The Rabid Mind Two

by Bruce Buckshot Hemming

  He paused. He hadn’t envisioned that twist. Damn oversight.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.” He said.

  “No, no, it’s fine. Don’t mind me. I am still hurting inside.” She said.

  There was an awkward silence as both of them admired the scenery they had seen multiple times before.

  “You know he was my first.” She suddenly said.

  He was taken aback, “First?”

  “Yeah, first…” She left the sentence hanging, expecting him to understand. If he did though, he did a good job at hiding it.

  “Fine. He’s the first guy I ever had sex with.” She said, rolling her eyes.

  He burst out laughing then, and she realized that he had known. He had just been leading her on for the fall, and she had fallen hard.

  “You’re an asshole.” She punch him in the stomach. Matt bend over.

  “Oh my God. I’m so sorry Matt. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  He turned around and laughed some more and she realized she’d been played again. She now feigned sulking, and he apologized.

  “Alright, alright. I’m done. I’m done.” They both laughed.

  They fell into an awkward silence again as each person searched for what to say. What really could one say to follow up to that kind of revelation? Matt ventured.

  “First huh. What happened throughout high school?” He asked.

  “Well, the boys there annoyed me. I could get them to do anything I wanted just because of my boobs. They just seemed weak to me really.”

  “Well, in their defense, they a sight to behold.” Matt said, shrugging, and she feigned offence, and gasped.

  “Matthew Babcock. Have you been ogling my boobs? Shame on you.”

  “Not ogling. They’re just very noticeable, is all. So he was your first?” He quickly changed the topic, not really understanding where the whole breast thing was headed.

  “Yeah. And they say a girl never forgets her first, right?” She paused. “I just don’t know how to move past this.” She concluded with a heavy sigh.

  “You’re a strong girl Claire. You’ll pull through.” He said, sounding unsure of himself. He didn’t exactly know how to console her now that her line of thought had headed in this direction.

  “I guess. But I need to feel love. I need to feel a human touch of kindness. You ever see that show, Sister Wives?”

  “Ah, I don’t think Sandra or Jim would go for that.”

  “Maybe. Maybe. If Sandra was willing?”

  “I don’t think Sandra would ever agree to it.”

  “You never know. I think it would be better to be honest and not sneak around. Look I don’t mean all the time, something like once a week. Every Friday night is my night with you. Something like that she can have you the other six days.”

  “I don’t know what to say. I think we should drop it for now.”

  He felt he had rested for long enough and got up to continue with the chore. She watched. His mind was racing. Oh shit. This could get really bad. But what to do. Claire had proven her worth and willing to fight now. They had picked up pellet guns and she practiced every day. She was becoming deadly with both pistol and rifle. But this sister wife? This is getting too weird.

  She is losing it. Maybe she is finding a way to fit in. He imagines Sandra’s reaction; sister wife. Hell no, I’ll kill the bitch. Matt smiled. Sandra would never go for that.

  ***

  Jet looked at her and smiled. Was she dreaming? How was this happening?

  “Jet? Baby? How? I miss you so much, why did you leave me?” She asked, sobbing, and reaching out to him.

  “I had no choice Claire.”

  “I still need you. What am I supposed to do now?” She asked.

  “Live. Live for both of us.”

  “Okay, okay. I will.”

  He turned to leave, the light behind him was very bright and she could not see past it.

  “Wait. Will I see you again?”

  “Are you sure you want to?” He asked, not turning to look at her.

  “What did you say?” she asked. Suddenly, the bright light was gone, and a thick darkness covered everywhere. She somehow could still see him clearly, and he turned.

  She gasped.

  His face had taken on the ghoulish look.

  “I said, are you sure you want to?” He snarled now, walking towards her in a menacing manner. She tried to move back and run, but as she turned, he was there, and he raised his hand and wrapped it around her throat.

  “Careful what you wish for Claire. Now wake up.”

  She jerked awake, sweating profusely even though the weather was very cool. She bent her head and cried, as the dream replayed in her mind. She had been having these dreams for a while now, and didn’t know what to make of them. When Sam had died, she had been disturbed with dreams just like these as well. But these were super intense. So real.

  For a brief moment, her mind went to Matt, and she caught herself wishing he was with her at this moment. She would feel a lot less scared. She cautioned herself. What would Sandra think if she knew where her thoughts were? What did it matter even? She had just grown used to his company and discovered she was less antsy around him. She laughed mirthlessly then, remembering her promise to Jet.

  Her dream came back to her again, and she held her neck as if she could still feel the phantom hold of Jets grasp around it. She had to stop having these nightmares. To think that they always started so well with him telling her to go on living. The dream was a paradox and confused her and she wished she could understand it. A film to which she was the only viewer.

  She lay back down and tried to sleep again, knowing it wouldn’t happen. At least she had Matt to keep her company. There she went again thinking about Matt.

  She rolled on her side and closed her eyes, knowing it would not work, but wanting to try. Would Sandra agree? How to slowly bring this up to her?

  ***

  They arrived in New Mexico sometime that evening, and Jim drove towards the Gila forest area. The journey had taken longer than they’d expected. He had bypassed the detour down US 285 and turned off onto CO 17 after passing the small town of Villa Grove, straight into Alamosa. From there, he had driven straight to New Mexico.

  As they approached the forest area, they could see a vehicle was already waiting for them. A jeep.

  A man stepped out of the Jeep and walked towards them, as they slowed down and parked.

  “Good evening. I am Luis. Mr. Tyler sent me here to get you. You are Mrs. Debbie Summers, correct?” He asked, directing the question at her.

  “Why yes. Yes, I am.” She replied, smiling

  “Okay, you can follow me to our camp.” He said and turned back to the Jeep. Jim and Debbie got back into the CRV and followed.

  The jeep took them down a series of paths and roads, until they finally arrived at a clearing with a big fence.

  “Seems like tall chain link fences are all the rage now days.” Jim said dryly, and Debbie laughed. The gates were opened and they drove in. It was huge. Jim wondered how long it had taken them to fence the entire property. Back breaking work on steroids.

  Stepping out from the CRV Jim counted ten cabins. They didn’t look great and he reckoned majority of them must have been built sometime last year.

  Debbie looked every which way trying to catch a glimpse of her kids. She was extremely nervous, and made no effort to hide it. Just then, she eyed an attractive, middle aged man approaching her.

  When he got to where they were, he stopped, and regarded them both.

  “Mrs. Debbie Summers?” He asked, and she heaved a sigh of relief. He was the one.

  “Yes, I am Debbie Summers.” She said, barely containing her excitement.

  He turned towards the cabin and motioned forward. Debbie stre
tched to see. She nearly squealed. Billy and Anabelle. She could not believe her eyes. They looked the same. She couldn’t hold herself on the spot any longer and ran to meet them halfway.

  Anabelle held onto her mother very tight as did Billy. This time, he didn’t bother to hold back the tears. It flowed freely as everyone gave in to their pent-up emotions of fear and hurt that had arisen from this matter.

  “I missed you guys so much.” She said.

  “We missed you too Mommy.” They cried.

  Jim smiled as he walked towards the trio, stopping just short of where they crouched hugging each other. He watched them as they just crouched there, three pieces of one whole that had been separated had now come back together. A mother separated from her children for bordering on two years, had finally found each other again.

  Debbie felt at peace.

  I did not fail you. I did not fail you. I did not fail Phil. She chanted in her head. She felt at peace with everything now that she held her children. All her worries, frustration and bitterness, all faded away until nothing but pure, unadulterated joy took its place.

  Getting up she turned to the man who’d asked for her name.

  “You’re Tyler, right?” She asked.

  “Yes ma’am, I am.” He replied, and before he knew it, she flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tight whispering ‘thank you’ repeatedly. Then she broke the hold and wiped a tear from her eye.

  “Thank you so much Mr. Tyler.” She enunciated, and turned to Jim. He smiled and stretched out his hands and she flew into them, then she called for her kids to come to them.

  “Hey, this is Jim. He’s my good friend. He helped me find you. Jim, my kids, Billy, and Anabelle.”

  “Hi kids. I’ve heard so much about you. Your mommy has been worried sick about you guys. She loves you guys a whole lot”. He finished.

  “We love her too.” They said and Anabelle grabbed her mom’s hand.

  “Come see our room and our friends, Mommy.” She said dragging her away. Debbie turned to Matt and shrugged and he waved her on then went to unload the CRV. As he walked he shook hands with Tyler introducing himself.

  Inside, the kids introduced her to Jeffery and Angela the other children from the foster home.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Jealous

  Sandra sat on her bed, thinking. Her mind took her back to her college days when her undersized breasts had been a cause of constant annoyance for her. She was always privy to tales from the other girls, about how boys were so in love them. She’d fantasized about having big breasts then, wondering how it would feel to have a guy nearly trip and fall just because she opened a few buttons. That’s all she had been able to do though, just wish, because she had not been blessed in the chest region with dizzying dimensions. Hers was one of less than average sized breasts and were usually glossed over by boys whom she’d met.

  It had been a real source of discomfort to her then, and it was a great source of discomfort to her now. She had started noticing the slight glances Matt took at Claire’s breasts every now and then. A voice asked her if she wasn’t just imagining things, but she quieted it down. She knew what she saw.

  To her, girls like Claire, with their long blonde hair and big boobs had always been privileged. More so, than the rest of them who were pretty, but with smaller cleavage. Throughout college, she had kept to herself, and tried not to wear overly large sweaters during winter to avoid jokes about her being one of the “guys.” She usually laughed when things like this were said, but secretly, they’ affected her. She realized that Matt always extoled and praised her boobs, saying they were ‘just perfect as far as he was concerned’. Why then was he ogling Claire’s breasts?

  Her mind turned to Claire. The girl had been dropping what she took to be subtle hints recently.

  ‘He was my first’.

  Who cares?

  She did not like the fact that they had made her resort to spying on them like some crazy girl with self-esteem and trust issues. She would do it till she was satisfied that nothing was going on between her man and Claire. She got up as the door opened and Matt walked in. He had showered and now removed the towel to dress. She admired his body. The work around the house sure did keep him in shape, she thought. She went to him and started kissing his neck, while simultaneously putting her hands between his legs to grasp his growing hardness. He groaned as he turned towards her and deepened the kiss. Then he broke off suddenly, and looked into her eyes.

  “We have too much work to do today, babe.” He said, and she blinked.

  Had she heard him right? It almost sounded like he said he was tired.

  “What?” She asked, confused.

  “You know, work.” He repeated, pecking her forehead, breaking the hold and going back to getting dressed for the day.

  She was dumbstruck. So he no longer found her attractive? No. that couldn’t be it, she’d felt him grow stiff in her hand mere seconds ago.

  What then? Only one thing came to her mind though. Claire.

  A small voice at the back of her mind asked, working beside Claire? But she shushed the voice. She didn’t want to know how, but she just knew that Claire had a part to play in what had just happened. Either an active role, or a passive one.

  Something was going on, or about to go on. Whatever it was though, she didn’t intend to get caught unawares.

  ***

  Debbie stared at the cliff dwellings in awe. She could not believe that people had lived there for years, raised children there. At the same time, she imagined how it would be to live here. Free of the constraint of society, with no worries apart from that of food and water. It held a lure, and a deep sense of peace. Its rich history, inspiring awe. The Gila cliff dwelling once a source of tourist attraction for the state of New Mexico, now served as a backup plan for the stronghold. It contained extra supplies that would come in handy on a rainy day.

  They had intended to leave that morning, but the kids had insisted they see the dwellings first. They’d hiked to the place and they were now settling down to eat.

  Jim looked around and whistled. “Amazing, isn’t it?”

  “Groups of nomadic people used these caves for temporary shelter, and in the late 1200s. The people decided it would be a good place for them to stay. They’re the ones who built rooms and the pottery here. They raised their children here for twenty years before moving on to places unknown.” Billy said, and Debbie beamed.

  “Wow. This one’s got quite the brain doesn’t he?” Jim said, ruffling the boy’s hair.

  “I told you he was incredibly smart.”

  Tyler came to join them, he had been inspecting the supplies hidden in the cave. All was well.

  “So? What do you think?” He asked, sitting with them, and making a plate for himself.

  “It is beautiful,” Anabelle said, between mouthfuls.

  “Yeah. It is. When I was a kid, my friends and I would often come this way with our parents. It was always a source of pride, seeing the tourists, in our state. Those were easier, better times.”

  “Sandra would have loved to come here. She wrote a paper on this place in high school. Most of her information was off the internet of course. She always said she would love to come here someday. She’ll kill me when I tell her I was here without her.” Jim said.

  “Who’s Sandra?” Anabelle asked.

  “Sandra is Jim’s daughter.”

  “Is she little like me?” She asked, and Debbie laughed.

  “No, dear. She’s grown up. But you will love her, she’s very nice.”

  Debbie could not believe the turnaround that had occurred. Barely two weeks ago, she had not wanted to continue living. She looked over at Jim as he made a joke and Billy laughed. She owed him a lot, for not letting her give up. For sticking with her and helping her, even from the start when he did not know her at all.
She did not think she would be able to repay him. She didn’t think he’d want any repayment. Such a lovely man.

  Jim on the other hand, was happy for Debbie. Her smile, the one she always had on now, was one he had never really seen before. Granted, she usually smiled, but there was always some little pain behind her eyes when she did. Now though, that was gone, and she was as carefree as can be. The new Debbie was a real ray of sunshine, even compared to how great the old Debbie had been.

  It was clear how important these kids were to her. Like they were the reason she drew breath, and why not? They were great. Now Billy was telling him a funny story about how his science project had exploded and covered him in red goop, which his mother had mistaken for blood.

  Debbie laughed at this, “It’s funny now. But not so much back then. I had really been scared. I heard the explosion, and I ran in to see my little boy covered in red stuff. For the first few seconds I thought it was blood. I know, totally unreasonable, because he was laughing. I was just scared you know. Phil teased me with it for weeks.”

  Tyler laughed as she recounted the story. He could see how much she adored her children. He couldn’t imagine what she’d had to endure. He didn’t have any children of his own yet, but he silently promised himself now, that if he ever did, he would be as good and dedicated a parent to them as Debbie was. She was a real inspiration now that he thought about it. How many parents would go through what she had, without giving up? The scourge of the virus hadn’t even stopped her. She had fought through thick and thin, braving hives of infected and other dangers the new world presented.

  “Okay kids, we’re going to have to start going back now.” He announced. The hike back down was a long one and they had to leave early so they’d get home on time.

  The kids grumbled a bit, as everyone got up to go, and they allowed them one last tour of the place. It was beautiful.

  Eventually they were ready to go and started making their way down the trail, hiking back to where they parked the jeep and CRV. Billy had commented that the car reminded him of one he’d seen in a movie once. ‘A really old movie’ and Jim had laughed. Debbie carried Anabelle on her back, while Jim carried her backpack. Billy insisted he would walk, as he was a big boy, so they let him.