For Keeps (Aggie's Inheritance)

by Havig, Chautona

  “Well, no but--”

  “Then, as I said,” Aggie interrupted quickly before the girl could add any more arguments to the table. “We’ll wear them in this house to honor the preferences your parents had for you. That is something that I believe is commendable. I can’t do everything exactly how your parents would, but this one is so easy, I can’t justify not doing it.” She glanced toward her own closet, thinking of her favorite jeans, the long Bermuda shorts she’d never had a chance to wear that summer, and her favorite wool dress pants. Before she could change her mind, she added, “I think I’ll toss my pants just so none of you feel like I’m setting a double standard.”

  “Oh, Aunt Aggie, no! You don’t have to do that. The girl tried to apologize, visibly distraught that her questions had created such a ‘terrible loss’ for her aunt.

  “Of course, I don’t have to, but Vannie, they’re just clothes. If I’m going to require this of you, I want to be an example to you and your sisters. Remember, it isn’t a sin if I choose not to do what I believe I can.”

  She scrambled from the bed, found an old pillowcase in a stack of linens she hadn’t been able to dispose of yet, and rifled through her closet finding the few pairs of pant-like garments that she owned. They stuffed them in the old pillowcase and tossed it in the corner. As she led Vannie from the room, Aggie whispered with a giggle, “Besides, William will be frustrated when he realizes that he has never seen me in pants again.”

  Later that afternoon, Libby pulled Aggie aside and gave her a warm hug. “Young lady, you are wise beyond your years. I overheard you with Vannie earlier. I heard voices from the window and went up to tell her to let you rest. When I heard what was bothering her, I was arrogant and just ‘knew’ you’d need my help, but I learned much from you. Thank you.”

  “Really? I felt like I bungled the whole thing. I didn’t know how to get her off the fixation of why other people do what they do. I just wanted her to fix her eyes on Jesus instead of everyone around her.” The young woman rolled her eyes. “Oh, honestly. Why couldn’t I have said that!”

  “Because, Aggie. Murphy’s Law is alive and well and adapts itself to any occasion--particularly anything remotely related to parenting.”

  “Don’t I know it,” Aggie agreed dryly.

  Friday, September 19th

  “Aggie? Aggie, wake up.” Luke’s voice jerked her from a dead sleep.

  “Wha--what is it?”

  “Mom and I just got here, and Vannie was doing everything she could to keep things quiet, but Ellie is running a raging fever. She’s just coated with pox. Mom thinks you should take her to the clinic. She would have, but--”

  “No,” Aggie tried to drag herself from the bed. “They won’t let her. “I need to do it.”

  “Sorry, Mibs. I didn’t want to wake you.”

  “I know. Thanks. I’ll be right down.”

  Minutes later, she whizzed down the road, trying to stay close to the speed limit, but with the sight of her niece in her rearview mirror, the needle crept higher and higher. “We’ll be there in just a minute. They’ll know how to make you feel better.”

  The doctor took one look at several of Ellie’s pox and shook his head. “She’s scratching in her sleep. Several of these are infected. That explains why her fever is still high.”

  He made a few notes, wrote out a prescription, and called for one of the nurses to call it into the pharmacy in Brunswick. Then, he wheeled an IV pole over to the table. “We’re going to have a hard time finding a good place to do this, but she’s a little dehydrated. We’ll get an antibiotic started too.”

  Aggie frowned. “She’s been drinking. Every glass we bring her is empty when she returns.”

  Ellie’s already red face became even redder. “I didn’t drink it,” the child admitted in a whisper.

  Aggie noticed the girl’s cracked lips and sighed. “Where did it go?”

  “Tavish drank…”

  “Does it hurt your mouth?” Dr. Sanderson seemed to understand.

  “Yes. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s normal, sweetie. We’ll send you home a special water bottle that’ll squirt the water at the back of your throat. That way, you can drink without hurting so much.” He patted the child’s hand as he spoke. “Just swish a bit around your mouth once in a while so you don’t get too dry.”

  The morning dragged into afternoon as they watched “Miss Elspeth” as the doctor liked to call her, improve enough to leave. To help alleviate her pain, they gave her a swish of liquid lidocaine and explained to Aggie how to mix Mylanta and Benadryl for a similar effect at home. Before they left, the doctor made Ellie promise to squirt all liquids Aggie served her down her throat.

  On the way home, Ellie sighed contentedly. “Dr. Sanderson is a very nice man. I love doctors.”

  Aggie shook her head, amused. Her children never failed to prove, at just the right times, that she would never be able to predict anything ever again. “The only thing predictable about children is their unpredictability,” she muttered.

  “What was that, Aunt Aggie?”

  “I was just saying how unique each of you are.”

  Ellie beamed. “I love that word. Unique. It’s a cool word--like angst. They both sound like the thing they are.”

  “My point exactly.”

  ~*~*~*~

  Once Tavish was the only child pox-free, Aggie quit trying to keep the children separated. Her most recent attempts were limited anyway, but at that point, it seemed silly. Just before dinner, she glanced in the mirror, saw a fresh outbreak of pox, and wondered if her body was going to erupt every few weeks for the rest of her life. Was she so contrary that she insisted on proving Luke wrong about the pox vs. acne thing?

  Meanwhile, despite the fact that Vannie’s videos were already en route, all hopes of beginning a minimal school week were gone with her new outbreak. She knew there was no way she’d be able to concentrate on making assignment sheets and with Ellie so sick and unable to start, everyone would end up on different schedules. It made sense to bump it back another week. She glanced at Libby as she made the decision, and sighed. “Remind me that they wouldn’t be having much in the way of education even if I didn’t send in that notice of intent.”

  “They wouldn’t. Even with her books here, Vannie had a hard time concentrating. Illness and education don’t mix will.”

  Luke carried boards through the mudroom and downstairs, making Aggie curious about what he was doing, but Ian wailed upstairs in his crib. “Ugh. He’s being difficult about his nap today. I don’t know what’s gotten into him. I thought he was feeling better.”

  “I’ll get him, Aggie. You rest. I think that’s why you keep breaking out. You aren’t resting.”

  As Libby climbed the stairs, Aggie glanced around the room. It was littered with Popsicle wrappers, pillows, childish drawings, and half-finished puzzles. There were socks, blankets, pillows, and calamine bottles everywhere. Relaxing wouldn’t work. Until she had their home-school plan up and running, she wasn’t comfortable with the idea of another visit from the “attendance officer” showing up and finding things chaotic as they were. So, ignoring Libby’s prior admonitions to rest, Aggie stood, grabbed a trash bag from the kitchen, and began picking up the room--about five minutes too late.

  “Knock, knock.”

  The sound of William’s voice sank her spirits. It seemed as if he had internal radar for arriving at the worst possible time. “Come in.” She shoved another handful of popsicle wrappers and used Kleenex in the bag before grabbing several glasses and carrying them to the kitchen.

  “Are you feeling better?” Aggie turned and put her hands on her hips. One look at her face told him all he needed to know. “I guess not.” His eyes roamed over the room. His discomfort with her home was much less than it had been only weeks earlier, but he still seemed to steel himself against the ghosts of his past before making himself at home. He grabbed the trash bag from where Aggie had left it and began gathering all t
he children’s scattered pictures. Before she could stop him, he shoved them into the bag and set it next to the front door. “How was the first day of school go?”

  “Ellie woke up miserable. I had to take her to the clinic, I broke out in more pox myself, as you can see, so I gave up on that idea. We’ll just have to change the planned vacation days and maybe add in a few Saturdays or something.” Aggie’s mind tried to calculate a new idea to revamp the school schedule, but to no avail. Her brains were on sick leave.

  Disapproval flooded his face. He grabbed several bottles of lotion, Benadryl, and Tylenol from the end table. “Where do these go? You shouldn’t leave them laying around like that.”

  Protest rose in Aggie’s heart, but she chose to ignore him. Becoming defensive wouldn’t solve anything. “Here, I’ll take them.”

  “They should be put up somewhere out of reach--locked would be best,” he added helpfully.

  Aggie returned with an empty laundry basket for discarded socks, towels, and other various things in need of washing. She tossed a couple of pillows on top and carried the whole thing to the mudroom. Upon returning, she glanced around. The room needed a vacuuming, desperately needed dusting, but at least it wasn’t cluttered anymore, so she sank onto the couch--beat. That move set off a chain reaction that she could never have anticipated.

  “You’re tired.” It was almost an accusation.

  “I am. I can’t believe how exhausting it is to be spotty. It’s like my body gets worn out creating those stupid things.”

  “If you’re this tired, if you’re already weeks behind the school calendar, what makes you think you can actually do this home-school thing?” As plain as William’s concern was, there was a slight air of patronization in his tone that rankled.

  “I think you’re forgetting that none of those kids would be in school before Monday regardless of where that school is. At least if I keep them home, we can start from any date and do all the work rather than missing it. They wouldn’t have that opportunity in a regular classroom.”

  “That may be, but today’s delay just makes me wonder, again, if you should even be doing all this. It’s too much for one person.”

  From the corner of her eye, Aggie saw Luke carry something out of the basement and out through the mudroom. Curious as to what he was doing, she almost missed William’s words. “Wait a minute. I shouldn’t be doing what?”

  “This--all of it.” The stunned look on Aggie’s face made William hasten to elaborate. “Not that I don’t think you should be taking care of the children. I do. I admire you for it. I just think that enough has happened to demonstrate that it’s too much work for one person alone--particularly someone so young.”

  “Happened? What are you talking about?” An inward groan punctuated her questions with exclamation marks. She sounded as defensive as she felt.

  “Oh, come on, Aggie. You’ve been to the clinic too many times to count, you lost the baby--you know, the one with a knack for abusing the 9-1-1 system--you sprained your ankle goofing off, ended up with a reaction because you were messing around in that awful attic, you have a houseful of sick kids and need Sullivan and his mom just to get through the day--and now this home-schooling thing.”

  “What about it? I haven’t started yet! You can’t call me a failure for that until I actually have a chance to try it.” Had William known her better, he’d have stopped before he felt the full impact of her anger.

  “That’s my point, Aggie. You had plans to start today--”

  “I had plans for a dry run. Basic things like here’s how things are going to go, let’s do our Bible time, and acquaint them with assignment sheets. I had no intention of actually giving them any assignments.”

  “Because you’re not even ready for that. You have no curriculum, no desks--”

  “Well, I didn’t intend to give them all desks, but that’s beside the point.” Aggie jerked the ponytail holder from her hair and reformed the up-do.

  William glanced around the room. Aggie foolishly assumed it was another survey of her shortcomings, but she soon learned it was to ensure their privacy. “I’ve been thinking, Aggie.”

  “It’s something most people do from time to time.” The moment she heard her sarcasm, Aggie realized how close she was to exploding.

  “You can’t do this alone. I know we said we weren’t going to worry about trying to forge a relationship or anything, but I think that was unrealistic.” He jumped as he heard a board clatter down in the basement. “As admirable as your sacrifice for these kids is, you’re just one person. You can’t do this alone, no matter how much you think you can. You need support, and the kids need more stability. I can’t imagine what a mess your finances must be in.” She saw his attempts at humor, but the condescension in his tone was almost unbearable.

  “You have no clue just how insulting that was, do you?”

  “Insulting? I’m trying to be encouraging.”

  “Telling me how pathetic my ‘attempts’ at mothering are, assuming that you know what I ‘need,’ and telling me that I don’t know a thing about finances is ‘encouraging’?”

  “Well, I didn’t mean it like that. I was trying to show you how much you need help.”

  “I have help, William. I have Libby, Iris sometimes, Luke, and even you and Mrs. Dyke on occasion. I have help. If I needed it, I could call the Vaughns, and a man from a church in Brunswick offered to help anytime. I’m not unsupported here. If necessary, I can call my parents, or even hire out what I can’t do. I have the Lord!”

  “It’s not the same. I’ve been thinking about this and praying like crazy, and I think we should just get married.”

  For one wild moment, Aggie had the inexplicable urge to laugh. Did he not know how ridiculous he sounded? “William, if I thought you were serious--”

  “I’m perfectly serious. You need the kind of help and support that a husband and father gives. It’s not something that you can hire out, either.” He leaned forward, oblivious to the shock and fury simmering beneath Aggie’s façade of calm. “The kids need some semblance of a normal life.” He swallowed hard as if to gain courage, and continued before she could formulate a coherent response. “I know you are upset with me right now. You probably feel like I’m being hard on you, but I don’t mean to be. I’m trying to show you why we should just do this. I get tomorrow and Sunday off, so I’m going to fly to Seattle for a game, but I’ll be back home Monday. We can talk about it then.”

  He stood, nodded, and left before Aggie recovered from the shock. Her lips twisted in wry disgust. “Oh, and you should marry me so I can save you from yourself, but don’t tell me how wonderful my brilliant idea is until I get back from a last hurrah as a single guy. Then you can fall at my feet in grateful adoration,” she mocked in a ridiculous sounding falsetto. The moment she heard herself, remorse filled her heart. “Oh, Lord. Forgive me, but that man…”

  A sound by the basement caused her to turn. Something on Luke’s face told her he’d heard her-- possibly William too. “I suppose it’s too much to hope that you didn’t hear that disgusting display.”

  “I heard.” He carried the scraps in his arms to the mudroom and returned, pulling his gloves off as he did.

  It occurred to her that she didn’t know whose words he meant. “Which one, mine or William’s?”

  “Both.” As he sat across from her, his arms on his knees, barely meeting her gaze, she saw concern in his face and a trace of something that almost looked like pain.

  “Do you think he’s right? Am I really blowing it with the children? Am I harming them? If I thought for even a minute--”

  “No, Mibs, no.” The sincerity in Luke’s voice couldn’t be mistaken. “You’re doing an excellent job. Mom is always bragging on you to everyone. Corinne was saying that she’s been to the Clinic more than you have this summer, and she only has three children.”

  “I keep thinking that I heard him wrong, but he was serious, wasn’t he?” A sense of shock grew in her
as she realized that William truly expected her to agree to his strange proposal. “He really thinks that marrying me is really a solution to whatever problems he thinks I have.”

  “I think so, yes.” She heard the strain in Luke’s voice and wondered at it.

  “What do you think? I can’t believe I’m even asking, but I am. Do you think marrying him would provide some kind of stability or something that apparently the kids don’t have and need?” Dread caused her voice to stumble and break as she choked out the question.

  “Well…” Luke seemed to search for words even more so than usual. “He is confident and responsible. Those are good things to have around when you are dealing with children.” By now, the pain in his voice was unmistakable.

  “I sense a ‘but’ coming in right about now.” She could see him struggle to answer. Luke clearly didn’t like being in the position of advisor this time--didn’t want to have this conversation. However, as always, she asked, and he answered.

  “No, Mibs. I don’t.”

  “Tell me why. Not that I disagree with you or anything. I just want to make sure my reasons are rational instead of emotional. We both know that he’s not going to take no for an answer if I sound emotional.” She rubbed her head, dreading the oncoming headache. “I think I’m in shock or something. The only reason I can come up with is, ‘because I don’t want to.’ That’s not going to cut it, so tell me. Why shouldn’t I marry William?”

  “Not wanting to is enough for me, but you’re right. Probably not for him.”

  “So, tell me why.”

  “Mibs,” Luke began gently, never taking his eyes from hers. “My reasons are selfish; they’re not something he’s going to accept any better.” Her eyes insisted he explain himself. “I don’t think you should because you don’t care for him. I don’t want you to because I do care for you.”

  Surprise flooded Aggie’s face followed by thoughtfulness and finally comprehension. All the subtle hints and not-so-subtle ones that Libby had left, and all of Luke’s personal compliments and gentle teasing swirled in her mind, but before she could find some way to respond to him, Luke stood and dug his keys out of his pockets. “Aggie, pray about it. Just--just pray. I hadn’t planned to share my heart with you yet. I thought you needed time, but…” He fumbled for a particular key and then shrugged. “Well, William spoke, you asked, and…” With the rest of his thoughts unspoken, Luke slipped out the door and walked to his truck. She saw him lean against it, obviously shaken--possibly hurting, although she wasn’t sure why. Did he think she’d actually agree to William’s crazy idea? The truck started and drove away, but Aggie didn’t hear.