Saving Me (Finding You #3)

by Amanda Mackey

  Normally I would have relished the idea of seeing something other than four sterile walls but today the small room brought with it a certain amount of comfort. Safety and solitude.

  It wasn’t long before a drowsiness took hold from the medication. I welcomed it with open arms and let myself drift away to my dark sanctuary.

  Chapter

  Twenty-Nine

  Kyle

  After x-rays revealed my knee was fractured across the center, I was taken to surgery, where I underwent a two hour operation which involved inserting pins and screws to help hold the knee in place so it could knit back together properly.

  Lying in the recovery room had stolen an hour of my time, then I’d been wheeled into a private room in the ward.

  There wasn’t much pain due to the anesthetic and pain killers still in my system, which I was grateful for.

  Looking at the set of metal drawers to my left, I leaned up on an elbow and turned to open the drawers, searching for my cell.

  It had been placed in the top drawer along with my wallet and neatly folded clothes, which were still covered in dirt.

  Pulling my cell out, I figured now was as good a time as any to call my father and let him know what was going on.

  It rang three times before being answered.

  “Son?”

  “Hi, Dad.”

  “Jesus, son! What’s been going on? Your mother and I have been nervous wrecks.”

  “I’m sorry I haven’t called. I’ve just returned from recovery.”

  “What happened to your knee and why did you need surgery? I got your text. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, Dad. I’m fine. They inserted some pins to hold it together. I kinda got into a fight with John.”

  I could hear Dad take a deep breath and let it out. “Damn, Kyle. What happened? Where’s Dakota?”

  “She’s here. Apparently she’s okay. I haven’t been allowed to see her yet. I’m going to try and rectify that today.”

  “Okay, good. You said John was dead. How? Did the police shoot him?”

  I rubbed a hand through my hair and then over my face, trying to figure out how I was going to tell my father that I’d killed John.

  “Son?”

  “No.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He managed to escape the police so I took chase.”

  Silent questions hung in the air. I could feel them and picture my father’s expression. “Okay.”

  “I killed him, Dad. I took the son of a bitch out and I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

  Dad didn’t hesitate. “You did what you had to, son. It was you or him. Do you need me to call Mike to handle this? Have you given a statement to the police yet?”

  “No. I guess they’ve been waiting for me to be treated. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but just hold off on calling Mike for a bit.”

  “I’m coming up there, Kyle. Cheryl will be fine here with Daniel.”

  “How is he?” It was the million dollar question. Daniel was too smart not to be worried.

  “He’s doing okay, considering. We’ve tried to keep him busy but he’s been a little quiet. It’s to be expected, I guess.”

  “Hmm. Yeah, well, tell Mom not to come up here with him. I want him as far away from this as possible. The media will be all over it.”

  “I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it’s been on all the news channels and has made the front page of the LA Times this morning.”

  “Shit. That’s the last thing I need right now. I really don’t feel like dealing with any of this.”

  “Leave it to me. I’ll handle it. Meanwhile, don’t say a word until I get there, okay?”

  “Yeah, thanks, Dad. I appreciate it.”

  “You just worry about yourself and Dakota. I’ll see you when I get there.”

  “Oh, and Dad?”

  “Yes, son?”

  “Could you bring me a change of clothes?”

  There was a moment of silence as if Dad was thinking. “Done. I’m leaving yesterday.”

  I hung up, suddenly feeling exhausted. A nurse walked in and that was the last thing I remembered.

  Chapter Thirty

  Dakota

  I awoke to a cold tray of food beside the bed. I was curious as to what it was even though I wasn’t hungry. Cold toast, cereal, juice, and a plate with a silver cover. I lifted it to reveal cold scrambled eggs with bacon and tomatoes.

  Ugh. Just the smell of it had me heaving. The orange juice was all my stomach could handle.

  Staring out the window, I sipped it, my mind drifting as I ignored the cloudless sky and pretty treed courtyard beyond. A shaft of sunlight angling into the room from between two trees failed to deliver an ounce of warmth.

  How was I going to shovel out of the dreary, pitiful place I existed in?

  Maybe it was a battle that wasn’t meant to be won. Maybe this was how it was meant to end right from the start.

  There was no fight left. I’d used my last ounce. There was only so much a person could take. I had gotten back up and fought so many times. And for what? This? What a joke! What a farce! This thing called life. Trials and tragedies were meant to make us stronger, weren’t they? There was meant to be a happy ending. All the childhood stories my mother had read to me when I was little had happy endings. It was how things were meant to be. So why wasn’t I happy?

  My hands shook as I swallowed the last few drops of juice before placing it back on the tray with the untouched food, pushing it back to the side, then curling up into the warm bed, ignoring the fiery ache inside.

  The monitor sounded out the quick tempo of my heart, which sped up every time I moved. The eye pads the nurse had placed on me had long since fallen off and lay in the tangled mess of sheets somewhere. My puffy eye did feel slightly less swollen, so that was one good thing. My vision was still blurry but it had taken a nasty punch, so it was to be expected.

  I desperately needed a shower to try and scrub my skin clean of remnants of John. I felt sick at the thought of his hands being anywhere near me, let alone all over my body. It would take a week of washing and scrubbing until every ounce of his scent was gone.

  The door opened and a young, blonde perky nurse walked in. “Oh good, you’re awake! I’m Sky, and I’m taking over Libby’s shift. How are you feeling after a sleep and some breakfast?”

  She walked over to the tray, noticing the food remained untouched. “You weren’t hungry this morning?”

  “No.”

  “Oh. That’s okay. Maybe I can bring you something later.” Sky moved the tray away before turning back to me. “Did you get the message from your boyfriend?”

  That got my attention. “N…no. I haven’t heard from anyone.”

  “Well, he happens to be in this hospital too and he wanted to let you know he’ll come and visit you as soon as he can and that he loves you. How sweet! He must be pretty special, huh?”

  “He’s in this hospital?” It came out as a whisper. “How? Why?”

  “He was brought in some time ago and has been in for surgery. He’s back in the ward recovering, but he obviously wanted to get that message to you.” Sky walked over to the end of the bed and picked up the observation sheet attached to a clipboard.

  “He’s had surgery? How bad was he hurt? Why was he hurt and what is he doing in this hospital?”

  “I’m just the messenger, honey. That’s all I know. You’ll have to wait on your visitor to find out all the details.”

  Why the hell would Kyle be in the very same hospital for surgery? What on earth was going on? Where was Daniel? How did Kyle know I was here? Nothing made sense. Absolutely nothing. My mind couldn’t take any more. It was just too much to cope with.

  Nurse Sky must have noticed the desperate look on my face. “Are you okay? You’re looking kind of pale. Can I get you anything?”

  “I need a shower.” It was all I could come up with. Scorching hot water would help.

  “I don’t think
you’re ready to get up yet. I can ask the doctor, otherwise I’ll have to wash you in bed.”

  Tears rained down my face without warning. “You don’t understand! I need a shower! I’m dirty. I need to get clean!” My keening voice sounded crazy, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

  “Let me go and ask someone. I’ll be right back.” Sky was calm and collected, as if she dealt with outbursts from patients every day, which she probably did. Turning on her heels, she left.

  What the hell did any of these people know about what I needed? They had no idea what I’d been through. I just needed a shower, for God’s sake! It’s not like I was asking to be released or to be given a lung transplant, although with the way my chest was feeling, maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

  If I didn’t get some scalding hot water on my skin soon I was going to lose it.

  Pulling aside the blankets and pulling out the drip for the second time, I swung around to sit on the edge of the bed, letting the sudden dizziness subside.

  I didn’t have time for Sky to return. I needed to take matters into my own hands.

  My bare feet unsteadily touched the cold linoleum floor. Grasping the open hospital gown at the back and attempting to squeeze it closed was difficult.

  Using the bed to stabilize me, I shuffled around it, trying to ignore the pins and needles and the fresh wave of vertigo that hit suddenly. I just needed to make it to a bathroom and then everything would be okay.

  My bladder seemed to know what the word bathroom meant because all of a sudden I really, really needed to go. Gravity pulled everything down.

  Opening the door, I inspected the long hallway. It sucked being right at the end and why didn’t my room have its own bathroom, anyway?

  There was chatter from down the end, which was probably a nurse’s station, but apart from that, the corridor was empty.

  Well, here goes nothing. Let my feet carry me to my destination.

  Walking again after having been bound at the cabin and then confined to a hospital bed was weird. The muscles in my legs felt like they’d already begun to seize up. I was weak and fatigued but the thought of stepping under hot water and cleaning myself spurred me on.

  With each open door I passed, I glanced in. Some rooms had one bed and others had two. An elderly woman lay in one, eyes wide open, just staring into space, and for a second I wondered if she was breathing until the woman turned her head and stared at me, lifting a bony hand towards me as if motioning me into the dark room.

  For a brief few seconds when our eyes locked, I could see the woman’s emotions clearly.

  Isolation. Sadness. Regret. A knowing that the end was maybe near and not wanting to take her last breath without the warm touch of someone.

  I looked away and shuffled forward, ignoring the lady. It moved something inside me that resembled pity. Was that how we all ended up?

  I shuddered and moved on, surprised a nurse hadn’t come charging down the hall to carry me back to bed.

  It appeared that there were no bathrooms close by, which struck me as odd. What were patients expected to do? Did they all use bed pans?

  The closer I got to the end of the hall, the louder the voices became. There was a male voice mixed amongst it all.

  Needing a break, I took a pause. Everywhere ached. The pain killers had already started to wear off. Mind you, I wasn’t meant to be out of bed and traipsing the halls of the hospital.

  I gripped onto the timber railing that ran the entire length of the corridor on both sides, trying to breathe through the discomfort.

  My legs could give way at any moment. Still, I crept forward until I rounded the corner and was met with panicked stares. The chatter stopped. Nurses seemed frozen for a second before chaos ensued.

  My eyes targeted a familiar face, trying to process him and those moving like bees everywhere.

  Arms grabbed me, asking questions I couldn’t answer because my gaze was fixated on the man now moving forward, his face etched with worry.

  “Dakota?”

  “Joseph? What are you doing here?”

  “I’m here to see Kyle. What are you doing out of bed?” He stopped a foot from me as his face softened.

  “I…uh…I need to use the bathroom and was looking for the shower.”

  The nurse on my right, whom I had never seen before, piped up. “Why didn’t you use your buzzer?”

  “Er…I don’t know. I…please! I need to use a shower. I’m filthy. It won’t take long. I promise. Just tell me where the bathroom is.” I wrenched my arms out of the protective hold of the nurses and started to move away but my legs had other ideas.

  Spots appeared in front of my eyes and I expected to feel the hard floor come up to greet me but a pair of strong arms picked me up like an infant.

  The smell of aftershave. The monster’s aftershave. It invoked a deep sense of fear in me. I struggled against the manly arms, needing to get away. “Let me down! Let me down!”

  “Honey, it’s okay. I’ve got you. I’m not going to hurt you. We need to get you back to bed.”

  Even with the pacifying sound of his voice, that smell of aftershave was a trigger.

  Thrashing my arms and legs around, I wasn’t making it easy. “Please, don’t hurt me! I beg you, please!”

  Tears fell and gasping sobs broke free as I threw my head back, wailing all the way down the long corridor. I was surprised to be taken back to my own room and not transferred to the psych ward.

  Joseph gently laid me down on the bed as the two nurses in hot pursuit held my arms down. “Shh, shh, shh! Calm down. No one’s going to hurt you. We’re here to help. You’re safe.”

  “No, I’m not! Don’t you get it? I’m not safe! I want out of here. He’ll come for me.” As my bleary eyes moved over the three people, I stopped floundering. My body shuddered aggressively, a shriek ripping from deep within, causing the two nurses to wince and Joseph to move in closer.

  “May I have a moment with Dakota, alone?”

  “Sir, I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” offered the older of the two nurses.

  “It’s okay. I’m family. I just need a few words.”

  “Well, only for a minute, okay? I’ll go and get a bed pan and bring back something to calm her down. Nurse Nancy, you wait outside the door,” The younger nurse said.

  I could tell they weren’t happy with the situation but begrudgingly turned around and left.

  Joseph sat down on the bed and brought a hand up to touch my face. I shied away.

  “Please, don’t touch me.”

  “Okay.” He rested his hand back down at his side. “I won’t touch you.” Taking a deep breath, Joseph quietly spoke. “We’ve been so worried about you. How are you holding up?”

  “I’m not.”

  “I can’t begin to imagine what you went through but please know we’re here for you, okay? You’re already like a daughter to us and we’ll do anything in our power to help you.”

  The words bounced off me carelessly. There was nothing anyone could do.

  “He’ll come for me.”

  “Who, John?”

  “Yes.”

  Joseph’s mouth almost turned up into a smile. Almost. “Dakota, honey. You don’t have to worry about him anymore. He can’t hurt you.”

  “No! He can. He’ll find me and finish me off. You don’t know him like I do. He’s insane.”

  “He’s dead.”

  “What?” No. It wasn’t true. He couldn’t be killed. He was invincible.

  “He died last night.”

  “He can’t be dead.”

  “He is. I promise. It’s over.”

  My brain was trying to understand the words. They sounded too good to be true. There must be some catch.

  I stared into Joseph’s kind eyes, looking for a sign that could prove him wrong, but I was met with nothing but honesty. “How?”

  Joseph turned fully to face me. His jaw twitched and he stared down at his hands befor
e looking up again. “Kyle killed him.”

  My hand flew to my mouth as I sat upright, my eyes trying to open wide but failing. “I don’t understand. How could Kyle have killed John? How did he even know where I’d been taken?”

  Joseph went to touch my shoulder but dropped his hand. “I know it sounds absurd but it’s true. There’s so much to explain to you but I think Kyle should be the one to tell you. He did what he had to in order to bring that coward down. To keep you safe.”

  None of it seemed possible. Kyle killed John to keep me safe. He’d always said if he laid eyes on John, he’d kill him, and that’s exactly what happened.

  Nurse Nancy walked in carrying a bed pan. “Here you go. Use this for now and I’ve spoken with the doctor, who has agreed to get you into a shower. On one condition.”

  I had momentarily forgotten about my full bladder with the conversation of John’s demise. I looked at the nurse and then at the bed pan. It wasn’t the most glamorous thing to have to do but I didn’t think I had the energy to walk the long hallway to a bathroom again. Hearing that I was allowed a shower though was music to my ears. It didn’t matter at that point what the condition was. “Okay.”

  “You need to eat some lunch and then we’ll bring in a wheelchair and take you to the showers. We won’t put the drip back in but you will need to drink some more fluids too.”

  Food was the last thing on my mind but in order to purge myself of the last couple of days with hot water and soap, I’d try. “Fine. Whatever.”

  Joseph stood. “I’ll go anyway. I was stopping by to talk to Kyle. I haven’t seen him yet.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry I’ve taken up all your time. Tell Kyle I hope he’s feeling better.” I didn’t know what else to say. Nothing in my heart came forward so I left it at that. Just a few days ago I would have been gushing and declaring my endless love for him but everything had changed. I didn’t feel worthy of Kyle’s love. I didn’t deserve it or him. He needed someone who wasn’t so broken.

  “Nonsense. You’re part of my family too. I’m just glad I got to see you. I’ll come back afterwards to see how you’re doing.”