Sinful Angel: Lost Angels MC

by K. M. Keeton

  Get your shit together son…,"Why didn't you tell me or at least to mind my own damn business?"

  "Believe me I wanted too, but Teddy took care of that for both of us."

  I give a short laugh as I rub the back of my neck in embarrassment, "Yeah that kid is the only one that reels in my anger."

  "He's a great kid."

  "Yeah," I run fingers through my hair, "He is."

  “Why did you bring me out here?” she asks.

  “This is part of the apology package. I was an ass, and I guess I didn’t want you to remember the first impression or the second I gave you.”

  Her eyes grow unfocused, almost dreamy, before she shakes her head and the reasonable tight laced woman comes back to me. We sit several minutes in silence, appreciating the surroundings, the company, both or neither I wasn’t even sure where my own head was. One thing was for sure I liked her in my space, in fact I liked seeing her here in the only place I felt like I could be myself.

  “I’d like you to take me back to my car,” her voice wavers like she’s not sure if she’s convinced of on her own decision.

  “I don’t want to.”

  “Are you kidnapping me then?”

  “Not today, but one of these days you’re not going to want to leave,” I was going to be sure of that. Never have I felt this peaceful beside someone else, and I didn’t want to let the feeling go. Even if it broke every damn rule I set for myself. We already know I’m good at breaking rules.

  "So this isn't about the proposal you brought up yesterday at the diner?"

  "It's not on the table anymore," it was true. The more time I'm in her presence I know this is more than a casual conquest. I want her, and if I can make her see who I am it will fall into place.

  I get up, and take hold of her hand. Without letting go I lead her back to where we’ve parked my bike. Pouring out the remainder of my beer onto the dirt road, I reach over to take hers out of her hand and dump it as well, I put the empties in the bag.

  “Are you OK to drive?” she asks.

  “I’m way under the limit Sweetheart,” handing her the helmet, “But you can wear this on the way back in case,” I maneuver the bike while she places the helmet atop her head, and wait for her to hop on.

  I take a longer way back, reluctant to drop her at her car. During the drive back I swear she holds me a little tighter than necessary, and hesitates a little longer before jumping off. I don’t let her get far, wrapping my arm around her middle. I'm a hair's breadth away from her lips, and the moment I lean to connect her lips with mine she turns her head. Her cheek is warm, and soft but not my aim. I pull back and I let my arm drop from her.

  “You don’t have to play hard to get with me,” I say.

  "I can’t get mixed up with you," she says not convincingly.

  "Why not?" I ask.

  She waves her hand up and down the length of me, "I can’t, you’re not right for me. You come from the wrong side of the tracks, you’re involved with the local MC Club, and I can’t get involved with someone like you. I'm sorry."

  A scowl replaces the curious smirk I felt playing on my lips seconds earlier, "You want to judge me, fine come walk a mile in my shoes then. Secure those laces sweetheart, you are in for a really fucked up ride…," I struggle where to start. To tell her that she is all shades wrong about me. I want to shout: THIS WAS NOT MY CHOICE! But in the end it wouldn’t matter anyway, "Actually you're not worth my fucking time."

  And fuck I wish it were true. She means something to me, but I wasn't going to stand for being pushed away every time I try to open up. That for me was already too damn hard.

  Kicking my bike back to life. In the rear view as I ride away I can see her take a step forward, an arm reaches out to me. Or maybe to snatch the words back from the air, but it’s too late for that, fuck her.

  Chapter 4 - Sara

  Why do I feel like I’ve made the worst mistake of my life? I go through the next several days on autopilot. The only thing that breaks through my haze is Teddy. I call out to him without thinking about the consequences.

  "Hey Teddy can you stay here for a second I'd like to ask you something?" I say to him as the rest of my students file out.

  "Yeah sure, what is it?" he asks.

  "How's the new relationship with Emma?" beating around the bush.

  A blush touches his cheeks, and his eyes dart anywhere but at me, "Fine."

  "Fine? It looks like it's going more than fine."

  His blush deepens, and he rubs his head in a nervous habit, "Yeah well it is. At least I think so."

  I couldn't help my smile, "Is it more than friends?" I ask.

  His eyes look up at me for the briefest of moments, and his head shakes in the negative.

  "Is it something you want," I ask this time his eyes don't sway from mine.

  "Yeah, but I don't know the first thing about relationships. You know… about asking a girl out."

  "I'll tell you a secret, it's not as hard as you think."

  "But what if she tells me she doesn't feel the same," Teddy responds.

  I shrug, "Then at least you know. You can't force her, but the way I've seen her look at you...The odds are in your favor."

  His features brighten, "You think," I smile and nod my head.

  I give him a second to take in the possibility, before I ask what I really wanted to know all along.

  “Teddy, is everything alright at home?”

  “Yes, everything is fine,” he shrugs like teenage boys are prone too.

  “Your brother? How is he?” I ask as my eyes shift downward.

  “He’s fine,” Teddy says with a quizzical look.

  He stays silent, and I suppose I should have expected it. It’s not like I had the right to ask. I kept pushing Vince away every chance I got, and to expect him to still pursue me was a ludicrous expectation. I knew that in the end it was for the best, but it still weighed heavily on my mind and in my heart. I wonder if I made the right choice.

  I smile at him, and brush the thoughts away, “Okay, well, make sure you get your assignment done tonight, it has everything you need to know for the test on Friday.”

  “Um, ok, thanks Ms. Halaway,” I turn from him, and move around my desk to gather the papers I need to grade before my next class bell rings.

  His voice forces me to look up again, "My brother isn’t what he seems," when he tries to leave, I call his name. He turns. He sighs when he sees my face. I’m sure I’m not hiding anything from him in this moment, and I should be ashamed. Teddy starts with-, "It's really none of my damn business, but..."

  "Language," I scold. He blushes.

  "Sorry, but it's not. You and Vince are adults, and should be able to work out your own problems. But I’m starting to see both of you are stubborn. I'm only saying something because my brother deserves to be happy after all the sh...stuff he’s gone through," my smile slips out as he corrects himself.

  He sighs again, before continuing, but this time it seems exasperated," and he won't speak for himself on this, and you really should give him a chance to show you the kind of man he is."

  I knew I should stop him, this isn’t his story to tell. If Vince wanted me to know that night he would have said as much. He doesn't seem the type to hold back. I couldn’t though, I wanted to know too much to deny myself.

  "He became a parent at 18, he didn't have too, but he did it to save me from the system. Ever since then he’s had to do things he’s not proud of for us to live. That isn't his fault. I didn't think you’d judge him, so when he asked if he could take you out I said sure," he shrugs, "He's given up a lot to see me succeed. He shouldn't be punished for that, not even by you, but you did punish him. You assumed that the life he's living he would have chosen for himself. That isn't his fault either," the anger is there behind his eyes, but more so the disappointment is what gets to me. I felt repentant.

  But was I sorry? I was protecting myself in the only way I knew how. Sure I was regretful that I
ended up hurting his brother. Even more so that I judged him so harshly, but I've been exposed to men in his crowd, and yes I did assume. But I'm at fault for not giving him a chance to explain. Instead I let my old fears control me. I moved on from my problems years ago, but I was still letting the past dictate my future. Dwelling on past bad decisions I've made only allows them to keep defining me. I can't move forward if I continue to hide behind that scared little girl that thought she was once in love.

  "Anyways, forget I said anything. It's not like it makes a difference, even if you were to apologize he doesn't do second chances," Teddy said as he moved forward to leave.

  I absorb what he said, I don't see him again for the rest of the school day.

  Teddy was right, I had judged Vince. It wasn’t to hurt him, or hurt Teddy, but to protect myself. Those are the facts, but they were for the wrong reasons. Vince is not my ex. Though I still couldn’t allow myself to be caught up in him even though I was finding it too easy to do. He may very well be a good man dressed as a bad boy, but I needed to have stability in my life. I didn't see that in him.

  No, what I saw was dirty words whispered in my ear, followed with even dirtier actions, resulting in tangled sheets, and those sheets I couldn’t afford to be tangled in. So I was determined to at least apologize. I wasn’t asking for a second chance. I didn't deserve one. I didn't want one. Convincing myself was harder than I thought.

  ⨳ ⨳ ⨳

  When the next day came and went as well as the day after and there was no sight of Teddy to pass along my message I started to worry.

  Making my way up to the office I talked to the principal about my concern, and I offered to call his guardian. With permission I sit back at my desk with Vince’s number scribbled down on a sticky note.

  After picking up the receiver to call, twice, I finally dial the number.

  "Hello?" the sound of Vince’s voice was so smooth even over the line.

  "Hello?" this time agitation was clear in his tone.

  It brought me out of my daze, "Hi, this is Ms. Sara Halaway from Teddy’s school."

  "What do you want?" his voice is void of emotion.

  "I wanted to see if everything is alright with Teddy. No one has called him off sick, and he's missed two days of school. I wanted to be sure he was alright," I knew I was starting to repeat myself because of my nerves, but I couldn't stop.

  "Shit, I forgot. The kid is fine now, he had a fever that I couldn't get to come down, so I took him to the hospital, but he's home now," Vince sounded exhausted.

  "Oh it’s good to hear he's on the mend. I’ll tell the office, and his other teachers," the silence is palpable.

  "Is that all you needed? I have to get back," Vince stated shortly.

  Before I could stop myself I blurt, "I'm sorry."

  Again the silence was heavy, and it unnerved me every second it lasted. By the time either of us said anything I felt as if my body was lying flush against the floor.

  "Alright, I hope to see Teddy soon," I forced a chipper note to my tone, and returned the receiver in its cradle. I prayed to God a sinkhole would appear under my desk and take me out of my misery.

  Chapter 5 - Vince

  Sorry?

  I have to hear this in person from those sweet plump lips. I wait until I’m sure classes are out before I head over to the school. Her car still parked in her spot I pull in right next to it, and wait for her to appear. When she walks out she looks a little lost, and makes it all the way to her car without looking up. I'm not sure how she accomplished that without bumping into something or someone.

  I clear my throat as she unlocks her little beater of a car. She twists so quickly I may have been scared for her health if I wasn’t still angry with her. But every passing second I am around her my anger starts to ease. She puts a band-aid on the parts of me that need help holding together, just by being in the same proximity.

  "You look surprised to see me."

  "Shouldn't you be with Teddy?" she asks.

  I frown, but she rushes on before my anger can resume, "Yes, you've caught me off guard. Is Teddy alright?" she says through a rushed exhale.

  "He's fine. Bear is with him."

  "Bear?" she asks.

  "Someone from the club," I state while maintaining eye contact. I can see her trying hard to get her emotions in check but I could still see the worry for Teddy creep into her eyes. Her lips press in the center making them white.

  "What are you doing here?" she looks briefly around finally taking in her surroundings.

  "To hear this apology," I shrug as if it should be obvious, "You never know if someone means it until you see their facial expressions in person."

  "You came here to see if I was sincere?" she looks stunned.

  “You bet your mile long legs I did,” damn I swear her bare legs didn’t look this hot the last time she wore a skirt. When my eyes finally travel back up her body to stare into her eyes she begins.

  “I am sorry Vince. I might have assumed a few things, but I didn’t mean to hurt you or Teddy,” she says with sincerity. Those clear green eyes that remind me of my meadow shows all the sincerity I could ever want, and have ever seen in someone’s eyes before. It feels like no one has ever looked at me like this. With that my anger is gone. I nod, because I have no idea what to say or do after something so pure as someone knowing they wronged you, fesses up trying to make amends. It’s the stuff that breaks people like me.

  “How’s Teddy?” her face shows concern like a mother would over her child.

  “He’s fine. You want to see him?” the offer shocks the both of us. How can I take it back? I don’t want her to see our house. But before I can come up with a valid reason to not have her go, she nods.

  She follows behind me in her beat up cage. My anxiety increases as we get closer, and then my heart wants to burst out of my chest when I park in front of our two story barn house. With it's faded white paint, the uppermost window busted out and boarded over, yard not even resembling a yard but an overgrown weed patch, it should be condemned. Yet when she gets out of her car she only gives it a cursory glance, then looks over at me waiting to follow.

  “I want to warn you first about Bear,” before her scowl could deepen I hurry on. “Bear looks like a grizzly, but inside he has the demeanour of a little kid that loves to sleep with a light on,” it is disgusting, and I an envious as hell that he stayed so soft after living this life.

  Sara didn’t say anything, and when we entered all she did was nod in Bear’s direction before looking back to me to lead the way, “Up the stairs. Last room on the right.”

  I follow behind her, and watch her sit on the side of his bed. She touched not only Teddy’s head to feel his temperature, but she touched a part of my heart showing such love towards my little brother.

  Sara and Teddy talked in low voices to one another impossible for me to hear, but when I see Teddy smile up at her I leave them to head downstairs to take a seat on the couch in the living room. I couldn’t watch anymore. It wasn't just her body that I wanted, and it scared the living shit out of me. Especially since I couldn't seem to make her see the real me.

  A few minutes later she comes back down, and holds out a hand to Bear. Her hand is so tiny in his.

  “Hi Bear, sorry I didn’t stop to introduce myself, I wanted to be sure Teddy was ok,” she smiles, and Bear grunts out a reply.

  “Do you have a job outside of the MC?” Sara asks.

  “Yeah, I own a contracting business in the next town over.”

  “What?” I baulk, “How do I not know this about you?”

  “You never asked,” Bear grumbles, “Where do you think I usually am in the mornings?”

  I shrug, “I never thought about it.”

  It stays silent for only another few seconds before Sara is asking more questions, and again I hear things I never thought to ask Bear in all the years we’ve known each other. I never wanted to stick my nose in his business, but it seems he’s talking to
Sara about that very thing. He seems enthusiastic to have someone care enough to ask. I feel like an ass for not doing so long before Sara came along. Though it seems Bear and I never had that kind of relationship. I talked when I felt like it, he grunted, and then we moved on. Not sure if you can categorize that as friendship, but that's how I've always seen it.

  After an hour of listening to Sara and Bear chat away like old friends I dial in for a pizza. I’m starving, so they must be to, and when I set the pizza on the coffee table a half hour later, it seems I was right. They are grabbing pieces out before I can even get to the kitchen for plates and I guess that’s fine since that’s usually how we eat pizza around here, I have to grab one for Teddy. As I’m reaching for a plate I hear the front door open, and I forget about the plate completely.

  "Hey Kid, where have you been all night, we were waiting for you to show…," I hear them coming in the front room, and I start to walk faster.

  "I had somewhere else to be," I reply. I glance over to Sara. They swerve their heads looking for an attack, but soon relax.

  "Is that your new piece?" the dark haired pretty boy of the club we call Chancy asks.

  But I need not say anything, because Sara responds for herself, "I'm no one's piece," you could hear the air quotes in the air as she says "piece". The scowl on her face asks for them to contradict her. I swear this woman never knows when to keep her mouth shut, and I love it.

  “Whoa you found yourself a fighter,” Chancy gives a smile no man likes to see aimed at their woman. Even with the way Sara is looking at him like he is no more than a bug crushed under her high heels I still feel the need to claim her.

  “She’s mine Chancy.”

  “I don’t see your name on her anywhere,” Chancy pushes my buttons.