A.J. found himself smiling hugely, unable to help himself. Ryder hadn’t changed a bit. He opened his mouth to ask more questions, but the other man beat him to it.
“But enough about me, man. How did you like working at Quantico? How did you end up in Houston? And how did you get my number? How did you even know I was here?”
A.J. sat back a little, folding his hands in his lap. Fortunately, Ryder’s rapid-fire style of asking questions allowed him to ignore the ones he didn’t want to answer right away. “My new boss gave me your number, actually.”
Ryder raised an eyebrow. “And who would that be?”
“Amber Henley-Jones. And Maddox.”
Ryder blinked. Blinked again. “Wait, are you the IT guy I was supposed to meet with today? You’re gonna be helping us at Street Smartz?”
A.J. nodded. “I’m designing the new security system. Amber and Maddox said that I needed to call you because you’re their liaison. That you know what they need. Maddox gave me your number.” He licked his lips and looked Ryder in the eye. “So we’ll be working together for the foreseeable future.”
“Are we, now?” Ryder purred, a slow, dangerous smile curving his lips. “Well isn’t that…interesting.”
Holy God, it was a good thing A.J. was already sitting down. All the blood just rushed from his big head to his little one between one breath and the next, making him dizzy. There was so much promise in those words, so much innuendo, it made A.J.’s balls draw up. And the look on Ryder’s face…
Those amber eyes smoldered like hot coals in a campfire, filled with so much blatant hunger it nearly took A.J.’s breath away. It was the same look Ryder had given him eight years ago, on the night that changed everything. The best night of A.J.’s life.
Which had been followed by his worst mistake.
Just then, as if Ryder were reading his thoughts out loud, Ryder whispered, “Why did you leave me, A.J.? Why did you run from me all those years ago?”
A.J. shuddered, looking down at his clasped hands. His knuckles were white, wrists shaking with tension. He cleared his throat and croaked, “I don’t know. At the time…”
“What?” Ryder prompted when A.J. trailed off.
He looked up to find Ryder’s gaze fastened on his face, mapping every tiny nuance in A.J.’s expression. A.J. licked lips gone suddenly dry as sandpaper. “At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“By leaving me without saying good-bye?” Ryder asked softly, though the question had hard edges.
A.J. winced. “By leaving so you could get on with your life,” he whispered. “You had a career to pursue, Ryder, and so did I. Even eight years ago that kind of…relationship…wasn’t as accepted as it is now. Certainly not among the police force. I was afraid if I stayed, I’d ruin both our careers. And what about your family? Your friends? Your reputation? I didn’t want to be the reason you lost everyone you cared about, not to mention your dream of becoming a cop. I thought I was doing what was best for both of us.”
Ryder sat back, resting one long arm across the top of the back of the couch, lips turned down in a frown. “So you left because you were afraid of what other people might think about us? You let the fear of someone else’s bad opinion drive you out of my bed that night? Is that what you’re saying?”
A.J. flinched, squeezing his eyes shut before nodding. “Yes, Ryder. That’s what I’m saying. I was too much of a coward to stick by you. Too afraid of ridicule for being with another man. And…and I couldn’t stand the thought of telling my parents about you, only to see disgust in my father’s eyes. I wasn’t strong enough back then. I told myself I was leaving to protect you.” He paused, cleared his throat again, and croaked, “But really…I was just protecting me.”
Ryder was silent for a long, long time. When he finally did speak, his voice was a bass rumble that vibrated through the air to lodge somewhere behind A.J.’s heart.
“You hurt me, A.J.,” Ryder admitted. “You hurt me a lot. I was angry with you for a long time after you left. Angry for years.”
“I don’t blame you,” A.J. said. “I was angry at myself for a long time. But, for what it’s worth…” He faced Ryder again, pain making his voice harsh and gravelly. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. Sorry I was such a coward. Sorry I left without saying good-bye. And, I’m sorry for letting my fear win. You didn’t deserve that. Not from me. God, Ryder, I’m so—”
“Hey,” Ryder said, cutting him off. He scooted over on the couch until his bent knee bumped A.J.’s thigh, making him suck in a sharp breath. The hand that had been resting on the back of the couch snaked forward, cupping the back of A.J.’s neck, giving him no choice but to look into Ryder’s face.
“Enough,” he said flatly, though his eyes still smoldered. “No more apologies. Past is past. Can’t change it. All we can do is move forward. You’re here now, right? We have a chance to start over.”
Time went all gooey and slow all of a sudden. A.J. stared into impossibly beautiful eyes, his heart doing wobbly loop-the-loops in his chest. Ryder’s hand, his left hand, slid forward across his lap to come to rest on A.J.’s thigh, just above his knee. That hand might as well have been wrapped around his cock, the way his body seized with lust over that single touch. A.J. licked his lips, breathing hard, wondering if Ryder was about to kiss him. His words certainly implied it. So did that hand on his thigh. A.J. glanced down, just to make sure that hand really was there…
And that’s when he noticed the ring.
Chapter 8
A.J.’s heart froze—and then shattered. Ryder’s married. Of course he’s taken. What else did I expect?
Feeling as if his body were made of spun sugar, about to break into a million infinitesimal pieces, A.J. drew away from Ryder’s touch and rose to his feet. Mildly amazed that his numb knees would hold his weight, he crossed the room and stopped in front of the huge bay window that overlooked the parking lot below. His back toward Ryder, he crossed his arms over his chest to keep from falling apart and spoke over his shoulder.
“So…who’s the lucky lady? Or…should I say lucky man?”
When Ryder didn’t answer right away, A.J. reluctantly turned. His friend—only his friend, who would never, ever be anything more than a friend—was watching him with a slight scowl on his face. A.J. schooled his expression, determined to show a brave front, despite the dejection that was making his body shake.
“Her name,” Ryder said after a pause, “is Alyssana. But everybody calls her Lyss.”
A.J. nodded, feeling…Nothing. I feel nothing. “How long have you guys been married?”
Ryder stood slowly, never taking his eyes off A.J.’s, and took a few slow steps forward. “We’ve been together four years. Married just over three. Why do I get the feeling you’re not happy with that, A.J.?”
Hell no, he was not having that conversation. “How did you guys meet?”
Ryder stepped closer, forcing A.J. to back up against the wall beside the door. “Do you remember Sidri and Tatum? From college?” Ryder said, stopping about three feet away. A.J. nodded. “Tatum introduced me to her. Lyss is Tatum’s cousin, from a branch of the family that lives in Georgia. He helped her move out here right before we met. Been with Lyss ever since.”
“That’s…really cool.” What else could he say? “So, Sidri and Tatum live here, too? I vaguely remember their parents had some sort of business here in Houston. How are they doing? Do you guys still…hang out?”
A funny little look crossed Ryder’s face, one that A.J. didn’t even try to identify. “Yeah, we still hang out. And they’re doing great, actually. In fact, they just got married about a year ago.”
“Really?” A.J. asked, genuinely surprised. “I would have thought those two would have gotten married a long time ago. Why’d they wait so long?”
Ryder cocked his head slightly, lips quirked in a half-smile. “They were waiting for the right man to come along.”
A.J. blinked. “Say…say what?”
“They didn’t get married to each other,” Ryder said silkily. He took one step forward. “They both got married to the same man.”
Wait…just wait. Hadn’t Amber told him that she was married to two men? Was Ryder seriously telling him there was a second triad relationship in his circle of friends? How could that be? What were the odds?
And why did the thought of being in a triad make A.J.’s cock harden even more?
“I…I don’t understand…” A.J. croaked.
Ryder took another step. Now he was so close, A.J. could feel the man’s body heat like a blanket thrown over his chest. “They’re in a triad relationship, A.J. Two men. One woman. And all three of them love each other.”
* * * *
Ryder watched the emotions flitting behind A.J.’s gorgeous blue eyes, everything in him screaming for him to take the man in his arms and kiss the living daylights out of him.
But he couldn’t. Not until he figured out what the hell was going on.
Fuck, A.J. was pure sex on two legs. The shoulders that had been a tad too lean in college were now broad and well-muscled, just begging for Ryder to run his hands over them. The face that had been boyishly naïve was now tempered with age and experience, giving his square jaw and flawless good looks a distinguished, worldly air. A.J. was no longer the sixteen-year-old genius who’d stumbled into Ryder’s heart too young to actually do anything about it. He was a man now. A real man, with real life experiences under his belt.
Experiences that had, for some reason, made him look at Ryder’s wedding ring with real terror in his eyes.
It didn’t make sense. Okay, yeah, most people would take a minute to adjust to the idea of a threesome—that is, if A.J. was actually getting Ryder’s gist. Maybe the glassy, stunned look on his face meant he hadn’t bridged the gap from “I’m married and off-limits” to “I’m married, and I want you in my bed, too.” And if A.J. had been hoping Ryder was still single, seeing that ring would have given him major pause. But A.J. was acting as if that ring were a barrier, a thousand-foot-wall he had no hope of scaling. And until Ryder knew what was causing him to feel that way, he couldn’t risk making a move and scaring the man even more.
God, he wished Lyss were here. She knew how to talk to people, how to finesse them so they’d do whatever she wanted without feeling manipulated. She would probably understand what A.J. was thinking without him even telling her, and know how to fix it. That’s why he’d wanted to bring her with him in the first place. She knew how to talk to people. Ryder didn’t.
Not that he had no people-skills. Just a different skill-set than most people thought existed. Give him the right setting, and he’d be all over this. Reading a sub’s body language was a skill he took pride in. But he’d spent his whole life suppressing the urge to take control outside of certain boundaries, to the point where he’d developed what Sidri called “an off-switch.” Put him inside a room at Club S—hell, his own bedroom—and he turned on like a nine-thousand-watt light bulb. Outside of those parameters…
He might as well be blind.
He needed Lyss. But, Lyss wasn’t here. So, he needed to get A.J. back to their place, pronto. But how to go about it?
After a long silence, during which A.J. stared at him with an incredulous look on his face, A.J. finally stammered, “H-h-how does that work? How did they…come to be with the same man?”
Ryder kept his tone casual. “Sid and Tatum always knew they needed a third. They weren’t enough for each other. So they found a man who fulfilled their needs. Both of them.”
A.J. blinked, but said nothing.
“You’ve never seen this before, have you?” Ryder asked, already knowing what A.J. was going to say.
“No,” A.J. confirmed. But then he frowned. “Well, almost no. Amber and Maddox said…they said they were both married to another man, too. A guy named Riley. I didn’t see the three of them together, but that’s kind of an odd thing to lie about. So…so you’re telling me you know two sets of people who are in…that kind of relationship?”
Ryder nodded, wondering why A.J.’s voice had gone so high and stilted. Did that mean he was interested? Please, God, let him be interested.
A.J. swallowed hard. “Don’t they…get jealous?”
Ryder snorted. “As if any of them suffer from that kind of insecurity. Be serious.”
“Insecurity?” A.J. cocked his head, looking honestly baffled. “What do you mean?”
He gave a one-armed shrug. “Can’t be jealous unless you’re afraid there’s something wrong with you personally. Unless you’ve got no confidence in yourself. At least, that’s what my psych professors said. Sid and Tatum are both über confident. So are Maddox and Riley, and they make sure Amber has no reason to feel insecure. Trust me, jealousy is the furthest thing from their minds.”
“That’s…” A.J. paused, shook his head. “That’s just…wow.” He stopped, looking up at Ryder sharply. “Are you…you and Lyss…I mean, have you guys ever…had a th–threesome?” The last was said in a strangled whisper that was laced with…was that longing?
Ah, there we go. Starting to get my meaning, aren’t you? Good boy. “Yes,” Ryder said, a slow smile lighting his face. “Does that interest you, A.J.? Because it for damn sure interests me.”
A.J. blushed, his cheeks going dark maroon as he glanced down at Ryder’s wedding ring—and flinched. “No,” he whispered.
“No?” Ryder echoed, trying to keep his tone casual. “Are you sure?”
A.J. glanced at Ryder’s ring again, then looked up at him, expression now blank. “I’m sure.”
Ryder huffed, impatience getting the better of him. “Look, we both know I’m not good at this shit, so I’m just going to ask. Are you married? I didn’t see a ring on your finger…”
A.J. shook his head, making Ryder’s heart soar. “Divorced. Just finalized about six months ago. Part of the reason I moved out here was because of that. I needed a fresh start.”
Ryder nodded slowly, taking a half-step forward. He was close enough now to feel the tension vibrating off the younger man. “Understandable. And I’m sorry about the divorce. Whoever she was, she didn’t deserve you.” A.J. flinched again, making Ryder scowl and ball his fists to keep from shaking answers out of the man. “What? What’d I say?”
“Nothing,” A.J. said immediately, though his eyes were bleak. “It’s nothing. So…so you and Lyss…” he paused, cleared his throat. “You guys are…happy?”
“Yeah, A.J.,” he said quietly. “We’re happy. And Lyss really wants to meet you.”
To his surprise, A.J.’s eyes widened. “No,” he whispered, voice hoarse, breathing accelerating. “No, Ryder, you can’t. You can’t introduce me to her. You can’t.”
“Why not?” he demanded.
A.J. licked his lips. “What if…what if she finds out…about….about us…?”
Ryder cocked his head. “A.J.…Lyss already knows.”
A.J. went very, very still.
“She knows,” Ryder said again, studying the man’s expression, wishing he had Sidri’s freaky telepathy so he could tell what the hell was going on in that head of his. “She’s always known about you.”
“Does she know we slept together?” A.J. asked, his voice back to high and strained, filled with fear.
Ryder nodded. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I tell her?”
But instead of being mollified, A.J. started panicking. His beautiful blue eyes went wide, filled with such soul-crushing terror, it made Ryder’s heart hurt. “You have to leave,” A.J. cried suddenly, chest heaving. “You have to leave right now!”
“What the hell?” Ryder grabbed hold of A.J.’s upper arm as the other man tried to push past him. “What the hell is going on, A.J.?”
“You have to leave!” he nearly shouted, taking hold of Ryder’s wrist. “You have to leave, right fucking now. God, Ryder, I’m so sorry. I never should have called you, okay? You need to leave, right now, before she finds out…”
&
nbsp; “A.J., calm down,” Ryder growled. “I told you, Lyss already knows about us.”
“You have to leave!” A.J. said again. “Before she finds out you were here! You have to go right now, don’t you get it?”
“Why?” Ryder demanded. “Tell me what the fuck is going on, A.J. Lyss knows I’m here, okay? She knows what happened between us and she already knows I’m here now. Why the hell are you freaking out? What does Lyss knowing about us have to do with anything?”
A.J. froze, staring at Ryder with such abject terror, Ryder couldn’t help wrapping one hand behind the man’s neck. A.J.’s mouth worked up and down for a moment before he finally whispered, “She’ll hate me. She’ll hate you for being here with me. She’ll think…she’ll think we’re…God, Ryder, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to fuck up your marriage. I swear I didn’t. You have to leave, okay? You have to leave before it gets any worse…”
Not one damn word out of A.J.’s mouth made a lick of sense. Either that, or Ryder had suddenly stopped being able to understand English. This whole scene was surreal. A.J. was starting to hyperventilate, his eyes dilated, his whole body shaking in Ryder’s arms. Whatever the fuck this was, it was serious. As serious as a heart attack. And he had no idea what the hell was going on.
Snarling, Ryder did the only thing he could think of. He switched his hold to the base of A.J.’s neck, collaring him just above his collar bone, and slammed him back against the wall beside the door. When A.J.’s hands flew up to circle Ryder’s wrist, he captured one and slammed A.J.’s arm against the wall over his head. The moment A.J. realized he was pinned, he froze.
Ryder stared into those terror-filled blue eyes until some of the panic started draining away. As soon as A.J.’s reason started returning, Ryder turned his hold at A.J.’s neck into a deliberate caress.
Saints United [For Love of Authority 3] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 9