Mummy smiles and then she gets my bag from my peg and she pushes it under Toby’s buggy and then Ryan says, ‘Look, do you want to do something together now? Like a play in the park, or come back to Lorna’s for a brew while the kids play? Lorna gets home from work in an hour and you could meet her …’
Inside my head, my voice is shouting YES!YES!YES! and I’m looking up at Mummy and smiling and smiling but then Mummy’s hand is hard on my shoulder again and her sad eyes are gone and her face is all scrunchy and I know she’s going to say, ‘No,’ and it’s not fair and she says, ‘I’m really sorry but I’ve got to take Toby to the doctor now. Maybe another day?’
My foot stamps and I say, ‘I don’t want to go to the doctors again. I want to play with Paige!’ but Mummy’s rushing me over to Toby’s buggy and rushing out of the preschool door and rushing down the street and I say, ‘But why …?’ and Mummy says, ‘Not now, Jesika,’ and her voice is rushy just like our feet and we rush and rush and rush.
We get all the way to the green man crossing and there’s running feet ahind us and I turn round and it’s the man and Paige is bouncing on his back and I tug Mummy’s hand and she turns round and says, ‘Oh!’ and the man is puffing out his breaths fast and fast and he says, ‘Tina Green! It is you, isn’t it?’
Mummy says, ‘Petrowski. My name’s Petrowski now.’
The man says, ‘Look at you, all married and grown up!’
Mummy says, ‘Was married. Not sure about the grown up,’ and her mouth makes a tiny smile.
The man says, ‘You don’t remember me, do you? Ryan. Ryan Selwood.’
Mummy says, ‘I remember you.’
The man smiles big and big and says, ‘Wait until I tell Lorna! There’s me thinking she could really do with a friend to talk to and I bump into her best mate from school! Look, have you got a pen?’
Mummy frowns and then she puts her hand into her bag and pulls out a pen and the man pats his coat with his hands and says, ‘And something to write on?’ and Mummy puts her hand in her bag again and pulls out a piece of paper with squiggles on it and she folds it over to hide the squiggles and gives it to him and he writes something and gives the pen and the piece of paper back to Mummy and says, ‘This is my number. I know you’re busy today but Lorna would love to meet up with you again. I know she would.’
Mummy frowns more and says, ‘I don’t know. We haven’t spoken in years.’
The man says, ‘We all need friends, Tina. Think about it. See you soon,’ and then he turns and walks away. Paige twists round on his back and waves her hand at me and I wave back at her and when I look back at Mummy she’s still frowning.
We cross the road and keep on walking to the busy-rushy road and when we’ve walked a long-a-long way on the busy-rushy road we walk right past the doctors and I say, ‘Mummy, we’ve walked past the doctors!’ and Mummy says, ‘We’re not going to the doctors. We’re going to the shops and then we’re going home.’
I say, ‘But you said to the man that we had to go to the doctors.’ Something plops on my head and it’s shivery-cold and wet.
Mummy says, ‘I went to the doctors while you were at preschool and it was a waste of time and now I want to go home.’
I say, ‘But that’s why we couldn’t play with Paige cos you said we had to go to the doctors.’ There’s another PLOP and it’s right on the end of my nose!
Mummy says, ‘I just want to go home, Jesika. Toby’s not well and I’m not well and today’s not the day for going and playing with friends.’
I say, ‘I never get to go and play at someone else’s house. It’s not fair!’ And I stamp my foot and Mummy says, ‘Jesika,’ and then she stops and blows out a breath and she doesn’t say anything else and now there’s raindrops PLOP! PLOP! PLOP! all around us, big and fast, and Mummy says, ‘Rain. Fantastic.’
I say, ‘Rain’s not fantastic, Mummy,’ but Mummy’s too busy fixing Toby’s rain cover on his buggy so I don’t think she hears me. She helps me put my hood up and she says, ‘Come on, I want to go to Ade’s on the way home and we’ll get very wet unless we go quickly.’
Oh! We’re going to Ade’s on the way home! I skip along the street shouting, ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah!’ cos I love going to Ade’s shop. It’s like a rainbow inside cos all his fruit and vegetables are all different colours and sometimes he gives me and Toby something we’ve never had afore like mango and blueberries and star fruit that’s actually like a real star when you cut it open.
Mummy grabs my arm and pulls it and says, ‘Watch where you’re going, Jesika!’ and then Mummy says, ‘So sorry,’ to a lady that’s walking on the pavement and the lady smiles and says, ‘It’s OK,’ and then she’s gone and I don’t know why Mummy had to say sorry.
Mummy says, ‘Hand on the buggy, Jesika,’ and I try to keep skipping but it’s hard cos my leg keeps bumping Toby’s buggy.
The rain on Toby’s rain cover is going SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! and the raindrops are having races down to the bottom and I’m watching a raindrop that’s sliding very faster than all the others and …
OW! OW! OW!
Mummy says, ‘For goodness’ sake, Jesika, will you just walk in a straight line and then I won’t run you over with the buggy!’
My foot stings and my eyes sting and my cheeks sting and Mummy has to stop and check my foot’s OK. She puts a magic kiss on her hand and touches it on my foot and then she stands up again and says, ‘Hold the buggy and walk forwards, Jesika, and look where you’re going this time,’ and it’s not fair cos I was holding the buggy and I was walking forwards and I was looking where I was going, cept when I was watching the raindrops racing.
We walk a bit more and my feet squelch in my shoes and we go under the big roof that sticks out of the big food shop and it’s not raining on our heads now, it’s raining on the roof and it sounds like a giant stomping his feet and there’s lots of people standing and listening and we have to squeeze past. I want to stop and listen too but Mummy keeps pushing the buggy and my feet have to keep walking past the red heart shop and back into the rain.
I tip my head back and stick my tongue out and the rain is tap-tap-tapping my tongue and making it all wet and it’s not tickly and not hurty but sort of—
‘Jesika!’
Mummy’s face is cross and I don’t know why cos I’m holding the buggy and I’m walking forwards. Mummy says, ‘It’s raining, Jesika, can we go a bit faster, please?’ I make my feet go quick and Mummy says, ‘That’s better,’ and we get to a really puddly bit and we’re zig-zagging around all the puddles like a fast car race and I’m looking at the puddles and the raindrops are making big splashes in them.
Oh! That one’s got a swirly rainbow in it!
I let go of the buggy and say, ‘Mummy, Mummy, look! Look at this!’ But Mummy doesn’t stop and I run to catch up and pull on Mummy’s sleeve and say, ‘Stop, Mummy! Look at this!’ And she says, ‘Jesika, come on, it’s raining!’ but I know a rainbow puddle is something so special and Mummy needs to see it and I run back to the puddle and crouch down and point and say, ‘Look, it’s a rainbow puddle!’ And then Mummy’s crouched next to me and I say, ‘It’s a pretty rainbow puddle, isn’t it?’ and Mummy says, ‘Yes, it’s very pretty.’ And I look at Mummy and I giggle cos there’s a big drip of water hanging off the end of Mummy’s nose and I tap Mummy’s nose to make it fall off and I giggle again and Mummy says, ‘Oh, that’s so funny, Jesika,’ and she’s trying to look cross but her laughing face keeps pushing the cross away and I giggle again.
We walk back to where Mummy left Toby in his buggy and Mummy says, ‘Hand on the buggy,’ and we walk along the street again and I say, ‘How did the rainbow get into the puddle?’ and Mummy says, ‘It looks like someone spilled some oil or petrol on the ground,’ and I say, ‘What’s oilorpetrol?’ and Mummy says, ‘It’s what people put into their cars to make them work,’ and I say, ‘Why did someone spill it in the puddle?’ and Mummy says, ‘It was probably an accident,’ and I say, ‘Or maybe
it’s cos it’s Rainbow Week at preschool,’ and Mummy laughs and says, ‘Maybe,’ and I say, ‘Is oilorpetrol made of rainbows?’ and Mummy says, ‘No, it makes rainbows when light from the sun bounces off it, or something like that.’
I say, ‘The light from the sun bounces? Like a ball?’ Mummy laughs again and says, ‘That’s a question for another day. Come on, it’s raining!’ And she shakes her head and raindrops fly off her head cos her hair is really, really, really, really wet! It’s sticking all over her face and the raindrops are sliding down her nose and her cheeks and even her eyelashes have drips on them.
I say, ‘Mummy, you should have put on the coat that’s got a hood,’ and Mummy says, ‘The zip’s broken. I had to wear this one.’ And just then we’re walking past the shop that has clothes and coats and shoes in the window and the coats have all got hoods and I point to the window and say, ‘I’ve got an idea, Mummy, why don’t we go in here afore Ade’s shop and get you a new coat that’s got a hood?’ But Mummy says, ‘You need pennies to buy coats and I’ve not got enough pennies at the moment,’ and then she says, ‘It’s just a bit of rain, Jesika, I don’t mind getting wet.’ But then we get to Ade’s shop and she says, ‘Out of the rain, at last,’ so I think she does mind really.
Ade’s shop is busy with people putting different fruits and vegetables into their baskets. One of the ladies that helps in the shop is putting more apples out and she sees me and smiles and waves but Ade doesn’t see us straight away cos there’s a man giving him pennies at the paying table and I’m waiting and waiting for him to turn and see us and then he does and he shouts, ‘Hey, Jesika!’ and he comes over to us slow and slow and he’s using both his sticks today so it must be a hurty day and not a day for doing jumping high fives cos he can’t let go of his sticks so I fist bump him instead like he showed me last time and then Toby says, ‘Me, me!’ and Mummy pushes the buggy right up to Ade and he leans his stick right near to Toby so Toby can do a fist bump too cept Toby always forgets to make a fist and he does a high five on Ade’s fist instead and Ade bends his head right back and laughs loud and loud and his hair bounces up and down like springs and now I’m laughing but not Mummy and Toby cos they’re coughing and coughing.
Ade says, ‘Did you get to the doc’s with that?’
Mummy’s still coughing but she nods and then lifts her shoulders up and down and makes a scrunchy face and when she’s finished coughing she says, ‘Nothing to worry about at the moment. Just more sleepless nights and grumpy days.’
Ade makes a sad face and says, ‘Not much fun,’ and I say, ‘What’s not much fun?’ but now Mummy’s talking to Ade about the family bargain bag and Ade says, ‘Yep, got one all ready for you.’
We follow Ade across the shop atween all the people to Ade’s paying table and Ade leans his sticks against the wall and leans his bottom on his high-up stool and he points to a bag on the floor and says, ‘You’ll have to help yourself. I can’t do bending today.’
Mummy lifts the bag up and pushes it under the buggy and Ade says, ‘I put in your usual, plus a couple of peppers and some satsumas that need using today or tomorrow, and someone’ – he nods his head at the Apple Lady – ‘over-ordered the broccoli, so you got one of them, too.’
The Apple Lady says, ‘Are you still trying to blame me for that one?’ And she makes a ‘tut’ sound that’s cross but she’s also smiling so I don’t think she’s actually cross.
Mummy’s face isn’t cross but it is frowny and Ade holds his hand up and he says, ‘Please, it’s wasted food if you don’t take it and I can’t stand wasted food. Plus you need that vitamin C.’
I say, ‘What’s that?’
Ade says, ‘Vitamin C? It’s a magic warrior right inside your fruit and veg and it fights colds and coughs.’
My eyes go wide and wide cos I didn’t know that magic warriors could live inside food and I look at Mummy to check if she knows about the magic warriors and she’s got a tiny smile even though her face is still a bit frowny and I say, ‘Are there really magic warriors in fruit and vegetables?’
Mummy smiles even bigger and says, ‘Yes, there are, so that’s why you have to eat all your fruit and veg up,’ and she gives Ade some pennies for the bag and I say, ‘Well, you and Toby better eat this whole bag up and then the warriors can fight your coughs and make them go away.’
Ade gives Mummy some pennies back cos she must have given him too many and I say, ‘Ade, have you put any surprises in the bag?’
Mummy says, ‘Jesika!’ and I don’t think she wanted me to ask that but Ade laughs loud and loud and his hair bounces again and he says, ‘No surprises today, but I think you might have one behind your ear.’
I lift my hand up and touch ahind my ear but there’s nothing there.
Ade says, ‘No, not that one.’ And he reaches ahind my other ear and, oh! He’s pulled out a big, red strawberry! That’s magic! He twists off the green leaves and passes it to me and I say, ‘Thank you!’ and then Toby says, ‘Me, me!’ and Ade grabs one of his sticks and leans on it and reaches ahind Toby’s ear and he pulls out another strawberry and he twists off the green leaves and passes it to Toby and I don’t know how he did that! I put the whole strawberry in my mouth and bite it and my mouth is sweet and juicy and lovely and some of the juice squeezes out of my lips and tickles down my chin and I lick it off and it’s the most yummy taste in the whole of the world.
Mummy says, ‘Thanks, Ade,’ and Ade says, ‘I’ve got something for you too,’ and I think he’s going to magic a strawberry from ahind Mummy’s ear but he reaches under the paying table and it’s a book and he says, ‘It’s the one I was telling you about on Friday. I’ve finished it now – and I didn’t see that ending coming!’ and his eyes go wide and he makes a whistle with his mouth.
Mummy says, ‘I can get it from the library.’
Ade pushes the book at Mummy and says, ‘Go on. You can give it back after. But read it quick so I can talk to you about the ending!’
The Apple Lady comes over to the paying table with a man who’s got a basket full up with fruit and veg and she says, ‘Please take it and read it because then he’ll stop talking to me about it.’
Ade says, ‘Cheeky!’ and he makes his face cross but it’s just like the Apple Lady’s pretend cross face and his cross mouth keeps trying to smile and Mummy and the Apple Lady are both smiling so they don’t think he’s cross either. Grown-ups do a lot of pretending to be cross when they’re not really. Why don’t they just be cross or not be cross?
Outside Ade’s shop it’s not raining any more but everything is dripping. I count all the drips I can see on the shop windows and the bus stop and the car mirrors and the metal poles and the doorways and the buggies and the bikes and the traffic lights, but then I run out of numbers and then we’re crossing the road and almost back home and we get to the steps that go up to the big outside door and there’s two men standing at the bottom and they’re shouting scary-horrible words and one of them is jabbing his finger at the other one’s chest and that must really hurt.
‘Don’t look, Jesika!’ Mummy’s voice hisses like a snake. She pushes the buggy round the men and says, ‘Up the steps, quick, and wait at the top,’ and she pushes me forward and then she turns round so she can pull Toby’s buggy up the steps.
I run up the steps and I’m not apposed to look at the men but I do cos they’re still shouting and I think they can’t be friends with each other cos you’re not apposed to shout at your friends or hurt them.
Mummy gets to the top and she pushes her bottom against the big outside door and it pushes open and then we’re inside and the big outside door bangs shut and all the shouting noise and the busy-rushy street noise goes more quiet.
Mummy goes backwards up the stairs, pulling Toby’s buggy, and I go forwards cos only grown-ups are allowed to go backwards on stairs and Mummy is huffing and puffing and it’s a shame Shiny-Head Man’s not here today cos sometimes he helps Mummy carry Toby’s buggy up the stairs if he’
s going up to his house at the same time as us and that’s a nice thing to do and I’m thinking about those two men being horrible outside and I say, ‘We’ve got nice friends, haven’t we, Mummy?’
Mummy stops pulling and looks at me and she says, ‘Do we?’ And I say, ‘Yes, our friends are really nice and helpful and they don’t shout at us or hurt us.’
Mummy starts pulling the buggy up again and she says, ‘Who do you think our friends are?’ I skip up the steps and I say, ‘What’s the man who’s got the shiny head called?’ and Mummy says, ‘Leon?’ and I say, ‘Yes, Leon and Kali and Ade and Nandini and …’ I stop and I think about Emma being smiley and winky today and I say, ‘Is Emma our friend too?’
Mummy’s at the top of the steps and she pushes Toby’s buggy round the corner to the flat bit and she crouches down and says, ‘Jesika, these people aren’t really our friends, you know.’
I say, ‘Why not?’
Mummy shakes her head and says, ‘They’re just … very kind people who like to help others.’
Mummy stands up and pushes Toby round to the next stairs and then she pulls Toby up, bump, bump, bump.
I say, ‘But they’re not our friends?’ and I’m sad cos I want Leon and Kali and Ade and Nandini and Emma (when she’s smiling) to be my friends.
Mummy stops at the top of the stairs again and she’s huffing and puffing and she does some slow breathing and then she says, ‘Friends are people who you meet up with and spend lots of time talking or playing with. They do nice things for you because they like you and they want to, not because they feel sorry for you. You can trust them to help you if you have a problem, anytime, anywhere. You can’t trust someone just because they give you a sticker or a jam sandwich or magic a strawberry out of your ear. Do you understand?’
I don’t understand. Mummy pushes Toby round to the last stairs. I think and think about who my real friends are who I talk and play with all the time. Mummy bumps Toby up the last stairs, bump, bump, bump. I talk and play with Mummy and Toby all the time. And I play with lots of different children at preschool, cept when they don’t want to play, so maybe they’re not my friends cos they don’t play with me all of the time. I did play with Paige a lot today. Maybe she’s my friend now. But not Daddy or Bab-bab cos I don’t talk to them or play with them any more. Is that right?
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