On Her Master's Secret Service, Masters and Mercenaries, Book 4

by Lexi Blake

  “I wish I could have taken that pain for you. I don’t know how you made it through.” His voice was tortured, but he kissed her. He kissed his way down the scar on her neck. He didn’t let go. He didn’t pull away.

  She let her arms tighten. It was safe to talk now. “I made it through because you were there with me. I closed my eyes and I pretended you were there. I went crazy. I started to see you when he would walk in and I would go somewhere else in my mind. I played back our sweet times in my head.”

  “I was with you.” He whispered into her ears, his words achingly sweet. “I was with you. I knew you were in pain, and do you know what I wanted more than anything?”

  “What?” She was sure he had wanted it to all go away.

  “I wanted you alive. I prayed, angel. I prayed that you could take that pain and make your way back to me. I wanted nothing more than to be able to hold you like this. Just fucking like this. I love you. I loved you then. I love you now. I will love you long after we’re dead and gone. I love you, and I made the biggest mistake of my life when you came back to me. I should have danced and praised the fucking universe, and all I could do was give in to my guilt. Forgive me.”

  How long had she needed to hear those simple words? “I needed you, Alex.”

  He moved along her body, his erection pressed against her core. “Forgive me.”

  “I tried to get your attention, but you were so far away. I thought that you didn’t want me. I thought that you didn’t want something that he’d had.”

  A fierce look came into his eyes and he got to his knee, looking down at her. “You are mine. I don’t care what he did to you. You are fucking mine. You’ve been mine since the day you told me you loved me, and he can’t take that away unless we let him.” His hands went to his shirt and he tossed it overhead. “You gave yourself to me. You belong to me and nothing will change that except my own mistakes. I should have gotten inside you again the first chance I had. I should have pushed you, even just a little, but I let my guilt keep me away.”

  His hands were working the fly of his jeans and Eve’s whole body softened. She likely looked a mess. She’d never been a pretty crier. She went all out, red nose and blotchy face, but Alex was looking at her like she was the goddess of love and beauty.

  “I should have talked to you, but I was afraid of what I would hear,” Eve explained. “You aren’t the only one at fault here.”

  He got off the bed with a frustrated growl and shoved his jeans off his hips, toeing off his shoes in the process. He just tossed his clothes to the side and then was back on top of her again. He seemed so hungry for her, as hungry as she was for him.

  “I’ll tell you how I felt. I felt out of control. I felt lost. I didn’t want to make a wrong move with you.” He touched the scar on her neck. “I thought you were fragile, and I couldn’t stand the thought that I would break you.”

  “I was fragile at the time.” She let her arms drift up to the headboard of the bed, offering him access. “I know I flinched when you touched me, but that wasn’t about you.”

  “I knew that intellectually.” He ran his hand down from her neck to her breasts, brushing against the nipples. “But inside I wondered if you blamed me. I certainly did.”

  She shook her head. “No, Alex.”

  “You told me I was starting a war.”

  “I didn’t imagine he would come after me. It didn’t really fit his profile. I had to change my profile afterward. He was very direct until his attack on me. Don’t blame yourself. You did everything you could. You left Tommy and Leon behind to protect me.”

  His eyes closed briefly. “Only because Warren suggested it. Demanded is more like it. He even picked the guys. It still didn’t work.”

  She needed to bring him back. She’d spent too many years letting him drift in his guilt, but now she knew it was her place to tether him so he couldn’t get lost again. “Kiss me, Alex.”

  He frowned. “Where are we?”

  In bed. So he would expect certain protocols. “Please kiss me, Master.”

  “Better.” He brushed his lips against hers before returning to her breasts, his momentary lapse obviously gone. “I love your nipples. Have I ever mentioned that?”

  He lowered his head down and sucked one into his mouth.

  Eve’s eyes drifted closed with pleasure. Yes, this was what she needed. “You might have from time to time. I think Warren blames himself, too. You two were so close and then you haven’t talked for years. He called me, you know.”

  Alex’s head came up, and the caveman reared his too gorgeous head again. “He called my wife?”

  So possessive. “He called that day to tell me he was going to bring you home. He promised me he would bring you back to me. It’s why I thought it was you at the door. I thought he’d talked some sense into you.”

  “I was stubborn, Eve.” He looked up, pulling his body along hers, chest to chest, their legs entangled. “I need to hear the words. I need to hear you forgive me.”

  She reached for him, her hands cupping his face. It had been forever since they had just looked into each other’s eyes. How had she let him slip away? How had she allowed him to drift away when he’d been the only reason she’d survived? “I forgive you, Alex. Forgive me, too.”

  He kissed her forehead, making her feel precious. “Always, angel. I promise to put you first from now on. I know you don’t think this can really work, but I’m going to show you. And I am definitely going to reclaim my sub. Starting now.”

  Eve gasped a little as Alex moved quickly, flipping her over.

  “Hands and knees, Eve. Tonight you’re all mine.”

  Every cell in her body came to life because he was wrong about one thing. She was starting to believe it could work.

  They just might be able to start over again.

  Chapter Twelve

  Alex stared at her for a moment. She was right where he wanted her, on her hands and knees, waiting for his instructions. God, they had wasted so much time, mired in their own miseries when all they’d needed was to reach out and hold on to one another.

  “Do you really forgive me?” He knew what her answer was going to be, but somehow he needed to hear it again.

  “Alex, I love you.”

  Something changed inside him. Something fundamental shifted with her words. “I think we should go home. I’ll call Warren and turn this whole thing over to him.”

  His wife was more important than anything else. His wife was the end all, be all of existence.

  “We can’t.” Eve turned her head back. “We’re close. I need to see this through. Once we figure out when and where he’s going to be, then we can call in Warren, but we’re in the best place to find him. I need to follow through, not for revenge, but just for some peace. I need to do what I can to make sure he can’t hurt another woman. I need to do this.”

  This was a completely perverse fight. He ran a hand down the length of her spine. “We’re here to observe and gather intelligence only. The parameters of this mission have changed. I’m not willing to lose any of you to him. Is that understood?”

  If he could take Evans down without endangering Eve in any way, then he would. If that wasn’t an option, then he would give up his revenge.

  “Yes, Master.” There was a sweet satisfaction to her words.

  Holy hell, they were on the same page for the first time in years. Oh, it was a completely different book, but they were finally together. His cock surged, lust threatening to overtake him.

  “Spread your knees. Let me in. I want to taste you first.”

  “Master, please, can we taste each other?”

  His whole body tensed. “Are you sure, angel?”

  She hadn’t taken his cock in her mouth since the rape. “More than anything. I want this part of us back. I want to serve my Master, my lover. I want to give something back to you.”

  He twisted his body, lying down flat on the bed. “I want to give you everything you need this time.
Come on. Take me.”

  Eve moved quickly, her body graceful, her eagerness lighting up his heart. She settled her knees on either side of his head. Alex fucking loved that view. Her pretty pussy was creamy and ready to be taken by him any way he wanted it, and he wanted it in all ways.

  He pulled on her hips, not willing to wait another second to dip his tongue in.

  And then it was his turn to groan because he felt a little whisper across his flesh. Eve’s tongue dashed and darted along his cock, licking and playing with the head. It was all he could do to not shudder and shake as she drew him into her mouth in light, sucking passes. Her hands were on his thighs, balancing herself as she played with his cock.

  He rubbed his nose in her pussy, reveling in the unique scent of her arousal. He wouldn’t wash his face. No. Not tonight. He would be able to smell her all night long.

  Over and over he speared into her pussy, using his tongue like he would his cock, fucking deep inside and gathering all her cream. He pulled apart the sweet petals of her sex and sucked them into his mouth one after another. He left no inch of her untouched by his lips and tongue. All the while, she forced his cock deeper and deeper into the hot recesses of her mouth, enveloping him in her heat.

  He could feel his cock pulsing with pre-come. A low groan burst from his chest as he felt Eve lick at the slit of his cock, drawing his saltiness onto her tongue before sucking the head in again. She brought one hand up and cupped his balls, rolling them and making him damn near lose control.

  But that wasn’t going to happen. No. Not tonight. Another night he would let her lick and suck and play until she’d drawn every ounce of semen he had into her mouth, but tonight, he wanted something more.

  His tongue spearing deep again, Alex found her clit with the pad of his thumb. He pressed that little button hard, and she began to shake. The muscles of her pussy tightened as she came and her orgasm coated his tongue. She surrounded him, his whole being enveloped in her smell and taste and the sound of her pleasure.

  All through it, she never drew her mouth off his cock. She groaned and moaned around it, the vibrations threatening to unman him.

  He had about two seconds before she managed to get him to the back of her throat and then he was done for. Using every ounce of his willpower, he flipped her off him.

  Eve landed on her back in the center of the bed, all that wild hair flowing around her. It curled around her breasts and damn near reached her hips. So fucking gorgeous. Everything about her called to the primal male inside him. She was always so prim and proper in the workplace. Even in the club, there was a certain reserve that his Eve always kept about her. But here in the privacy of their bedroom, she was simply his, a woman with no inhibitions. His mate.

  “Hands and knees again.” The command came out harder than he’d meant it, but if it frightened her, she didn’t show it.

  She simply sighed, her whole body moving with languid grace as she did as he commanded. She turned and positioned herself as though she could see what he wanted without him having to ask. Her ass was high in the air, her forearms flat on the bed making a perfect plane of her back.

  His hands found the globes of her ass. “Do you know what I’m going to do to you, Eve?”

  Her breath hitched, but the position she’d placed herself in told him the answer before she spoke. “You’re going to take my ass.”

  Oh, hell yeah. “I am. I’m going to take it again because it’s mine.”

  His whole body was taut with desire. The time he’d spent in her soft mouth had his cock primed and ready to go off. He’d had her more in the last few days, more intimately and deeply than in the five years that preceded them, but all he wanted was more. Now that he had her again, all he could think about was more time, more love, more of her.

  He kissed her back, running his lips along her spine and paying attention to the scars she had, lavishing affection on them. He ran his hands up her sleek body, finding her breasts again and palming them as he kissed her everywhere he could. Shoulder, neck, down to her waist. His lips dipped into the dimples in the small of her back, and he carefully kissed her sweet cheeks. They bore the mark of his discipline. The sight tightened his cock further.

  He slid his hands down, over the flat of her stomach to her pussy. Eve’s head bowed, a sure sign that she was willing to surrender everything to him.

  His cock found her pussy and he sighed. The orgasm he’d given her had made her juicy and ripe. She was more than ready for him.

  “Tell me something, Eve.” Now that they were in a good place, he had some questions for her, some things he’d wondered about. And she just might answer honestly with his fingers deep inside her pussy and his thumb circling her clit. There was no reason she shouldn’t have a few orgasms before he got his. He wanted her boneless and exhausted and sleeping in his arms.

  “Anything.”

  “You haven’t let me have this gorgeous little asshole for years, but you allowed me to plug you during scenes. Were you trying to taunt me? Were you trying to remind me of what I couldn’t have?” He didn’t think so. He thought it was for another reason, but he wanted to hear it from her.

  “No,” she said in a breathless voice. “No, Alex. I wouldn’t do that. I let you plug me so I would stay trained. I did it because I always hoped we would be back here. I did it because it reminded me of how it felt to have you deep inside me, everywhere.”

  That was his wife. “I thought about it, too. I thought about being inside you, nothing forbidden. Nothing is going to come between us again. I promise you that.” He was going to make sure of it. He reached for the lube, eager to prepare her. “I’m the Dom. I should have ordered you to come back to me.”

  She turned slightly, looking back, and he loved the little frown on her face. He loved the way she fought with him now. She fought to keep her place. It was easy to see she wasn’t going to let him roll over her the way he used to and there was a piece of him that thrilled to it. She was going to challenge him, force him to see her side. This was what had been missing before, what they had needed to find. “Don’t you pull the big bad Dom act with me.”

  He parted the cheeks of her ass, sighing a little at the sight of her rosette. Such a pretty little asshole. So small and tight and so about to be invaded. “You like the big bad Dom, angel.”

  She shivered a little as he dribbled lube on her asshole. “You needed me, too. You needed me to talk to you, but I just kept pushing. I should have thrown a fit and demanded that you pay attention to me instead of trying to top from the bottom.”

  He stopped. He felt a brilliant smile creasing his mouth up. A whole, beautiful world had just opened up in front of him. “You’ve been topping from the bottom for five years, Eve.”

  “Oh, shit,” she cursed under her breath. “We should talk about this. There were psychological reasons for that.”

  He adored the way her skin flushed. He lubed up his middle finger and started a slow circle of that hole his dick was dying to get into. “Oh, baby, do you know how long and hard I’m going to punish you? I can’t tell you what’s going to happen to your ass when we get back to Sanctum. You are going to be the poster girl for submissive obedience.”

  A little laugh puffed from her mouth even as she stiffened slightly. “I think the word you’re looking for is ‘cautionary tale’ and we should really talk about this. We need to talk about how things are going to work when we get back to Dallas. We’ve been apart for a long time. We should take things slow.”

  He growled a little. She wanted to talk, and he wanted to be balls deep in her ass. He pressed his finger in slightly, just to the first knuckle. The little gasp Eve gave him went straight to his cock, making his balls pulse.

  She wanted to know what would happen when they got back to Dallas? He could do that for her. He rimmed her gently, forcing her to open for him. “All right. We can take things slowly. When we get back, you’ll have an hour or so before I move everything from your apartment to mine.”

>   She groaned, her hands clutching the pillows in front of her. “That’s not taking things slowly.”

  “It’s far too slow for me.” Another knuckle. Two deep and she was clenching at his finger. “If I had my way, I would call tonight and arrange for everything to be at my place when we get back. See, baby, I can totally compromise.”

  “That’s not compromise.” Her backside clenched as he slid another finger in. “God, Alex. It’s been so long.”

  This was what he should have done the whole time. The next time he and Eve fought, they would talk about it—with his dick deep inside some part of her body. They would talk between kisses and fight while they fucked, but every minute they would hold on to each other. “Yes, it is compromise. I’m the Dom so I make up the definitions of words.”

  She laughed, shuddering as he scissored his fingers deep. “That’s a new one. Any other new rules I should know about?”

  So many new rules. “We’re getting married again. And we’re tearing up that dumbass contract. We’ll negotiate a new one. You and me together, and you should know I’m going to push your every boundary. We’ll go to the courthouse and then you can take a few days and look for a house because I really want a house again. Something nice, with bedrooms for kids.”

  She stopped, her voice a tiny rasp. “Alex, you know that won’t happen.”

  “I do not.” Doctors weren’t always right, and they had only said that it might be difficult. He was done giving up on the things he wanted. He pulled his fingers out and used the wipes to clean off before lubing up his cock. “I only know that I love you, and I want a family with you. That family does not have to come out of your womb. If you want, we’ll get a surrogate, but there are thousands of children out there who would be blessed to have you as a mother.”

  Eve would be a wonderful mother. He’d always seen her surrounded by family, their family.

  “But you always wanted your own kids.”