by E M Lindsey
His phone buzzed again.
Charlie: It’s in your best interest. I’ll be at the Fluted Friar tomorrow around nine. Sleep well, see you then.
Noah’s entire body tensed, his stomach twisting with nerves. He was up before he realized what he was doing and crossing over the warm wood floors to the closed bedroom door. He didn’t knock, having seen Ryan in nearly every compromising position over their years as lovers and then friends, and walked right in. Luckily, Ryan was sitting up in his bed with his phone, glasses sitting low on his nose, and he looked up, not entirely startled to see Noah there.
“Change your mind?” he asked with a small grin.
Noah wordlessly held his phone out, trying to ignore the welling panic threatening to take him to his knees. He felt a sense of relief the moment the phone was out of his hands, like someone else was carrying his burden, if only for a moment. He took a few shuffling steps over, then lowered himself on the bed and his eye fixed down at his bare feet as he heard Ryan’s sharp intake of breath.
“Is he fucking serious?”
Noah turned his head to look over. “Seems like it.”
“You’re not going,” Ryan said, and he set the phone down. “You can’t let him take advantage of you like this. The moment he thinks he has power over you…”
Noah swallowed, then shook his head. “If I pretend like he doesn’t exist, like none of this is happening, there’s no telling how far he’ll take it. If I show up looking weak, he’ll walk all over me. But if I show up and tell him that he has no power over me…”
“I don’t like it,” Ryan interrupted, reaching for Noah’s hand. “I really don’t fucking like this. You need to call Adrian.”
Noah felt his heart clench and he shook his head. “Hell no. Ryan, he’s barely willing to consider a relationship in the future. If I tell him this asshole is harassing me at midnight with vague threats, he’s going to cut me off completely and tell me it’s for my own good.”
“Have you considered that maybe it is for your own good?” Ryan asked, his voice a little hesitant. When Noah’s eyes narrowed, Ryan held up his hands in defense. “I want you to be happy. Fuck’s sake, Noah, you’re one of the most important people in my life and there’s not a heaven nor an earth I wouldn’t move to make that happen, but is this really worth all the trouble? You barely know this guy.”
Noah didn’t know how to explain it to him, how right it felt, how different. He wasn’t a fool, he wasn’t some young, inexperienced, barely-legal person trying to navigate his first relationship. He had enough experience to tell when something felt special, and Adrian was that. He was worth fighting for. He was worth all of this.
“I just need you to trust me,” Noah said, and saw it in Ryan’s eyes when he acquiesced. “I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do with Charlie, but I’m not letting him hurt Adrian, and I will not let Adrian walk away. I can do this.”
Ryan hesitated, then nodded and set Noah’s phone down on his nightstand. “Get the fuck in my bed and lay down. And do not touch your phone, no matter how much you want to. I’m taking that over tonight and you’re going to rest.” When Noah’s mouth fell open to protest, Ryan shook his head. “I’m not an idiot, I know you’re not going to sleep, but you are going to lay here quietly with someone who loves you, and tomorrow you’re going to face this moron down and tell him under no circumstances does he have power.”
Noah felt a crushing wave of gratitude for his friend, but it was all too much after the events of the last twenty-four hours. So instead of expressing himself, he merely nodded, climbed under the covers, and let Ryan’s arms fall around him. Ryan had been right—Noah was not sleeping—but at the very least, he’d get a few moments of peace.
14.
Adrian hit send on his final paper, waiting for the little ping to let him know the file had been accepted. He felt a moment of relief, then the crushing weight of the day hit him again, and he had to take several breaths to calm himself down. It was four in the morning, the sun wasn’t close to up yet, but he hadn’t been able to sleep more than twenty minutes at a stretch. He was plagued with nightmares—images from his past and images from his present coming together to form one gigantic, abstract monster threatening to suffocate him.
Eventually he gave up on trying and spent the rest of the early morning hours finishing up his final assignments for the semester. All he had left then was to sit his exams and then wait the handful of weeks that would be between his uncertain present and a hopeful future. Sixteen weeks of a term, then he would walk the stage, take his diploma in hand, and start his life again.
He had always known taking on this new endeavor, finding a life outside of the military with a body he was no longer familiar with, would be one of his biggest challenges. He had anticipated meeting with resistance along the way—people who didn’t understand him, people who were unwilling to allow him the space he needed to recover. Hell, even people who wouldn’t understand that his new normal was something that would last forever. But he hadn’t even begun to anticipate this.
He had always allowed himself a small glimmer of hope that he might meet someone and fall in love. Being gay in the marines had been hell in itself, trying to keep quiet even when it was technically acceptable, and he knew he would never be allowed to be completely open. Then he’d been injured and disfigured, and he’d come home to find his best friend creating a life for all of them where they could just be themselves.
He hadn’t been ready to meet someone when Noah walked into his life, but his heart was open to it. He had just started dropping his walls and feeling like maybe there was something to look forward to when it all came crashing down. It was just his luck and if it hadn’t been so fucking painful, he might have laughed.
All he could do now was comfort himself with the echo of Noah in his arms just hours before, and the determination in his lover’s face that he wouldn’t let one asshole get in their way. If Noah had been hesitant at all, if he hadn’t shown with every ounce of him that he was willing to take risks, Adrian would have fled. But it was the look on Noah’s face that set Adrian’s own expression into one of grim determination, and with his stubborn nature, he would give Noah that extra push he needed to make this work.
He just wasn’t sure he could take much more.
With a sigh, Adrian got to his feet, shuffling to the bathroom at a pace that frustrated him. The stress had taken its toll and he was pretty sure he’d be in his chair for most of the day, once he could get to it. He washed up, then grabbed his crutches and used the lift to reach the ground floor. He could hear sounds of the early morning, and he felt a moment of relief that Maggie was still with Wes’ mom and Adrian wouldn’t be expected to put on the face of happy uncle for a little while.
He found Anna and Wes in the kitchen talking quietly over coffee, Wes leaning on his walker which meant last night had been rough on him too for whatever reason. Anna got up from her stool to get a mug for Adrian’s tea, then pointed firmly to the bar stool at the end of the breakfast bar.
“Wes got bagels this morning,” she said, elbowing a paper bag toward him. “We figured you might be in need of some comfort food.”
Adrian sighed but didn’t deny it. He was normally strict about what he ate, especially in the mornings and especially when his muscles were weak, but right now he just wanted to wrap up in some carbs and let himself wallow.
“Did you hear from Noah last night?”
Adrian blinked at her, frowning. “You mean after he left?”
She exchanged a glance with her husband and Adrian immediately knew there was something they weren’t tell him. “We just know it was tense when he left last night.”
“I’m working it out,” he told her, his eyes narrowed. “Though feel free to explain what I don’t know yet.”
Anna bit down on her bottom lip, slightly to the left which was one of her tells, and he was prepared to leap to his feet—damn his legs—and pin her to the counter until she gave awa
y all her state secrets. “Ryan said there was some drama last night after they got back to his,” she finally said, clearly reading Adrian’s mood.
Adrian felt his heart sink toward his stomach and his shaking fingers curled around the paper bag full of food he now couldn’t even begin to stomach. “He didn’t say anything.” His voice came out flat, and he felt a momentary flash of irritation when he saw pity on his sister’s face.
“He will,” she said after a beat. “Ryan didn’t give us any details, he just said that there was some drama last night and that Noah was taking care of it this morning.”
As if the drama itself had been summoned, Adrian’s phone pinged with an email and he reached for it, ignoring his sister’s look. He saw the message was from the university online system and he swiped it open, his eyes registering the words before his brain caught up.
Flores, Adrian
Student ID: A289482
This is an automatic message to inform you that your account is currently disabled. A plagiarism investigation is pending on assignment number 0786. You will be contacted by a University Representative within 72 hours. If you do not hear from anyone by then, please call the number at the bottom of this email.
His ears buzzed, and when he looked up, he realized Anna and Wes were both trying to talk to him, but he couldn’t hear over the white-noise in his head. The phone fell to the counter, and the clatter was the first real sound that penetrated his shock.
“…going on. You look like you’re going to pass out. Do you need me to grab you a Xanax? Adrian, talk to me, please.”
His eyes lifted to meet the worried gaze of his sister. “I think I know what the drama is now. And I have no idea how the fuck Noah’s going to be able to fix it.”
***
Noah had never been sick in public. Even the drunkest most wild nights during his early university years, he’d never lost it. But reaching for the door handle outside of Fluted Friar, it was a close thing. It was five till nine and he could already see Charlie seated at the back of the café, a large cappuccino mug between his hands. He’d spotted Noah’s hesitance and his smirk widened, which made the twisting and churning in Noah’s stomach even worse.
But he wouldn’t give this man the satisfaction. He would not be cowed, would not be coerced, would not be tortured in his own life simply because Charlie was a man with no scruples and no ability to accept that someone didn’t want him. He straightened his shoulders, then pulled the door open and walked in.
Charlie made a sweeping gesture with his right hand toward the empty chair, and Noah took a few breaths as he crossed over in an attempt to keep his tongue from getting locked up. The last thing he wanted to do was let his brain injury dictate the way this conversation was going to go. He needed to be articulate, firm, and brave. The latter two could come easy, but the first…
“Did you want something to drink?” Charlie asked, much in the same tone as he would have asked at a staff meeting or casual lunch.
Noah almost balked at him, but instead shook his head. “M-my,” he started, then forced himself to breathe again. “My friend and I had an early breakfast this morning.”
“By friend, I’m assuming you don’t mean Adrian Flores,” Charlie said. Clearly he was ready to cut right to the heart of the matter.
“I mean Ryan,” Noah said, deliberate and slow. “You remember him? My ex?”
“Right. The lawyer,” Charlie said. There was a sneer in the words, but maybe just a flash of worry as he remembered Noah was not some nobody who couldn’t find backup if he needed it.
“I was at his place last night. But I’m not going into detail, you’re not here to make small talk,” Noah pointed out.
Charlie laughed quietly, shaking his head before taking a sip of his drink. “No, and of course I don’t want to torture your poor brain with having to get out too many words. I know how hard that is for you most days.”
Noah clenched his hands into fists but forced himself to stay silent.
After a beat, Charlie sighed. “When Trevor was let go after he was found in Thirsty’s grinding up on some junior Delta-Pi, I wasn’t really surprised. Hell, I don’t think any of us were.”
Noah was, though, and Charlie knew it. Charlie’s eyes lit up when he saw Noah’s visible shock.
“I mean, he was always depraved. I had the misfortune of having an office that looked directly into his, and trust me, I saw how frequently he was visited by certain students. He was not…discerning in his tastes. I was waiting for something like this to happen.” Charlie ran his ringer around the rim of his mug, then looked up at Noah. “You, on the other hand…”
Noah licked his lips, then said, “I am not involved in any situation that…”
“Don’t patronize me,” Charlie snapped. All the polite goodwill left his tone and it matched the coldness of his gaze. “You’ve been leading me on for years, Noah. Friendly, flirting, keeping me on the hook like there would be a time you were finally ready to get over your slut ex.”
Noah bristled. “I have never, ever led you to believe we would date.”
“You never told me no,” Charlie said through clenched teeth. “It was always some excuse. Recovering from your break-up, recovering from your accident. Did you ever once make it clear you weren’t into me?”
“Being friendly does not mean I was interested. I turned you down and regardless of the reason,” Noah stopped himself when he felt his tongue starting to stick. “Regardless of the r-reason, no should have b-been enough.”
Charlie looked murderous, then reached down to the side of his chair and came back up with a folder. “You made a fool out of me. And you did it with a relationship that is against university policy. Fucking some student will get you fired and him thrown out. We just watched it happen.”
He’s not some student, and we’re not just fucking, sat on the tip of his tongue. But Ryan had coached him very carefully not to confirm nor deny a word. Charlie seemed to understand Noah wouldn’t be defending himself or offering any explanation, so he flipped open his folder to reveal a stack of papers.
The first was a series of texts—screenshots and Noah immediately recognized them as his own.
“Where…?”
Charlie shrugged. “I know people too. I’m pretty sure sexting a student falls under the fraternization category. So, before you run your mouth about how I don’t have proof, let me assure you, I do.”
Noah felt panic creep up his spine, irrationally wanting to rip the papers away and light them on fire. The more logical side said that Charlie had nothing, that there was no way he could turn these in without revealing he had used illegal means to obtain them. His brain frantically searched for a time in the last few weeks where his phone had been out of his possession, but he came up blank.
“Not even going to ask me where I got them?” Charlie murmured.
Noah blinked at him. “Why don’t you tell me what you want first? Clearly you have these and clearly you want to use them for something.”
Charlie’s grin widened, making him look twisted and ugly. Noah had thought he was attractive once, but he couldn’t imagine finding him so now. “I’m taking your classes. You can keep Greek, obviously we don’t have anyone who can fill that in. But you’re taking a step down, you’re removing your name for consideration for tenure. You’ll be telling Lowe that he was right, that your disability has made you unfit for fulltime work and you’d like to pass your lecture classes on to me.”
Noah blinked at him, and a stress-induced laugh ripped from his chest. “The hell I will. There’s no way those texts are admissible evidence anywhere. Hacking is also illegal, you asshole.”
Charlie shrugged, then flipped the pages of text over to reveal something that looked like an email. “You’re not wrong, I didn’t get those on the up-and-up, but I still have friends. And I know you care about Mr. Flores.”
Noah’s eye scanned the page and he wasn’t entirely sure what he was reading. “Is that…”
/> “Proof of plagiarism?” Charlie asked with a shrug, then shut the folder. “It is. Like I said, I have friends too. And you might have me by the balls with the texts, but I have him by his entire future with this. I’m not sure he’s going to feel very friendly toward you if you get him expelled and banned from any university worth a salt. Especially if it makes viral news that a former marine cheated his way through college. Then the text messages might not be admissible in a hearing, but the public is a pretty decent jury in itself.”
Noah felt his throat tighten, his stomach threatening to unleash what little he’d been able to stomach that morning. “And if I comply?” he said, his jaw aching from clenching his teeth. “I’m not an idiot, Charlie. I know it doesn’t end there. What the fuck do you even get out of this besides classes you don’t even want to teach.”
“Satisfaction,” he said with a shrug. “I get satisfaction after being humiliated by some one-eyed gimp who can’t even string together a full lecture without stuttering that I was right, that he isn’t competent enough to hold down this job. That maybe it wasn’t you who rejected me, after all.”
Noah’s entire face was burning with rage, shame, humiliation, and fear. He’d faced a lot of strange looks, a lot of pity, even discrimination from the higher ups when it came to his brain injury. But he’d never faced cruelty like this before. “And if I do this, you leave Adrian alone? You’ll retract whatever the hell you did to his paper?”
Charlie sighed, circling the rim of his mug with his finger once more before finishing off the dredges. “You have to stop seeing him.”
Noah let out a barking laugh. “You think I’m seeing him? He’s a student, Charlie. Even if we had once entertained the idea of something more than friendship, the moment I learned the truth, it was over.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. What they had before all this was over. Now it was new, and secret, and dangerous. Now it became something wholly terrifying because Charlie was revealing the truth about who he was, and it was not good.