“I love you,” she whispered into the silence, not caring that it made her a fool to love a man who was so determined to send her away.
Lila wanted nothing more than to curl back up around him, but she made herself get up, dressing in her loose, dark-green gown and draping a plaid cloak around herself before heading out. She wanted to surround the cottage with even more Protective and Cloaking spells and prepare herself for Malmuira’s arrival, which she feared would be sooner rather than later.
She thought that everyone would still be asleep, but Coira was up and milling about, having made herself at home in the minuscule area by the fireplace that served as a makeshift kitchen.
“Lila, have some bread,” Coira urged.
“I should get started with my spells. I won’t be long,” Lila promised, giving her a polite smile before leaving the cottage.
She knew Coira meant well, but she’d only try to persuade her to talk to Gawen. Coira had been urging her to talk to him since they’d arrived on the island. She figured it was Coira who’d let Gawen into their room last night. But Coira didn’t seem to understand that Gawen had explicitly told her he wanted her—and their baby—to leave this time.
Anguish squeezed her chest at the thought, but she ignored the pain as she stepped out into the brisk morning air, determined to fill her mind with spells instead of her heartbreak over Gawen.
After she murmured several Cloaking spells to safeguard the cottage and the still-sleeping Ysenda inside, she tucked her cloak around her body to ward off the early morning chill as she ventured away from the cottage, making her way the small distance along the jagged cliffs until she was out of sight of the cottage. She took in a deep breath, inhaling the damp morning air that smelled of the sea. Coira had prepared her a draft made of terrible-smelling herbs the day before, but it had helped ease her nausea. She almost felt like her pre-pregnant self again.
Lila took in another draw of air, her gaze sweeping over the stunning surroundings. Despite the dire circumstances, it was hard not to admire the island’s natural beauty, with its rugged green and brown terrain, the jagged cliffs that plunged into the roaring sea below, the dramatic deep blue sky illuminated by the rising sun.
She moved toward the cliff’s edge, taking care to keep a good fifty feet between herself and the very edge which led to a terrifying sheer drop to the sea. There was something oddly familiar about the view, and she took it in for a long moment before lifting up her arms to recite a Defensive spell, one which could help shield her from a magical attack. She closed her eyes as she felt her magic respond to the command of her spell, relishing in the electrical sensation of her power. This was what she was born to do, and despite her setbacks, she allowed herself to take pride in what she had accomplished—identifying Ysenda as the target, wounding Malmuira and buying them more time, arriving safely in this time. She vowed to never let self-doubt cripple her again. Going forward she would relish in the strength she possessed, the power she would pass on to her child. She would teach him—and she had a strong feeling the baby was a boy—to never take his power for granted, to always use his ability as a force for good in this world, a force for love.
Lila’s smile froze on her face, her body filling with dread as she sensed a presence behind her. She knew with a dawning horror exactly who it was.
Fear coiled around her spine; how had Malmuira found them so quickly? She thought she’d have more time to prepare.
Lila turned, facing Malmuira. There was no dark triumph in Malmuira’s eyes, only a dazed surprise as she stared at Lila’s belly. Malmuira shouted a Binding spell before Lila could react, rendering her immobile.
“Ye’re with child. I didnae detect it before,” Malmuira breathed, as Lila’s blood pounded in her ears with panic. “’Tis the only reason I didnae kill ye when yer back was turned.”
Disbelief struck Lila. Malmuira was determined to kill Ysenda—another pregnant woman—yet she would spare her?
“Show Ysenda the same mercy,” Lila pleaded. She silently issued the spell she’d used to undo the Binding spell before, but this time it didn’t take hold, and she remained frozen in place.
The fury returned to Malmuira’s eyes as she advanced toward Lila.
“I cannae. Do ye ken I was with child as well? Before the massacre.”
Lila blinked, surprise rising beneath her fear and panic.
“What happened?”
She needed to keep Malmuira talking, needed to figure out how to reverse the Binding spell she was under. As soon as she had the chance, she would issue the Killing spell; she’d already attempted to show Malmuira mercy. Never again.
“I was newly married tae my love, Rodric; I’d loved him my whole life, since I was a wee lass. He was excited tae meet his bairn, his son.” Malmuira’s voice broke as she stepped closer. Lila’s panic swelled at her growing proximity; she had to act quickly. “He and other clan nobles attended the feast hosted by a rival clan under the pretense of peace. Our clans had been warring for generations, he wanted it tae end. He wanted peace for me and our bairn—for our family. But the men who invited them tae feast slaughtered him and the others—slitting their throats from ear to ear. I kent exactly when it happened. I awoke with a sharp pain on my neck.”
Malmuira’s tears were streaming freely now, and beneath Lila’s terror, empathy rose. She couldn’t imagine losing Gawen in such a brutal way.
“Nae long after his murder, I lost my bairn. My son—our son.” Her hand went to her flat belly, fury flashing in her eyes. “I lost everything during that massacre. I have tae stop what is tae come. Ysenda’s bairn will give rise tae the events which will come tae pass. She and the bairn must die.”
“You know the rules of our kind!” Lila cried. It was no use trying to reason with Malmuira, she was beyond reason. But Lila needed more time to figure out how to counter Malmuira’s Binding spell. “There are some events that cannot be changed, no matter how it affects us. The massacre is one of them.”
“Would ye nae do everything in yer power tae stop the murder of yer love? The loss of yer bairn?” Malmuira challenged.
Grief constricted Lila’s chest at the thought of losing Gawen and her unborn child. She would want to stop it, but she could never resort to what Malmuira had become—she would never resort to murder.
“I wouldn’t murder innocent people to stop it!” Lila shouted, her desperation rising. “Malmuira, you don’t have to—"
“Enough!” Malmuira snarled. “I ken what ye’re doing, but ye willnae stop me. Because ye are with child, I’ll give ye a choice. Ye tried tae show me mercy; I’ll show ye mercy in kind. Return tae yer time—never return here—and I willnae kill ye.”
Lila opened her mouth to protest, but fear coiled around her spine as she saw Gawen, Coira, and his men race toward them. Malmuira sensed their presence, whirling to face them.
“No!” Lila screamed, as Malmuira hurled a spell toward them, sending them all flying dozens of feet backward; they all went still under her Binding spell. But somehow, Gawen evaded her spell, charging forward, his sword withdrawn, expression fierce.
“Gawen!” Lila screamed. “No—"
Malmuira raised her hand, and Gawen halted under the force of her Binding spell. Malmuira studied him with narrowed eyes as rising terror clawed at Lila’s heart.
“Please—this is between us,” Lila said desperately, trying to get Malmuira’s focus back on her.
“This is the father of yer child, I can sense it. Laird MacRaild,” Malmuira said, cocking her head to the side. With her petite frame and shrewd gray eyes, she looked like a curious—yet deadly—bird.
“Malmuira, please! Leave him alone. This isn’t about him!” Lila screamed.
“If he died in front of ye, ye’ll understand my grief. My pain,” Malmuira said. Her voice was low, but even over her thundering heartbeat and the roar of the surrounding sea, Lila could hear every word.
“Malmuira—" Lila pleaded, her voice breaking.
&
nbsp; “Ye can kill me,” Gawen said, his own voice steady, keeping his eyes trained on Malmuira
“Gawen—no!”
Terror ripped through her. She silently issued three spells in succession, but none of them released the Binding spell’s hold. Malmuira must have used a Binding spell Lila wasn’t familiar with, one she couldn’t counter.
“All I ask is for ye tae let Lila go,” Gawen continued, ignoring Lila as he kept his focus on Malmuira. “Let her return tae her time, where she’ll be safe and can give birth tae my bairn. ’Tis all I want. I—I understand ye, Malmuira. I was like ye once. I lost my entire family tae illness. I begged the stiuireadh to change what happened, and if I had yer power, I would have gone back in time myself tae prevent their deaths. I ken grief. I ken loss.”
Malmuira’s face crumpled, but she kept her hand outstretched toward him, on the verge of issuing a spell. Helplessness paired with terror had taken hold of Lila, holding her as captive as Malmuira’s spell. She couldn’t let Gawen die. She couldn’t bear it.
“But . . . what I’ve come tae learn is that loss is a part of life. We all lose; we all love; we all grieve. ’Tis part of life’s cycle. What we can do is move on from the loss, from the pain. Tae never forget who we’ve lost as we open up our hearts again. ’Tis the beauty of life. The magic of love.” His green eyes filled with tears and strayed briefly toward Lila. “I was barely living before she came intae my life. I had become so consumed with grief I forgot how tae truly live. But Lila, the lass I love more than my own life, changed that for me. She made me see past the grief. I hope that ye can as well. If ye cannae, all I ask is that ye spare Lila—and Ysenda. If ye need someone tae take out your rage and grief on, take my life.”
“Gawen—no!” Lila screamed. “Malmuira, don’t listen to him. This is between us, the stiuireadh. Gawen has nothing to do with this!”
Malmuira remained still, her eyes still trained on Gawen. His words must have affected her on some level, because she was shaking, and Lila saw a glimpse of the young woman she must have been before she’d let grief and fury consume her, the young woman who'd been happy and in love, the young woman who'd lost everything in one violent act.
For a fleeting moment Lila hoped that Gawen’s words would penetrate, but Malmuira shook her head, her expression hardening once more.
“I’ve come tae far tae stop now. I willnae just live with my loss—I want back what was taken from me! And I will have it—I will have my husband and my bairn. I was going tae grant yer witch mercy and allow her tae return tae her time, but ye both are standing in my way.”
When Malmuira again raised her hand, Lila knew that she would kill Gawen. And it was this terrible certainty that caused a powerful surge to course through her body, as if her magic had picked up on her fear for Gawen, her all-encompassing love. Recalling every single Offensive spell she’d practiced and committed to memory, she threw every ounce of her power into the spells as she shouted several of them at once.
The Binding spell that held her immobile released her from its hold, and as Malmuira opened her mouth to direct the Killing spell at Gawen, Lila darted forward, hurling herself at Malmuira.
Malmuira whirled just as Lila charged forward, raising her hand, and their spells collided, striking them both with such force that they both plunged backward and over the sheer drop of the cliff.
In the terrifying few seconds it took for Lila to realize she was plunging over the edge, she realized why the view had seemed so familiar. She’d seen this cliff and the sheer drop to the sea in the nightmare she’d had before arriving in this time. It was as if this moment—her death—was meant to happen.
At this knowledge, a terrible grief seared her. She would never see Gawen again , never tell him that she loved him, never give birth to the child she already loved so much.
It was the last thought she had before blackness claimed her.
Chapter 26
Panic tore through Gawen as he saw Lila plunge over the edge of the cliff. He moved faster than he thought possible, reaching the edge just as Lila plummeted downward, catching her hands and pulling her away from the edge. Below, Malmuira continue to fall until she collided with the rocky shore below, going still as her body let out a sickening crack.
But Gawen’s focus was on Lila, his throat constricting with grief. Her eyes were closed, her breathing painfully shallow.
“Lila,” he whispered, rocking her in his arms. “Stay with me, my love. I love ye. I love ye so. Both of ye. Please.”
He heard Coira and his men approach, now released from Malmuira’s spell, but his whole world was the woman in his arms, the woman he would never let go of again.
* * *
“Gawen.”
Aonghus’s hand came to rest on his shoulder. Gawen didn’t react, his eyes trained on Lila’s sleeping form, his hand gripping her limp one.
It was two days later and Lila still hadn’t regained consciousness. Coira had told him the powerful spells she’d performed had taken a toll on her, and she was now in a “coma”. In this time, the term was “false sleep.” Coira and the healer had ensured him that the bairn was fine, and Lila would be as well, it was just a matter of drawing her out of the coma.
Still, fear gripped him. He’d had an uncle who’d fallen into a false sleep after a hunting accident; he'd never awoken. Gawen hadn’t left Lila’s side, sleeping in the uncomfortable chair next to her bed, forcing himself to eat meals a servant brought in.
He’d learned from Aonghus that Mysie’s body had been found in a nearby forest grove. No one knew where Malmuira had killed and buried Sgaire, his body’s whereabouts remained unknown.
As for Malmuira, his men had fetched her body, burying her in an unmarked grave by the old cemetery. Rage burned in his gut at the thought of the dark witch who’d killed innocents on his lands, who’d harmed his Lila. If Lila hadn’t killed her, he would have ended her himself.
“Ye havenae eaten today,” Aonghus said now, tearing Gawen from his dark thoughts, his voice heavy with concern.
“I’ve no hunger,” Gawen replied, still not taking his eyes off the woman he loved. “Leave me.”
Aonghus expelled a sigh; Gawen heard him leave, only to return a few moments later with a tray full of bread, stew, and ale, setting it down on the table next to Lila’s bed. Gawen still didn’t move, nor tear his eyes away from Lila.
“Ye were right,” Gawen murmured, regret constricting his heart. “I was a fool tae push her away. As soon as she told me she was with child, I should have told her how much I loved her. I just—I feared losing her so. But there was no purpose tae avoid telling her how I felt. I may still lose her.”
His voice broke, but Aonghus again reached out to grip his shoulder.
“Ye willnae. Yer Lila is strong. She defeated Malmuira; she just needs time tae heal.”
Gawen took a shuddering breath, trying to heed his words. Lila’s plight was what he’d feared since the moment he realized he had feelings for her, that he would be at her bedside as she fought for her life, just as he’d sat at his family’s bedsides. He tightened his grip on her hand, as if that could prevent her from drifting away.
Lila is strong. She will come back tae ye. She must.
Aonghus remained at his side, but to Gawen’s relief he didn’t talk to him, allowing him to silently hold vigil over his Lila. He recalled her delight at their night picnic, her amusement at his mispronunciation of modern terms, her laughter as she teased him, her eyes trained on his as she lay curled up in bed next to him. He ached to see those blue eyes again, filled with life and laughter and hope. When she awoke, and she would—she had to—he’d take her on an abundance of picnics. An abundance of “dates.” He would worship and love her and their bairn for the rest of his days.
Aonghus soon left, and Gawen didn’t realize he’d nodded off until he felt a presence in the room behind him.
He turned. A tall, dark-haired woman stood there. He didn’t know how, but he sensed she was a sti
uireadh. He stumbled to his feet, waiting for the anger and resentment that usually struck him at the sight of a stiuireadh, but none came. He could no longer resent the stiuireadh, not when the love of his life was one of them.
The woman was looking past him at Lila, worry flickering across her face.
“Who are ye?” he demanded. “How did ye get past the guards?”
“I’m Siobhan,” she said, unperturbed by his sharp tone, moving to stand by Lila’s bedside. “Lila’s coven leader.”
His tension ebbed. Siobhan, the stiuireadh who’d sent him the letter informing him of Lila’s arrival.
“Coira sent me a letter. Even if she hadn’t, I detected Malmuira’s death. The anomaly is gone, the flow of time restored. Lila achieved what she came here to do.”
She gave Lila a look of pride, before concern replaced it. She closed her eyes, and he watched, tense, as she held her hands above Lila.
“What—what are ye doing?”
She ignored him, murmuring a spell beneath her breath. After a few moments, she lowered her hands. Her worried expression had vanished; she looked up at him with a smile.
“She will heal, and your unborn child is well, but you are the one who must draw her out of her coma.”
“How?” he rasped. “I’ll do anything.”
“Talk to her. About anything. Just your voice, and her love for you, will guide her to you,” Siobhan said. “I’ve contacted her family; they’ll be arriving here soon. Their presence will help, but it’s you who will help her most of all.”
“More than her family?”
“Yes,” Siobhan said, moving around the bed to approach him. “I’m not one of the matchmaking stiuireadh who send people through time to find their soulmates, but I sensed a thread that linked Lila to this time. I suspected it was you, that she belonged with you. Even if Lila hadn’t volunteered to come to this time, I was going to persuade her to. I believe her future has always been in the past—with you.”
Gawen's Claim: Highlander Fate, Lairds of the Isles Book One Page 15