Gym Junkie

by T L Swan

  “I haven’t been able to breathe all week without you,” he mumbles against my lips. My eyes fill with tears as he kisses me. The emotion between us too much. He slowly pumps me, and I smile up at him in wonder.

  “Don’t look at me like that or I’ll come.” He smirks.

  “What? Like I love you?” I tease.

  He shakes his head, as if disgusted in himself.

  “Did you ever think a day would arrive when you could come just by knowing how loved you are?”

  He closes his eyes to try and block me out, grimacing as he tries to hold it.

  “I love you so much,” I breathe against his lips. He pumps me harder.

  “Fuck it.” He growls and his cock jerks deep inside of me. I giggle, and he slowly rides me until my fingers are digging into his back and my head is tipped back.

  He’s thick and deep and so fucking perfect.

  It’s taking me longer today. “Deeper,” I whisper.

  He pumps me harder, lifting my legs higher, and he finds that perfect spot that makes my head roll back and my moan roam free.

  He hits me again, and I shudder as I am shook with a violent orgasm.

  I drop my head to Brock’s shoulder, my exhaustion taking over, and we stay still for a long time. It’s as if he knows I need him inside of me. I want to sleep like this.

  “Bed, Pock,” he whispers softly.

  He pulls out and washes me again, and then he carries me to bed.

  I wake to gentle kisses dusting my neck.

  My love is here.

  “Morning,” I whisper as I reach behind me to push my fingers through his hair.

  Brock’s hands slide down over my hip and I can feel his erection behind me. I smile sleepily. “God, I don’t even remember going to bed.”

  “You were zonked. How long is it since you’ve slept?” he asks.

  “Honestly, not since I was in your arms.”

  He exhales heavily. “What’s in the plans today?” He kisses my shoulder again and I smile peacefully… just for a moment.

  “Shit.” I gasp as I sit up in a rush. “What time is it?” I jump out of bed to retrieve my phone. There are ten missed calls from Simon’s mother. “Fuck.”

  “What?” He frowns.

  “The specialist is coming to see Simon this morning. I have to be there.”

  He stares at me as if I’ve lost my mind. “His parents are there with him.” He crawls out of bed and walks into the bathroom.

  “I know, but I need to be there, too,” I say as I rush past him and turn on the shower.

  “Why?” he asks. “Why do you have to be there?”

  I scowl at him. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean…” He narrows his eyes for a moment. “I mean, what exactly is your role here with Simon?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I snap angrily as I step into the shower.

  “Well, are you here as a friend or are you here as his girlfriend?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” I sneer. “I’m your girlfriend.”

  “How long do you plan on staying here?”

  I look at him, deadpan. “As long as it takes.”

  He tilts his jaw to the ceiling and puts his hands on his hips. “Is that so?”

  “What do you mean, is that so?”

  “I thought you would be coming home with me, Tully.” He growls. “I thought I would be bringing you home.” He rushes out of the bathroom.

  “What?” I call after him. He doesn’t answer, so I turn the shower off and follow him. “What do you mean you came here to bring me home?”

  “Just what I said. You needed to see him. You’ve done it. Now it’s time to come home.”

  “Are you fucking crazy?” I yell. “I can’t leave him.”

  “You’re not his girlfriend!” he yells back.

  “He needs me.”

  “I need you. What about me, Tully. Where the fuck do I fit into all of this? Put yourself in my shoes. Would you like me on the other side of the world comforting my ex-girlfriend?”

  I point at him, my fury escalating to a dangerous level. “Don’t you fucking dare.”

  “Don’t what? Demand that you treat me with respect?”

  I pull the hair brush through my hair as I begin to rage.

  “You came, you saw him. You’ve done all you can. Now it’s time to come home with me. Your boyfriend.”

  “Don’t make me choose, Brock.”

  He stills. “What’s that supposed to fucking mean?” His voice has taken a nasty tone… one I don’t like.

  I glare at him. “Exactly what I said.”

  “So, if I made you choose, you would choose him, is that what you are saying?”

  I glare at him.

  “Say the fucking word, Tully, and I’ll leave so you can be with him.” He jaw is set, his eyes burning as he stares at me and waits for an answer.

  My eyes fill with tears.

  And in that moment, he knows.

  He steps back from me, flinching like I’ve just stabbed him. “I handed you my fucking heart on a platter in Hawaii,” he whispers.

  “Brock...”

  “So” He frowns. “I was the pitstop all along. You were always going back to him?”

  “Brock,” I whisper, and I try to grab his arm and he hits me away.

  “Is this what you did to Simon? Promise him your undying love and then throw it in his face?”

  “That is not fair!” I cry. “He is sick.”

  “I know!” he yells. “But you need to work out what the fuck you’re doing and what your fucking role here is.”

  I stare at him through my tears.

  “Do you want to be his girlfriend… or mine?”

  “I love you,” I whisper as the tears roll down my face.

  “That’s not what I asked, Tully.”

  I drop my head and stare at the carpet. I can’t leave Simon. I just can’t do this. “I need to do what’s right,” I murmur sadly.

  “And staying with him is what’s right?”

  “Yes.”

  I look up, and his eyes search mine, the room falling deathly silent.

  He screws up his face as he loses control, turns to the wall and punches it hard, making a hole in the plaster. I jump back in a complete fright.

  “Brock!” I gasp.

  He turns and storms out, not saying a word, just slamming the door behind him.

  I stare at it, my vision blurred. The lump in my throat constricts and I sob loudly.

  “Brock,” I whisper into the silence. “Don’t go.”

  Chapter 21

  “So, the results are good?” Simon asks the doctor.

  The doctor smiles with pride. “Yes, the results are great. The levels are on their way back up.”

  I let out a sigh of relief and squeeze Simon’s hand in mine.

  “You have a long fight ahead of you, young man. But I’m confident we can get you over this crisis,” the doctor tells him.

  I smile and Simon’s parents hug each other in relief.

  I look between the doctor and Simon. “When do you think he will be able to transfer back to Australia?” I ask. I’m so grateful for the medical treatment he’s had here in London, but Australia has cutting edge medical technology and we really want to get him home.

  “I’d say he’ll be fit to travel in around three or four weeks.”

  My heart drops. Four more weeks. That’s a long time. My mind instantly goes to Brock and the fight we had this morning. I exhale heavily. I want to be here with Simon. I couldn’t go home at this point.

  God, this is a fucking mess.

  The doctor fills out the charts and talks to the nurses. I hug Simon’s parents, and then him. “This is great news, Si,” I whisper as I hold his forehead to mine. “You’re going to be okay.”

  He smiles and lies back, his eyes never leaving mine. My phone rings, and I scramble to pick it up. It might be Brock. I frown when I see the name Meredith lighting up the screen. I an
swer immediately.

  “Meredith?”

  “Oh, hi, Tull,” she says without a care in the world. “What’s up? Why did you call me so many times?”

  I roll my eyes. Damn Meredith. I cover the phone with my hand. “I’ve just got to take this,” I whisper before I dart out into the hall. “What the hell, Meredith?” I whisper angrily. “Where the hell have you been?”

  “My gran got sick, so we took a road trip to Queensland.”

  “Oh.” My face falls. “Is she okay?”

  “No, she’s not. She’s dead now. Buried in the ground,” she replies flatly. “Worms in her head. Wolf pack meeting tonight?” she asks, as if this is the only thing that matters.

  I close my eyes as I try to get my head around the worms in the head comment. “I’m in London, Meredith.” I pause. “Simon is really sick, so I came to see him.”

  “Oh, okay. Fly home now so we can have our meeting tonight.”

  I sigh. “I can’t.”

  “Yes, you can. Tell him you’re busy.”

  I smile to myself. If only things were as black and white as Meredith sees them, life would be a lot easier.

  “Meredith, Brock has been looking for you. He was worried that everything wasn’t okay.”

  “No. I’m fine.”

  I stay silent. I’m not sure if I should mention anything about Peachy Sue until the boys are physically with her. I bite my bottom lip as I listen. She’s seems fine. Maybe this is all a crazy mix up?

  “So, when are you coming home?” she asks.

  I glance up the hall towards the room. “I’m not sure,” I sigh sadly. “Simon needs me.”

  “Oh.” She thinks for a moment. “I thought you broke up with him?”

  “I did.” I pause. “It’s complicated.”

  “Are you having a threesome with him and Brock now?”

  “No, Meredith, for God’s sake, I’m not,” I snap angrily. For fuck’s sake, she’s annoying sometimes.

  “Is Callie going out with Brock now?” she asks.

  “No!” Damn it, I’m not in the mood for this crap today. “I’ll call you later.”

  “Bye, Tully.” She hangs up, completely unaware that she’s just ruffled my feathers. I exhale heavily, knowing I need to call Brock.

  I’ve felt sick since our fight this morning. Hopefully he isn’t already halfway back to Australia by now. I dial his number and he answers on the first ring.

  “Hey, Pock,” he says sadly, and I instantly know he isn’t angry anymore.

  “Brock, I’m sorry,” I whisper.

  “Yeah. Me, too, hey?”

  “Where are you?” I ask.

  “I’m in the hotel room.”

  I smile and stare at the wall in front of me, letting the silence hang between us. “I’ll come back there now, okay?”

  “Yeah, okay.”

  “Oh.” My eyes widen. “Meredith called me.”

  “What?”

  “She called me just now. She said her grandma died and she had to take a road trip with her mother.”

  “Thank fuck.” He sighs. “Where is she now?”

  “At her apartment.”

  “I’ll get straight on it. See you soon.”

  I hang up and walk back into the hospital room to Simon’s face light up when he sees me. My heart drops, and I fill with sadness.

  He deserves better than this.

  Brock deserves better than this.

  The term torn between two lovers has never rung as true as it does right now.

  I love both men; one for what we were, and one for what we are. A future with either of them seems impossible.

  I need to decide.

  Brock

  I hang up and stare at the phone in my hand for a moment.

  She called.

  I’m glad I didn’t get on the first plane home like I wanted to. I even called the airline to try and change my flight, but I knew that if I got on that plane it would have been it for Tully and me. I get that she wants to be here. I get that she cares about Simon’s welfare, but when she said the words don’t make me choose, I lost my shit. It never occurred to me that choosing between us was even an option for her. Maybe I’m wrong.

  Maybe I’m here in London making a fucking idiot of myself. Maybe I’ve given over a part of myself to her that was safer buried deep inside.

  Stop it. She wouldn’t. I know she doesn’t love him, she loves me. I’m sure of it.

  I call Ben’s number.

  “Hey.”

  “Hi. It’s me. Meredith is alive.”

  “You’re kidding?”

  “Nope, she just called Tully. Seems her grandma was sick, and she went on a road trip. Get a car around there and check on her, can you?”

  “Okay, I’m on it.”

  “Oh, and Ben…” I say.

  “Yeah?” He listens.

  “She’s got…” I pause as I try to articulate what I need to say. “She’s a bit out there. Not the norm kind of chick.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She’s smart as a whip but is socially awkward. She says random things at random times. Tully says she’s somewhere on the spectrum.”

  He exhales heavily. “Fuck’s sake.” He thinks for a moment. “Well, how do I handle this? Can I question her?”

  “I’d probably spend some time with her first and see if you can draw the information out slowly. I think if you go in with all guns blazing she’s just going to shut up shop.”

  “Okay got it. I’ll get Jes onto it. He’s a softy. Everyone loves him.”

  “Good idea,” I reply.

  “When are you home?” he asks.

  “Soonish.”

  “Is Tully coming with you?”

  “Who knows?” I sigh. “That’s a whole different fucking nightmare.”

  “Just be patient, mate. She didn’t ask for this to happen.”

  I exhale heavily. “Yeah, I know, I’m trying.”

  “Okay, I’ll be in touch after I speak to Meredith,” he says. “Catch you.” He hangs up.

  Half an hour later and there’s a knock at the door.

  I smile, knowing she’s here. I open the door in a rush and Tully stands before me. She’s been crying, and my heart drops when I see her sad face.

  “What’s wrong?” I frown.

  Shit, did he die?

  “Can we talk?” she mutters weakly.

  I stare at her and the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention. “Sure.”

  She walks past me into the room and I frown. What’s going on here?

  “I’m sorry about this morning,” I say as my eyes hold hers. “I had no right to order you home. I don’t know what came over me.”

  She smiles up at me. “Yes, you did. I’m your girlfriend. You had every right to order me home. I’m sorry I said you shouldn’t make me choose.” She runs her hands through her hair, as if uncomfortable. “That was wrong, and it most definitely wasn’t fair.”

  I smile and go to take her into my arms but she pulls away.

  “What’s going on?” I whisper.

  Her eyes fill with tears. “I love you, you know I love you.”

  Time stands still.

  Don’t say it. Please don’t say it.

  “But, I need to be fair to everyone concerned,” she adds.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I begin to hear my heartbeat thudding in my ears.

  “Simon has a long road to recovery in front of him.”

  “I know.”

  “I’m going to be here for him for as long as it takes,” she says calmly, as if all this is some kind of prerehearsed speech.

  “I don’t expect you to walk away from him, Tully,” I tell her.

  “I know, baby.” Her haunted eyes hold mine. “I’m walking away from you.”

  “What?” The ground moves beneath me. “What do you mean?”

  “Simon needs all of me,” she whispers.

  “What are you fucking saying?” I growl.


  “I’m saying that it’s not fair to you to be constantly waiting for me at home while I sit at the hospital with my ex-boyfriend.”

  “But you don’t love him.”

  She scrunches her face in pain. “I know. I love you.”

  “What the fuck are you doing, Tully?” I shout, losing the last of my control.

  “What’s right, Brock. I’m doing what’s right. What anyone with a heart would do for their ex.”

  My face falls. “You’re going back to him?” I whisper.

  She shakes her head.

  “Tell me. Tell me out loud that you are not going back to him.” I feel my chest beginning to close up.

  A slow-moving tear rolls down her face, her eyes holding mine with a resolved strength. “I can’t,” she breathes.

  I step back from her as pain tears through me.

  She’s going back to him.

  I grab the wall as I suck in air to try and stop myself from freaking out and completely losing my shit.

  “This could go on for years with Simon. I won’t have you end up hating me for it,” she whispers as her tears continue to fall. “I care about you too much to leave you waiting at home for me.”

  She doesn’t love me.

  I drop my head so that she doesn’t see my blurry eyes. “Get out,” I whisper.

  “Brock. Can’t we at least be friends?” he pleads.

  I lose control. “I have enough fucking friends, Tully,” I yell, my own tears breaking free. “Get the fuck out.”

  I drop my head, and my chest shakes as I try to regain control, but there’s no chance of that.

  “I love you,” she whispers.

  I turn on her like she’s the Devil himself. “You fucking liar! Get the fuck out of my life. Right now!”

  She steps back from me, wincing and aching with emotion. “I’m sorry,” she whispers.

  Our eyes are locked, and then she slowly turns and walks out the door, leaving it to click closed quietly.

  I close my eyes. The room is silent apart from my thudding heart.

  I drop my head and inhale deeply as I try to block out my emotions.

  I need to get out of here.

  Now.

  I walk to the phone and dial reception.

  “Hello, reception.”

  “Organise a car to the airport, please,” I say calmly.