“Well, you know I want to meet him,” she said slowly, “but are you sure that’s wise? Maybe he just wanted to say ‘Hey’ to an old friend. Might not be anything more to it than that.”
“Could be. We didn’t exactly get into details,” he said with a sigh. “For all I know he’s happily married with a whole house full of children, and the only reason he called was so we could catch up. But if it’s more…”
“If it’s more,” she interrupted him, “you’ll call me and tell me. Don’t rush this, Ryder. Okay? Talk to the man, first. Everything else will come in its own time if it’s meant to be.”
“I know,” Ryder said, grimacing. “I know you’re right. It just seems so…I don’t know. What’s the fifty-cent word you like to use? Serenity?”
She chuckled again. “Serendipity. And yeah, it does seem kind of like that. But you want to know what else us country girls like to say? Don’t count your chickens, Ryder.”
A snort of laughter escaped. “I’m so glad I married a smart woman. And yeah, no use hoping this was meant to be when I haven’t even seen the guy yet. Just because we started talking about finding a third doesn’t mean A.J.’s meant to be the one.”
“Exactly.”
He chewed his lip again, thinking hard, then asked, “So what should I do? Tell him up front? Think that will interest him? Or scare him off?”
“Just keep it natural,” she admonished him. “Don’t force it. One step at a time, okay, Texas Ranger? It will work out or it won’t.” She paused, then spoke in a lusty whisper, “But I for damn sure hope you’re right about him. Sure seems like serendipity to me, too. So go get our man, Ryder St. Claire. Don’t come home without him.”
Hot damn, his woman could read his mind. Fuck, that was sexy. He found himself grinning hugely. “I love you, Mrs. St. Claire.”
“I love you, too, Mr. St. Claire,” she said with a laugh. “Now get on the road, hear me? And call me the moment you know what’s what.”
And she hung up on him.
Used to her abrupt way of ending conversations—it was a habit she’d picked up from Sidri, a fact that tickled him no end—Ryder put the car in gear and eased back out into traffic. Lyss’s reaction was just what he’d hoped it would be. But then, he shouldn’t really be surprised.
Finding a third had been her idea, after all.
Ryder shivered, reaching down to adjust his cock before clamping both hands back on the steering wheel. No use getting ahead of himself—literally or figuratively. One step at a time, just like Lyss said. He needed to talk to A.J., see the man in the flesh, before any other decisions could be made.
One step at a time.
Chapter 7
Lyss tossed her keys onto the table in the foyer, thinking, This is what I wanted. What I hoped for. So why am I so conflicted?
Toeing off her work clogs, Lyss padded into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. Sixteen hours on her feet, going non-stop except for the brief chat with Tatum, meant she was absolutely trashed. But Ryder’s phone call—and the longing, the anticipation she heard in his voice when he told her about A.J.—started a whirlwind of conflicting emotions she knew she needed to work through before she’d be able to get any peace of mind.
A.J. was in town. In Houston. The man her husband had loved and lost long before she met him was suddenly back in Ryder’s life. Part of her, the part the loved her man desperately and wanted to make him happy, was doing a serious victory dance right now.
But the rest of her…
Grimacing at herself, Lyss dug out her favorite coffee cup and set it on the counter, impatiently waiting for the pot to fill. In a lot of ways, A.J.’s appearance really was serendipity. Who better to join them than someone Ryder already cared about, right? Wasn’t that what she and Tatum were talking about earlier today? That very possibility? But she couldn’t quite get her head wrapped around it, for some reason. It was almost as if, faced with the possibility of actually bringing another person into their relationship, she suddenly didn’t want it as much.
But that made no sense. She wanted this. Wanted it as much as Ryder did. It was a perfect solution for what was missing in their relationship. Lyss, being female, couldn’t fulfill Ryder’s need for another man’s touch. And Ryder, being Dominant, couldn’t fulfill her need to Dominate another man.
Sharing a sub at Club S hadn’t been enough to satiate either one of them. They needed the real thing. Not just random sexual encounters meant to scratch an itch. They needed a true third, a permanent addition to their relationship, a man who could fulfill the needs they couldn’t fulfill for each other.
And now A.J. was here. The one man Ryder had ever truly cared about. A man who also happened to be a sexual submissive, according to Ryder.
Absolutely perfect.
Unless, of course, he was already taken. But that’s what Ryder was about to go find out, right? That’s why he was so keen to go meet A.J. now, tonight, before anything else happened. He had to know if A.J. would even consider the possibility. If not, then he and Lyss could move on, take their search somewhere else, and leave A.J. in peace. If he was single, though…oh, how the possibilities made her tingle.
A true triad. A lasting threesome. Heaven on earth. If he was interested, that is.
But what if he was interested…but only in Ryder? What if he resented Lyss being part of Ryder’s life? Just because Ryder was bi didn’t mean that A.J. would be. What if…what if A.J. asked Ryder to choose between them? That would kill her. So why take the risk? Why put herself and her marriage into that kind of predicament? And yet…
Shit. Why am I waffling on this? This is what I wanted. What we both wanted. So what the hell is wrong with me?
Sighing, she poured a cup of coffee, wandered into the living room, and settled on the couch with one knee tucked under herself. Setting her coffee cup on the cocktail table, she pulled her phone from her pocket. Considering how Tatum had reacted when the two of them were discussing A.J., she ought to call him. He’d told her to do so, when and if Ryder admitted he still wanted A.J. But now that she knew A.J. was here, in town…no. Tatum would have to wait.
She needed to talk to someone. An expert. And fortunately, she knew just who to call. If anyone would understand her feelings, Sidri would. She was living the dream herself right now, after all. She and Tatum had married Allen. Sid might be able to help her work out these mixed feelings before she had to face Ryder again.
She hoped.
Sid picked up on the third ring. “Hey, ladybug. Wasn’t expecting to hear from you today.”
“Why’s that?” Lyss asked, putting the phone on speaker so she could talk and take the pins out of her hair at the same time. “Am I getting too predictable for you, honey?”
Sidri laughed. “Nothing so trite. I just thought you were working doubles this week. Figured you’d be sleeping the sleep of the perennially exhausted when you got home today.”
Lyss grimaced, massaging her scalp as her long, wavy brown hair settled around her shoulders. “Yeah, well, that was the intent. Ryder just dropped a bomb on me, though, so I need a little girl talk.”
“Oh, no,” her friend said with a laugh, “what’s the man done now?”
Lyss settled back against the arm of the couch and set the phone on her bent knees. “Not him. Well, not really. It’s a good thing, actually. At least, I think it’s a good thing. Supposed to be a good thing, anyway. It’s just…”
Sidri’s chuckle interrupted her. “Okay, now I’m really curious. Alyssana St. Claire, babbling? What’s going on?”
She bit her lip. “Do you happen to remember Ryder’s old college roommate? A.J.?”
“Vaguely,” Sidri said, a smile evident in her tone. “Couldn’t tell you what the man looked like or give you any pointers on his personality, though. He was too shy to talk to me and Tatum, and Ryder was extremely protective of him. Only thing I really remember is he was some kind of boy genius, a hot sixteen-year-old who might as well have had ‘jailbai
t’ branded across his forehead.”
Lyss snorted. “Sounds about right.”
“So why are you asking about him?”
“Do you remember Ryder ever telling you that he and A.J.…hooked up their senior year?”
“Again, vaguely,” Sidri said, sounding interested now. “Why?”
“A.J. just moved here. To Houston. And he called Ryder. Wanted to catch up on old times. And now Ryder’s headed over there, hoping to find out if A.J., you know, still has feelings for him.”
“Okay,” Sidri said slowly. “So I take it Ryder is hoping to bring A.J. home with him. Are you jealous, or something? Because that’s not like you, Lyss.”
“No,” she answered immediately, glad to realize she was telling the truth. “Not jealous in the least. I actually told Ryder he should look A.J. up, get back in touch with him. I thought it would be good for him, you know? Clear the air. Their relationship didn’t end on a happy note. Ryder really cared about him, Sid. You know how much I hate burned bridges.”
“All right. So, what’s the problem?”
Lyss took a deep breath, let it out slowly. “Well, it’s like this. You know me and Ryder have been talking about finding our third. Like you guys with Allen.”
“Yeah…”
She closed her eyes. “I think…Ryder wants A.J. to be our third. No, not just think. I know that’s what he wants.”
“And you don’t?” Sidri asked sympathetically.
Lyss shrugged, even though the other woman couldn’t see her. “Honestly? I don’t know. I’ve never met the man, obviously. He could be perfect for us, for all I know. Ryder swears A.J. is a sub, and we know there’s already chemistry between the two of them.”
“So you’re concerned there might not be chemistry between you and A.J., is that it?”
Lyss paused, thinking hard. “Maybe,” she said, frustrated with herself. “I honestly don’t know, Sid. Finding a third was my idea. I want this just as much, if not more, than Ryder does. And part of me is flipping out right now, hoping Ryder will drag this guy home and tie him to our bed. But the other part of me…”
“Is what?” Sidri prompted when she trailed off. “Talk it out, Lyss. Start with what you thought when Ryder told you A.J. was in town.”
She sat back, threading her fingers behind her head and looking at the ceiling. “First thought?” she said with a laugh. “Was hell the fuck yeah.” Sidri’s appreciative chuckle rang over the line, making her smile. “But after I hung up with him, it was like all these ‘what ifs’ started popping into my head.”
“Such as?”
“I don’t know,” Lyss sighed. “Like what if he’s taken? Or married? What if Ryder is getting his hopes up because he and A.J. have history together? What if A.J. really just wants to catch up on old times, and he gets all weird with Ryder when he asks A.J. to join us? Because you know Ryder won’t beat around the bush, Sid. He’ll hop right in there and hit the man like a two-by-four.”
Sidri snorted. “Oh, trust me, honey, I know. He was like that in college, too.” Then she sobered. “I’m not hearing anything but natural worry for your husband’s feelings, Lyss.”
Another sigh. “Yeah, I know. But then I started thinking…what if Ryder’s wrong about him? What if he’s not, you know, a sub?”
“Has Ryder ever been wrong before?”
“Well, no,” she admitted, “but he hasn’t seen the man in years, and far as I know, he wasn’t a practicing Dom back when he and A.J. knew each other. People change. We both know that.”
“True,” Sidri said slowly. “But like you said, that’s why Ryder’s going over there to see him, right? So one way or another, that question will be answered. And I’m still not hearing anything but natural nervousness. What’s really going on, ladybug?”
Lyss sucked in a deep breath, let it out slowly, and blurted, “What if A.J. wants Ryder, but wants nothing to do with me? What if he resents me? What if he hates me? And what if…what if Ryder decides…”
“To leave you for him?” Sidri finished, her tone hard. “Lyss, that’s ridiculous. That man loves you with everything in him.”
“Yeah, but…”
“But nothing,” Sidri cut her off. “He married you. He loves you desperately. No matter how strong his connection is with A.J., Ryder would never, ever leave you. Ever. Understand me? You’ve never doubted him before, ladybug. Don’t start doing so now.”
“I don’t think I’m doubting him,” Lyss admitted softly. “I think I’m doubting me.”
“Well, don’t,” Sidri said flatly. “Honey, when I met you, you were a strong, beautiful, independent, incredibly talented Domme. When you met Ryder, you became a strong, beautiful, independent, incredibly talented Switch. Your nature didn’t change—just the title that goes with it. Ryder loves you for who you are. And if this thing with A.J. works out, you’ll be adding to the relationship, not subtracting from it. Okay?”
“You think I’m borrowing trouble, don’t you?” Lyss said with a grimace. “Worrying about problems that don’t even exist, yet.”
“I do. Wait and see what Ryder says after he talks to A.J. If you’re still worried after that, talk it out with him. You know the rules.”
Lyss smiled. “Truth at all times, no matter how much it hurts.”
“Exactly.”
“Thanks, Sid. I think I just needed someone to tell me I was being ridiculous.”
“You’re not,” Sidri refuted quietly. “It’s natural, especially going into new territory in an established relationship. But you and Ryder are strong together, ladybug. Whether A.J. belongs to the both of you or not, you and Ryder will always have something special.”
They chatted for a few more minutes, then Lyss said good-bye and tossed her phone on the couch. Wrapping her arms around herself, she sat staring out the patio doors, mulling Sidri’s words over. Thank God she had the other Domme to turn to when her own instincts were skewed. Especially since she was still learning to trust those instincts.
It will be fine. Whatever happens with Ryder and A.J., I know Ryder loves me. If A.J. does belong to us, all the better. And if not, we’ll still have each other.
* * * *
When the doorbell rang, A.J. jumped to his feet like a marionette obeying his strings, heart pounding. He practically ran toward the door, but stopped himself from yanking it open. Taking several deep breaths, he wiped sweaty palms on his pant legs, pasted on a welcoming smile, and popped the locks. Then he took one last calming breath, and opened it.
And promptly forgot how to breathe.
Ryder stood there, hands shoved in his pockets, looking like a pin-up model for some kind of heartthrob calendar. He wore khaki slacks, a navy-blue button-up shirt, and brown wing-tips with a matching belt. His shield was clipped next to his belt buckle, proudly declaring he was a detective for HPD—otherwise, he didn’t look like a cop. But the strong set to his massive shoulders, the arrogant tilt to his manly jawline, and the way he assessed A.J. and his surroundings in a single glance declared that this man was not someone you wanted to mess with. And that body…
A.J. had to swallow several times, lest the drool escape. God in Heaven, Ryder was gorgeous. He’d grown into his frame since college. Now he had a build like a football player, with incredibly big biceps, a narrow waist, and long, muscular thighs. Clothes or no clothes, it was clear the man was seriously cut. And that face, God, that face. Not the least bit pretty, with just the right touch of ruggedness. Those amber eyes were just as arresting as A.J. remembered, and he still sported the trimmed mustache and neat beard he’d started growing their senior year. His hair was more of a chestnut color now, deep and rich, a perfect complement to those gorgeous eyes. He was, in a word, stunning.
A.J. let his eyes trail up and down Ryder’s body, unable to help himself, before finally yanking his gaze back to Ryder’s face. He found those incredible eyes focused on him, filled with some emotion A.J. couldn’t even begin to name.
A.J. swallowed, s
wallowed again, and prayed Ryder wouldn’t glance downward and see the hard-on he had no hope of hiding. “You look…God, Ryder, you look…” He trailed off with a shake of his head.
Ryder gave him a smirk, eyes twinkling. “Ditto, kid. Although I guess I shouldn’t call you that anymore, should I?”
Trying to hide a serious blush, A.J., looked down and gestured inside the house. “Please, come in. The place is a mess, I know. Sorry about that. Been busy with work.” He paused as Ryder passed within inches of him, choked by almost-debilitating lust. When he spoke again, his voice came out sounding like he was trying to speak through a cheese grater.
“I haven’t been to the store in a while, either,” he apologized as he closed the front door and followed Ryder into the living room. “So I’m afraid I don’t have any beer or soda to offer you. I have water, I guess. I’ll have to find a glass for you, but I can do that if you’re thirsty. Are you thirsty? I can go find some glasses…” He was rambling and he knew it, but nerves had his tongue all tied in knots.
Ryder seated himself, giving A.J. a small smile as he patted the cushion next to him. “Just sit and talk to me, A.J. Stop worrying so much.”
Easy for you to say. You’re not fighting the urge to drop to your knees and beg another man to give you a second chance. But he didn’t say that out loud. Instead, he nodded and gingerly sat on the couch, leaving plenty of room between the two of them.
“So, tell me everything,” Ryder said. “What have you been doing with yourself?”
A.J. laughed. “Me? What about you? I saw the badge on your belt. How the hell did you make Detective already? You’re what, barely thirty-one?”
Ryder propped one ankle on his opposite knee, a self-satisfied smirk lighting his features. “Thereabouts. And yeah, it’s a trip, isn’t it? Just got the promotion a couple of weeks ago.”
“How?” A.J. asked, genuinely curious.
“Busted up a drug ring,” Ryder said with a nonchalant wave of his hand, as if it were no big deal. “Kind of stumbled on it, actually. Some drugged-out snitch-turned-informant let slip more info than he intended. Busted a major drug runner who was hiding pills and pot inside the framework of construction equipment. Like, welded inside it. Pretty crazy stuff. Happened real fast.”
Saints United [For Love of Authority 3] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 8