by E M Lindsey
Ryan frowned, then reached up and touched his face. “Your boyfriend has a pretty amazing right hook.”
Noah sat up straight, abandoning his glass to the floor and paid no mind to the spread of amber liquid soaking into the carpet. “You saw Adrian? God, did he look hot? He is so hot.”
Ryan chuckled and pushed Noah back to the cushions. “Yes, I saw him. We were worried and waiting for you to call, so we went a few rounds in the ring. He kicked my ass, just like he warned me he was going to do. Also, he’s fucking head over heels for you, Noah, so you need to tell me what’s going on.”
Noah dragged both hands down his face with a groan, then rubbed hard at his blind socket. “Charlie happened. That fucking scum of the earth shai-getz.” He rubbed his face again, then let his head fall back. “I had to quit three classes.”
“What?” Ryan asked, loud enough to draw Noah’s gaze. “You what?”
Noah shrugged. “He…fucked up. He fucked it all up. Hurt Adrian, fucked up his paper tried to…”
“He told me about the plagiarism investigation.”
Noah curled his hands into fists, and he felt some of his anger take the edge off his inebriation. That was the last thing he wanted right then. “He said I had to quit. He had screen caps of our texts, Ryan.” He closed his eyes. “M’so drunk. So drunk. I’m not stuttering. I should be drunk all the time. Look ma, no stutter!” He threw up his hands without opening his eyes, and he felt Ryan take his wrists again.
“No one who cares about you minds the stutter,” Ryan said softly. “Tell me what else.”
Noah sighed, feeling exhausted all of a sudden, and he turned his head to look at Ryan properly. “He told me he’d go public with everything, ruin Adrian’s chances at starting a business if I didn’t give him my classes. I’m keeping Greek, but that’s it. He made me tell Dr. Lowe that he was right, that I was unfit to be a fulltime teacher. Made me humiliate myself to make up for him feeling humiliated because the disabled guy rejected him.”
Ryan made a growling noise in the back of his throat and released Noah’s wrists. “Noah…”
“Don’t,” Noah said, waving his hand. “It’s done. It’s just…done. So, I’ll just…teach my Greek and Adrian will graduate and that’s…it.” His eyes started to close. He didn’t like the dark. Sometimes he was terrified he’d wake up from sleep and suddenly the rest of his vision would be gone. But he was so, so tired.
He felt a hand on his face, then Ryan eased him down to the pillows and put his feet up. “This isn’t over. He’s not going to stop with just this, Noah.”
Noah rolled onto his side and groped until Ryan’s hand found his. “I think I’m in love with Adrian and I just…I can’t lose him. I can do this for him. I don’t care about the fucking university. I don’t care if I had to prove Lowe right. He was never going to believe in me anyway.”
Ryan pushed Noah’s hair back from his forehead. “I’m not going to let him do this to you, Noah.”
Noah shrugged. “S’long as Adrian’s okay…” He felt sleep tugging at him, and he couldn’t find a good reason to resist it.
16.
Adrian felt like he was about to lose it completely. He hadn’t slept in eleven days, hadn’t heard a word from Noah or Ryan, hadn’t seen a glimpse of them, and neither Wes nor his sister seemed to know anything. He’d spent more days in the last week and a half taking his emergency Xanax and sitting in the corner of his closet with Lemon than he had in years.
He managed to scrape by on his finals, his professors posting his final grades of low Bs and high Cs for the last exam. It wasn’t the best semester, but he felt it was a little bit of a triumph considering how it ended. His proposal still went ignored, but his papers had all been accepted without incident. He’d seen Charlie Barnes only once, and it had taken every ounce of his self-restraint not to cross the courtyard and lay the guy out. He hadn’t seen Adrian then, but he walked with the same arrogance, the same smirk, saying hi to students he’d clearly fooled into thinking he was a good guy.
Adrian wanted to make him suffer, make him feel every moment of pain he’d felt since all this had fallen on his shoulders. He didn’t know what was happening now, and he had no idea what the future held for him and Noah. Maybe this was it. Maybe the silence was Noah’s way of saying he was willing to pay the price for Adrian’s career as a student, but that was all he was willing to give.
His heart was aching, and he wanted to curl up in his bed and just not get out again.
Still, he couldn’t let himself do it. He was better than that, braver than that. He’d survived his body being shredded and burned, survived months in the hot desert, on little food, little water, and the threat of capture. He could survive a little heartbreak.
It was with that in mind he was waiting for Anna to drop off Maggie. Anna was officially pregnant now, only a few weeks, but she was over the moon about it and wanted to celebrate with Wes. Adrian agreed to take his niece for the day, heading up north to the aquarium, then to a movie, then to lunch before heading back down. He honestly needed the day more than anything. Sitting still and thinking about Noah was doing him no good.
“Tiyooooo!”
Adrian laughed as he opened his door and the small whirlwind breezed past him. Her dark hair was tied down her back in two plaits, and she was wearing space-themed leggings and a thick, furry sweater that made her look like half a marshmallow. She grinned at him, then launched herself at Lemon who hadn’t been strapped into her vest and put to work just yet.
Anna came up a moment later, looking a little green around the edges. “Sorry,” she said, leaning in to kiss Adrian’s cheek. “It’s a little early for morning sickness but my body decided to ignore that memo.”
Adrian’s brows furrowed. “Shit. Do you need anything?”
She waved her hand at him. “No. Trust me, it’s fine. Wes is getting me a frozen lemonade while I’m dropping off the monster, then we’re going to have a chill day. Just don’t stuff her full of sugar before you get back. I cannot handle that right now.”
Normally Adrian would have tormented her with the possibility of dropping off a slightly sugar-manic toddler, but he could see how exhausted she was, and he really wasn’t in the mood for joking. “Don’t worry, she’ll eat at least three green things today that are not made out of corn syrup.”
“Thank you. Maggie, mahal, come give me a hug!”
Maggie jumped up and threw herself into her mother’s arms. “Bye mama.”
“Be good for your uncle, you hear me?” she ordered. “No misbehaving.”
“Kay!” She rushed back to the dog and Adrian gave her a smile before showing his sister to the door.
“And you,” Anna said, taking his arm, “cheer up.”
Adrian sighed. “I’m getting there. I promise. I just wish…”
“I know,” she said softly. “And I promise if he shows up, if he calls, anything, I will let you know.” She gave him a kiss on the cheek, then headed out.
When he closed the door, he affected an expression far happier than he felt, clapped his hands, then turned to his niece. “Ready to go pet some stingrays?”
Maggie shot to her feet with a squeal. “Yes!”
***
Two hours and twenty minutes later, one irritated toddler, one dog anxious to relieve himself, and one ex-marine on the cusp of hangry arrived at the aquarium parking lot. Adrian pulled up to the disabled parking spot near the front, then fetched his manual chair out of the back so he’d be able to keep up with Maggie’s pace. He was oddly grateful for Wes’ own disability, which had taught Maggie early on the essentials of wheelchair etiquette and how not to run off from her guardian.
She didn’t think twice about it, either, just grabbed Lemon’s leash to keep the dog near where Adrian was wheeling himself. It wasn’t his choice method, but the stress of the last two weeks had taken a toll on his body as well as his emotions and his mind, and today was gearing up to be just as long as the others.
The woman gave him The Look, the one full of pity and confusion, and when her eyes flickered over to Lemon, he thought she was about to protest the dog’s entry. Then she seemed to notice the vest, and the bold black letters reading Service Animal, and she sighed, swiping his card and presenting the tickets.
“Do we pay here for the stingray feeding?” he asked as Maggie skipped over with Lemon close at her heels.
“They have a booth inside,” the woman said. “Do you need an escort?”
Adrian scowled. “No, thanks. We’ve got this.” He held the door for Maggie, then gave the woman a look before pushing himself through. His irritation melted away the moment they entered the lobby. It was vast, a domed ceiling, each wall covered in aquarium glass with schools of brightly colored fish swimming. Maggie was just as entranced, her mouth hanging half-open, stepping close to Adrian’s leg.
“I wanna…I wanna swim wiff the fish,” she told him.
He laughed and tugged on the end of her braid. “I don’t think so. We’re going to look, and maybe even pet some of the creatures, but there is absolutely no climbing into any water. Am I clear?”
She pouted. “But…”
“Magdalena,” he scolded.
She sighed and flopped her arms down, head lolling back on her shoulders. “Fine,” she groaned. “You never…let me haff some fun!”
“Yes, I’m an absolute tyrant. Now, let’s go see the sharks first, and then we can check the stingray feeding schedule, okay?”
That immediately tore her out of her mood, and it was all he could do to keep up with her fast pace.
***
The aquarium had a low turn-out, being the middle of the morning on a Wednesday, which was a blessing in itself. There were small children running around, but the volume was quiet, and Maggie was more interested in looking and making up stories about fish families to tell Lemon than she was trying to run off.
Still, looking after a three-year-old was exhausting, and when they made it into the children’s play room with crafts and toys, Adrian sagged back in the chair, grateful for the reprieve. He set Lemon down near his left wheel and waved Maggie on to go run through some of the interactive ceiling lights that made it look like she was chasing off schools of fish. He took a few pictures for Anna and Wes, and as he was putting his phone away, he heard a soft voice speak behind him.
“Adrian.” It was a near whisper, but he would have known it anywhere. His heart was hammering against his ribs as he took his wheel and shifted to see Noah standing there.
He looked almost terrified, thinner if that was at all possible, and pale. He had his arms hugging his middle, his tight jeans looking delicious, a sweater so large it hung off one shoulder. His hair was brushed but unstyled, and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days.
“What are you doing here?” Adrian asked, his voice far more gruff than he intended.
Noah flinched. “My brother is in town. He wanted to go, but he fucked off with his girlfriend.” He let out a sigh, letting his arms flop to the sides, then he curled his hands into fists. “You uh…you’ve got Maggie.”
Adrian gestured toward the middle of the floor where Maggie was lining up stuffed fish in a row. “Yeah. Anna’s pregnant, she needed a day off, so I volunteered.” His head was spinning, having Noah close enough to touch but without any idea if he was allowed to reach out for him. His hands burned, his body aching to feel Noah pressed up against him.
Clearing his throat, Noah shuffled a few steps closer. “Are you okay?”
Adrian frowned. “Considering the circumstances,” he started, but then realized what Noah was talking about. He gave the wheel a pat. “I had no idea how big this place was going to be, and I can’t run after her fast enough on my crutches.”
“I get it,” Noah said softly. “Fuck. It’s so g-good to see you.” His voice cracked at the end, his stammer making a quick appearance.
“You haven’t called,” Adrian said.
Noah’s gaze flickered away for a second. “We agreed it was better if I…I wasn’t sure if I should…” He cleared his throat. “I haven’t seen Ryan much, and I was afraid Charlie was watching the gym.”
Adrian felt that burning hot anger in his chest again, furious that this pompous, piece of shit man could come between them like this. “I miss you,” he admitted. He decided his pride could take the hit, even if Noah decided now was a good time to end it for good. “I fucking miss you, and I’ve been worried out of my mind.”
Noah bit his lip, both eyes going bright with tears, and he had to look away. “I…me too. So much. This has been one of the worst weeks of my life and that’s saying something.”
Adrian couldn’t help his laugh. “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I wasn’t sure if you were just done, if you couldn’t take the pressure or…”
“No,” Noah interrupted, closing the distance between them. He dropped to his knees beside the chair and finally, finally, took Adrian’s hand. “I just got him off my back, but Ryan pointed out that guys like him never stop at the first thing. There’s always more, and I didn’t want to give him another reason to target you.”
Adrian turned his hand so their palms pressed together, and he tugged Noah as close as he could get with the metal wheel between them. “You promised me time away. I need that. If I’m going to survive barely seeing you over the next sixteen weeks, you have to give me something.”
Noah’s eyes looked bright again, but this time it wasn’t with pain. “You still want that?”
“Fuck yes I do,” Adrian said. “Talk to Ryan. We can figure it out through him. Wes’ family has some private property up north—it’s gated, right on the edge of a lake. No one can get to it without a code. I don’t care who the fuck that asshole thinks he knows, he can’t get in there. I’ll talk to him when I drop off Mags and see what we can do.”
“That would be,” Noah said, but fell quiet when a small figure popped up on Adrian’s other side. “Hi there,” he told her.
Maggie cocked her head to the side. “You haff pretty eyes.”
Noah looked startled. “Oh. Thank you.”
Right then, Lemon lifted from her place on the floor and walked into Noah’s side, putting her head against his thigh. He laughed and scrubbed her ears. “She likes you,” Maggie pointed out.
Noah gave the dog a small, one-armed hug. “I like her too.”
She nodded, satisfied by his answer. “I wanna feed the fishies, tiyo. Can we? Can weeeee?”
Adrian laughed and pulled his hand from Noah’s. “I promised a stingray feeding.”
Noah smiled softly. “Would you mind some company. I think my brother and his girlfriend are making out in some corner somewhere. I have no doubt they’re going to be arrested for indecent exposure and I’ll be on my own for a ride home.”
Adrian chuckled. “I have room in my car.” They both sobered quickly when they realized that would be playing with fire, but Adrian refused to retract the statement. They were two and a half hours away, in another city. They could have this. They were allowed this time together. “Come on, smelly shrimp is all on me.”
***
Noah was still reeling from seeing Adrian at the aquarium, sitting there in his wheelchair watching his niece dancing around to motion lights. He wasn’t sure if the universe hated him or loved him at that moment, but he’d gotten to brush his lips along Adrian’s, to feel Adrian’s fingers brush along his cheeks before moving to the next room, and Noah considered that a small token of reprieve.
Part of him wanted to run away. Charlie had instilled a paranoia so intense, so powerful, he felt compelled to look over his shoulder at every turn like maybe he was being followed. He had refused Charlie’s demand that he never see Adrian again, but on
ly under the pretense that he wasn’t seeing him in the first place. There was no telling what Charlie could get him to do if he was found out.
But, he reminded himself, they were two hours and a full city away from home. If Charlie was having him followed, Noah would take drastic action because he might be willing to give up work and give him his freedom under the bastard’s watchful eye on campus, but not here. He would take sanctuary wherever he could get it.
A touch at his wrist startled him, and he saw Adrian looking up at him with a small smile. “The stingray feeding isn’t for another hour. Want to hit up the café? I think Mags is getting restless.”
Noah glanced over at the three-year-old who was pressing her face right up against where an octopus was stuck to its tank and he smiled. “Yeah. Before she decides to make her own sushi.”
Adrian led the way to the little Coral Reef Café and Noah was pleased to note it was nearly empty. Adrian gestured to a collection of tables near the play area, then gave Maggie a pat on her back. “Go on and Mr. Avidan and I will get lunch.”
“I want peanut butter!” she cried, then ran off to the little plastic slide shaped like a whale’s back.
Adrian rolled his eyes and wheeled to the counter where a bored teen was tapping away on her phone. When Adrian cleared his throat, she looked up, then down, and blushed. “Sorry, sir,” she said.
Adrian shook his head and gestured for Noah to come up. “Whatever you want, it’s on me.”
Noah wanted to protest, but he didn’t want to make a scene, so he ordered the first salad he could find and went to snag a couple of water bottles from the cooler. Adrian paid for everything, then they moved to a table where he parked his wheelchair and moved to sit next to Noah in the hard plastic chairs, settling Lemon at his feet.
After some hesitation, their hands rested on the table top and linked together. “I’m still in shock you’re here,” Noah confessed. He rubbed his thumb along a callous on the side of Adrian’s finger. “I was trying to figure out a way to get in touch with you, but I just…it was so…”