Burn with me

by Rachael Tonks

  “Thanks. I have something I need to do. Wait here, I’ll be back to help.” I drop the broom on top of the table and race out of the door. The group of guys are getting into their car as I run toward them, trying to gain their attention.

  “Hey,” I yell loud, straining so bad it scratches the back of my throat.

  “Hey, man, that hot piece of ass is back,” I hear one of the men shout. The main guy, the ringleader, steps out of the car, slowly sauntering toward me. With his head held high, he wears a smug grin on his face. I don’t get too close. Just close enough for him to see the wallet in my hand. I stand there, holding it up in front of me.

  “You forgot this!”

  “So I did. But you just couldn’t wait to get me on your own, away from your boss. Could you?”

  “Oh,” I groan, “get over yourself. I’m just returning your wallet.” I hold out my hand, offering it to him, only to snap it back the second he reaches for it.

  “But,” I say loudly, holding up my index finger. “You owe big time for the mess you made in there. Not to mention the drinks you didn’t pay for.”

  “Like fuck I do. That dick of a boss threw our asses out. He ain’t getting a damn thing from me.”

  “Really?” I ask, a smirk on my face. He watches my every move as I open the wallet and take out a bunch of bills. “This should cover it.” I hold up the cash before throwing his wallet at him. I turn on my heel, ready to make my way back inside.

  “Just a fucking minute,” he growls before lunging toward me, pushing me heavily on the arm. I lose my balance and drop down, the money flying to the ground and blowing across the parking lot. The guy lets out a growl of frustration. He steps toward me, leaning so far over that he blocks out all of the sunlight. “Stupid bitch!” He scowls at me, intimidation lacing his tone. He reaches down, grabbing my top with both of his large hands. He pulls me to my feet, my ass sore from the fall.

  “Get off me,” I yell. I whip my head to the side at the sound of heavy footsteps approaching.

  “Back off, man,” an authoritative voice from behind me says. I twist my head, trying to get a look at the owner of the voice, but I can’t. This dick has me held so tightly I can barely move.

  “You don’t want to get involved, man. I suggest you jog on by.”

  Eventually, the guy I recognize from the other day comes into view. My eyes go wide at the sight of him, hoping that Caleb will be there, too. I pull at the guys hands, kicking out my legs a little, trying to get him to release his grip.

  “Get your damn hands off me,” I yell, looking the guy directly in the eye. He releases his hold, pushing me back. I stumble into the figure I didn’t know was behind me. His arms encase me softly as I fall against his toned chest. My heart accelerates as I look up to see Caleb’s dark eyes looking back at me. His face is hard, stern looking even, but I feel like time has stopped in this moment as I fixate on the man holding me up. I try to lock eyes with him again, but he looks away, never once taking me in. I scramble to my feet, panic filling me as I zone in on what is happening around me. Josh and the guy from the café arguing. Suddenly Rose appears from nowhere, standing beside Josh, adding into the argument.

  “I want my money back. I ain’t leaving ‘til that bitch repays every last fucking dollar,” the guy snarls, crossing his arms in a childlike stance.

  “You didn’t pay your bill, you asshole, and you wrecked the place with your little tantrum. I’ve got a good mind to call the police on your dumb ass,” Rose yells back, hands on her hips, looking all sassy.

  “Yeah,” I chip in. “Just get out of here, before this gets real nasty,” I add, faking confidence.

  I watch as Josh nods, pointing back at the two of us. “I’d do what they say, man. I don’t think they’re joking around.”

  The guy lets out a huge growl of frustration. “This isn’t the last you’ve heard of this.” He points directly at me. I smile back at him as he races across to his car.

  “Jesus. Are you crazy?” Rose asks, her eyes wide and her hands resting on her hips.

  “What?” I ask incredulously. “The guy trashed the table and walked out without paying. He can’t just do that.”

  “So you thought you’d walk into the parking lot and take the money from him, huh? I mean, that was never gonna end well, was it?” she screeches.

  I roll my eyes at her, sighing. I turn my attention to my rescuers. “Thanks for intervening, guys.” I smile first at Josh, before turning to acknowledge Caleb. Except he’s gone. I turn back to Josh, confusion dressing my face. “Huh? Where’d he go?”

  “Not exactly a people person,” he offers back with a loose shrug of his shoulders. “I’ll be sure to tell him thanks.” He sets off in a jog, picking up the pace as he leaves the parking lot.

  “Yeah, bye,” I shout over as the distance increases between us. He turns his head, a cute smile tugging at the corner of his full lips. He winks before turning back and continuing on his run.

  “Oh. My. God!” Rose fans her face. “Did you see that? Oh my, he’s so delicious!” Her eyes are dreamy as she continues to stare at his figure in the distance.

  “He’s okay. I guess,” I say with a shrug. Her hand lands on my arm heavily, her hold tightening.

  “Okay? Are you freaking kidding me? That guy’s hot! Full stop!”

  I laugh at her as my mind wanders, thoughts of the dark looking mysterious Caleb. “I wonder why Caleb took off like that.” My thoughts escape my mouth.

  “I told you, girl; he’s weird,” she says snarky.

  “You don’t even know him,” I snap. “There’s something about him,” I say in a hushed voice as I stare into the distance.

  “What?” she asks, not quite hearing my inner confession.

  “Girls,” Bob calls from the café door, interrupting us. “What’s going on out here? We have customers to serve!” We both turn quickly to see Bob standing in the doorway, his arms crossed, and his stare is hard.

  “Shit,” Rose mumbles.

  “What are you both doing out here?” he shouts, annoyance lacing his tone.

  “Those guys left a wallet. I was just returning it to them,” I answer honestly, leaving out the part where it got a little messy. We swiftly make our way back inside. As I reach the door, I have the sudden urge to look back. As I do, I notice a guy across the road, standing beside the tree, looking in my direction. I narrow my eyes, trying to get a clear look at who it is. I take in a sharp breath at the realization that it’s Caleb. He slowly drops his hood, lifting his head, and looking directly at me. I shiver a little, wrapping my arms around my body as I break out in goose pimples.

  Caleb

  “Hey, man, open the door.” Josh’s voice echoes as he yells at me through the wood. I’m physically shaking, breathing so damn hard that my nostrils flare. I don’t know if it’s the annoyance or whether I’m just out of breath from the damn run.

  “I know you’re in there, man. Why did you run off?”

  Is this guy for real? He drags me into a situation with the girl from next door and expects me to be okay with this? I never signed up to be a fucking body guard. Running, he said. That’s all it was ever supposed to be. I exhale heavily, hoping to steady my breathing, but it doesn’t seem to be working. Josh hammers on the door again. Out of anger, I storm over, pulling the door open with force.

  “What!” I yell. “What do you want?”

  “Well for starters I’d like to know why you’re so pissed at me.” He barges past and into my apartment. I slam the door and follow behind him.

  “You.” I exhale loudly. “You dragged me into that shitty situation.”

  “I’m sorry, Cal, but I couldn’t walk on by. What if something had happened to her?”

  “She’s not my problem,” I grate out. Because truly, she was nobody to me.

  “That’s bullshit, man, and you know it. I don’t know the girl, but I could never knowingly walk away if I thought someone was in danger.”

  I walk over t
o him, until I’m inches away from his face. “Let’s get one thing straight. We run. That’s all. If you want more than that, you’ll have to find some other fucker.” Walking away from him, I head to the fridge to grab a drink. My hands shake from my anger as I pop the top. Taking a sip from the bottle, I tug my hands through my hair. Josh lets out a harsh breath. The tension and awkwardness is apparent, so I stroll off into the bathroom to take a shower. I have nothing else to say to him. A few seconds later, I hear the thud of the front door as he leaves.

  I strip down and enter the shower, hoping that the coolness of the water can calm my erratic heartbeat. The water surges around my body as I step in, encasing me completely with its cool and smooth touch. I run my rough hands over my face, clearing the stream of water. Rolling my neck, I hope to alleviate some of the tension I hold there and in my shoulders. I feel bad for being such a prick to Josh, but he has to know that he can’t keep pushing me this way. He knows the deal. I don’t do people. At all. I keep to myself. I can’t handle any more than that right now. But, the worst part of today was seeing Amber on the ground with that creep leaning over her. The burning feeling of anger rose inside me at the sight. But so did the cold, painful feeling of hopelessness. I couldn’t have helped, even if I wanted to.

  My soul is dark and tainted.

  I’m not a hero.

  I’m a monster.

  The evil lives on inside me. I will never escape what I did, or what happened to me. That reality is one I have to live with every damn day of my life.

  Amber

  The next few days pass quickly. Between the business course at college, my part time hours at the café, teamed with hours spent at the rehearsal studio, I’ve barely seen Lily. I know she’s pissed, but she understands. I’ve arranged to meet up with her tonight for drinks.

  Today’s shift at the café ran smoothly; the hours passing by quickly because we were so busy. Luckily, I haven’t seen any of the douche bags that came in causing trouble the other day.

  After a quick shower, I head into the small kitchen and pour myself a much needed glass of wine. I lift the glass to my lips, sipping on the cool, refreshing liquid. “Cheers, bitch. You did good this week,” I toast myself, happy with how things are finally falling into place. I hold the towel against my chest as I waddle, glass in hand, back into the bedroom.

  Once dry, I search through the huge closet to find just the right kind of dress for tonight’s antics. It’s been a while since I’ve found the right sort of guy to have some fun with. My first fumble with the loser from the club a bit ago was less than satisfying. I need to be smart, pick the right guy tonight. I know I sound like some jerk, just out for one thing, but relationships aren’t for me. I’ve tried them and it never really lasts that long. Relationships, for me, are full of pain and disappointment. I want the fun, not the heartache. I don’t want a connection. I won’t allow myself to get too close. Being close equals heartache, and that’s something I’m not strong enough to deal with. Pushing people away is the easiest way to keep my heart safe. So tonight, that’s all about meeting the right kind of guy, for the right kind of fun.

  Shimmying on the cute dress I’ve chosen for tonight, I pull the thin straps over my shoulders, adjusting myself in front of the mirror. Easy on, easy off. I chuckle at the thought, excited to let off some steam tonight. I turn to my small CD player, hitting the on button. Music booms, vibrating through the room. I stand there, swaying my hips to the music as I finish prettying myself in the mirror.

  One last coat of lipstick and I’m done. I press my lips together, pouting at my reflection. I love the red lipstick and look I’ve gone for tonight. It’s sexy, in a subtle sort of way. I look down, noticing the screen on my cell phone has lit up. I turn and quickly dull the music, answering the call from Lily.

  “Sup, bitch tits?”

  She giggles. “You ready or what?”

  “Just. I’m on my way down now.”

  “Hurry. I’m waiting right outside the door.”

  “I’m coming,” I answer, before saying goodbye and ending the call. I grab the red lipstick, my purse, and race into the small hallway. I pick up my high heeled stilettos and grab my keys to lock the door. Before leaving, I look at myself one last time in the hallway mirror. Perfect. I race to the elevator, grateful to see it seems to be up and running again. I press the button and the doors open almost immediately. Selecting the button for the bottom floor, I tap my hand against my leg and hum the song that had been playing before I left. The excitement of the impending night causes a buzz through me. The elevator finally comes to a standstill and the doors open. I race out and through the entrance doors, my eyes catching the sight of the taxi out front. I lock eyes with my beautiful friend in the backseat of the cab. Quickly, I make my way over, pulling open the door. Lily’s eyes go wide.

  “What?” I ask, a slight smile dressing my face. She doesn’t take her eyes off me for even a second.

  “Nothing.” She shakes her head. “Just, I’m loving this understated sexy look you’ve gone with for tonight!” She shuffles across the seat, allowing me more room, before leaning in and kissing my cheek. “I missed you the last couple of days. I was starting to think you’d forgotten about me.”

  “Never,” I answer, tilting my head with an apologetic look on my face. “I’m sorry, babe. I’ve just been busy settling in. Once I’m in my new routine, there will be plenty of Ambly time.”

  “Sorry?” She frowns, shaking her head. “What time?”

  “Ambly. You know, it’s a mix of our names.” She looks at me with a mystified expression, so I continue trying to explain. “You know, Amber and Lily. Oh, never mind.” I laugh, waving my hand in front of her face in dismissal. “You’re a dumb ass sometimes, Lil.”

  “And you’re fucking lame, Am. What are we? Back in first grade?”

  “Well fuck you. I thought it was cute.” I laugh, as she leans into me. Our combined laughter fills the cab.

  After a short drive, we pull up outside the busy strip lined with fancy looking bars. Quite honestly, I don’t care as long as I get to drink and dance. I push open the cab door and step out. The sun is still providing some light into the evening and it’s warmer than I expected.

  “Am, you forgot your keys.” I look back to see Lily jingling them in the air. “I’ll put them in my purse for safe keeping,” she advises as she pushes them into her oversized purse. As she stands, I reach my hand out to help her from the cab. She stumbles a few steps before she’s able to steady herself.

  “Jesus, you wasted already?” I ask, a little tongue in cheek.

  “I just tripped, bitch. I only had two glasses of red!”

  “Take it steady then. I don’t want to be carrying your ass home.”

  “Shut up and let’s go have fun,” she says, sidling up to me. We hook our arms together and head down the sidewalk.

  “I sure could use a little fun.” I turn to her, taking in her beautiful face. Lily was your typical blonde beauty. Each one of her features defined and beyond perfect; she is just the right kind of tall. Not too tall, but not short at all. She really is stunning and always dressed immaculately. I feel my side grin spread a little as I notice her eyes on me.

  “What?” She looks from my mouth back to meet my eyes.

  “Just thinking how damn perfect you are.”

  “God, as if.” She sighs, dismissing my compliment. “So, we’re going to meet Ryan with a few of the other guys and two of the girls I told you about,” she tells me as we walk into the impressive looking bar.

  “What girls? And Ryan? Really?” My eyes scan the bar before landing back on Lily.

  Lily rolls her eyes in annoyance at me. I don’t remember her telling me about these girls, but I’m not sure I’m always paying complete attention to what she is saying.

  “Melody and Jayann. I definitely told you about them.” She sighs loudly. “So be nice please. These are good girls.”

  “Me?” I shriek. “I’m always nice. To
o nice for my own good sometimes.”

  “Okay, nice was the wrong word.” She pauses for a second, the gears in her brain turning as she looks for the right word. “You know what, scrap that. Be you. Be yourself, because no matter what, I love you. All of you. Your over honesty, your directness. I love it all.”

  She turns to me, squeezing me so tightly that I actually fear I may stop breathing. She sways from side to side, continuing the embrace.

  “Jeez thanks, you soppy cow. Do you think you could ease up a little so I can continue to breathe? You know, if it’s not too much trouble?” I croak. Her arms tighten, intensifying her hold for a few seconds before releasing me. I smile at her, readjusting myself from her hold. At the same moment, she places her hand on mine, before she deafens me with the highest pitched squeal I’ve ever heard.

  “What the hell, Lil?” I ask, my hands covering my ears. “What was that for?”

  “Come on! Quick,” she flusters, grabbing the top of my arm in some sort of death grip.

  “You want to tell me what’s going on?” I ask, my voice a little sterner now.

  “It’s only Josh fucking Larson!” She points over to a group sitting at the far end of the room.

  I stare at her blankly, with still no idea who she’s talking about.

  “Duh, Am. You know, the hot guy. The guy who runs with your strange neighbor.”

  I narrow my eyes at her in warning. She shrugs. “But you know who I mean now, right?”

  “Oh him,” I answer flatly. My lack of excitement has annoyed Lily, obvious by the look on her face and the way her arms are crossed rigidly in front of her chest.

  “Girl, if you can’t see how mighty fine Josh is, then I’m seriously considering the fact you need to go see an optician, cos you must be blind.”

  “Not you too!” I shake my head, remembering how Rose gushed in a similar way. “I’m just not sure he’s my type. He’s too jock. Too perfect. Give me rough around the edges any day of the week.” I shrug my shoulders.