The Plague Dogs: A Novel

by Richard Adams

  Twenty minutes later, plodding in the direction of the pallid sunset still faintly visible through the drift, they crossed the north shoulder of Raise above Sticks Pass and looked down at the innumerable, scudding flakes disappearing as they fell upon the dark sheet of Thirlmere.

  “Where are we, Rowf?”

  “I don’t know about you, but I’m a good throat’s length away from my stomach.”

  “I wish the tod were here. He’d know what to do.”

  “The tod—it’s all my fault. I’m sorry, Snitter.”

  “Never mind, old Rowf. It can’t be helped now. Oh, Rowf! Oh, my dam! Look—look! That’s why they’ve done it! Oh, they’re clever, aren’t they? If they’re so clever, why can’t they just come and kill us and be done with it?”

  Behind them, up the slope of the shoulder they had climbed, their tracks showed clearly, black paw-marks impressed on the lightly covered, white ground; two lines stretching back and down until they were lost in the blotted-out waste of Stang.

  “Everywhere we go!” breathed Snitter. “They can see where we’ve been and everywhere we go!”

  “No, they can’t,” said Rowf after a few moments’ thought. “They’ve been too clever this time. Don’t you see, as long as this stuff goes on falling, it blots out the marks we make in it?”

  “But when it’s finished falling? They’re just not ready for us yet, that’s all.”

  “I know a trick worth two of that. The tod’s got nothing on me. We’re not beat yet, Snitter. It doesn’t lie in the becks—look. The water melts it. So down that beck we go, come on. There you are—not a print to be seen. Are you all right?”

  “My feet are cold,” gasped Snitter, splashing and shivering.

  House of Commons,

  Westminster, sw 1.

  Dear Basil,

  It was a great pleasure for Cecily and I [Sic, thought the Under Secretary, reading] to see Molly and yourself once again at the Guildhall dinner last week, and I trust that it may not be long before your many engagements permit you to pay the visit to my constituency of which we spoke in general terms on that occasion. I think there are quite a few floating votes which might well be picked up by a judicious appearance on your part in key places, when you can spare the time.

  As you will, of course, be aware, a good deal of uneasiness is felt throughout this constituency area at the moment on account of the trouble given rise to by the dogs which have escaped from Lawson Park. I know that Bill Harbottle and yourself take the view that dogs can’t carry bubonic plague, but if I may say so, it is one thing to affirm from Westminster and quite another to persuade constituents—some of whom are not scientifically minded—after they have had the full benefit of the kind of stuff which the London Orator has been disseminating lately. I’m afraid I need convincing that there are no firm grounds for anxiety. Shouldn’t things be put right sooner rather than later? In my view, reassurance needs to be accompanied by action!

  Sorry to bother you on top of all your other preoccupations, but I would welcome a line to say what advice I should give my constituents. Perhaps we might profitably have a word in the House at some convenient moment?

  Ever yours,

  Jack

  Immediate. Private Secretary’s Office. For Advice, Please, and Draft Reply as soon as possible.

  “Oh, bother!” said the Under Secretary, wrinkling his nose and staring at the red slip stapled across the green folder. “I suppose Michael has departed for Lawson Park, has he?”

  “Oh, yes, he’s been gone some time. I phoned to make sure,” answered his personal assistant, raising one hand to pat her hair as she cleared the OUT tray with the other.

  “Well, I suppose we’ll just have to do it ourselves,” said the Under Secretary. “No time like the present. Could you take dictation, please, Jean—one plus—er—two, draft, double-space? Er—h’m—yes—’I am replying at once to your letter of 18th November, in which you speak of local anxiety caused by the recent escape of two dogs from the Animal Research Station at Lawson Park.

  “ ‘While I fully understand and sympathize with your very natural feelings in this matter, I should, I think, make it clear that the Secretary of State is strongly of the view that this, which is essentially a local problem, should remain one for tackling, at all events in the first place, by the local authorities concerned. The Medical Officers of Health in the area (whose Association are in full agreement with my Chief Medical Officer as to the extreme unlikelihood of these dogs being able to carry bubonic plague) will no doubt wish to take immediate steps to allay local anxiety—’ ”

  Two starlings alighted outside, strutted, tussled and let their liquid sittings fall to stain the Under Secretary’s stiff, dishonoured window-sill.

  Saturday the 20th November

  PLAGUE DOG “DANGEROUS BRUTE”

  Former Master’s Sister Tells Why She Sold It to Research Station

  Office executive Mrs. Ann Moss, of Dalton-in-Furness, got a shock yesterday. The reason? She learned that “Snitter,” the fox terrier formerly belonging to her solicitor brother before his tragic death in a traffic accident, was none other than one of the escapees from Animal Research (Scientific and Experimental), Lawson Park, Cumberland, better known to millions as the “Plague Dogs.” The two dogs, which are widely believed to be infected with bubonic plague contracted in the course of their nocturnal escape, have inaugurated a reign of terror throughout the Lakeland, indiscriminately killing sheep, ducks and hens and terrifying farmers and their wives by their ruthless attacks on lonely homesteads.

  Not to Blame

  “I can’t really think myself to blame,” said handsome, dignified Mrs. Moss, interviewed yesterday at her Dalton-in-Furness home. “The dog had always been dangerous—wild and hard to control-given to attacking cats and making trouble for my brother and myself. It was really only kept on because my brother had such a kind heart and couldn’t face the idea of getting rid of it. After the accident—which was actually brought about by the dog itself, but I can’t bear to talk about that—I was left with the responsibility of dealing with my poor brother’s things and had to do as I thought best. Naturally, I couldn’t be expected to take such a dog into my own home. I was going to have it put down, but when my sister’s husband, who is a vet, told me that Animal Research were seeking an adult, domesticated dog for experimental purposes, that seemed better for everyone concerned, including the dog. Of course, I never had any notion that my well-meant idea would have such terrible results, or that the Research Station would allow it to escape. I really think they ought to have taken more care.”

  Capable of Savagery

  Mrs. Moss left me in no doubt that “Snitter” is a dog capable of savagery and one that—

  “Oh, hell!” said Digby Driver, putting out his cigarette with a hiss in the slopped saucer of his teacup. “All this is beginning to smell of day jar voo. What we need now is something new—pep the whole thing up to a higher level. A photograph of the dogs in action—some indiscretion by the people at Lawson Park—an official statement by a Minister; not that I could cover that from here—but some bloody thing or other we need, to get a fresh driving force behind the story. Undiagnosed illness somewhere round about? No, that’s no good-only fall flat when it’s proved not to be plague—as of course it would be. Hell’s bells, let me think, let me think—”

  “I can’t tell, Rowf. It’s puzzling, and I’m afraid I’m not making much sense after wandering about all night in this cold. But perhaps the people in the cars aren’t looking for us after all. They all go by at such a rate. If they were after us they wouldn’t have far to look, would they?”

  “Damn them, they all look as fat as castrated Labradors. Why can’t one of them stop and give us some food?”

  “I’m starving, Rowf. I’m perished with this cold. It’s a long time since sunrise now, but it doesn’t seem to get any warmer. Can you feel your paws?”

  “Don’t be silly. They must have dropped off hours ago.
”

  “Rowf, let’s find a house, or a farm or something and give ourselves up. Licking men’s hands would be better than licking this cold stuff off our paws. They might feed us before they took us back to the whitecoats, you never know. Otherwise we’ll die out here for sure.”

  Rowf threw back his head and barked at the close, muffling sky. The snow, which had ceased during the night, had been falling steadily again for the past hour, and in the swirling confusion neither dog could make out either the hills whence they had come or what lay beyond the main road, where the cars and lorries went whang-whanging past behind the dismal sheen of their lights in the gloom.

  “Rowf-rowf! Rowf-rowf! Go on, pour down the lot and bury us underneath it, blast you! I don’t care! You’re not as cruel or contemptible as the whitecoats who used to put me in the tank! They were supposed to be masters—you’re not! I’m just a dog, starving to death, but I’m still better than you, whatever you are! You’re licking the whitecoats’ hands. Aren’t you ashamed? Miles of bitter sky and freezing cold powder against a couple of starving dogs! Rowf-rowf! Rowf-rowf!”

  “Rowf, even a whitecoat indoors would be better than this cold stuff out of doors. If only I had my head in a decent kennel, it’d be a lot less mad than it is now.”

  “I shan’t say any more. I never barked when they drowned me: I knew my duty all right. I can die out here as well as ever I did in there.”

  “I say, Rowf, there’s a car stopping! Look, it’s pulled in to the side, just up there. Can you see?”

  “Don’t care. Let it.”

  “D’you think they’re looking for us?”

  “If they’re looking for me they’ll find a lot of teeth.”

  “There’s a woman getting out. She looks a bit like Annie Mossity, in that fur coat. It isn’t Annie, though. Oh, look, Rowf, she’s gone up behind that rock to pee! I always wondered how they did it. Look at the steam! It seems rather a funny bit of ground to want to lay claim to—still, I suppose she knows what she wants. What’s the man doing? He’s got out, too. He’s looking at the lights or something on the car. Oh, Rowf, can you smell the meat? Meat, Rowf, meat! There’s meat in that car!”

  “Snitter, come back!”

  “I’ll be shot if I come back! Look, you can see into the back of the car! That’s a shopping basket. My master used to have one. It’s full of things to eat—they always wrap them up in paper like that. Wherever there’s men there’s paper- and food!”

  Rowf caught up with him. “Snitter, stop! They’ll only hurt you or shut you up again, like they did in that shed.”

  “They won’t! I’m desperate, I’m mad, I’m dangerous—remember me? They throw chickens after me to get rid of me faster! I’m bold untold in the great white cold, I’m the dread with the head, the nit with the split! Here I go, who dares say no!”

  Capering, ears erect, staring white-eyed, rolling head over heels, wagging a frothing muzzle, curling his upper lip until the black gums showed above his teeth, Snitter, out of the thickened gloom, came mopping and mowing down upon the car. In the sight of the driver (a young man named Geoffrey Westcott), starting in surprise and peering quickly round with vision half-dazzled from his examination of the alignment of the headlight beams, his eyes were two full moons, he had a thousand noses, horns whelked and waved like the enridged sea. Thou hast seen a farmer’s dog bark at a beggar, and the creature run from the cur? There thou mightst behold the great image of Snitter. So did Mr. Westcott. With a spasm of horror he recognized the features of which he had read in the paper—the green plastic collar, the split head, the air of gaunt, crazy savagery. Even as he cried out and ran, Snitter leapt into the car, jumped over the back of the driving seat and, slavering, began to drag the soft, squashy, meat-reeking parcels out of the wicker basket on the back seat. Rowf, up beside him in a moment, gripped a joint of mutton in his jaws and sprang with it out of the car door. As they gulped and chewed, the snow grew dappled red with blood, brown with fragments of sausage, chocolate and kidney, yellow with butter and biscuit-crumbs. Plastic wrappers and shreds of paper blew away on the wind.

  “Look out, Snitter, the man’s coming back!”

  “I don’t care. Tell him I want a blanket as well! A cloud would do—ashes, hay, newspapers tell him—”

  “Snitter, he’s got a gun! That’s a gun!”

  Snitter looked up quickly. “No, it isn’t. I’ve seen those flat, black boxes before. Lots of men have them. My master had one. They just make little snicking noises, that’s all.”

  “But he’s pointing it at us!”

  “I know. I tell you, they do that. You needn’t worry: it’s not a gun. There—did you hear that little click? That’s all they do. Anyway, that’s the lot now, except for what’s left of this great lump of meat here. You licked up the eggs off the back seat, didn’t you?”

  “Of course I did. What d’you take me for? Better than the tod’s eggs, those were. You grab that soft stuff and I’ll carry this great bone here. Come on!”

  They vanished into the whirling desolation as Mr. Westcott supported his sobbing, trembling lady passenger back towards the road. It had indeed been a terrible experience, and Mrs. Green might very well have wet her knickers if she had had anything left to wet them with. The driving door was swinging ajar and the back seat looked like a field of war and if it was not Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer, that redoubtable pair would certainly not have been ashamed of the job. Shocked and dazed, but nevertheless deeply thankful at least to have escaped contact and infection, the two of them left the deadly, contaminated vehicle where it stood and set out to walk the four miles to Keswick through the snow.

  Five minutes later Snitter reappeared, followed by the reluctant Rowf, and set to work to finish off the scraps.

  “I’m not leaving anything, I tell you!”

  “It’s not safe, Snitter! They’ll come back, or another car will stop.”

  “I don’t care! I shall have eaten the lot, and nothing can alter that.”

  “Come on! Don’t overdo it! There’s a man coming!”

  “I’ll sing him a song!

  “O I’m a bold dog with a skull like a drain, (Sing chompety, chumpety, piddle-de-dee!)

  I’m horribly wild and completely insane, (Sing wiggety waggety, hark at him braggety, Mumble a bone on the lea!)”

  Nevertheless when, a minute later, the police Jaguar drew up to see why an empty car, with headlights on and driving door wide open, was parked on the hard shoulder, the only canine traces were two lines of paw-marks disappearing into the mirk.

  The telephone rang. Digby Driver picked it up.

  “Driver Orator.”

  “Is that Mr. Digby Driver himself speaking?”

  “It is indeed. Who might I—”

  “Mr. Driver, you don’t know me, but my name’s Westcott, Geoffrey Westcott, and I believe I’ve got something of considerable interest both to tell and to show you. My landlady and I were attacked and robbed this morning by your Plague Dogs. They drove us off and then ransacked my car.”

  “Christ Almighty! Where?”

  “It was during a snowstorm, near Smaithwaite Bridge, a little north of Thirlmere. We’d stopped the car and got out for a minute, when the dogs just appeared and fell on it.”

  “But you say ransacked and robbed? What of, for God’s sake?”

  “All my landlady’s shopping, out of the back of the car. Everything that was edible, that is. They ate the lot.”

  “You’re sure it was the Plague Dogs?”

  “I’m as good as certain, Mr. Driver. But more than that, I’ve got several photographs of them, taken from about twenty-five to thirty yards’ distance. Would you be interested in acquiring those for your paper?”

  “I’d like to meet you right away. Where are you?”

  Mr. Westcott gave an address in Windermere.

  “I’m on my way,” said Digby Driver, and slammed down the receiver.

  Vaguely aware of the two glimmering squares of the
casements opposite and of the wash-basin between and below them—its waste-pipe an elephant’s grey trunk curving downward into the floor—Mr. Powell staggered on through the snow, shivering with fever and tormented with a sick headache that never left him. Sometimes he clutched a drift of cotton snow about him for warmth. Anon, he flung it aside as he clambered, sweating with the effort, out of the piled heap of snow into which he had fallen and become engulfed to the neck.

  He was at Stalingrad, lost, out of touch with his unit and as a last hope making his way back to 6th Army headquarters. The enemy were shaggy, black dogs, armed with casks of hot whisky slung round their necks, the terrible effect of which was to intensify headache and induce nausea and vomiting. They could be seen everywhere—dark shapes scudding down from the bitter hills to cut communications on the roads, or skulking in the balance-cupboards behind isolated cylinders, to ambush any fugitive who might try to seek shelter. All organized resistance had broken down and the stragglers were wandering to the rear in desperate search of relief. But there was no relief for Mr. Powell.

  “The tanks!” muttered Mr. Powell, tossing from side to side. “Too many tanks—too many dogs in tanks!”

  As he spoke he came in sight at last of headquarters, a huge, grey ruin standing alone in an expanse of white snow. He floundered towards it, scratching, through his sweat-sodden pyjamas, at his unwashed, itching body, and as he came closer saw that it was, or had once been, a cathedral. Struggling, he turned the heavy, iron ring of the door and stumbled inside.

  At first he could perceive nothing, but then, raising his eyes to the source of the dim light, he saw, with a sense of recognition and relief, the rabbits—row upon row of them—gazing gravely down from the hammer beams and the lamp-lit reredos. Even here it was very cold and throughout the building there was not a sound save that of his own coughing, which echoed in the nave.