind. She whirled, her heart leaping into her throat when he finally entered. Worry and fatigue haunted his handsome features, and he raked his hand through his already tousled hair.
“I apologize for my delay. There was much tae organize for our departure on the morrow," he said as he approached her. “I should have been with ye tonight," he continued, his eyes shadowing. "I had tae stay here tae reassure panicked nobles. And Struan returned, drunken and angry, determined tae murder his cousin over Ysenda. But that's all handled now, and I’m nae leaving yer side, Lila.”
“Malmuira would have killed you if you were with me,” Lila said, grief sweeping over her at the thought.
“Had it kept ye safe, I would have given up my life,” he vowed.
Tears sprang to her eyes. Again, his words weren't a vow of love, but she clung to them like a lifeline. Perhaps he wouldn't be upset over the news that she was with child. Perhaps he would ask her to stay with him, to be his wife after she defeated Malmuira.
Her anxiety faded at the hopeful thoughts, and she stepped forward to take his hands.
"Gawen . . . I need to tell you something," she said, holding his gaze, allowing a tentative smile to curve her lips. "I'm with child."
Chapter 24
As Lila’s words settled in, Gawen stared at her, a torrent of emotions seizing him: shock, joy, fear. Lila was watching him closely, her lovely blue eyes shadowed with anxiety. Of all the swirling emotions that filled him, joy remained, a powerful, all-consuming joy that held him firmly in its grip. He wanted to smile, to pull her into his arms and kiss her, to ask her to be his wife. To be his.
But then the fear settled in. She was a witch from another time, on the verge of going to battle with another powerful witch who’d already tried to kill her. And childbirth was perilously dangerous in this time. He knew of several women who’d died giving birth. His fear rose, chasing away the joy. At least in her own time, she would be safe—and alive. During one of their talks, Lila had told him that modern healers had better medicines to save lives; even childbirth was safer.
“Are ye certain?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said, giving him another tentative smile. “Coira helped me confirm.”
That joy sprang to life once more, but he tempered it.
“Then ye cannae face Malmuira again. I’ll send for another stiuireadh and send ye back. Can ye travel from anywhere or do ye need tae go back tae the grove I found ye in?”
Lila’s eyes went wide, and she stumbled back as if he’d slapped her. Her eyes filled with tears, and pain tore at his heart, but he made himself hold firm. Keeping her safe and alive was paramount now that she was with child.
“I’m not going back until I defeat Malmuira,” Lila snapped. “That hasn’t cha
nged.”
“Ye have more than yerself tae think about now,” he growled. “’Tis nae safe for the bairn and ye tae—"
“Witches are made to perform magic, I’ve been performing spells this whole time. None will hurt the baby, especially this early in the pregnancy. And what if this other stiuireadh you send for doesn’t arrive in time? I’m not leaving Ysenda, another pregnant woman, to face a murderous witch who wants to kill her.”
“She already nearly killed ye!” he roared, panic washing over him. “Ye are nae tae stay here, Lila.”
She again flinched as if he’d slapped her, but she raised defiant blue eyes to his.
“I’m not going anywhere yet,” she repeated. “I will finish this, and you can’t stop me. After I defeat the witch, then—then I’ll do as you wish and return to my time. I only wanted you to know.”
“I only want ye tae go for yer and the bairn's safety. And ye must ken how dangerous childbirth is in this time.”
“Fine. You’ve made yourself clear, Gawen,” she said. Though her voice was hard with anger, there was no mistaking the hurt in her eyes. “You don’t want me to stay. I’ll go, but only after I defeat Malmuira."
She stormed out of his chamber before he could protest. He wanted to tell her that he did want her, and the bairn, more than anything he’d ever wanted in his life. Yet he couldn’t risk losing them both; he would never recover from such a loss.
And now, in the fraught silence Lila had left behind in her wake, he knew why. He loved Lila, his witch from another time. Perhaps he’d loved her since the moment he laid eyes on her in that grove, flushed and wide-eyed and lovely, but he'd tucked it away beneath his overwhelming desire. He loved her, and the best way for him to honor that love, to keep her safe—was to let her go.
* * *
“I’ve never kent ye tae be a fool,” Aonghus snapped.
Gawen glared at him. It was the next morning, and after a sleepless night aching for Lila, torn between fear and joy over her pregnancy, he’d awoken and dressed, meeting Aonghus in his study to prepare for the day’s journey to the offshore island. He’d told Aonghus about Lila’s pregnancy and his determination to send her away; he’d assumed his friend would agree with him.
“Ye’re speaking tae yer laird,” Gawen bit out. He rarely used his status over Aonghus, but he would have said anything to stop Aonghus from looking at him as if he were the enemy.
“Right now, I’m speaking tae my friend,” Aonghus returned, unfazed. “That lass loves ye; anyone with two eyes can see it. Ye’ve been sleepwalking through yer life since yer family died, and here comes yer first chance at happiness, at a family of yer own, and ye tell her tae leave. So, aye, Laird MacRaild. Ye’re a fool.”
“’Tis nae safe for her during this time,” Gawen snapped. “I cannae risk losing her!”
“There is no certainty in anything. I ken how much losing yer family broke ye, but ye cannae let that loss determine the rest of yer life. Do ye think yer family would want ye tae isolate yerself and nae live? They’d want ye tae live, with the lass ye love and yer bairn.”
Aonghus gave him one last glare before turning to leave the study, leaving a shaking Gawen in his wake.
Aonghus’s words remained in his mind as he and a small group, that included Lila, Coira, Ysenda, Kudan, and the group of men who would act as their guards, departed from the castle, making their way north to where a small fishing boat would take them to the offshore island.
Lila didn’t spare a single glance at him during the journey, staying close to Coira, who continually shot him looks of concern.
As their boat departed, he gazed out at the churning sea, imagining Lila living in this time, marrying him and giving birth to his bairn, to a whole host of bairns. A brood of sons and daughters who had her lovely blue eyes.
But this vision of her was paired with that ever-present grief, that blooming fear that kept him captive. What if she didn’t survive childbirth? What if Malmuira killed her? What if another plague came to Skye and took her away from him?
He forced the terrifying thoughts away as the boat drew close to the tiny island, rocking violently over the churning waves. Instinct drew him to Lila’s side, and he reached out to hold her as she gripped the side of the boat, her face tight with queasiness.
“Are ye unwell?” he asked in a low voice.
“I don’t think your son likes sea travel,” Lila whispered, clutching her abdomen. His heart lurched, that unfathomable joy seizing him.
“Ye . . . ye ken ’tis a boy?”
“Just a feeling I have,” Lila said shortly, still not looking at him.
Gawen gazed down at her lovely, pale features, torn between that dueling joy and fear, imagining the child who would become his son, and a fierce, possessive pride seized him.
He reluctantly left her side to help his men pull the boat ashore, and they made their way to the lone fishing cottage on the island. It was sizable for a fishing cottage, but there wasn’t enough room for everyone to sleep inside. His men and Kudan left the two bedrooms for the women to sleep in while they camped outside the cottage.
While Lila and Coira disappeared into one room and Ysenda into the other, Gawen worked alongside his men, placing them in various spots around the island to patrol the shores for Malmuira's appearance.
He spent the rest of the day patrolling the island with his men, catching glimpses of Lila from a distance as he did so. She and Coira would either work in the kitchen to prepare drafts for Lila’s spells, or Lila would perform Protective spells on the outskirts of the cottage. Though Lila was in the early stages of her pregnancy, he could already see the telltale signs, given how well he knew her body—the slight enlargement of her breasts, the iridescent glow of her skin. Pregnancy suited her, making her even more bonnie, and another surge of possessive pride swelled over him; Lila was carrying his bairn.
Lila caught him staring at her a few times, a pretty flush staining her cheeks, as if she’d gleaned what he was thinking, before quickly looking away again.
They all ate dinner in the main room of the cottage, a meal of bread paired with ale they’d brought from the castle, along with roasted fish that two of his men had caught earlier in the day. Kudan and one of his guards sat at his side; Lila, Coira and Ysenda sat at the far end of the table, with Lila still not looking at him. Her continual avoidance caused a spiral of pain to tear through him; he could only imagine his anguish when she was back in her own time.
“I want tae apologize,” Kudan said in a low voice, pulling him from his painful thoughts. “I’m the reason the dark witch is here on these lands.”
Kudan lowered his gaze, shame flickering across his face. There was a time when Gawen would have scolded him for taking another man’s wife. But he now knew what it was like to long for a forbidden lass.
“Ye love her, aye?” he asked.
“Aye,” Kudan said, tenderness filling his eyes as he gazed at Ysenda. “I was devastated when her father married her off tae my cousin. I tried tae stay away. Ye have tae understand, my laird; it was more than lust. She’s become like the air I breathe.”
Gawen thought of Lila, her laughter, her dancing, blue eyes. He knew exactly how Kudan felt. He reached out to clamp him on the shoulder.
“There’s no need for yer apology,” he said. “The only one responsible for what has happened on these lands is Malmuira.”
Kudan gave him a grateful smile. Gawen felt Lila’s eyes on him and turned, giving her a tentative smile. Her eyes hardened before she turned her attention back to Coira, causing his chest to tighten. But he couldn’t blame her for her anger.
After the meal, he made his way out to the cliff’s edge, looking out over the churning sea and the darkening sky. He thought again of Aonghus’s words, of what his family would have wanted. His fear rose at the thought of losing Lila, but he stymied it, focusing instead on his love for her. Love was the opposite of grief; grief was a coldness, a barren emptiness.
Love was w
armth and joy, a joy he’d felt only since she’d come into his life. Lila was the woman who’d appeared out of thin air and landed right in his arms, as if fate itself was telling him that was where she belonged. She was the woman who looked at the world of this time in wonder, who didn’t see danger but opportunity. She was the woman who used her magic not for selfish means, but to help others, who, at this very moment, was risking her own life for the sake of another’s. She was the woman who would give birth to his bairn.
The woman he loved more than his own life.
The tension ebbed from his shoulders. Once again, Aonghus was right. He had been a fool to allow his fear and grief to rule him. Now was the time to shed the grief that had been his companion for so long, to set his fear from the past aside and live in the present with the woman he loved at his side and their bairn—if she would still have him.
When he entered the cottage, Coira ushered him inside the room she shared with Lila, a knowing smile curving her lips.
“I’m happy tae sleep in the main room by the fireplace. I’ve plenty of blankets,” Coira whispered, leaving the room before he could reply.
Lila was already asleep, curled up in a ball on the narrow bed, her hand resting protectively on her belly. A fierce love and protectiveness washed over him at the sight of her. Lila was his: his family. His home.
He curled up around her in the bed, holding her close, hoping that when she awoke, she accepted his apology, his confession of love—and his proposal of marriage.
Chapter 25
Lila fell asleep with a heavy heart, aching for Gawen and heartbroken over him wanting to send her away. When she stirred awake just past dawn the next morning, surprise roiled through her; Gawen lay in bed next to her, curled around her body. Her heart lurched as she looked down at his handsome form.
Gawen's Claim: Highlander Fate, Lairds of the Isles Book One Page 14