Long Live Dead Reckless

by Safari Spell

  I decided I was going to make pleasant conversation with him even if it landed me in the hospital. Taking a deep breath, I tried licking my lips and discovered that my mouth was so dry I literally had to pry it open with a finger. That’s when it dawned on me that I had no idea what I was going to say to him or how I was going to do it without saliva. Unfortunately, I was too close to the front desk to go unnoticed now. I turned to see Spencer and the Assistant Director in the corner, right at the door between the time clock and front desk. My heart sunk when I realized I hadn’t seen them in time. On queue, everyone turned to notice me all at once.

  And of course the Assistant Director had a sour frown aimed my way.

  “Miss Gardin, is there a reason you’re not where you’re supposed to be?”

  Cover blown, I just stood there like a giant fish out of water. Oh no. I had to answer him. I pulled my hand away from my mouth, but only an audible gulp came out. With a grunt, the Assistant Director pushed through the doors separating the front desk area from the lobby. Spencer reached across the counter and gripped it tight so he could lean over it and into my personal space. He smelled like the salty ocean air, which was something I had never noticed before.

  “Hey baby, don’t let him scare you.”

  He slid back behind the counter so fast I thought I imagined it all. A moment later, the Assistant Director was standing over me. I couldn’t make myself move. Fish face, tree branch arms, nothing. To me, he was a T-Rex and I was going to remain still to survive. Gray eyes glared down at me, unflinching.

  “Well? Do you work at the front desk or do you still work in the nursery?”

  When I didn’t respond, he snapped a long, bony finger towards to the hallway behind me.

  “Back that way?”

  I finally straightened. My tongue felt like a walrus writhing on a desert mirage.

  “Th-ur, I’m th-orry. I was j-just…”

  I trailed off. I’ve never been the best liar, and trying to fabricate one so quickly was not a strong suit of mine. When left with the option to come up with a believable lie or stand silent like an idiot, I always chose the latter. No exceptions. They all waited to see what I was going to say. I over enunciated my words like it would help.

  “I just wanted to talk to the guys about something.”

  He narrowed his eyes, the age creases of his brow becoming even more noticeable.

  “Work related then?”

  “Um…yes.”

  His brow went up as he stepped to the side slowly.

  “Oh. Go ahead.”

  When he didn’t walk away, I knew I was screwed. He just pinned me with a stare, so I gave a heavy blink and shook my head.

  “I mean, no? I meant no.”

  Sage’s face softened like he wanted to smile, but he just straightened in his chair, hands closing the book in front of him. Spencer put an elbow against the wall and fluffed his hair with a sympathetic grimace and a twitch of the nose. The Assistant Director crossed his arms over his chest and cleared his throat.

  “This is the fifth time I’ve had to tell you not to loiter at the front desk lately, Miss Gardin. Now get back where you’re supposed to be or I will have a talk with your supervisor in the morning.”

  “Yes, sir,” I mumbled, slinking off with my shoulders level to my ears. Embarrassed that it all happened in front of Sage, I felt tears starting to build and was ready to get out of there.

  “And tuck your shirt in!”

  I stopped. Nursery workers don’t have to tuck their shirts in. My supervisor told me that when I got hired. We run after kids for money. There’s no decency or order in that. Still, I wasn’t going to pick this battle. After tucking in my shirt, I continued my walk of shame as Spencer cackled.

  Back in the nursery, I managed to keep from crying, but I could only breathe in rapid, shallow breaths sure to render me unconscious. I paced on a thin strip of tile behind the nursery camera in the corner. I couldn’t stop fuming and I didn’t want my rage recorded. Larissa looked up from her book like she just came out of a daze and fanned herself.

  “Girl! Whew! Where am I? Why’s your shirt tucked in?”

  I stopped pacing long enough to rip the shirt out of my yoga pants.

  “The Assistant Director is still here. He made me look like a total idiot out there.”

  Her eyes went wide as she craned her neck towards the hallway and plopped her book closed in her lap.

  “Oooo, I better put this down then. What happened?”

  “I don’t know. He was grilling me about why I wasn’t back here.”

  She stifled a laugh. I stopped pacing to lean against the wall. My sweaty palms felt instant relief as they spread out against the cool painted brick. Larissa waved her hand in the air and lowered her voice.

  “Ugh! That dirty old man shouldn’t even be here, anyways. He’s got a creepy crush on you.”

  With a grunt, she flipped open her book again. I grabbed my phone and sent a text to my best friend, Azalea Beaty.

  Can I come over? Bad day. Need fun.

  The reply was quick.

  Yessah! I invited some people over to swim. You can borrow a suit. I’ll make brownies for my bestie! XOXO

  I told her I would be over after my shift. Checking the clock, I could see that meant I’d only have to survive another five minutes. I could do that. I gathered up my things and turned to Larissa, who was nibbling on her Reese’s like a squirrel.

  “Larissa, I need you to make sure the coast is clear before I head out there. I don’t want to be at the time clock the same time as Spencer or Sage. Please?”

  “So now you don’t want to talk to him?”

  “No, not now. I need to go lick my wounds.”

  “Girl, you crazy.”

  “God, just help me, ok? I need to go to my friend’s house so I can drown in the pool.”

  “Say what?”

  “I’m kidding.”

  After a long minute, Larissa nodded and marked her place in the book. Then she went around and started flipping off the lights at the other end of the room. Giving a wink, she made her way to the front along with the rest of the closing staff. I stayed behind and waited in the nursery, which was dark except for the one set of lights overhead. I could hear the clock ticking before a voice whispered into my ear.

  “Hey little girl, want some candy?”

  I gasped as my arm instinctively flew out, slamming my elbow against the door. Groaning, I turned to see Spencer laughing at my frenzied reaction.

  “Geez, Talor. You scare easy. You ok? Lemme see.”

  He reached out to check my arm, but I pushed him back.

  “Don’t do that! God. What are you doing back here?”

  He shrugged.

  “I felt bad since you almost got fired coming to see me.”

  I touched the funny bone on my elbow and winced.

  “You know I didn’t come to see you. Besides, I heard you laughing at me.”

  He raised a brow and leaned towards me.

  “Aw, that’s ‘cuz you’re funny. I like how clueless you are. It’s charming.”

  When I noticed Larissa waving for me to come out, I started to open the door. Spencer caught it and laid his hand over mine.

  “Seriously, Talor. I like it.”

  His blue eyes held me hostage for a moment. I usually made it a point to never look too hard at him. It just seemed safer. But when I dared to, I could see what all the fuss was about. He embodied rare male perfection in all his features, but he was also a distinctly bad person. Plus, I now had a physical injury because of him. The tingle in my arm reminded me just how painful he could be to any unfortunate woman.

  I jerked the door away from him and hurried out to where Larissa was waiting for me.

  “I didn’t see them. Hurry and clock out,” she said.

  I frowned at her.

  “Wait – you didn’t clock me out yet?”

  “
No! You said creepy creeper was here. You know I love you, but I’m not gettin’ caught doin’ that.”

  Sighing, I pushed the time clock door open to find Sage standing there with his timecard in hand. He cut his eyes towards me, making me freeze in real time.

  “Oh,” I muttered, wondering if not getting paid for the night’s work was better than facing him again.

  Unfortunately, nothing else was affected by Sage’s stare. The heavy door hit me on the arm again, forcing me forward into the room. I caught myself on the counter and leaned on it, trying to ignore my second injury to the same place.

  “Heyyyy, Sage. Late clocking out?”

  There was pain in my voice, but I tried to cover it with a nervous chuckle. I bit down on my bottom lip as the arm throbbed. He pushed his card down in the machine and it whirled as it punched his time.

  “Yeah. There was a line.”

  Gulping, I straightened and wrapped my arms together in front, my elbow growing red and achy. I couldn’t decide if looking at him was weirder than looking at the floor, so I just watched him pluck the card out of the machine. Even his fingers had tiny freckles. It made me smile.

  “Are you ok?” he asked.

  My eyes went wide as I realized he just caught me smiling at his fingers like a weirdo.

  “Oh, what? Yes.”

  He glanced down at my elbow.

  “What happened to your arm?”

  I held it up to see an open scrape with a bit of blood seeping to the surface. It wasn’t painful now, just sensitive.

  “I hit it on a door in the nursery. Spencer decided to – you know, it’s really ok. I’m surprised it’s even bleeding,” I replied, frowning at the scrape.

  He looked away and cleared his throat. Finally finding an empty slot, he shoved it down with the kind of aggression usually reserved for people who owe you money. Only he could make punching a time card look sexy. He grabbed another card and held it up. This time it was mine. I nodded. I thought he was going to hand it to me, but he pushed it down into the machine. I guess Sage wasn’t scared of the Assistant Director.

  “Is everything always so hard for you?” he asked.

  “Hard?”

  His lip curled.

  “You know, going through doors? Coming up front to say hi?”

  He was flirting now? Attempting an emotional regroup, I stuck my hand in my hair and tried flipping it. Unfortunately, I was sweating like I’d run a marathon. As a result, hair caught in my fingers and spun a web.

  Panicking because he was looking at me and there was no hiding my struggle, my hand flopped around like a rabid raccoon to free itself. I think I even made the same noise. Pulling hard, it came loose with a carcass of hairs strangled between my fingers.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see something like tumbleweed resting just below my chin. My tangled hair rebelled in a giant jumbled mess between my neck and the shirt collar. Focusing back on him, I just gave a sheepish smile and died inside. In that moment, I knew I had two choices: either quit my job or own the shame on my shoulder. I opted to pretend he was blind to all of my faults, and he played along like a perfect gentleman.

  To my surprise, instead of his usual indifference, he had this humorous look on his face. I struggled to think of a clever retort like when we first met. Nothing came. It was hard to focus on words when I just wanted to touch that face full of stubble. I was jealous of facial hair for the first time in my life. I wanted to be that attached to his skin.

  “I like the hair on your face. Thanks.”

  Silence.

  Wait…what did I just say? He gave an epic side eye while slipping my card back in its holder. Without a word, he turned and took the first aid kit off the wall.

  Right then, Larissa flung the door open.

  “Watch out. Here comes –”

  She took one look at us, blinked, and let the door close in front of her. Sage and I shared an awkward look and then he took out a Band-Aid and some alcohol wipes from the kit. Offering them to me, his hand brushed mine in the exchange. It was only a second in time, but the sensation of his skin against mine was warm and soothing.

  Nothing ached anymore except my heart. I dared think he might kiss me out of nowhere, but he lowered his eyes and withdrew his hand, sliding it slowly across the counter in retreat.

  When the door swung open this time, it was Spencer.

  “What the hell, man?” he complained, throwing his back against the door so it stayed open. “I’m ready to get out of here. I’ve got a party to get to. I’m thirsty.”

  Spencer chomped his teeth like he was biting into something and gave a sly smile. Sage narrowed his eyes at him, but it made Spencer chuckle as if they were sharing an inside joke that was only funny to him. I turned so I could see them both.

  “Alcohol makes you more dehydrated, Spencer.”

  He gave a lazy blink and leaned forward, chucking me under the chin like I was a little kid.

  “Aw, Talor. You’re so cute. Talis knows what I mean.”

  I frowned. Of course he would try to make Sage look like the drunk. Sage didn’t take the bait. He closed the first-aid kit and put it back on the wall. Trying to help, Larissa pushed Spencer off the door despite his protests. Sage caught it and held it open for me to go through.

  “Don’t feel so bad about the doors, Talor. Guys should be holding them for you.”

  Feeling a blush rise, I stopped a moment and looked at him, but his expression was blank. Larissa drew her lips into her mouth and quickly hooked my arm in hers, peddling us off towards the parking lot. Over my shoulder, I watched Sage linger a moment before disappearing to help Spencer switch off lights. Once we got outside, Larissa released my arm and squealed.

  “Girl!”

  “What?”

  “That was serious.”

  Shaking my head, I made my way to my car as she chased me. I tried to stick the key in the door, but I kept missing because my hand was shaking. Sage had touched that hand.

  “Talor, did you –”

  “You mind telling me why you waved me out when nobody had left yet? Thanks for nothing.”

  “But they weren’t up there,” she argued.

  “That’s because Spencer was busy harassing me in the nursery. Dear lord. I told Sage I liked the hair on his face and then I said thanks! I mean, what the heck was that?”

  The corners of her mouth dropped in thought.

  “Ok…you do like his stubble. You talk about it a lot.”

  “Not to mention my crazy hair! Look!”

  I clawed at the tumbleweed under my chin. The tangled mess behaved, but I lost a few more dozen hairs in the process. Larissa watched me fight the beast, pushing her lips together until they formed a straight line.

  “Uh, I don’t think he cares. I think he might like you. Did you hear what he said about holding doors?”

  I launched my purse in the car and drowned my face in my hands with a sigh.

  “He thinks I’m incapable of opening my own doors, Larissa.”

  “No, he didn’t mean it like that. He was being sweet. He was saying –”

  I dropped my hands to my sides.

  “Hey, you don’t think Sage is a big partier or anything like that, do you?”

  “You talking about the thirsty thing?” she asked, turning her mouth sideways.

  “Yeah, that was weird, right?”

  She looked like she was searching for the words in the sky.

  “Girl, you know Spencer always be talkin’ about booty. I don’t think Sage’s like that, but you never know. Boys their age be crazy. They into everything.”

  I shook my head quickly and held up my hands between us like a fence keeping the comments from sticking in my head.

  “Booty? Ugh. Ok, well anyway…I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  On the way to Azalea’s, I rested my hand on the first aid stuff that was sitting in the passenger seat. Sage ha
d given it to me, sure, but it was his job…kind of. Larissa was wrong. Sage didn’t like me.

  He was just concerned for a coworker. Thoughtful. Polite. Cute. I brought my hand back to the steering wheel and stroked where his freckled fingers had touched my skin. It still felt gentle. Wonderful. Warm.

  I was excited to tell Azalea all about what happened until I pulled in her driveway. There were a handful of strange cars parked there and only one I recognized. It was expensive, sporty, and had a California license plate.

  3

  I could just leave. Text Azalea and say I was too tired. I could avoid this. But instead, I watched the red line on the dash land on PARK…and I let go. Once I turned the key, the engine went quiet. I don’t know why I decided to stay. Maybe because I felt I had more right to be there than he did. I held tight to the steering wheel and considered my options.

  For a guy with only one motivation in life, Spencer was complicated. He pursued me more in the weeks since Sage showed up than he had in the entire year that I knew him before. Larissa explained the dramatic shift in behavior as old-fashioned alpha male competition.

  I told her to stop applying Animal Planet to real life, but somewhere deep down I knew there was some truth in it. I couldn’t come to terms with Spencer at Azalea’s house. I couldn’t imagine how they even knew each other. At least I knew she would be on my side. Plus, she wasn’t helpless with men like me. She could tame them. That solitary fact brought a flicker of hope that he would fall in love with her and leave me alone for good.

  Muffled voices broke my concentration. Laughter and splashing was coming from the pool area on the side of the mansion. Oh no. I forgot about the whole swimming thing. I wasn’t going to get half-naked in front of Spencer. I peeled apart the Band-Aid and put it on the scrape. My elbow didn’t hurt, but it was still a little bloody.

  Once I made sure the bandage was on tight, I forced myself out of the car and faced Beaty Mansion. God, it was beautiful. It was one of the few standing original buildings from the Civil War. It sat on at least twenty acres of pecan groves and open fields and it had actual servants. There was a homey charm to it despite its size, at least to me.