Sea of Desire

by Christine Dorsey

  “I see.” Merideth didn’t like being referred to as a problem, but she supposed that’s what she was, at least in the captain’s eyes.

  “Now, I obviously can’t do anything until we reach port, but once we’re in Charles Town I shall be able to see to your safe return to England.”

  “How are you going to do that?” Merideth had some vague idea of contacting the British army herself once they reached America, but she didn’t know exactly how to go about it. Apparently Daniel didn’t plan to tell her either.

  “I have my ways,” he said, his green eyes, so like his cousin’s, veiled in secrecy. “You forget that I know many people in the government?”

  “Do you mean, I forget you’re a spy?” The affable expression on his face dissolved, to be replaced by a mask of restrained anger. “Actually, I haven’t forgotten,” Merideth continued. “Nor have I forgotten that you accused me of being the same.”

  “ ‘Accused’ is hardly the correct word.”

  “You implied, and please don’t deny it,” Merideth added when he again shook his head. “You implied that I was this infamous Lady Sinclair. The woman responsible for John Blackstone’s death.”

  He seemed momentarily stunned to silence, but shook it off quickly with a delicate shrug. “Perhaps I did hold some doubts about you.”

  “Please don’t tell me you’ve seen the error of your ways, for there’s been nothing done to change your mind.”

  “True enough. But I’ve decided we’ll all be better off with you back in England... regardless of your political activities.”

  “We?”

  “The Americans, because you can be bought and we can use the information you provide. Myself, because I intend to be the go-between for that information. And you, because once you reach Royal Oak, if Jared even suspects you are the one responsible for his brother’s death, he’ll kill you.”

  Air left Merideth’s lungs in a rush. “I... I don’t believe you.”

  “Don’t you?” His winged brow lifted. “Neither of us is certain he didn’t murder your father, now are we?”

  He paused, but Merideth couldn’t deny his words. The expression of triumph on his too pretty face made Merideth feel physically ill... or was it the fear that he might be right?

  “Just be watchful, Lady Merideth. And remember I shall be here if you feel the need to discuss this further.” With a bow deep enough for the grandest ballroom, Daniel Wallis backed away, leaving Merideth shaken and clutching the rail.

  “You seem to get along famously with my cousin.”

  Merideth didn’t know how long she’d stood staring out to sea, but the sound of the deep, familiar voice startled her. She turned, hand to her chest, to look into the sea-green eyes she knew so well. “What... what do you mean?”

  Jared shrugged, his powerful shoulders lifting beneath the billowing cotton of his shirt. He glanced away to break the hold of her eyes, but looked back when he spoke. He’d seen them talking, watched them bend close. And all the time he’d thought of the woman who’d betrayed his brother. “It just appeared that you were discussing something of great importance.”

  “Perhaps Daniel offered to help me escape you.”

  “Did he?”

  Merideth stepped forward, aware of how much she longed to tell Jared exactly what his cousin had said. How anxious she was for him to deny everything once more and assure her that he had taken her from England only for her own protection. Even if that was a ridiculous excuse, she wanted to hear it was his.

  But could she believe him? Merideth didn’t know. And he didn’t seem inclined to convince her.

  When she turned away, Merideth realized it was in part because she was beginning not to care. The heat of his body seemed to pull, till she wanted to forget everything but how it felt to be held in his arms. She clutched at her locket as she would a talisman. “I hardly think I need answer to you about anything. If you want so badly to know what Daniel said to me...” She leveled her gaze on Jared. “Ask him.”

  Jared met her defiant stare, then turned on his heel. He didn’t look back until he’d climbed down the hatch, and then she was well out of sight.

  On deck Merideth sucked in her breath, letting it out slowly. She let go of the brooch, using her free hands to hug herself. She was losing her mind. There was no other explanation. There had been a time when she’d thought herself falling in love with the captain.

  Now, knowing what she did, with all the more reason to distrust him, she still couldn’t rid herself of those feelings. If anything, they grew stronger.

  At least the desire for him did. She couldn’t close her eyes at night without him invading her dreams. She thought of him constantly, excessively. Of how it felt when he touched her, when he whispered her name... when his body joined hers.

  Stepping away from the rail, Merideth shook her head. Her blood ran hot and her heart raced. She had to stop this. To stop thinking of him. But she had five more weeks confined on board the Carolina. And then she’d be with him at his plantation.

  Unless...

  Maybe Daniel’s offer was a good idea. Maybe it was the only thing that made any sense.

  “I don’t think you’re paying much attention.”

  “I’m sorry, yer Ladyship. Truly I am. I guess I just don’t have it in me to study none today.”

  “Today?” Merideth tilted her head and looked at Tim over the book on the captain’s desk... the book he attempted to read. “You haven’t had your heart in our lessons since we began.”

  “Aw, now that ain’t true, Lady Merideth.”

  After closing the copy of Payne’s Observations on Gardening, Merideth crossed her arms. She had been on the Carolina only a few days when she’d had the idea of tutoring Tim. Padriac was busy and had let his sessions with Tim slide. And since Merideth had plenty of free time, she’d volunteered to teach the boy.

  Nonexistent was a good word for her own formal education. However, before most of the books were sold to pay off his debts, her father’s library, begun by earlier Banistars, had been the best in the area.

  Merideth, who’d spent much of her time alone, had learned to devour the books... the ones she could understand, that is.

  Helping Tim seemed the perfect idea. At least it did to her.

  But now that she recalled it, Tim’s initial reaction hadn’t been very enthusiastic. He’d given some excuse about the captain needing him, which had made Merideth annoyed with Captain Blackstone. She’d been ready to go to him herself when Tim had assured her he would.

  “I shall be glad to talk to him,” she’d said. “I’m sure he will agree to the lessons.” Actually, she hadn’t been at all certain.

  But Tim had insisted he should be the one to broach the subject with the captain. And knowing how tenuous was the trust between her and Captain Blackstone, she’d agreed.

  Merideth had been elated when Tim had approached her the following day with word. The lessons were fine with the captain. Fine, but apparently he wasn’t enthusiastic about her tutoring, for Tim sure wasn’t. Reading ahead and making lessons had been a good way to keep her mind off Captain Blackstone. Now she saw this diversion threatened.

  Her mouth flattened.

  “I suppose we have Captain Blackstone to thank for this.”

  “Aye, yer Ladyship. I reckon we do.”

  Taking a deep breath, Merideth resisted the urge to march out of the cabin and head for the quarterdeck. She’d tell the captain a thing or two. Instead she smiled at Tim. “You can’t let Captain Blackstone’s reluctance keep you from learning.” The boy’s expression showed confusion, and Merideth continued. “I realize I shouldn’t talk about the captain, but he doesn’t know everything and—”

  “That’s just what he said.”

  Merideth’s brow creased. “What who said?”

  “The cap’n. He said there was a lot a things he didn’t know. Things ye could learn in books.”

  “There you are. He admits it. Then he should be the fir
st to want you to read.”

  Tim screwed up his face. “I reckon he is.”

  “He... But why is he opposed to the lessons?” She had a feeling it was because she was teaching them.

  “He ain’t. I’m the one who don’t like ‘em none. The cap’n, he said I had to do ‘em.”

  “Captain Blackstone said—”

  “Captain Blackstone said what?”

  Merideth’s jaw dropped open as the subject of their conversation strode into the cabin. Learning he had forced Tim to take the lessons was surprising enough, but now to see him back in the room that he’d avoided for a fortnight bewildered her. She tried to answer, but found her words shaky. “We were just... well, we...”

  “I was tellin’ her what ye told me about learnin’, Cap’ n.”

  “I see.”

  “Yes.” Merideth straightened her shoulders. She refused to allow him to intimidate her. They might be in his cabin, but they certainly weren’t alone. “Tim seems to blame both of us for his lessons.”

  “Hmmm.” Jared closed the door behind him and walked into the room. He rubbed his chin as he leaned over the desk and flipped open the book. “Seems to me the word should be ‘thanks,’ not ‘blames.’ ”

  “My thoughts exactly.” Merideth retreated behind Tim, laying her hands on his thin shoulders. The cabin seemed suddenly crowded and the air insufficient for breathing.

  “Aw, Cap’n.” Tim twisted about to glance over his shoulder. “Yer Ladyship. It ain’t as if I don’t like the learnin’. It’s just... well...”

  “You’d rather be scampering about above deck,” Jared finished for him, smiling when he saw the relieved expression sweep over Tim’s freckled face.

  “Aye, Cap’n, I would.”

  “Then I think that’s what you should do.”

  “Thank ye, Cap’n.”

  “But what of his reading? Are you simply going to ignore that?” She and Tim both spoke at once, but Merideth kept going after the boy paused. “I can’t believe you’re just—”

  “Wait a minute.” Holding up his hand palm out, Jared silenced Merideth. “Neither of you let me finish. First of all, I understand how you feel, Tim. So during the day, you can carry out your duties on deck.”

  “Oh boy.” Tim tried to stand, but Jared’s hand restrained him. Merideth pulled her own fingers away when they brushed against his.

  “But in the evenings, you report to my cabin for lessons,” Jared continued. “That is, if it suits Lady Merideth.” His eyes searched hers questioningly.

  “Yes. That would be fine.”

  Jared’s gaze lowered to Tim, who had resumed his chair. “And you have to show more enthusiasm for your lessons, or they get moved back to the day.” He held out his hand. “Agreed?”

  Tim stuck out his hand. It was immediately swallowed up by the captain’s. “Ye’ve got yerself a deal, Cap’n.” Tim wriggled out of the seat. “Can I go now?”

  “Aye. Tell Mr. Delany I said you’re to help with heaving the log.”

  It was obvious to Merideth as she watched Tim hustle from the room that this was one of his favored activities. It was also obvious that she was now in the cabin, alone with the captain. And he seemed in no hurry to leave.

  Settling into the chair Tim had just deserted, he flipped through a few pages of the book, reading a line here and there. “This was my brother’s,” he said when he finally closed the pages. The heel of his hand rested on the leather cover while he traced the gold-embossed title with a fingertip. “He did love his books.”

  Merideth, standing safely behind the chair, watched the almost caressing movement of the captain’s hand. He leaned forward, his broad back bent. Though he’d tied his hair with a leather thong, the sea wind had loosened some ebony strands. They waved down the column of his sun-browned neck, making him appear vulnerable. Merideth resisted the urge to lay her hand on his bent head and pull him to her breast.

  “I never met your brother,” she said, swallowing when he twisted to look at her. Merideth caught her lower lip between her teeth and forced herself not to shift her gaze away.

  He was the first to break the hold of their stare. When he did, it was to reopen the book, and Merideth let out a breath. “He was brilliant,” Jared said. “There was a sort of laboratory in one corner of his room. My mother used to say he would most likely end up burning down Royal Oak.” He paused to chuckle. “One time he nearly did. We had to pour water from the pitcher and the slop jar on the fire to put it out.”

  “The slop jar?” Merideth couldn’t control the giggle that escaped her.

  “Aye. At the time it seemed preferable to fulfilling Mother’s prediction.”

  Pushing away from the wall, Merideth settled on the window seat. It was to the captain’s side, and about as far from him as she could get in the small cabin. “Did you... did you work with your brother?”

  “Nay.” Jared shook his head. “He’d oft try to capture my interest with his experiments. But I never could sit still long enough to understand what he found so interesting about plants.” He seemed to prove his restlessness now by standing and walking around the desk. He leaned his hip into the scarred wooden corner. “There was many a time I feigned interest, though,” he said with a grin that made Merideth’s stomach flutter.

  “You must have loved him very much.”

  The smile faded, leaving but a ghost of his dimple. “Yes, I did.”

  “I don’t know anything about his death,” Merideth said, the words rushing out before she could stifle them. His expression changed, from sad to something she couldn’t define. He pushed away from the desk and came toward her, his pace reminding her of a stalking animal. It was all she could do not to bolt to the side and run from the cabin.

  When he loomed over her, Jared smiled again. “I came below to see if you’d care for a walk above deck. The day is exceptionally clear.”

  “A walk?” She’d strolled on deck every day since they’d left Land’s End, and he’d never accompanied her. Why now did he feel the need? Before Merideth could begin to find an answer, he took her hand and drew her up till she stood nearly plastered to his body. His scent of fresh sea air and musky male drifted about her.

  Her breath caught. Of its own accord her head tilted up; her lips parted. She could only stare into the depths of his black-fringed green eyes. His kiss was not unexpected. His slow descent gave her plenty of time to pull away. His tongue filled her mouth, swept the deepest recesses till a moan escaped her.

  As always, the fire of desire started not as a slow burn but an explosion of emotion. An explosion that had her ears buzzing. Her limbs felt weighty and weak, and it was with great effort that she dragged her arms up and around the strong pillar of his neck.

  When she did he jerked her closer, pressing his hard strength into her softness.

  “Oh God, Merideth,” The words seemed dragged from his soul as Jared tore his lips from hers. His hand cupped the back of her head, tangling in the thick fall of golden curls, and he pressed her to his heart.

  Closing his eyes, he swallowed, trying to steady his breathing. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to be in control. His plan... his damn plan depended upon gaining what information she had. Seduction was the only way open to him.

  It should be fairly easy. He was no fool. His effect on her would be obvious to any but a green boy... which he definitely was not. He had to no more than touch her to spark her reaction. But what he hadn’t counted on was the way she drew him into the web of passion.

  The visit to his cabin was calculated. A moment of togetherness after two weeks of holding himself at bay—a fortnight of watching her and wanting her. The kiss was an afterthought.

  Or perhaps it was the moment he first lost control.

  Regardless, the impact of his desire hit him instantly, like a squall on a calm afternoon. Within seconds of touching her, all thoughts except having her fled his mind.

  It was not his usual way of dealing with wome
n. But he found nothing about Merideth Banistar was usual.

  Leaning back, he separated her from the front of his shirt. Her reluctance to leave caused a tightening in his chest. When he gazed into her guileless blue eyes, he found them shiny as crystals with unshed tears.

  “I don’t want this,” she whispered, her words a soft feathering of air on his chin.

  “Don’t you?” His fingers bracketed her face, his thumb catching the tear that finally slipped through the gold-tipped lashes to start a path down her soft cheek. “I think this is the one thing you do want. The one thing we both want.”

  “Nooo...” Merideth shook her head. His hands loosened, allowing her freedom, but he bent his head, catching her lips with his. ‘Twas but a slight brushing, but the contact sparked an eruption of emotion.

  “Aye, Merideth,” was all he said before scooping her up. Her hair, now loose from its ribbon, fell over one arm, her silk skirts over the other. He shifted, bringing her face closer to his. They shared a breath, a soul-shattering moment of anticipation; then she lifted her mouth to his. The kiss was deep and long, and went unbroken as he carried her across the cabin to his wooden-sided bunk.

  Even as he lowered her onto the mattress, following her until he rested in the cradle of her body, he continued the kiss. Only a need for air, and to taste the rest of her, broke the fusion.

  Her throat was soft, sweet smelling and sensitive to his touch. She arched, throwing her head back to give him better access as he trailed a line of kisses down the slender column. His tongue wet the flutter of pulse, sending the rhythm off kilter.

  “God, Merideth, you taste so good.” With his mouth Jared followed the velvet stream of ribbon that led to the locket nestled between her breasts. Ignoring the silken fabric molded to her flesh, Jared nipped and suckled till she wiggled and writhed beneath him. Till she tore at the shirt covering his back, yanking the linen from his breeches and digging her fingers into the crisscrossing cords of muscle.

  “How?” he breathed, fumbling with the fasteners on her stomacher. God, he should have undressed her before he tumbled them both onto the bunk. Now all their efforts were frustrated by their reluctant inability to let go of each other.