Bulletproof (Healer)

by April Smyth

  Channing starts to cry, he makes this look beautiful too, so the conversation dies. Justin returns with keys and a concerned expression for his brother. He looks at me as if to say ‘what did you do to him?’ and wraps his arms around his brother in a full embrace. I long for this kind of companionship. I love my brother and sister but I’ll always be estranged from them.

  We don’t talk much after that. Channing collects his composure. We find the right car and drive off. I can’t help but keep looking behind us. Expecting Maurice’s ugly face, the one from Gabe’s tattoo, to pop up beside me.

  I try to sleep again but my mind is too busy. When will I know that Rose and Gabe are safe? A minute with Maurice can cost you your life and it’s been hours since we left them.

  The phone rings. Justin answers it and I listen intently to his voice, “Hi... are you okay?... yes of course... and what about Maurice?... ok...” he speaks solemnly that it doesn’t sound like good news. Was it Rose or Gabe he was speaking to? Or maybe it was Angelica beckoning the brothers back to Toulouse? If that was the case, would I have to return too?

  “Who was it?” I ask desperately.

  “Rose...”

  “Thank God!” at least she’s alive. “What did she say?”

  We are pulling up to her house. It looks strange to me like it’s somewhere I visited in a dream. I wasn’t the same person when I was last here. I knew nothing of danger. I’ve seen too much now.

  “She’s okay,” he says, opening my door.

  “And Gabe?”

  “He’s alive,” is all Justin says. His words unnerve me. He’s alive but is he okay? Is he safe? I want to see his face for myself and know that he is alright.

  Channing let us in with the key Rose gave him and once we are all inside locks it again as if a house lock would keep a vampire away. Again, we all just want to feel like we are doing all we can to protect ourselves. Nobody wants to be rendered completely helpless.

  “Is he okay?” my questions become frantic. “Where are they? Is Maurice alive? Are they with Maurice? Have they escaped? Are we safe here? Where should we go next? When can I speak to my dad?” I’m exhausted by the time the last word leaves my mouth. All the blood loss has beaten me down, I collapsed onto the couch.

  Channing and Justin are at either side of me making sure I don’t die on them. One fetches water, the other helps me out of the constricting clothes suitable for Melissa Curele and covers me in a fluffy blanket. “Will one of you answer me please,” I say in a whisper.

  “They’ve managed to escape,” Channing begins and Justin picks up, “They’ve staked Maurice pretty bad, riddled him with wood. They’ve taken all your blood bags so he can’t drink anymore and now they’re driving to find Arrow, a witch, who can maybe help them...”

  “But they’re okay?”

  “Rose is. She says Gabe is pretty bad. He’s had Maurice’s blood and it’s poisoning him. It will continue to poison him for about a week until it kills him then he’ll wake up... he’ll be one of them... Who knows what Rose will do then.” Channing shakes his head with despair.

  I start to cry. My worst fears have been realised. Gabe is going to die then become a creature like Maurice. It’s too late. Justin continues, “Rose has spoken to Arrow on the phone and she says to keep feeding Gabe your blood until they get there. It’s not clear but maybe Healer blood can help him.”

  “What happens when Maurice wakes up?” Channing asks.

  Justin shrugs, “He’ll be mad. And he’s got enough of Cassie’s blood so he can walk in the sunlight. He’ll go looking for Rose and Gabe first and then us. We have some time.”

  “When can I see them? Rose and Gabe.” I want to see Gabe’s face in his last days. Justin and Channing remain silent.

  I have nothing more to discuss with Channing and Justin for now. I head up to the room where I slept when I was last at Rose’s. It hasn’t been touched since. There is an empty glass sitting on the bed side cabinet, an unread book on the floor. The clothes I’d bought with Rose still lay in the drawers waiting. How long has it been since I was last here? A few days? A few weeks? Or a lifetime? And when will Rose next open the door to her own home? Will she ever get the chance again?

  TWENTY-ONE

  Rose’s scent fills every crevice of this home. It encompasses me as I put on a pair of silk pyjamas. I hope they find Arrow soon and can come home. I don’t know anything about witches; they haven’t been publicised anywhere. There has been speculation of their existence, along with werewolves and fairies, but now I know all that was once a fairytale is real life. I just hope Arrow is a competent witch and can perform some sort of extraction spell on Gabe before he turns into a vampire. And find some way to kill Maurice.

  I take comfort in knowing that Gabe is taking my blood and that is helping somehow. Distance can’t stop me from trying to save him. I will always be rescuing him somehow.

  Knowing that I’m closer to my family also keeps me sane. I’m only a few hours driving away from a hug from little Jana, from hearing Bruce’s giggle, from watching Shannon dance in the kitchen. Most importantly I am so close to wrapping my arms around my dad’s neck and telling him I’m sorry over and over again. I’ll spend the rest of my life apologising to him for what I’ve put him through this past month. I will never be able to make it okay.

  I have almost dozed off, thinking about all the things I will do and say when I make it home, when Justin knocks on the door. “Come in,” I croak.

  He hands me the phone, “It’s Rose.”

  I stare at the phone in my hand and feel as though I don’t remember how it works anymore. My hands shakes as I bring it against my ear. Justin leaves to give me privacy. “Hello?”

  “Cassie,” Rose’s voice is so light and airy that it would be impossible to guess everything she’s been through. “Are you alright?”

  “I’m fine! Are you?” I ask.

  “I’m good. We managed to leave before Maurice woke up again. We staked him as much as we could. We tried to cut him to drain him of the blood, try to get your blood out his system, but he healed too quickly,” she explains. “Angelica and the rest of the staff have left too so hopefully they can make a good run for it. There’s no way of knowing how long he’ll be down for. It’s pretty much a guessing game but we’ve almost arrived at Arrow’s.”

  I haven’t soaked in most of what she is saying. It’s selfish but currently I don’t care about Angelica or the rest of the staff at Maurice’s home. I just want to know if Gabe is okay and what is going to happen to him next. “And Gabe?”

  “He’s with me right now,” Rose says. “He’s asleep.”

  “Oh I don’t want to wake him then,” I lie. He can sacrifice a moment’s sleep to speak to me. I need to hear his voice.

  “He’s running low, Cassie, but I’m trying my best,” Rose sounds concerned. If Rose can’t remain positive then what hope do I have?

  I gulp, “Is my blood working?”

  “Arrow seems to think it will help fight against Maurice’s blood inside of him. She said it might dilute it enough to slow down the change by a few days. At least that way she has more time to figure out how to fix it,” Rose says.

  “Can she? Do you think she can stop him from turning?”

  There is a heavy silence from the other end of the phone then Rose says, “I hope so.” I don’t want to ask Rose what will happen if Gabe turns because I know it will be gruesome and I don’t want to hear it. Maybe she could take him to America where vampires can thrive so much easier. More likely, she might have to figure out a way kill him, stake him with wood or something, so he can’t hurt anyone, so he isn’t a danger. He wouldn’t want to be a vampire. Then I remember that my blood is in his system so for the first few days, weeks, months, he will be an indestructible newborn.

  “You should stay at my house tonight,” Rose says. “I know it’s hard but try not to worry. We’ll be with Arrow soon and she’s a very powerful witch, Cassie, she’s good at what she do
es. I’ll phone you in the morning with her verdict.”

  “Okay,” I say gently. I know that Rose will do everything in her power to keep Gabe alive, to keep Maurice away and to make sure I can return to my family with peace of mind. If she fails, it won’t be for a lack of trying.

  “Right well sleep tight, Cassie,” she replies. “Everything is going to be fine.” There is another silence. I wonder if she is watching Gabe with fond eyes, hoping her best friend won’t die on her. Gabe understood Rose and she never knew why. He is rude and angry, smokes and drinks, wears grungy clothes. She is bubbly, happy and stunningly beautiful. She’s radiant and people want to be with her yet it is the lonely, brooding boy that she connects with.

  “Rose?”

  “Yes, Cassie?”

  “If all of this goes wrong, I just want to say thank you and want you to know that you’re probably the best friend I’ve ever had, the only friend I’ve ever had I guess,” I warble. “Just know that I love you, Rose and let Gabe know that too.”

  Rose is crying now. She shouldn’t be crying and talking to me while driving. I want her to at least make it to Arrow’s safely. “Cassie, stop talking like I’m going to die. We will see each other soon I promise,” there is a silence as we both think about whether she is lying or not. “But I love you too, Cassie, you’ve shown me a lot about myself over these past few weeks, shown me the girl I used to be, who I want to be again.”

  Another silence. “And Gabe loves you too, Cassie,” she says through her cries.

  We leave it there. I try to sleep but it seems impossible so I go for a shower to wash the blood off of my skin. I check my wounds in the mirror. I am healing better now but there are still scars where Maurice plunged needles into me. It’s odd to see the pink marks . I am so used to endless unmarked white skin but it doesn’t repulse me. I look real now. The way a human should. Flawed.

  The warm water has soothed me slightly. Channing comes up with food. They clearly have never had to cook for themselves before. The rice is hard and and gritty, sticking between my teeth, and the sauce coating the chicken is lumpy. I have to give them points for trying. They’re out of their comfort zones tonight. Ordinarily Miriam cooks their dinners. I wonder if Miriam has escaped and found a place to hide. Once Maurice has dealt with Rose and Gabe then me, he will turn to the employees who have deserted him. They know too much and can’t be left out in the open for any length of time. I’m surprised they all agreed to leave knowing that it was a death wish. Perhaps they all feel the same: death is better than a life with Maurice. Not even people like Angelica and Chec, people who repulsed me, want or deserve that miserable existence.

  It takes a while but I eventually fall asleep and I don’t wake up until the blinding sunlight is pouring into the bedroom. It takes me five minutes to adjust to where I am because for the first while I have forgotten all about the last few weeks. Maurice and Gabe and Rose for the first time in a long time are not at the forefront of my mind. Then reality crashes into my like a ten-tonne truck.

  Sleep has given my body time to heal. The scars from the needles have disappeared now. My skin is glowing once again, any signs of the horror I’ve faced are completely gone. I wish the memories could fade just as quickly.

  Waiting for Rose to call is like standing on a rooftop and staring down at the city. I look down, knowing that time is passing somewhere for some people - the day goes on for these people - but I am frozen in an eternal minute - nervous, silent, about to jump into the unknown, unsure if I’ll survive the ordeal.

  It is Channing that comes to the door with the phone in his hand. He mouths the words, “Good luck.” Before handing it over to me, this is it. I have to jump.

  “Rose?”

  “Cassie,” her normally breezy voice is shaken. Bad news. “We’re with Arrow.”

  “And? Can she help Gabe? Can she help us?”

  “She can...”

  “So what’s the problem?” I ask.

  There’s a pause, leaving nothing but the sound of our nervous breathing, before Rose says, “Arrow can perform a spell which will reverse the transformation Gabe is undergoing but she’s never done it before, there’s no way of knowing what might happen...”

  “What? It might kill him?” I ask, gasping for a breath when I say the words aloud. I would rather Gabe was alive as a vampire than not living at all. I can’t imagine the world without him now that so much of my life is filled with him.

  Rose gulps, “No. It won’t kill him or at least Arrow is sure it won’t.”

  “So what is the problem then? Rose? Spit it out,” I say angrily. Being so far away is putting me in such a helpless position. I want to be with him, with a soothing hand against his feverish forehead. He’s dying right now. His human life is slowly ebbing away from him. I should be there.

  She clears her throat hesitantly. It can’t be worse than the finality of death. “She’ll be taking away every essence of vampirism out of his body,” Rose says, “An extraction spell like we hoped but in doing so other things might be removed too.”

  “Like what?” I ask as long as he is alive and safe I don’t care what happens.

  “His memories...”

  I take a moment to process what she is saying. Arrow can stop Maurice’s blood from infecting him, take away the poison which is turning him into a vampire, a monster, so Gabe can remain a human and get his life back on track. He can sober up, be happy, leave a life of vampires and witches behind him but what else does he forfeit? Any memory of Rose and her kindness. His love story with Claire. He will forget his bravery, and his ignorance and cowardice. He’ll forget me too. I will never have existed to him. He won’t know that I care about him, that I love him despite knowing the burdens he carries on his shoulders. He will have no recollection of the kiss we shared or any of our fights which have lead us both to this moment.

  “Is he awake? Does he know what’s happening?” I ask, would this be easier if he can slip away in sleep?

  “He’s aware, yes,” Rose says quietly.

  “What does he want to do?” I ask.

  “He doesn’t want to be a vampire,” Rose replies which is a tactful way to say he has made his decision. He is giving up our memories, our love, so he doesn’t have to live an immortal life as a killer. “He doesn’t want to lose you either, Cassie,” she adds as an afterthought.

  I saw how tormented Gabe was after watching Claire, the girl he adored, lose all her memories. It is, after all, our experiences - good and bad - that make us who we are, shape us into the people that our family and friends love and care about. To lose our memory is to become an empty vessel. Now he is forcing me to go through the same pain he endured with Claire. I can’t bear the thought.

  “We have to do it, Cass,” Rose says sounding weepy. This is as difficult for her as it is for me if not more so. She has known Gabe for years. She’s fought to save him from the depths of depression to make him the good man I know he can be for much longer than I have. Will all of her efforts amount to nothing? If Arrow takes away his memories Rose will lose one of her best friends. She won’t have much left. “We can’t let him become a monster like Maurice.”

  “But what if he doesn’t?” I say, convincing myself that losing his mind is equal to losing him completely. “What if he can fight it? And be good? I read about some vampires in America...”

  “Really? After all of this you’re going to believe the bullshit the newspapers feed you about those vampires? They’re all bad; they just cover it up over there so people can sleep at night. Vampires need human blood to survive and they are going to kill to get it. He would kill you, Cassie. He won’t care about you other than for your blood.”

  “But it’s Gabe, Rose,” I say. I sound manic, “It’s Gabe. We can’t just give up.”

  “I would do it for you too,” Rose says solemnly and I have to force myself to understand. Losing Gabe is going to hurt badly. He won’t know I am or remember anything of the past month but at least he’ll be
alive, he’ll a human who can love another, feel compassion, grow old and have a family. Those are the things I feared that, in his darkness, he would never accomplish and by giving my blessing I can give him the gift of life. But what if I don’t? Will they carry on against my will and rip Gabe cruelly from my arms before I’ve even begun to hold him?

  “It isn’t certain though, Cass. Arrow says there’s a chance his memories could stay in tact,” Rose says but I am not convinced. She is basically asking me to say my last goodbye, Rose doesn’t believe there’s a chance that Gabe will survive the extraction spell with his memories unscathed.

  I take a deep breath, “When will Arrow do the spell?”

  “The sooner the better really,” she mumbles.

  I feel fresh tears sting my worn out eyes. “Can I speak to him before then?” I ask. I am saying goodbye before I had the chance to say hello.

  “If you want to,” Rose says. “It’ll be hard though. I wish I wasn’t here to watch it but he needs a friend while he’s still got one.”

  “He’d want you to be there, Rose,” I say, dabbing my wet cheeks. I wonder if he wants me there too. Through his delirium, is he shouting out my name? Does he wish Claire could be holding his hand? Or is vodka his only lover for the night?

  Rose is crying now. My only two friends in the world are hurting at the other side of the world and there’s nothing I can do about it. To make matters worse, I have to live with the guilt that it is all my fault. I’m supposed to be a Healer, I should be making their pain go away, not causing more hurt.

  “And what about me, Rose? What do I do now?”

  “Go home,” Rose sniffs.

  “Just like that? Walk through the door and call ‘honey I’m home’ as if I’ve not been away for a month, as if none of this has happened? Somehow I doubt my dad will deal with that,” I say.

  “At least you have a home to go to, Cassie,” she says. “My brother doesn’t even know who I am. My parents are dead. Roald is probably married now.”